Commoner
Commoner

Commoner

no
 no

no

were
were

were

phrase
phrase

phrase

sexs
sexs

sexs

courtesy
courtesy

courtesy

owned
owned

owned

useful
useful

useful

black money
black money

black money

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soldier

soldier

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America, Bad, and Be Like: Lou Ohio I need to get my life off my chest. About me. I'm a 46 year old banker and I have been living my whole life the opposite of how I wanted. All my dreams, my passion, gone. In a steady 9-7 job. 6 days a week. For 26 years. I repeatedly chose the safe path for everything, which eventually changed who I was. Today I found out my wife has been cheating on me for the last 10 years. My son feels nothing for me. I realised I missed my father's funeral FOR NOTHING. I didn't complete my novel, travelling the world, helping the homeless. All these things I thought I knew to be a certainty about myself when i was in my late teens and early twenties. If my younger self had met me today, I would have punched myself in the face. I'll get to how those dreams were crushed soon. Let's start with a description of me when I was 20. It seemed only yesterday when I was sure I was going to change the world. People loved me, and I loved people. I was innovative, creative, spontaneous, risk taking and great with people. I had two dreams. The first, was writing a utopic/dystopic book. The second, was travelling the world and helping the poor and homeless. I had been dating my wife for four years by then. Young love. She loved my spontaneity, my energy, my ability to make people laugh and feel loved. I knew my book was going to change the world I would show the perspective of the 'bad' and the twisted', showing my viewers that everybody thinks differently, that people never think what the do is wrong. I was 70 pages through when i was 20.I am still 70 pages in, at 46. By 20, I had backpacking around New Zealand and the Philippines. I planned to do all of Asia, then Europe, then America To date, I have only been to New Zealand and the Philippines. Now, we get to where it all went wrong. My biggest regrets. I was 20. I was the only child. I needed to be stable. I needed to take that graduate job, which would dictate my whole life. To devote my entire life in a 9-7 job. What was I thinking? How could I live when the job was my life? After coming home, I would eat dinner, prepare my work for the following day, and sleep at 10pm, to wake up at 6am the following day God, I can't remember the last time I've made love to my wife Yesterday, my wife admitted to cheating on me for the last 10 years. 10 years. That seems like a long time, but i can't comprehend it. It doesn't even hurt. She says it's because I've changed. I'm not the person l was. What have I been doing in the last 10 years? Outside of work, I really can't say anything. Not being a proper husband. Not being ME. Who am 1? What happened to me? I didn't even ask for a divorce, or yell at her, or cry. I felt NOTHING. Now I can feel a tear asl write this. But not because my wife has been cheating on me, but because I am now realising I have been dying inside. What happened to that fun-loving, risk taking, energetic person that was me, hungering to change the world? I remember being asked on a date by the most popular girl in the school, but declining her for my now-wife. God, I was really popular with the girls in high school. In university/college too. But i stayed loyal. I didn't explore. I studied every day Remember all that backpacking and book-writingI told you about? That was all in the first few years of college. I worked part-time and splurged all that I had earned. Now, I save every penny. I don't remember a time I spend anything on anything fun. On anything for myself. What do I even want now? My father passed ten years ago. I remember getting calls from mom, telling me he was getting sicker and sicker. I was getting busier and busier, on the verge of a big promotion. I kept putting my visit off, hoping in my mind he would hold on. He died, and I got my promotion. I haven't seen him in 15 years. When he died, I told myself it didn't matter what I didn't see him. I rationalized that being dead, it wouldn't matter anyway. WHAT WAS I THINKING? Rationalizing everything, making excuses to put things off. Excuses Procrastination. It all leads to one thing, nothing. I rationalized that financial security was the most important thingInow know, that it definitely is not. I regret doing nothing with my energy, when I had it. My passions. My youth. I regret letting my job take over my life. I regret being an awful husband, a money- making machine. I regret not finishing my novel, not travelling the world. Not being emotionally there for my son. Being a damn emotionless wallet. If you're reading this, and you have a whole life ahead of you, please. Don't procrastinate. Don't leave your dreams for later. Relish in your energy, your passions. Don't stay on the internet with all your spare time (unless your passion needs it). Please, do something with your life while you're young. DO NOT settle down at 20. DO NOT forget your friends, your family Yourself. Do NOT waste your life. Your ambitions. Like I did mine. Do not be like me srsfunny: A Sad But Common Story

