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oatscarwilde: blackstar: blackstar: once every few weeks i remember exactly how bad the narrator of fight club wanted tyler durden to raw him and wake up in a cold sweat haunted by the hordes of straight dudes who thought that this character was heterosexual straight dudes: boy, fight club sure does speak to our specific, heterosexual form of masculinity! what a classic! fight club’s actual narrator: i am in love with a man Slammed In the Ass By The Alternate Personality I Created to Vent My Frustration With Consumer Culture and My Confused Sense of Masculinity by Chuck Tingle : "Don't worry," Tyler says. "The clear layer is glycerin. You can mix the glycerin back in when you make soap. Or, you can skim the glycerin off." Tyler licks his lips, and turns my hands palm-down on his thigh, on the gummy flannel lap of his bathrobe... "You can mix the glycerin with nitric acid to make nitroglycerin," Tylen says I breathe with my mouth open and say, nitroglycerin. Tyler licks his lips wet and shining and kisses the back of my hand. "You can mix the nitroglycerin with sodium nitrate and sawdust to make dynamite," Tyler says. The kiss shines wet on the back of my white hand. Dynamite, I say, and sit back on my heels. oatscarwilde: blackstar: blackstar: once every few weeks i remember exactly how bad the narrator of fight club wanted tyler durden to raw him and wake up in a cold sweat haunted by the hordes of straight dudes who thought that this character was heterosexual straight dudes: boy, fight club sure does speak to our specific, heterosexual form of masculinity! what a classic! fight club’s actual narrator: i am in love with a man Slammed In the Ass By The Alternate Personality I Created to Vent My Frustration With Consumer Culture and My Confused Sense of Masculinity by Chuck Tingle
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solarpunkarchivist: sanscarte: branwyn-says: lifehacksthatwork: Signs of a heart attack are different for each gender yet we only really teach the male warning signs. Make sure you’re aware of both and spread it to as many other women as possible! EVERY SINGLE TIME I HAVE TAKEN A CPR CLASS I have had to be that person who points out that the training videos ALWAYS frame the “male” symptoms as the default universal heart attack experience, while the “female” symptoms are framed as though they’re a deviation from the norm, rather than the primary symptom set that cis women experience.  ALSO: I just showed this post to my roommate, who is an MD at a clinic that specializes in care for the LGBT community in the Baltimore area. I asked her  whether hormones were responsible for the difference in the “male/female” symptom arrays. I asked how that would apply to her trans patients (which, she treats a LOT of trans patients). She said, basically, that the longer you’ve taken testosterone the more likely you are to get the intense chest pressure and the arm pain, versus the upper back pressure and shortness of breath. Obviously I am not a doctor myself, consult your own health care provider, etc. Reblogging this comment because this is the FIRST TIME I’ve ever seen someone address what XYZ medical condition would look like in trans patients. Also this is partly why my great-grandma died: the (male) doctor dismissed her heart attack as basically indigestion, because she didn’t have the typical male symptoms. Oh my God someone was able to answer the trans patient question! : Heart Attack Warning Signs A guide to better understand heart attack warning signs from Marshfield Clinic & Shine3bs Women Lightheadedness or dizziness Men Cold sweat or nausea Upper back pressure Chest pressure or pain Chest pressure Shortness of breath Shortness of breath Pain in one or both arms, the back, neck, jaw or stomach Pain in one or both arms, the back, neck jaw or stomach Fainting or extreme fatigue If you have any of these 5 symptoms for more than 5 minutes and are unsure of Women might not experience the chest pain that is often noted as the most common sign of heart attack. the cause, call 9-1-1. Treatments work best if given Some women who have had heart within 1 hour of when heart attacks say they thought they had the symptoms associated with the flu attack symptoms begin. Experts at Heart Marshfield Clinic solarpunkarchivist: sanscarte: branwyn-says: lifehacksthatwork: Signs of a heart attack are different for each gender yet we only really teach the male warning signs. Make sure you’re aware of both and spread it to as many other women as possible! EVERY SINGLE TIME I HAVE TAKEN A CPR CLASS I have had to be that person who points out that the training videos ALWAYS frame the “male” symptoms as the default universal heart attack experience, while the “female” symptoms are framed as though they’re a deviation from the norm, rather than the primary symptom set that cis women experience.  ALSO: I just showed this post to my roommate, who is an MD at a clinic that specializes in care for the LGBT community in the Baltimore area. I asked her  whether hormones were responsible for the difference in the “male/female” symptom arrays. I asked how that would apply to her trans patients (which, she treats a LOT of trans patients). She said, basically, that the longer you’ve taken testosterone the more likely you are to get the intense chest pressure and the arm pain, versus the upper back pressure and shortness of breath. Obviously I am not a doctor myself, consult your own health care provider, etc. Reblogging this comment because this is the FIRST TIME I’ve ever seen someone address what XYZ medical condition would look like in trans patients. Also this is partly why my great-grandma died: the (male) doctor dismissed her heart attack as basically indigestion, because she didn’t have the typical male symptoms. Oh my God someone was able to answer the trans patient question!

solarpunkarchivist: sanscarte: branwyn-says: lifehacksthatwork: Signs of a heart attack are different for each gender yet we only real...

