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A Dream, Click, and Fake: Do you want to know something that people don't tell you about being married for a long time? You actually do run out of things to talk about I know you might think I am kidding, but I am being a million percent truthsies over here. As a child, I always wondered what married people talked about, and was assured by many a family member that there were always things to discuss This is a lie. A big, fat one. It's really unfortunate that no one was truthful with me, because here I am with nothing to say and completely unprepared on how to deal. My husband and I go on a weekly date night and after I go into detail about my wild day working from home (I ate a Lean Cuisine, I answered three emails, I found a dollar in the wash), I have nothing. The other day I started to tell my husband about this super interesting thing that had happened, but then I was like, "oh never mind, I'm saving that for our date tonight" and he's like "um, WHAT?" and I was like, "well, when I've got something good I save it for date night so I have something to talk about. It seems like such a waste to spend it on a regular day. So then he thought that was one of the weirdest things he's ever heard about, which I assumed maybe HE already did that too? But he was like, "No, people do not do that." It's like I don't know how to be a person the right way sometimes. Every now and again my husband will ask "did you bake anything today, hon?" and ifI made Créme Bruleé Brownies I say "nope" because I'm hiding them and don't want to share. These fudgy little bites of bliss are covered in a thick vanilla custard that slices up like a dream. A sprinkling of sugar and a run under the broiler gets that caramelized, crackly top. Basically, these are perfect and you need them right now. That is all benepla: kramergate: I love it when I click on a recipe link because it sounds yummy and instead of a recipe I get a several page dissertation on a food blogger’s boredom with her marriage and lies she was told in childhood this ending in a recipe literally changed my fucking life i thought i was being spread some fucking truisms abt the ugliness of marriage but it was literally a preamble to creme brulee brownies. writing is fake
El Chapo, Joaquín Guzmán, and Memes: ELCHAPO MISTRESS FLIPS ON HIM IN COURT, EXPOSES SECRETS OF HIS NAKED ESCAPE THROUGH MEXICAN SEWER AS WIFE LISTENS @Fap El Chapo’s mistress testified against him in court and spoke about the time El Chapo escaped from the authorities using an underground sewer tunnel.⁣⁣ -⁣⁣ The mistress stated that she was in bed with Chapo at 3AM on Feb. 16, 2014, when she was suddenly woken up by loud noises,⁣⁣ -⁣⁣ “I heard, like, a lot of thumps and helicopters. I heard yelling,” she recalled. Which was a U.S team and Mexican forces trying to break in the house.⁣⁣ -⁣⁣ “They’re on us! They’re on us!” Chapo’s associate Carlos Manuel (Condor) Hoo Ramirez yelled as Chapo, whose real name is Joaquín Guzmán Loera, started running around in a panic, Sánchez said.⁣⁣ - -⁣ ⁣ She also stated that Chapo was completely naked through all of this,⁣ ⁣ “There was like a lid on the bathtub that came up,” Sánchez testified. “I was like, ‘Do I have to go in there?…The entire tub was hollow underneath…It had a kind of a hydraulic (lift) — they call it a piston.”⁣ ⁣ “The first thing I saw was wooden steps,” she said. “I heard (Chapo) say to Condor, ‘Close up the tub.’”⁣ -⁣ Sánchez said “complete darkness” swallowed them once the hatch was closed.⁣ ⁣ “For me, it was horrible because I had never been in a place like that. It was a humid place with mud,” she told the jury.⁣ -⁣ RapTVSTAFF: @thatkidcm

El Chapo’s mistress testified against him in court and spoke about the time El Chapo escaped from the authorities using an underground sewer...

