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Af, Asian, and Aww: Anonymous 04/23/18 (Mon)22:57:12 No.766778676 Hey /b/romosexuals, story time > Be me, 17 year old 7/10 male Have an objectively 6, subjectively 8/10 asian gf who loves me 182 KB JPG Major trust issues from a relationship that went bad a while ago relationship friends since 13 Clingy af, probably still a result of that last We've known each other since we were 12, been Tell her I love her evervdav Despite her always replying that she loves me to, start doubting that Gf tells me after a lot of thinking, she's asexual Ohshitlmaydieavirgin Suddenly text my ex spontaneously, find out she's single Lie and say I'm single She asks to meet up for a coffee at Tims (I'm a Leaf) > I decide to go because I'm pissed at my gf Continue? Alright then go to the meet up with ex s my ex is just as beautiful as ever. She has shorter hair and small tits but thats sorta my thing She got me a coffee alread >It was the same type of coffee I drank when was with her on our first date (Double double) >She smiles, it looks cute on her > I ask her whats up, and she mentions my clearly visible erection I sat down faster than I lost my erection s We make small talk for a bit, we instantly have a spark > I havent felt this spark for a few years Eventually she says what both of us have been thinking "We should get back together." Idk what to say. Can't tell her I lied about being single at this point, but I also like her a lot more than my gf > Decide to keep it going "Sure, but I don't have a lot of free time with work. > I just lost my job > I give her the address to the apartment I'm in, which I don't actually pay for. My best bud does Invite her over one time She says "Why not tonight?" My gf hasn't text me and doesnt have a key, and my buddy is out of townm Sure, what could go wrong? Almost done the story /b/ois, cont.? > Take her back to the apartment > Time is a bit late. Ask her what she wants to do She immediately gives me a smile that could only mean one of two things, sex or something sexual > Before I can say anything she notices a picture have of me and my girlfriend on top of the shelf >"Who's this?" > I panic > My sister >She gets confused. My sister is asian? > "You never told me you had a sister, anon, andI met your family > Ohshit.jpg > I make up a story on the spot about my parents splitting and my dad remarrying. She's my stepsister. We broke up over a year ago. My parents fought once in front of her. Not too far fetched "Aww, anon. I'm so sorry." She says, basically jumping into my arms after putting the photo down Haven't even blown a load in at least a week >Boner is visible >She goes for it. I had forgotten that one of the main reasons we broke up was her sex drive and mine not matching up >Suddenly remember second was that she was a crazy bitch towards me sometimes > I just go with it and hope that I wont remember this in a month Best sex I ever had. (I bagged up tho. No worries sWe fall asleep in eachothers arms on my roommates bed crazv bitch towards me sometimes >I just go with it and hope that I wont remember this in a month Best sex I ever had. (I bagged up tho. No worries s We fall asleep in eachothers arms on my roommates bed Wake up to a banging on the door Groggily get up to find my ex making breakfast and my best friends gf at the door Wtf I yell through the door at her "What do you want?" (My best bud) left something and needed her to bring it to him > I open the door cautiously She sees my ex, and me half naked. She ofo knows about my af She asks to talk to me in private Takes me to the bedroom, locks the door and quietly asks me "Are you cheating or did you break I don't lie to her >She gets frustrated with me and leaves without my buds thing he needed "What was that?" My ex asks Now T don't remember exactly what I said at this point because I was scared shitless. My buds gf was for sure gonna tell mine and now things were gonna tumble down Cont? > "What was that anon?" >Ex js getting visibly annoyed and worried > She looks back at the photo of me and my "sister I look down at the floor My ex suddenly pieces something together right then and there >"ls she vour girlfriend?" > I fucking crumble and admit everything >She's surprisingly understanding, but just as understandably upset > ''You should call her No >"I need you to do this for me" I do > I explain the whole thing to her, sparing the sexual details > She sounds pretty heartbroken I try to console her but it doesnt work as well as l would have hoped She hangs up on me I'm in a puddle of tears sitting next to the first girl | ever loved > She hugs me awkwardly one last time > "I need one more thing from you > I look at her and wipe away some tears. "What?" > She smiles at me warmly and says "I need about tree fiddy I suddenly realised what I should have long ago My ex was about 8 stories tall and was a crustacean from the paleozoic era The god damn loch ness monster had tricked me again Anon is conflicted
Af, Asian, and Aww: Anonymous 04/23/18 (Mon)22:57:12 No.766778676
 Hey /b/romosexuals, story time
 > Be me, 17 year old 7/10 male
 Have an objectively 6,
 subjectively 8/10 asian gf who
 loves me
 182 KB JPG
 Major trust issues from a
 relationship that went bad a while ago
 relationship
 friends since 13
 Clingy af, probably still a result of that last
 We've known each other since we were 12, been
 Tell her I love her evervdav
 Despite her always replying that she loves me to,
 start doubting that
 Gf tells me after a lot of thinking, she's asexual
 Ohshitlmaydieavirgin
 Suddenly text my ex spontaneously, find out
 she's single
 Lie and say I'm single
 She asks to meet up for a coffee at Tims (I'm a
 Leaf)
 > I decide to go because I'm pissed at my gf
 Continue?