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xphilosoraptorx: unlimited-shitpost-works: siryouarebeingmocked: 8lastrat8: american–support: kasaron: allriot-political-tshirts: American citizens own 40% of all guns in the world. Out of more than one billion firearms in the world, American citizens hold 393 million, for a population of roughly 326 million. That’s a lot of guns! The last time the US federal government managed to pass laws that limit the spread and use of guns was 25 years ago. It was 1994. The Federal Assault Weapons Ban was temporary. It expired in 2004, resulting in a massive increase in mass shootings across the country. Republicans are running out of excuses, blaming the latest incidents in Drayton and El Paso on video games. We can end gun violence. Let’s start with gun control. What sort of gun control legislation would you like to see be put into place? OP, that claim of shootings increased is false. The violence and shootings didn’t change in that decade from the previous decade, and in fact, violence has been on the decline. WHAT HAS CHANGED is how much media is shoved down your throat. Thats it. The nonstop spam from legacy media of a single event for a month, if not months on end is what changed. It used to be a 5, maybe 10 minute story has now turned into a 4 week “constant coverage” of spewing the same info daily, with nothing added. After the early 90s, we saw a sharp decline and its been declining ever since. Meanwhile, ownership is at an alltime high, increasing, as if a plethora of armed citizens reduces the audacity of a potential killer to attempt knowing they’ll get capped. What has also changed is the increase in the absolutely terrible idea of “gun free zones” seeing as approximately 85-95% of these shootings are occuring in these zones. Seems like that’s your problem. Hmm, this graph seems to showcase that despite the US owning vastly more guns… homicide rate is lower than a hefty chunk of even the non gun owners… I’d just like to know how they propose to take our guns. If I got one logical explanation from one of these half wits that didn’t include magic or ridiculous gestapo tactics we could have a conversation but, every F’ing time it devolves into name calling, insults, and slander. They simply can’t explain how to take the guns away. Not a single one of them has ever responded to me without crass vulgarities and irrational screeching. myamberreason said:  Anyway, guys, why you need THAT many guns? I understand owned a few for protection or legal hunting, but why do you have around 40% of firearms in the world?? I’m sorry, are you implying the Yanks should meet international proportional quotas on guns? We do own a few for self-defense and hunting. It’s just that the rest of the world doesn’t own very many guns. The reason we all have so many guns is very simple: logistics. The point of the second amendment is for us, the citizens of the USA, to be “shit your pants, wake up in a cold sweat” terrifying to the people running this country, so much so that they involuntarily have second, third, even fourth thoughts about ever violating our rights. The 2nd amendment is the most important and most powerful of all the amendments. Every single right and amendment could taken away, and we could regain them all with that one. And I’m not the only one who recognizes the importance of the 2nd.And it definitely terrifies Beijing. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I don’t have to justify an amount of guns to you any more than I have to justify how many video games or coffee cups I have.: BANG BANG WE CAN END GUN VIOLENCE. xphilosoraptorx: unlimited-shitpost-works: siryouarebeingmocked: 8lastrat8: american–support: kasaron: allriot-political-tshirts: American citizens own 40% of all guns in the world. Out of more than one billion firearms in the world, American citizens hold 393 million, for a population of roughly 326 million. That’s a lot of guns! The last time the US federal government managed to pass laws that limit the spread and use of guns was 25 years ago. It was 1994. The Federal Assault Weapons Ban was temporary. It expired in 2004, resulting in a massive increase in mass shootings across the country. Republicans are running out of excuses, blaming the latest incidents in Drayton and El Paso on video games. We can end gun violence. Let’s start with gun control. What sort of gun control legislation would you like to see be put into place? OP, that claim of shootings increased is false. The violence and shootings didn’t change in that decade from the previous decade, and in fact, violence has been on the decline. WHAT HAS CHANGED is how much media is shoved down your throat. Thats it. The nonstop spam from legacy media of a single event for a month, if not months on end is what changed. It used to be a 5, maybe 10 minute story has now turned into a 4 week “constant coverage” of spewing the same info daily, with nothing added. After the early 90s, we saw a sharp decline and its been declining ever since. Meanwhile, ownership is at an alltime high, increasing, as if a plethora of armed citizens reduces the audacity of a potential killer to attempt knowing they’ll get capped. What has also changed is the increase in the absolutely terrible idea of “gun free zones” seeing as approximately 85-95% of these shootings are occuring in these zones. Seems like that’s your problem. Hmm, this graph seems to showcase that despite the US owning vastly more guns… homicide rate is lower than a hefty chunk of even the non gun owners… I’d just like to know how they propose to take our guns. If I got one logical explanation from one of these half wits that didn’t include magic or ridiculous gestapo tactics we could have a conversation but, every F’ing time it devolves into name calling, insults, and slander. They simply can’t explain how to take the guns away. Not a single one of them has ever responded to me without crass vulgarities and irrational screeching. myamberreason said:  Anyway, guys, why you need THAT many guns? I understand owned a few for protection or legal hunting, but why do you have around 40% of firearms in the world?? I’m sorry, are you implying the Yanks should meet international proportional quotas on guns? We do own a few for self-defense and hunting. It’s just that the rest of the world doesn’t own very many guns. The reason we all have so many guns is very simple: logistics. The point of the second amendment is for us, the citizens of the USA, to be “shit your pants, wake up in a cold sweat” terrifying to the people running this country, so much so that they involuntarily have second, third, even fourth thoughts about ever violating our rights. The 2nd amendment is the most important and most powerful of all the amendments. Every single right and amendment could taken away, and we could regain them all with that one. And I’m not the only one who recognizes the importance of the 2nd.And it definitely terrifies Beijing. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I don’t have to justify an amount of guns to you any more than I have to justify how many video games or coffee cups I have.