Bailey Jay, Climbing, and Creepy: 4:00:56 4:01:40 4:01:26 4:02:14 4:02:51 Sitting and Smiling #218 19,974 views 2 days ago Sitting and Smiling #217 19,961 views 4 days ago Sitting and Smiling #216 12,200 views 5 days ago Sitting and Smiling #215 12,609 views 6 days ago Sitting and Smiling #214 37,252 views 1 week ago 4:02:37 4:01:40 4:02:32 4:02:41 4:02:16 Sitting and Smiling #213 30,742 views 2 weeks ago Sitting and Smiling #212 17,316 views 3 weeks ago Sitting and Smiling #211 18,850 views 3 weeks ago Sitting and Smiling #210 19,544 views 3 weeks ago Sitting and Smiling #209 35,082 views 1 month ago 4:01:55 4:01:31 4:01:11 4:02:42 4:03:56 Sitting and Smiling #208 25,193 views 1 month ago Sitting and Smiling #207 88,097 views 1 month ago Sitting and Smiling #206 20,924 views 1 month ago Sitting and Smiling #205 17,728 views 1 month ago Sitting and Smiling #204 36,343 views 1 month ago thefingerfuckingfemalefury: phoneus: every1one: moonlandingwasfaked: jasper-rolls: today in “youtube’s recommendation algorithm completely misunderstands what i’m interested in”: i am recommended a channel consisting entirely of livestreams of a creepy dude sitting in a corner and just staring at the camera for 4 hours, 3 times a week a robber broke into his house and he didn’t stop recording and the robber got so creeped out he left. the video is on his YouTube somewhere https://youtu.be/tmrXakd_r6I?t=9391 here “This episode of Sitting and Smiling features a very special guest.About 2.5 hours into the webcast, I hear someone come into thehouse, which is odd, because my only housemate is at work, and we aren’t expecting anyone. I realize I didn’t check to see if the doors were locked before starting the webcast. I hear the person stealthily moving around the house, and then I hear them stealthily climbing the stairs, towards my room. My door opens, and I hear an unfamiliar malevoice say “Hello?”. Then, after presumably seeing me sitting still and smiling in front of a camera, lit from beneath by a florescent bulb, he promptly descends the stairs and exits the house. You can see this happen at 2:36:30 As it turns out, the doors were locked, and he had broken one open. We found nothing missing, as there is not really anything of value in the house other than the laptop I was using to webcast.“ I’m howling The robber legitimately thinks they just walked into a creepypasta and they made the wise choice of getting the hell out of there
Ass, Fall, and Hail Mary: I almost died today. Here is the true story So Iwas derping in my backyard today, picking up dog crap. The whole time, my dog was just sitting there watching me, enjoying the sight. So I go to the small section in between my trampoline and my fence. Now if any of you haven't seen my trampoline, it is really old and there are these black foam things on the bars that used to hold up a net, but they are mostly destroyed now. So I walk in the narrow space, and I get completely covered by the hugest web I've ever felt. All over my face, all over my chest and shoulders. I freak out, but I realize that there is no worries. I see no spider, and it would have to be a big ass spider to concoct such a glorious web. Well, sure enough, in the middle of my struggle to break free, I look up, and slowly, ever so slowly, I see the huge, black-brown mass of a spider about the size of my fist crawl out of some old, decaying foam protectors. I stare at it; it stares back. I look closely for any threads connecting us, and there, glinting back at me with sunlight, is one strand of spider web, connecting the hulk spider to my face. It realizes the fact at the same time as me, and thinks, "Yes! This boy's eye sockets will make excellent breeding holes for my eggs!! and starts a full on crawling sprint towards me. I freak out, and begin to struggle even more and more to release myself from this web. It reaches the halfway mark and sees me begin to escape, so it goes for gold. The Hail Mary play. A daring leap straight for the head. Time slows down. This thing has all legs extended, blocking out the sun. A sure death for me. My left arm breaks free from the web. This could be my chance! A quick and decisive left cross reaches the spider JUST in time knocking the behemoth against the fence. It looks dazed; begins to squirm around on the ground, preparing for a counteroffensive. I don't give it a chance. I take the poop shovel in both my hands, shout a battle cry of pure victorious slaughter and smash my enemy into a crumpled pile, each strike emanating a loud crunch of the monster's body.I emerge the survivor in this battle. Thank you video games, for my improved reaction time, lest I fall victim to fate Unlike Comment Share 3 hours ago you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com epicjohndoe: This Man Should Write A Novel
Family, Life, and Parents: The Anxiety Chart' Made to Help Others Understand My Anxiety MIGHTY The Anxiety Level 0 Anxiety Level 5 Life is good. Nothing to stress about. I can handle anything life throws my way." "What the hell am I going to do? Imagine totalling your car, messing up your big presentation at work or failing How average people start their day. your final exams at school. Anxiety Level 1 "Just a little hiccup. Nothing I can't handle. Anxiety Level 6 "This is all too much to handle! Akin to misplacing your sunglasses or the remote. Easily resolved Imagine losing your job, failing the big test AND totalling your car all in the same day Anxiety Level 7 Anxiety Level 2 Oh c'mon.. where the heck are they "I can't take anymore.." This is NOT a good time! Similar to misplacing your keys whe Anxiety Level 3 Imagine having all of that happen, then coming home to discover your basement flooded and your family pet died. you're running late for work. Anxiety Level 8 Where did that scratch come fromY Could anything else freakin go wrong?! Imagine finding a scratch or small ding on your new car. Imagine adding to that your identity was stolen, your bank account ciosed AND vour spouse left, taking the kids Anxiety Level 4 Anxiety Level 9 Silently rocking back and forth Imagine not being able to take anything shutting down completely What am I going to tell them? annImagine being the cause of a scratch or ding on your parents ts' new car.else and just wrapping in a blanket and car