 Alright then
 go to the meet up with ex
 s my ex is just as beautiful as ever. She has
 shorter hair and small tits but thats sorta my thing
 She got me a coffee alread
 >It was the same type of coffee I drank when
 was with her on our first date (Double double)
 >She smiles, it looks cute on her
 > I ask her whats up, and she mentions my clearly
 visible erection
 I sat down faster than I lost my erection
 s We make small talk for a bit, we instantly have a
 spark
 > I havent felt this spark for a few years
 Eventually she says what both of us have been
 thinking
 "We should get back together."
 Idk what to say. Can't tell her I lied about being
 single at this point, but I also like her a lot more
 than my gf
 > Decide to keep it going
 "Sure, but I don't have a lot of free time with
 work.
 > I just lost my job
 > I give her the address to the apartment I'm in,
 which I don't actually pay for. My best bud does
 Invite her over one time
 She says "Why not tonight?"
 My gf hasn't text me and doesnt have a key, and
 my buddy is out of townm
 Sure, what could go wrong?
 Almost done the story /b/ois, cont.?

 > Take her back to the apartment
 > Time is a bit late. Ask her what she wants to do
 She immediately gives me a smile that could
 only mean one of two things, sex or something
 sexual
 > Before I can say anything she notices a picture
 have of me and my girlfriend on top of the shelf
 >"Who's this?"
 > I panic
 > My sister
 >She gets confused. My sister is asian?
 > "You never told me you had a sister, anon, andI
 met your family
 > Ohshit.jpg
 > I make up a story on the spot about my parents
 splitting and my dad remarrying. She's my
 stepsister. We broke up over a year ago. My
 parents fought once in front of her. Not too far
 fetched
 "Aww, anon. I'm so sorry." She says, basically
 jumping into my arms after putting the photo
 down
 Haven't even blown a load in at least a week
 >Boner is visible
 >She goes for it. I had forgotten that one of the
 main reasons we broke up was her sex drive and
 mine not matching up
 >Suddenly remember second was that she was a
 crazy bitch towards me sometimes
 > I just go with it and hope that I wont remember
 this in a month
 Best sex I ever had. (I bagged up tho. No
 worries
 sWe fall asleep in eachothers arms on my
 roommates bed

 crazv bitch towards me sometimes
 >I just go with it and hope that I wont remember
 this in a month
 Best sex I ever had. (I bagged up tho. No
 worries
 s We fall asleep in eachothers arms on my
 roommates bed
 Wake up to a banging on the door
 Groggily get up to find my ex making breakfast
 and my best friends gf at the door
 Wtf
 I yell through the door at her "What do you want?"
 (My best bud) left something and needed her to
 bring it to him
 > I open the door cautiously
 She sees my ex, and me half naked. She ofo
 knows about my af
 She asks to talk to me in private
 Takes me to the bedroom, locks the door and
 quietly asks me "Are you cheating or did you break
 I don't lie to her
 >She gets frustrated with me and leaves without
 my buds thing he needed
 "What was that?" My ex asks
 Now T don't remember exactly what I said at this
 point because I was scared shitless. My buds gf
 was for sure gonna tell mine and now things were
 gonna tumble down
 Cont?

