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Beautiful, Comfortable, and Energy: "TMI!" INTENSE!" "TOO EMOTIONAL!" OVER SHARING AND BP D TEXTSFROMTHEBORDERLINE.TUMBLR.COM WHAT IS IT? TEXTSFROMTHEBORDERLINE.TUMBLR.COM THE PROCESS People with BPD are emotionally intense, emotionally sensitive, and emotionally intelligent We need to feel like our thoughts, feelings, and experiences are received (and hopefully, reciprocated!) Oversharing is the process of us revealing these things in extreme detail, about every possible topic, in a effort to demonstrate the intricacies and depths of our inner processes e want you to understand + appreciate us WHY IT HAPPENS If we're (over)sharing anything with you, it means you make us feel comfortable, safe, loved+accepted. We are free to be ourselves, and we want you to know that! It's our attempt at building intimacy, trust, and care POSITIVE OUTCOMES Helps develop clear+strong communicat ion skills. Honestly conveys what's on our minod Can nurture amazingly close, fulfilling relationships. DIFFICULTIES The other person may feel overwhelmed Oversharing is not a substitute for healthy intimacy Can unintentionally disregard boundaries THINGS TO WORK ON Communicating with the appropriate time, place, and person; it's good to share, just make sure it's okay! It doesn't have to be an outburst; take your time. Be patient; give the other person time to respond SHARING +CARING HEALTHY INTIMACY Intimacy involves feelings of emotional closeness and connectedness with another person, along with the desire to share each other's innermost thoughts and feelings. There are different types of intimacy: emotional, intellectual, physical (sexual), experiential, and spiritual. Oversharing can encompass all five, but most commonly it involves emotional + intellectual ed A healthy level of intimacy is achieved when both the communicator and the receiver feel safe +comfortable to voice their inner processes, when they are respected + encouraged to do so, and when there is active listening, empathy (cognitive, at the very least) and enuine interest involved HEART TO HEART Having a discussion that is meaningful can leave you both feeling closer than ever before. You can build appreciation of each other's emotional life, interests, goals, fears, sorrows, and victories. Beautiful moments happen when they are free, spontaneous, and motivated by care instead of pressure. The exchange of energy+ perspectives can help Borderlines lessen anxiousness, fear of abandonment, feeling like they are a burden + help them learn how to communicate better OVERSHARING IS REALLY ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY, NOT ABOUT BOTTLING YOURSELF UP AND THEN EXPLODING TEXTSFROMTHEBORDERLINE.TUMBLR.COM
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Beautiful, Bored, and Head: Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: The professor told his class one day:Today we will ex- periment with a new form called the tandem story The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home- work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para- graph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another para- graph to the story and send it back, also sending an- other copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab- solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any- thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a con- clusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of (second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far.." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace- ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per- manently Abolishing War and Space Travel, Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news si multaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and care- free, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully (Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec- onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em- pires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en- tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin- Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" Arsehole. (Gary) B'tch. F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI! Gary) In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. (TEACHER) A+ I really liked this one. I wish I had a teacher like him
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