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“I thought, ‘You fucking guys are so lucky I’m not actually gay and terrified of coming out,’ ” he recalls now. “That’s something that kills people. That’s how sensitive it is. Do you like the songs? Do you like me? Who cares if I’m gay?”: Mendes admits that the attention on his personal life has caused him a lot of stress. "I'd like to say I don't care about it, but that's not true," he says. This brings him to another, much thornier issue that he's been forced to navigate: "This massive, massive thing for the last five years about me being gay." Examples of what he means are all over YouTube and Twitter. There are memes that pair photos of Mendes with jokes about being closeted and videos that scrutinize his gestures. On some parts of the Internet, outing him has become a spectator sport. Mendes often finds himself watching his own interviews, analyzing his voice and his body language. He'll see an anonymous stranger comment on the way he crossed his legs once and try not to do it again He pulls out his phone to show me his Twitter account - his name is the only recent search "In the back of my heart, I feel like I need to go be seen with someone - like a girl - in public, to prove to people that I'm not gay," he says. "Even though in my heart I know that it's not a bad thing. There's still a piece of me that thinks that. And I hate that side of me." Ce Swift was texting Mendes a cellphone video of them together, just to make sure he was cool with her posting it - a short clip of the night they were hanging out backstage at her Reputation tour and she put her glittery eye makeup on Mendes' face, to his delight. He told her it was fine without thinking, but later that night, he woke up in a cold sweat. "I felt sick," he said. "I was like, Fuck, why did I let her post that?' I just fed the fire that I'm terrified of. CS 92 “I thought, ‘You fucking guys are so lucky I’m not actually gay and terrified of coming out,’ ” he recalls now. “That’s something that kills people. That’s how sensitive it is. Do you like the songs? Do you like me? Who cares if I’m gay?”
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roguesquirrel: gerardway420: oatscarwilde: blackstar: blackstar: once every few weeks i remember exactly how bad the narrator of fight club wanted tyler durden to raw him and wake up in a cold sweat haunted by the hordes of straight dudes who thought that this character was heterosexual straight dudes: boy, fight club sure does speak to our specific, heterosexual form of masculinity! what a classic! fight club’s actual narrator: i am in love with a man Slammed In the Ass By The Alternate Personality I Created to Vent My Frustration With Consumer Culture and My Confused Sense of Masculinity by Chuck Tingle @fletty @rm-renfield : "Don't worry," Tyler says. "The clear layer is glycerin. You can mix the glycerin back in when you make soap. Or, you can skim the glycerin off." Tyler licks his lips, and turns my hands palm-down on his thigh, on the gummy flannel lap of his bathrobe... "You can mix the glycerin with nitric acid to make nitroglycerin," Tylen says I breathe with my mouth open and say, nitroglycerin. Tyler licks his lips wet and shining and kisses the back of my hand. "You can mix the nitroglycerin with sodium nitrate and sawdust to make dynamite," Tyler says. The kiss shines wet on the back of my white hand. Dynamite, I say, and sit back on my heels. roguesquirrel: gerardway420: oatscarwilde: blackstar: blackstar: once every few weeks i remember exactly how bad the narrator of fight club wanted tyler durden to raw him and wake up in a cold sweat haunted by the hordes of straight dudes who thought that this character was heterosexual straight dudes: boy, fight club sure does speak to our specific, heterosexual form of masculinity! what a classic! fight club’s actual narrator: i am in love with a man Slammed In the Ass By The Alternate Personality I Created to Vent My Frustration With Consumer Culture and My Confused Sense of Masculinity by Chuck Tingle @fletty @rm-renfield
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botanyshitposts: birdsbugsandbones: botanyshitposts: i woke up in a cold sweat to make this #its 3am :b:lease#i need to find that one quote from the one botanist who said that american pitcher plants were made by god to shield bugs from the sun#it was mentioned in one of the presentations i went to last week and i wrote down the dude’s name#in an incredible twist of fate the actual reason the pitchers existed……were much more sinister#carnivorous plants  - @botanyshitposts Holy heck, they what?! Things were wild in the old botany fandom. so in the presentation where they talked about this they cited a book called “Plants of the Southeast” published in 1712 but I have not for the life of me been able to find a pdf of it at all but in the process of searching for it i accidentally stumbled across the dark underworld of modern creationists REALLY struggling to explain carnivorous plants stop calling them cursed they’re just hungry!!!!!!!!!: thinking carnivorous plants 17th century god fearing christian scientists who bugs arnivorous hate that darwin guy about to face devastating news botanyshitposts: birdsbugsandbones: botanyshitposts: i woke up in a cold sweat to make this #its 3am :b:lease#i need to find that one quote from the one botanist who said that american pitcher plants were made by god to shield bugs from the sun#it was mentioned in one of the presentations i went to last week and i wrote down the dude’s name#in an incredible twist of fate the actual reason the pitchers existed……were much more sinister#carnivorous plants  - @botanyshitposts Holy heck, they what?! Things were wild in the old botany fandom. so in the presentation where they talked about this they cited a book called “Plants of the Southeast” published in 1712 but I have not for the life of me been able to find a pdf of it at all but in the process of searching for it i accidentally stumbled across the dark underworld of modern creationists REALLY struggling to explain carnivorous plants stop calling them cursed they’re just hungry!!!!!!!!!