 > "What was that anon?"
 >Ex js getting visibly annoyed and worried
 > She looks back at the photo of me and my
 "sister
 I look down at the floor
 My ex suddenly pieces something together right
 then and there
 >"ls she vour girlfriend?"
 > I fucking crumble and admit everything
 >She's surprisingly understanding, but just as
 understandably upset
 > ''You should call her
 No
 >"I need you to do this for me"
 I do
 > I explain the whole thing to her, sparing the
 sexual details
 > She sounds pretty heartbroken
 I try to console her but it doesnt work as well as l
 would have hoped
 She hangs up on me
 I'm in a puddle of tears sitting next to the first girl
 | ever loved
 > She hugs me awkwardly one last time
 > "I need one more thing from you
 > I look at her and wipe away some tears. "What?"
 > She smiles at me warmly and says "I need about
 tree fiddy
 I suddenly realised what I should have long ago
 My ex was about 8 stories tall and was a
 crustacean from the paleozoic era
 The god damn loch ness monster had tricked me
 again
Anon is conflicted

Anon is conflicted

Apparently, Ass, and Cute: roach patrol: awwww-cute Girlfriend's mice tangle their tails when cuddling what the fuck this is too cute AldenRants 24-50 @blaaaarrgh asked me to rant about the people who don't want you to rant anymore, because fuck them! Do I want to get started? My heart says, "FUUUUUCK YEEEES END THEMMMM *unsettling primal carnivorous noises*" but my mind says, ".....I mean......they're not wrong" because guys. Ive made sooo many rants at this point that the only things I can think of to protest about with most of them is that the object or type of person is either deranged or of the devil. No matter how much I enjoy it, I'm always so done at this point of rant making and it leaves me cOnfLiCtEd. It's like. Do I want to end the people against my rants...or end myself?? NO, I'VE MADE UP MY MIND THE HEART WANTS WHAT THE HEART WANTS AND MYYY HEART WA- NAY! YEARRRRRNS TO PUT THESE WHINY ASS, PICKY, HEARTLESS, IMPOSSIBLE TO PLEASE DINGBATS IN THEIR PLACE. Only God can judge us AND YOUR PLACE SURE AIN'T GOD STATUS SO FUCK OUTTA HERE! INSTAGRAM DOESN'T EVEN MAKE YOU LOOK AT WHOLE CAPTIONS ANYMORE! If you want to see a full caption, you have to ACTIVELY press the button to view it SO WHY THE HELL ARE YOU TELLING ME "Ugh I'm so tired of seeing these rants they're getting annoying" WHEN YOU GOT NO ONE TO BLAME EXCEPT YOUR OWN SENTIENT FINGER APPARENTLY WHO HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR SEPARATE FROM -AND DEBATABLY SUPERIOR TO- YOUR OWN. If you want to punish the reallll culprit for your supposed torture, THEN HOW ABOUT YOU DO US ALL A FAVOR AND STICK YOUR GUILT-RIDDEN THUMB UP YOUR ASS
Apparently, Ass, and Cute: roach patrol:
 awwww-cute
 Girlfriend's mice tangle their tails when
 cuddling
 what the fuck this is too cute
AldenRants 24-50 @blaaaarrgh asked me to rant about the people who don't want you to rant anymore, because fuck them! Do I want to get started? My heart says, "FUUUUUCK YEEEES END THEMMMM *unsettling primal carnivorous noises*" but my mind says, ".....I mean......they're not wrong" because guys. Ive made sooo many rants at this point that the only things I can think of to protest about with most of them is that the object or type of person is either deranged or of the devil. No matter how much I enjoy it, I'm always so done at this point of rant making and it leaves me cOnfLiCtEd. It's like. Do I want to end the people against my rants...or end myself?? NO, I'VE MADE UP MY MIND THE HEART WANTS WHAT THE HEART WANTS AND MYYY HEART WA- NAY! YEARRRRRNS TO PUT THESE WHINY ASS, PICKY, HEARTLESS, IMPOSSIBLE TO PLEASE DINGBATS IN THEIR PLACE. Only God can judge us AND YOUR PLACE SURE AIN'T GOD STATUS SO FUCK OUTTA HERE! INSTAGRAM DOESN'T EVEN MAKE YOU LOOK AT WHOLE CAPTIONS ANYMORE! If you want to see a full caption, you have to ACTIVELY press the button to view it SO WHY THE HELL ARE YOU TELLING ME "Ugh I'm so tired of seeing these rants they're getting annoying" WHEN YOU GOT NO ONE TO BLAME EXCEPT YOUR OWN SENTIENT FINGER APPARENTLY WHO HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR SEPARATE FROM -AND DEBATABLY SUPERIOR TO- YOUR OWN. If you want to punish the reallll culprit for your supposed torture, THEN HOW ABOUT YOU DO US ALL A FAVOR AND STICK YOUR GUILT-RIDDEN THUMB UP YOUR ASS

