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Bored, Confused, and Crush: biggest-gaudiest-patronuses In 5th grade some boys hid my desk in the boys bathroom. I was confused when I got to school and it was missing, so I just sat on the floor and read my book until the teacher came in and made them put it back I realize now they were trying to trick me into go into the boys bathroom, but no one actually told me that's where my desk was, and it didn't occur to me to ask Looking back I realize they had to make the effort to get to school early to move it, and I feel a tiny bit of regret for not reacting more. -biggest-gaudiest-patronuses In 3rd grade Richard brought his new lacrosse set in for show in tell. the ball went missing during class time and at the end of the day we all had to check our bookbags to look for it. I only glanced in mine (I just wanted to go home), but that evening I found it at the bottom of my bag. I was so scared of being blamed, I threw it into the neighbor's yard and never told anyone. I found out 2 years later that my bully Luke put it there to frame me, and he was still extremely frustrated I hadn't gotten caught. I'm pretty sure Richard got a new ball. feral-renaissance-cat I had a crush on a boy I met in Kindergarten and made NO attempts to hide it because the people on TV were always telling each other when they liked each other. Didn't work as well as I'd hope (i.e. didn't work AT ALL and no boy wanted to hang out with me ever after that), but that's not the point. Skip ahead to third grade. We had a new kid who was kind of a jerk. One day he asks me if I havea crush and I'm like, "Yeah, [Crush]. And?" Dude turns around and yells to my crush "Hey! She has a crush on you My crush just kinda sighs and is like, "Yeah. I know. Everyone knows. Thanks." So this guy was hoping to embarrass me in front of everyone but it completely backfired because I lack the social filter necessary to feel ashamed of my base desires. darkhumourandfandoms One time in like kindergerden some kid stole my shoe and instead if reacting I just went the whole day barefoot. No one questioned it. He got bored of no reaction and just dropped the shoe but by then I was too committed and continued to walk around barefoot. lycant-guy22 Some of yall grew up with a low base stat of "fucks given" The Zero Fucks Given crowd
Bored, Confused, and Crush: biggest-gaudiest-patronuses In 5th grade some boys hid my desk in the boys bathroom. I was confused when I got to school and it was missing, so I just sat on the floor and read my book until the teacher came in and made them put it back. I realize now they were trying to trick me into go into the boys bathroom, but no one actually told me that's where my desk was, and it didn't occur to me to ask Looking back I realize they had to make the effort to get to school early to move it, and l feel a tiny bit of regret for not reacting more biggest-gaudiest-patronuse:s In 3rd grade Richard brought his new lacrosse set in for show in tell. the ball went missing during class time and at the end of the day we all had to check our bookbags to look for it. I only glanced in mine (I just wanted to go home), but that evening I found it at the bottom of my bag. I was so scared of being blamed, I threw it into the neighbor's yard and never told anyone I found out 2 years later that my bully Luke put it there to frame me, and he was still extremely frustrated I hadn't gotten caught I'm pretty sure Richard got a new ball. feral-renaissance-cat I had a crush on a boy I met in Kindergarten and made NO attempts to hide it because the people on TV were always telling each other when they liked each other. Didn't work as well as I'd hope (i.e. didn't work AT ALL and no boy wanted to hang out with me ever after that) but that's not the point Skip ahead to third grade. We had a new kid who was kind of a jerk. One day he asks me if I have a crush and I'm like, "Yeah, [Crush] And?" Dude turns around and yells to my crush "Hey! She has a crush on you!" My crush just kinda sighs and is like, "Yeah. I know. Everyone knows. Thanks." So this guy was hoping to embarrass me in front of everyone but it completely backfired because I lack the social filter necessary to feel ashamed of my base desires darkhumourandfandoms One time in like kindergerden some kid stole my shoe and instead if reacting I just went the whole day barefoot. No one questioned it. He got bored of no reaction and just dropped the shoe but by then I was too committed and continued to walk around barefoot lycant-guy22 Some of yall grew up with a low base stat of "fucks given" biggest-gaudiest-patronuses damn right we did Source: biggest-gaudiest-patronuses No fucks given
Beautiful, Life, and School: flowersinbonecages: 19 delete edit You're pathetic. Please kill yourself Anonymous The other day I was very seriously contemplating suicide. Had I received a message like this then, I legitimately believe I would have attempted to take my own life. Unfortunately for you, two days ago a littie boy saved me. I didn't even know him -yet as we passed each other he said I was beautiful and deserved to live. Just like that. As tumbir becomes more populated, the amount of times I see hate on my dash is becoming more frequent. Often after my initial fury at seeing the cruel message dies down, I wonder what it is in the anonymous' life that has made them so bitter, heartless and cold, that they feel compelled to tell someone that they are not beautiful or are undeserving of life. I have failed to think of anything. I can find no reasons for such inhumanity. 3 weeks ago, a 13 year old girl from my town committed suicide because she was being bullied. The amount of people it affected is astounding. Her father is going to walk her down the aisle in a coffin as oppose to a beautiful white wedding dress. He's probably going to cry himself to sleep tonight like he has done since she she died. He still remembers holding her the day she was born and promising to protect her no matter what. Her mum is never going to teach her how to put her new born baby to sleep. She is never going to have a first kiss. Have sex. Travel the world. Feel the rush of relief when she finishes her final exam. Turn eighteen. Have a baby. Feel anxious when her child goes to school for the first time. Someone murdered her with their words. Someone like you. I'm naive to think you will never send hate again, but please learn two things from my response. 1. t takes a few kind words to save someones life. 2. It takes a few cruel words to take someones life. VIA THEMETAPICTURE.COM epicjohndoe: Such A Beautiful Thought