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yellingplant: bleeding-salamander: yellingplant: busket: rezpiral: yellingplant: so uh ,,  Hey, this is the scariest thing I’ve seen thanks. yall act like you’ve never seen a mushroom before inside toad’s head is an hollow cavern circling his face which contains those gills (the light brown ribbed things). when he gets old, his head will open up and flare out like a sombrero, and release the spores held in the gills on the underside of the cap. and then he’ll die toads in various stages of life: IM REALLY NOT SURE IF THIS IS ANY BETTER I reblogged this a few days ago, but I woke up in a cold sweat to draw this OH NO  : Polygon Following @Polygon Nintendo confirms that Toad is not wearing a hat. That's his head. polygon.com/2018/2/5/16974 10:03 AM - 5 Feb 2018 4,028 Retweets 8,611 Likes yellingplant: bleeding-salamander: yellingplant: busket: rezpiral: yellingplant: so uh ,,  Hey, this is the scariest thing I’ve seen thanks. yall act like you’ve never seen a mushroom before inside toad’s head is an hollow cavern circling his face which contains those gills (the light brown ribbed things). when he gets old, his head will open up and flare out like a sombrero, and release the spores held in the gills on the underside of the cap. and then he’ll die toads in various stages of life: IM REALLY NOT SURE IF THIS IS ANY BETTER I reblogged this a few days ago, but I woke up in a cold sweat to draw this OH NO 

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Brain glitch stories: tumblr Follow bitchhpunk debrides I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (say bye bus!) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it I'm glad there's a teacher version of accidentally called teacher mom when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people my lord" mugsandpugs1 One time during family prayer, dad began: "our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you? thomrainierskies One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say Welcome to White Castle, what's your crave?) asked, "Welcome to White Castle, what's your problem? She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing mirab3lle Yesterday I went to Wendy's and the girl said "Welcome to McDonalds" and then just sighed Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered please open your books to page eight", and we just kind of stared at each other blinking i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same question twice, or say "$2.60 is your total while handing back their change, or say "how are you doing today?" instead of "have a good day! like name it ive bungled it but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: 'few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both as i handed her the bag i was trying to say thanks, youre all set and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said thanks, youre important there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said she blinked and then said "oh thank youl youre important tool the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was "at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined youre welcome and 'no problem into youre a problem" one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, This is why we use our walking feet. we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, yeah, okay, i should've done that." gin-and-eschatonic I've spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say shit like "behind and "coming around" as I maneuver through spaces and around people which, actually not such a bad thing. I'm a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a coming with a knife" while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks, Alex narwhalsarefalling i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat if he needed something sugar4ndroses I have woken up in a cold sweat saying is that for here or to go? only-in-movies Conversely, in my old job I rarely answered outside calls so was only used to picking up to colleagues in random ways. So one day while fixing something at a different desk I answered what I thought was an internal call with "how do, I have usurped admin only to realise it was external and a board member on the line The CEO banned me from the phones while trying not to laugh I have worked in a variety of café/restaurant jobs, and in my most recent cafe job people were allowed to bring their leashed dogs through the line with them. One day someone came through the line with an adorable pup, and when the dog looked up at me as I was checking them out, I said "would you like that dog for here or to go? Source debrides 438,007 notes Brain glitch stories
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Sometimes your brain just glitches: tumblr Follow bitchhpunk debrides I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object(say bye bus) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it autisticcole I'm glad there's a teacher version of accidentally called teacher 'mom when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people my lord One time during family prayer, dad began: our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you? One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say Welcome to White Castle, what's your crave?) asked, "Welcome to White Castle, what's your problem? She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing. Yesterday I went to Wendy's and the girl said "Welcome to McDonalds" and then just sighed Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered please open your books to page eight, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy -ill ask the same question twice, or say $2.60 is your total" while handing back their change, or say "how are you doing today?" instead of have a good day! like name it ive bungled it but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: Tew books are well wntten, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both as i handed her the bag i was trying to say "thanks, youre all set and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said thanks, youre important there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said oh thank you! youre important too! the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was "at least you said something NICE last week i accidentally combined youre welcome' and 'no problem' into 'youre a problem agrestenoir one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, This is why we use our walking feet we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, yeah, okay, i should ve done that. I've spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexivey say shit like behind" and coming around as I maneuver through spaces and around people. Which, actually, not such a bad thing. I'm a big guy and can come across as mposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions. Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a coming with a knife" while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks Alex i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat t he needed something I have woken up in a cold sweat saying is that for here or to go? only-in-movies Conversely, in my old job I rarely answered outside calls so was only used to picking up to colleagues in random ways. So one day while fixing something at a different desk I answered what I thought was an internal call with "how do, I have usurped admin" only to realise it was external and a board member on the line. The CEO banned me from the phones while trying not to laugh. I have worked in a variety of caté/restaurant jobs, and in my most recent cafe job people were allowed to bring their leashed dogs through the line with them. One day someone came through the line with an adorable pup, and when the dog looked up at me as I was checking them out, I said "would you like that dog for here or to go? only-in-movies Conversely, in my old job I rarely answered outside calls so was only used to picking up to colleagues in random ways. So one day while fixing something at a different desk I answered what I thought was an internal call with "how do, I have usurped admin" only to realise it was external and a board member on the line. The CEO banned me from the phones while trying not to laugh I have worked in a variety of caté/restaurant jobs, and in my most recent cafe job people were allowed to bring their leashed dogs through the line with them One day someone came through the line with an adorable pup, and when the dog looked up at me as I was checking them out, I said "would you like that dog for here or to go? Source debrides 438,007 notes Sometimes your brain just glitches
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yellingplant: bleeding-salamander: yellingplant: busket: rezpiral: yellingplant: so uh ,,  Hey, this is the scariest thing I’ve seen thanks. yall act like you’ve never seen a mushroom before inside toad’s head is an hollow cavern circling his face which contains those gills (the light brown ribbed things). when he gets old, his head will open up and flare out like a sombrero, and release the spores held in the gills on the underside of the cap. and then he’ll die toads in various stages of life: IM REALLY NOT SURE IF THIS IS ANY BETTER I reblogged this a few days ago, but I woke up in a cold sweat to draw this OH NO  : Polygon Following @Polygon Nintendo confirms that Toad is not wearing a hat. That's his head. polygon.com/2018/2/5/16974 10:03 AM - 5 Feb 2018 4,028 Retweets 8,611 Likes yellingplant: bleeding-salamander: yellingplant: busket: rezpiral: yellingplant: so uh ,,  Hey, this is the scariest thing I’ve seen thanks. yall act like you’ve never seen a mushroom before inside toad’s head is an hollow cavern circling his face which contains those gills (the light brown ribbed things). when he gets old, his head will open up and flare out like a sombrero, and release the spores held in the gills on the underside of the cap. and then he’ll die toads in various stages of life: IM REALLY NOT SURE IF THIS IS ANY BETTER I reblogged this a few days ago, but I woke up in a cold sweat to draw this OH NO 

yellingplant: bleeding-salamander: yellingplant: busket: rezpiral: yellingplant: so uh ,,  Hey, this is the scariest thing I’ve see...