srsfunny: A Sad But Common Story

Beef, Elf, and News: Shakespeare Insult Kit To create a Shakespearean insult Combine one word from each of the three columns below, prefaced with "Thou" Column 1 Column 2 Column 3 artless ba beslubbering bootless churlish base-court bat-fowling beef-witted beetle-headed boil-brained clapper-clawed clay-brained common-kissing crook-pated dismal-dreaming dizzy-eyed doghearted dread-bolted earth-vexing elf-skinned fat-kidneyed en-sucked Elap-mouthed fly-bitten folly-fallen fool-born full-gorg baggage barnacle bladder bugbear bum-bailey canker-blossom clack-dish clotpole cox codpiece death-token craven currish dissembling errant awning tobbing froward frothy gleeking goatish gorbellied impertinent infectious arring loggerheaded lumpish manmering mang mewling paunchy pribbling puking CL flax-wench flirt-gill foot-licker fustilarian giglet ud haggard half-taced hasty-witted hedge-pig horn-beast hugger-mugger joithead lewdster idle-headed i11-breeding i1l-nurtured knotty-pated milk-livered motley-minded onion-eyed plume-plucked pottle-deep pox-marked reeling-ripe rough-hewn rude-growing maggot-pie malt-worm qualling rank ree measle minnow miscreant moldwarp mumble-news nut-hook pigeon-egg pignut puttock pumpion ratsbane scut skainsmate ruttish saucy pleeny tottering UnMUzzLed shard-borne sheep-biting spur-galled swag-bellied tardy-gaited tickle-brained ve villainous wayward yeasty varlot vassa whey-face d-spotted unchin-snouted weather-bitten you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com epicjohndoe: Shakespeare Kit