epicjohndoe: Such A Beautiful Thought

Advice, Confused, and Disappointed: alexaloraetheris: Reasons I believe my friend is secretly some kind of deity 1) First time we spoke was a week after the beggining of freshman year she summed up my entire character and most of the events of my life Sherlock style. I asked her how the hell she knew all that. She just shrugged and said she figured out our entire class already 1 2) The one time we had religion class instead of ethics she listened to the teacher for a few minutes, laughed and told me "Humans have wished to be gods so much they've forgotten they have to ability to create them. Imagination has truly suffered from this monotheism stuff." I was confused and asked her if she was an atheist. She rolled her eyes and said Oh I believe in god alright. I just don't think the bastard deserves to be worshipped." 3) Out of nowhere she gave me this advice The only truth a liar ever told was that lies weren't going to save you. Don't become the liar who has to pass that wisdom on, because they speak from experience 4) To this day, she has one of those old-timey phones with buttons she only uses to ocassionally call someone. When I asked her why she never got a smartphone she got pouty: "I hate social media. On Facebook they talk a lot but never say anything. If I wanted to listen to people moan about their problems and ask for help they don't expect l'd listen to their prayers." (Notice the choice of words) 5) I noticed she was stiff and I offered her a massage since I'm really good at it but when i started kneading her back I swear to this day those were not muscles I felt. I asked her what she did to turn her muscles into rocks covered with a thin layer of skin and she kinda froze then shrugged and said she was just really, really stiff. My hands hurt after ten minutes when I can usually go for an hour. Next time I offered she seemed surprised and laughed. She still has rocks for muscles 6) We were having a debate over the way neural pathways are formed (I study biology and she forensics) and I jokingly asked if I could have her brain for study when she dies. She laughed Sure, if you find a way to kill me you can have it. I'm actually curious what you're gonna find." 7) One time she was tired and miserable and I tried to comfort her. We both have really dark sense of humor so I told her she could scare the dead out of their graves with that glare. She told me the dead can't come back and I rolled my eyes and said 'obviously' but she continued When you die you descend to the underworld with nothing to lose. To keep you, they give you something to lose. When you want to return, they will demand it back. That's why nobody ever leaves. The only way out is to never enter." 8) One day she just came up to me with a disappointed look on her face When I asked her what was wrong she was quiet for a few seconds and then just told me "Betrayals committed in good intentions are still damning. Just... keep that in mind." Then she left and didn't speak to me for three days. I still don't know what she meant but even three years later I haven't forgotten it. 9) We were casually sitting on a bench when, out of nowhere, she asked me Is it just me or have humans gotten dumber? Or have they always been this stupid and I just haven't been paying attention?" 10) She asked me if I ever wondered what it was like to die. I said no but told her I would tell her when I found out. I meant it as a ghost joke but she smiled at me and said Great. I'll wait for you to come back. Maybe you'll even remember me In conclusion, she is some kind of low-key god and she lost her faith in humanity even before we lost our faith in her but she's stuck with us because immortality is a bitclh P.S. I just remembered her name is a variation on 'Eve'. Maybe l should reconsider my atheist status?! What if God was one of us?
Batman, God, and Huh: feynites Seeing John Mulaney do his 'Robot Test bit has given me a strong desire to see him play a live action Riddler. But not like, as any character other than John Mulaney? Like, let's make a John Mulaney version of Edward Nigma. Just this socially awkward disaster man who somehow becomes a supervillain because of a misunderstanding he couldn't correct without seeming rude. And now supposedly he's committed to killing Batman but he doesn't actually want to be the cause of a mans death so he just obfuscates things with 'clues' and 'riddles' and 'battles of wits' until Batman inevitably defeats him and he's just like 'oh thank god please don't hit me Batman's like 'you need help Nigma' and he's just like 'yeah that's fair, I should probably look into seeing somebody at this point, I became a supervillain because of social anxiety and that might just be a red flag you know?" arkhamkjay @mrsmosby-wannabe only-ten-percent-clever "Hey, Batman, think you've seen everything, huh? Well, figure out how to deal with this! You know Gotham General Hospital? Yeah? Well you'll never guess what I let loose in there!" feynites "Riddle me this, what has four hooves and presents a massive health and safety violation?" siraranispleased "l see you there, Batman. And I also don't want me to be doing what I'm doing." Source: feynites 90'71 4 notes > ;tiis Im glad there exists a comedian who so perfectly fits tumblrs sense of humor

Im glad there exists a comedian who so perfectly fits tumblrs sense of humor