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yellingplant: bleeding-salamander: yellingplant: busket: rezpiral: yellingplant: so uh ,,  Hey, this is the scariest thing I’ve seen thanks. yall act like you’ve never seen a mushroom before inside toad’s head is an hollow cavern circling his face which contains those gills (the light brown ribbed things). when he gets old, his head will open up and flare out like a sombrero, and release the spores held in the gills on the underside of the cap. and then he’ll die toads in various stages of life: IM REALLY NOT SURE IF THIS IS ANY BETTER I reblogged this a few days ago, but I woke up in a cold sweat to draw this OH NO  So uh anyone want to tell tumblr about Plants vs Zombies?Have at it: Polygon Following @Polygon Nintendo confirms that Toad is not wearing a hat. That's his head. polygon.com/2018/2/5/16974 10:03 AM - 5 Feb 2018 4,028 Retweets 8,611 Likes yellingplant: bleeding-salamander: yellingplant: busket: rezpiral: yellingplant: so uh ,,  Hey, this is the scariest thing I’ve seen thanks. yall act like you’ve never seen a mushroom before inside toad’s head is an hollow cavern circling his face which contains those gills (the light brown ribbed things). when he gets old, his head will open up and flare out like a sombrero, and release the spores held in the gills on the underside of the cap. and then he’ll die toads in various stages of life: IM REALLY NOT SURE IF THIS IS ANY BETTER I reblogged this a few days ago, but I woke up in a cold sweat to draw this OH NO  So uh anyone want to tell tumblr about Plants vs Zombies?Have at it

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mcrscans: My Chemical Romance (UK tour special, 2004) article for Metal Hammer Special, 2013 by John Doran, photography by John McMurtrie.: 0 IN MID-2004, WITH THE GLOBAL DOMINATION THAT WAS TO COME JUST A MURMUR ON THE HORIZON, WE FOLLOWED MCR AROUND THE UK FOR ONE OF THEIR VERY FIRST METAL HAMMER FEATURES WORDS: JOHN DORAN PHOTOS: JOHN McMURTRIE mcrscans.tumblr.com G- prepared for the accident that was to happen tonight at premier sauna-cum-venue, The Garage. During erard Way had been having premonitions that he was going to be blinded for months. The lead an eviscerating performance, Gerard throws himself singer of My Chemical Romancetoward the crowd just as one particularly lust-crazed kept on seeing it happen in dreams and each time he would young woman thrusts her arms up to touch him. Gerard, now wearing onyx-black shades, takes up the story: "I head-banged into her finger and it went right in my eye. It was the weirdest feeling. It was painful but the worst thing was how weird it was. I could feel her finger in my eye and all this really warm fluid running down my face. I thought my eyeball had burst and I just kept on thinking about the dreams I'd been having about wake up in a cold sweat, shaking. So he was almost going blind. I was like, 'Dude, I've lost this left eye: But the finger was right back into my socket around the eyeball where all the tendons and shit are. It made LEAP OF FAITH: THE MCRMY PILE IN ANK GENUFLECTS AT HE ALTAR OF SCREAM 38 METLHAMNERCOUK THE BROTHERS WAY: DIVVENT MESS garage RISTOR music "DOESTHE NUMBER 30 GO FROM HERE MATE?" a really weird slurping noise when she took it out.the outfit) from Newark, NJ, who, despite only having Metal Hammer has very strict rules about what girls acouple of single releases in this country, are starting can and cannot stick into its various orifices and this should definitely be a no-no. Gerard and the rest of themuch for their own safety, then they do about their fans. band are sitting around sharing coffee, beers and soft They walk out on stage to hand out bottles of water to drinks, waiting for their Manchester Hop And Grape show the people at the front and regularly douse the ones who soundcheck this evening and telling us all about how they look like they need it. They also try to protect their fans are beginning to take off in this country-while swapping from the carnage on stage if they get up there. It's Metal gig injury stories. Gerard reckons it would have been cool Hammers view that moshing is a good thing because it in a way to have lost his eye, saying: "Can you imagine gives people the chance to have catharsis and get the how cool it would be to wear an eyepatch on stage?" to cause a huge stir over here. And if they don't care violence out that is in us all without hurting anyone else You'd be the screamo Bluebeard!", adds taciturr drummer Matt Pelissier. All of the band have horror stories in this country under the age of 40 was made to go to one to tell when it comes to playing live and, watching thepunk or screamo gig a week then football violence would powerhouse performance that they put on, you can't help probably die out overnight. But Gerard still thinks there's but feel they should take out a hell of a lot more personal anegative element to it sometimes, saying: "Some of it injury insurance. "Frank [Iero] hit me in the face with the is macho bullshit. Some of the nu metal acts were just head of his guitar one night and it was bleeding so much encouraging violence for violence's sake. It gives punk that my entire face was covered in blood," says Ray Toro, rck a bad name and it makes it harder for the kids. Their the Afro-haired guitarist. "It was like a mask of blood." parents aren't going to let them go and watch bands if (usually). In fact, we'd go so far as to say that if everyone "We're a really physical band on stage," adds Gerard.they go and get the shit kicked out of them." "I slipped a couple of discs in my back on tour. Frank hasThe Garage is heaving hours before the gig even starts broken his wrist. We've all been hurt." It was the gig the night before when we first met up with the five-piece (Gerard's brother Mikey plays bass in and people keep on coming up to Gerard in the pub beforehand. He's nearly mobbed at one point by two girls coming out of McDonald's. "Oh! My! God!" says "We've all been hurt GERARD ON SOME OF THE NOT-SO-MUCH-PERKS OF THE JOB mcrscans.tumblr.com METALHAMMERCOUK 39 VEHICLES AND CONTENTS ARE LEFT ENTIRELY AT OWNERS RISK MCR'S WARM-UP YOGA one with hermouth full of Curly Wurly McFlurry "My! Chemical! Romance! for a quick