epicjohndoe: Shakespeare Kit

Bored, Facebook, and Fuck You: 88% 9:31 AM rainnecassidy If you're old enough to remember it, you just lost The Game. raggedyanndy proncus I have no idea what's going on here witchaj Back in the early aughts, when many mil- lenials were in high school, before Facebook and Youtube, The Game began. No one knows who started it, but the moment we learned we were playing it, we began to lose. The goal of The Game is to forget you are playing The Game for as long as possible. The rules The Game are as follows: Everyone is ays playing The Game all the time; at school, during breakfast, at night when you are asleep, etc. The Game never ends. The moment you remember that you are playing The Game, you lose and must immediately announce to those around you, "I just lost The Game!" thus making them remember they are also playing The Game and causing them to lose as well. Upon losing, you begin The Game again. Sometimes players could go weeks or months without losing, sometimes only minutes. At the height of The Game's popularity, it became common to see people at events such as Comic Con or midnight movie premieres, wearing t-shirts proclaiming You just lost The Game!" Once they were noticed, groans and shouts of "Fuck you!" could be heard for miles. These people rived on the chaos, taking great pleasure in the cries of their victims. Most people eventually grew bored of The Game, and many began to claim they won by choosing not to care about it anymore. Some rely on a particular XKCD comic strip or Tumblr post to lend a sense of legitimacy to their feeli of victory. They are fools. It is impossible to win The Game. There is only losing. Only a few diehards remain loyal to the rules. The drop in popularity has allowed many to keep m losing The Game for years at a time. The growth of social media has caused a minor resurgence, although without the satisfaction of real time auditory feedback when caus others to lose, The Game will likely fade back into obscurity once again. Someday whern we are old and gray, our grandchildren will innocently ask us to play a game of checkers, and we will shriek and shout until the whole nursing home joins us in defeat. Death is the only release from The Game Source: rainnecassidy #101 #goshi remember this #but also Is this loss?
Animals, Desperate, and Dogs: sistercrow stormcloak Cilford the Big Red Dog by Sandara OH MY GOD Can we have a Clifford live action movie? Not a kids movie either Like, Emily Elizabeth's parents are working for a government agency developing a super soldier serum. None of their testing is working and they start testing the serum on larger mammals in hopes of seeing better results. They inject a variety of animals, including a dog Nothing. They are desperate and on the verge of having their project shut down when they notice one of the test dogs is pregnant. It gives birth and they bring one of the puppies home for their daughter To their shock, the puppy they brought home starts to grow at an incredible rate, its fur mutating into a brilliant red as it does so. They are ecstatic because their research has finally seen a result, albeit one they weren't expecting. There is only one problem Clifford has become attached to Emily and refuses to leave her side Emily, too, has fallen in love with her new pet. They decide to let their project be canceled rather than try to separate the two. Unfortunately the government discovers their secret and begins a campaign to retrieve Clifford at any costs. During the initial conflict, Emily Elizabeth's parents are killed trying to help her and Clifford escape Emily and her dog flee into the wild. This sets the opening of the movie Over the course of the movie, Emily and Clifford are on the run and we see Emily grow into a young woman, everything about her honed into a survivalist expert. She and Clifford roam the backwoods constantly in fear of being captured. On one of her rare trips into towrn one day, Emily witnesses a bank robbery in progress involving multiple hostages. She calls Clifford and the two of them save the lives of the hostages but wreck the bank in the process. The local news capture footage of Clifford and it isn't long before the military arrives in town Emily wants to just run away again, but she sees that the military is destroying the town, driving people out of their homes and destroying property in their search. She decides that enough is enough and rides Clifford back into town and fights the military. Amidst the fighting a huge truck arrives. A general (who was her parent's superior officer) gets out and smirks. He tells Emily Elizabeth that Clifford's mother wasn't the only animal that gave birth to a litter of babies after receiving an injection. The back of the truck unfolds to reveal a massive tabby cat. The cat strains against its bindings and tears free immediately leaping onto a nearby group of soldiers and devouring them. Emily is horrified and orders Clifford to attack What follows is the dramatic battle between Clifford and the mutant cat. Clifford has strength, but the cat is too fast and agile. It looks like Clifford is down for the count, when the townsfolk, recognizing that Clifford is on their side, come to his aid. They distract the cat long enough for him to finish the beast off for good The military retreats, the general swearing vengeance on the two of them, and Emily and Clifford ride off into the night once more. But the legend of the big red dog has already started. And Emily Elizabeth knows that the day will come when she and Clifford will need to ride into battle against the forces of evil once more The credits roll Post credits, the screen fades to black for a moment. The sound of waves crashing on shore fills the air. The screen flashes brilliant white The light of the lighthouse moves on, revealing a rocky shore on a rainy day. The camera pans down to find Clifford and Emily gazing out to sea. A massive object hangs in the air off the coast, obscured in the clouds. A smaller object rapidly approaches them. It resolves itseltf into an advanced helicopter that silently lands just down the shore from them. Clifford lets out a low growl but Emily quiets him with a hand on his leg. A lone figure emerges from the aircraft, huddling his arms around himself to fight off the cold He approaches the two. His hair is short and somewhat curly. He wears glasses and a grey flannel shirt and seems unlikely to pose a threat to the two "Emily Elizabeth," he says over the sound of the crashing surf, "I worked with your parents. It's taken us a while to find you, after the Birdwell Island incident." "And who exactly is 'us'," she responds, eyes narrowing suspiciously. gnoring her question, the man continues. "Me and Clifford have a lot in common, actually. He smiles a little awkwardly, then presses on. "I was hoping you might be interested in meeting my boss. He's fairly excited to talk with you. You still haven't answered my question. Who are you and who do you work for?" The man smiles. "My name is Banner. And I'm hear to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative. mo re Fun on likealaugh.org I Would Watch It

I Would Watch It

Common, Free, and Hair: 35 x 12 On the left, Common Core. On the right, regular math and lots of free time.

On the left, Common Core. On the right, regular math and lots of free time.