pint. Now Gerard's got over the fear of nearly becoming a rocknrolcyclops, he can explain the genesis. And you can see why they're starting to attract this of their strange name. "The name is taken from an Irvine kind of attention when the gig kicks off. Within seconds Welsh book. Me and Mikey were looking at a copy of Ecstasy, of the first song, Gerard is in the crowd, screaming and thrashing like a younger, better-looking Casey Chaos. Their music is reminiscent of other emo/post-hardcoreChemical Romance mean so much on so many different bands such as Funeral For A Friend and Hundred Reasons, levels. It seemed to be the only way to describe the music. but they have a scruffier, punkier edge, which comes fromAnd in another way, Trainspotting is generally set in this the fact that they're all massive fans of Black Flag. and on the inside it said, Three tales of chemical romance." The de facto leader of the group adds: "Well, the words area with people getting caught up in a scene and a vibe The band, it has to be said, as nice as they are, don't appear to be very rock'n'roll. Hammer groans inwardly when it gets on the tour bus, as the two DVDs that are out on show are Dungeons & Dragons, the cartoon, and a stop-motion animation of Wind In The Willows. Nearly all the band go straight to bed, leaving Hammer Matt, who looks like he would sooner be pulling his own up with just Matt and the drummers from Hondo Macleanteeth out with pliers than being interviewed, perks up and The Bled, drinking Stella, listening to Refused and slightly and says, "Newark is in the State of New Jersey, talking about hi-hats. C-c-c-call the cops! where there's a lot of drugs about and that resonated with us because of all the stuff we had to fight through to become a band. The strange thing is that when you watch the movie with the drug addiction and murder, it evern looks like Newark, where we come from!" a few hours outside of New York. It's a complete goddamn The next day, when Hammer has unstuck its tonguewasteland. It's been shut down for about 20 years. It from the floor and tried to rub its aching pancreas better, we look for the band, but apparently they all got up What does it smell of?" we ask. to go sightseeing around Manchester at 5.30 this morning. "Dead bodies", he replies nonchalantly. 5.30am? That was only half an hour after Hammer went to bed! Later, after a lot of fannying about with gaffa tape says, "and during that period I was using substances and hairspray, the band finally say theyre ready to go out to overcome other substances. smells godawful." "Also, at the time I was drinking severely," Gerard "I could feel her finger in my eye... I thought my eyeball had burst" NO, ITS NOT A WEIRD GROUPIE STORY mcrscans.tumblr.com 40 METRIHAMMERCOUK "Id had a really bad year before the band and that helped me get out of it. My art career had gone down the like he could have stepped straight out of Flock Of shitter, 9/11 had just happened. I was quite close to that Seagulls, Gerard is a goth-rock marauder with raven- at the time and it affected me in a very bad way. I became black hair, torn black clothing and aviator shades, and like a hermit and just started drinking all the time and Matt, with his backwards cap and goatee beard, looks I didn't want to do anything with my life. And drinking like he's ready to walk on stage filling in for Metallica. and not doing anything else is the worst thing you can Frank is the most 'modern-looking guy in the band do in terms of depression. I had to go and see a therapist with his punctured face, gun and heart tattoos, and for the first time ever and she put me on antidepressants. asymmetrical haircut. Suddenly all their disparate looks But it wasn'tthe counselling or the drugs, it was the band gel and they look like a band should: a band of brothers. that got me out of my depression. I had a purpose again." "In this life you gotta do what you gotta do!" yells with his MC5/Mars Volta 'fro, the rake-thin Mikey looks All of the band have had similar experiences. "I think Gerard before pausing and adding, "And if that means you'll find none of us was the cool kid at school," offers doing a line of coke and getting a blow job, then that's Frank. "I felt like I never fitted in when I was younger and what you gotta do!" I think depression is a normal thing that happens in thatHammer ain't gonna argue, and by the end of the show situation. So a lot of those emotions go into our songs. there have been more members of the audience running We keep it in check now. Sometimes I go a little bit off the across the stage and diving off than those who haven't. rails but we keep each other in check. There's always beer After dragging Frank off for a quick curry in nearby around when you're on tour. You're more likely to get beer Rusholme, just to prove that all English food isn't shit, tickets than meal tickets." we rejoin the others in Manchester's premier rock bar, The reason that bands drink so much on tour is because Big Hands, where a dizzying array of beers are drunk of all of the downtime there is to kil. Matt, who doesnt by the band, and by the swelling ranks of girls who want drink that often, says: You'll get kids who are desperate to drink with them. to come backstage and when they run into the dressingWe leave them at about 3am, cavorting on the streets of room there will be, like, one guy asleep, two having a chat, Manchester, singing note-perfect impressions of English one watching the TV and another smoking a cigarettebands while dreaming about world domination. they always look so depressed, like they've walked into the wrong room. Why? You feel like saying, Look, you'd be having a better time if you were out at the bar." Frank agrees: The hour you're on stage and meeting the kids afterwards is what it's all about. It is the 22.5 GERARD WOULD NEVER LET ANYONE INTO HIS SACRED CRYPT hours of the day which is boring when you're on tour." But if last night's gig was incendiary, tonight's is certifiably cooler. Ray looks like a 1960s urban guerrilla If 'DUDE, WHERE'S MY EYE?" mcrscans.tumblr.com METALHAMM ERCOUK 41 mcrscans: My Chemical Romance (UK tour special, 2004) article for Metal Hammer Special, 2013 by John Doran, photography by John McMurtrie.
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babyblueavenger: moonblossom: francsforthememories: dewgonair: lockrocksandcoke: 131-di: veggiebaker: therunscape: Heart attacks symptoms are different for women. I recently learned this.  Everyone should know these things. thanks to mainstream media and being unable to show breasts on TV, way too few people know about female signs of cardiac distress, and impending heart attacks. they only know about the “pain in the left arm” male symptom. i had all these symptoms once and they sent me right to hospital it was scary bc i didnt know these were the symptoms for female heart issues Please, please, PLEASE, reblog this. i don’t know if I did save or called false alarm, with my boss’ life tonight. I felt I was being a bit paranoid, overreacting, but I told Mirage my thoughts and he, after reading over the article I showed him, immediately sprung into action and then shooed her off to the hospital. I don’t know if I did or not, but I knew she’d been super stressed. She’d off-handedly commented on her arm tingling and I asked her if she felt queasy on a hunch. I went to look at the symptoms and we went from there. Holy shit, I didn’t even think the symptoms would be different between men and women. This is so hugely important and I don’t understand why we aren’t taught this.  One of the other symptoms that doesn’t get talked about , especially in women, is a “feeling of impending doom”. I am not even kidding, that is a legitimate diagnostic criteria.Please - if you are feeling any of these symptoms and a sudden onset of “Holy shit the world is ending” do not let anyone tell you it’s “just nerves” or “just heartburn” or something. Keep these in mind ESPECIALLY IF YOU’VE GOT HEART DISEASE IN YOUR FAMILY!  So many more women die from heart attacks than because they don’t recognize the symptoms when they’re so different. Please stay safe and stay informed. : THIS IS WHAT A HEART ATTACK FEELS LIKE TO A WOMAN 1TON CHEST PAIN, DISCOMFORT, PRESSURE OR UNUSUAL UPPER BODY PAIN, OR DISCOMFORT IN ONE OR BOTH ARMS, BACK, SHOULDER NECK, JAW OR UPPER PART OF THE STOMACH BREAKING OUT INA COLD SWEAT SQUEEZING LIKE THERE'S A TON OF WEIGHT ON YOU LIGHT-HEADEDNESS OR SUDDEN DIZZINESS NAUSEA UNUSUAL FATIGUE SHORTNESS OF BREATH If you experience any one of these symptoms, don't make excuses for them SERVICES Make the Call. Don't Miss a Beat. VHd To learn more, visit WomensHealth.gov/HeartAttack MAKE THE CALL babyblueavenger: moonblossom: francsforthememories: dewgonair: lockrocksandcoke: 131-di: veggiebaker: therunscape: Heart attacks symptoms are different for women. I recently learned this.  Everyone should know these things. thanks to mainstream media and being unable to show breasts on TV, way too few people know about female signs of cardiac distress, and impending heart attacks. they only know about the “pain in the left arm” male symptom. i had all these symptoms once and they sent me right to hospital it was scary bc i didnt know these were the symptoms for female heart issues Please, please, PLEASE, reblog this. i don’t know if I did save or called false alarm, with my boss’ life tonight. I felt I was being a bit paranoid, overreacting, but I told Mirage my thoughts and he, after reading over the article I showed him, immediately sprung into action and then shooed her off to the hospital. I don’t know if I did or not, but I knew she’d been super stressed. She’d off-handedly commented on her arm tingling and I asked her if she felt queasy on a hunch. I went to look at the symptoms and we went from there. Holy shit, I didn’t even think the symptoms would be different between men and women. This is so hugely important and I don’t understand why we aren’t taught this.  One of the other symptoms that doesn’t get talked about , especially in women, is a “feeling of impending doom”. I am not even kidding, that is a legitimate diagnostic criteria.Please - if you are feeling any of these symptoms and a sudden onset of “Holy shit the world is ending” do not let anyone tell you it’s “just nerves” or “just heartburn” or something. Keep these in mind ESPECIALLY IF YOU’VE GOT HEART DISEASE IN YOUR FAMILY!  So many more women die from heart attacks than because they don’t recognize the symptoms when they’re so different. Please stay safe and stay informed.
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Dumbass 💀 - *gets in car with friend* "Wassup bro." "..." *he puts car in drive* "Aye you good?" "She broke up with me." *instantly regrets getting in car* "Aye man it's not that serio-" "10 YEARS!!! 10 YEARS WE WERE DATING. AND THEN WHEN I PROPOSED TO HER-" "You PROPOSED?" "-SHE SAID 'Were like brother and sister.' LIKE WHAT THE FUCK BRO?" "That cause you are brother and sis-" "AND WHEN I TRY TO CALL HER, SHE DOESNT ANSWER HER PHONE OR TEXTS!" "Don't y'all live togeth-" *car flies through a red light* "Aye bro just clam down. Don't do anything rash." "RASH? THE BITCH GAVE ME AN STD TOO! AN UNCURABLE ONE AT THAT!" "Holup what-" "AND THE PRICE FOR THE MEDICINE IS FUCKING INSANE BRO! I SHOULD JUST FUCKING END IT ALL RIGHT NOW, HUH?!" *car swerves into oncoming traffic* "AYE BRO CHILLLLLL!" *I grab the steering wheel* *goes back into the correct lane* *friend is crying now* *I pull over somehow* "Just let me drive, bruh." *switches seats and continues driving* "I loved her man. I really did. How could she do this to me." "Well, considering she's your sist-" "All the time I've spent with her, gone to waste." "Look man-" "I dont need your sympathy right now." "I'm not giving you sympathy dickhead you almost killed me-" "From now on, I'm gay." "Wait, what the fuck did you just say?" *puts his hand on my thigh* "You don't want to do this." "I've been eyeing you for a long ass time, bro. I fantasize about you all day. I can see our kids faces now..." "WE ARE BOTH DUDES. WE CANT GET PREGNANT!" "You're so close minded, I like that." *licks my ear* *thoughts of suicide fill my head* "DUDE STOP TOUCHING ME!" *car honks at us* "SORRY! HEY, DONT TOUCH ME THERE BRO I SWEAR TO GOD!" *goes for my zipper* *karate chops his neck but no effect* *zipper opens* *contemplates options* *sees bridge approaching* *favorite song is Stan* "ID RATHER DIE THEN HAVE MY MEAT SUCKED!" *swerves into the bridge barrier and flies off into the water* "AH!" *wakes up from nightmare in a cold sweat* *sees someone laying on top of me* *my dick is out* *squints* "Uncle?" *person dashes out of the room*: When you see a nigga running across the street yelling, "BOONK GANG!" 290 km/h 니OO @typicalterome 40 Dumbass 💀 - *gets in car with friend* "Wassup bro." "..." *he puts car in drive* "Aye you good?" "She broke up with me." *instantly regrets getting in car* "Aye man it's not that serio-" "10 YEARS!!! 10 YEARS WE WERE DATING. AND THEN WHEN I PROPOSED TO HER-" "You PROPOSED?" "-SHE SAID 'Were like brother and sister.' LIKE WHAT THE FUCK BRO?" "That cause you are brother and sis-" "AND WHEN I TRY TO CALL HER, SHE DOESNT ANSWER HER PHONE OR TEXTS!" "Don't y'all live togeth-" *car flies through a red light* "Aye bro just clam down. Don't do anything rash." "RASH? THE BITCH GAVE ME AN STD TOO! AN UNCURABLE ONE AT THAT!" "Holup what-" "AND THE PRICE FOR THE MEDICINE IS FUCKING INSANE BRO! I SHOULD JUST FUCKING END IT ALL RIGHT NOW, HUH?!" *car swerves into oncoming traffic* "AYE BRO CHILLLLLL!" *I grab the steering wheel* *goes back into the correct lane* *friend is crying now* *I pull over somehow* "Just let me drive, bruh." *switches seats and continues driving* "I loved her man. I really did. How could she do this to me." "Well, considering she's your sist-" "All the time I've spent with her, gone to waste." "Look man-" "I dont need your sympathy right now." "I'm not giving you sympathy dickhead you almost killed me-" "From now on, I'm gay." "Wait, what the fuck did you just say?" *puts his hand on my thigh* "You don't want to do this." "I've been eyeing you for a long ass time, bro. I fantasize about you all day. I can see our kids faces now..." "WE ARE BOTH DUDES. WE CANT GET PREGNANT!" "You're so close minded, I like that." *licks my ear* *thoughts of suicide fill my head* "DUDE STOP TOUCHING ME!" *car honks at us* "SORRY! HEY, DONT TOUCH ME THERE BRO I SWEAR TO GOD!" *goes for my zipper* *karate chops his neck but no effect* *zipper opens* *contemplates options* *sees bridge approaching* *favorite song is Stan* "ID RATHER DIE THEN HAVE MY MEAT SUCKED!" *swerves into the bridge barrier and flies off into the water* "AH!" *wakes up from nightmare in a cold sweat* *sees someone laying on top of me* *my dick is out* *squints* "Uncle?" *person dashes out of the room*
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"Damn, I really aint tryna go to math" "Why?" "I have an essay today." "Forreal? That sucks." "Yea that's not even the worst part." "It's not?" "Mr. Goff is the sub." "JACK GOFF?" "Yup." "Isn't that the dude that got arrested for touching you a year ago?" "Yup, my buttocks are on lockdown mode." "How did he get out of jail so early?" "The government is too busy locking up people for drugs, so they're releasing "less offensive" criminals early. Welp, here it is." "Good luck on your essay babe." "Ah Goodmorning Daniel." "Morning Mr. Goff. Where is everyone?" "Seems you're a little early." "But Im always late..." "Oh?" "Plus its been 5 minutes since the bell... Hey, why are you locking the door?" "Hm? I always do this?" "Hell nah somethings fishy." "Is it Mr. Cole?" "What are you doing? Don't come near me!" "Dont be scared Mr. Cole, it wont hurt a bit." "DON'T FUCKIN TOUCH ME OLD MAN! AHHHHH-" "HEY! What's going on in here? WHAT THE FUCK? Why are you naked Mr. Goff?" "Mrs. G! Mr. Goff tried to-" "It was this horrible student Miss. He tried to fondle me." "WHAT?!" "Is that true Daniel?" "Of course not-" "Indeed it is true. I tried to stop him but you see, I am only an old man." "Daniel, come with me, we're calling your parents." "WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING." I woke up in a cold sweat and was panting like a dog. "Something wrong baby?" "No dad, and can you not have an erection if you're gonna spoon me? Kinda gay.": When a black person gives you the nigga pass" GOOD RELATIONS WITH THE WOOKIEES, I HAVE "Damn, I really aint tryna go to math" "Why?" "I have an essay today." "Forreal? That sucks." "Yea that's not even the worst part." "It's not?" "Mr. Goff is the sub." "JACK GOFF?" "Yup." "Isn't that the dude that got arrested for touching you a year ago?" "Yup, my buttocks are on lockdown mode." "How did he get out of jail so early?" "The government is too busy locking up people for drugs, so they're releasing "less offensive" criminals early. Welp, here it is." "Good luck on your essay babe." "Ah Goodmorning Daniel." "Morning Mr. Goff. Where is everyone?" "Seems you're a little early." "But Im always late..." "Oh?" "Plus its been 5 minutes since the bell... Hey, why are you locking the door?" "Hm? I always do this?" "Hell nah somethings fishy." "Is it Mr. Cole?" "What are you doing? Don't come near me!" "Dont be scared Mr. Cole, it wont hurt a bit." "DON'T FUCKIN TOUCH ME OLD MAN! AHHHHH-" "HEY! What's going on in here? WHAT THE FUCK? Why are you naked Mr. Goff?" "Mrs. G! Mr. Goff tried to-" "It was this horrible student Miss. He tried to fondle me." "WHAT?!" "Is that true Daniel?" "Of course not-" "Indeed it is true. I tried to stop him but you see, I am only an old man." "Daniel, come with me, we're calling your parents." "WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING." I woke up in a cold sweat and was panting like a dog. "Something wrong baby?" "No dad, and can you not have an erection if you're gonna spoon me? Kinda gay."
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