AldenRants 24-50 @blaaaarrgh asked me to rant about the people who don't want you to rant anymore, because fuck them! Do I want to get start...

Beautiful, Memes, and Politics: Beautiful Muqdisho, Somalia, 197Os a Before the civil war @chakabars A brief history Over the past two decades the nature of the Somali crisis and the international context within which it is occurring have been constantly changing. It has mutated from a civil war in the 1980s, through state collapse, clan factionalism and warlordism in the 1990s, to a globalised ideological conflict in the first decade of the new millennium. In this time the international environment has also changed, from the end of the Cold War to the ‘global war on terror’, which impacts directly on the crisis and international responses to it. This poses a problem for Somalis and international actors working to build peace. Initiatives that may have appeared to offer a solution in earlier years may no longer be applicable and there is a risk of fighting yesterday’s war or building yesterday’s peace. This article traces the evolution of the Somali conflict and some of the continuities that run through it. From Cold War to civil war 1988-91 The collapse of the Somali state was the consequence of a combination of internal and external factors. Externally there were the legacies of European colonialism that divided the Somali people into five states, the impact of Cold War politics in shoring up a predatory state, and the cumulative effect of wars with neighbouring states, most damagingly the 1977-78 Ogaden war with Ethiopia. Internally, there were contradictions between a centralised state authority, and a fractious kinship system and the Somali pastoral culture in which power is diffused. Next came the Somali National Movement (SNM) formed in 1982 that drew its support from the Isaaq clan. The SNM insurgency escalated into a full-scale civil war in 1988 when it attacked government garrisons in Burco and Hargeisa. The government responded with a ferocious assault on the Isaaq clan, killing some 50,000 people and forcing 650,000 to flee to Ethiopia and Djibouti. Somalia’s collapse was hastened by the ending of the Cold War. As Somalia’s strategic importance to the West declined, the foreign aid that had sustained the state was withdrawn. More below 👇🏿😢❤️🇸🇴 Chakabars
Beautiful, Memes, and Politics: Beautiful Muqdisho, Somalia, 197Os a
 Before the civil war
 @chakabars
A brief history Over the past two decades the nature of the Somali crisis and the international context within which it is occurring have been constantly changing. It has mutated from a civil war in the 1980s, through state collapse, clan factionalism and warlordism in the 1990s, to a globalised ideological conflict in the first decade of the new millennium. In this time the international environment has also changed, from the end of the Cold War to the ‘global war on terror’, which impacts directly on the crisis and international responses to it. This poses a problem for Somalis and international actors working to build peace. Initiatives that may have appeared to offer a solution in earlier years may no longer be applicable and there is a risk of fighting yesterday’s war or building yesterday’s peace. This article traces the evolution of the Somali conflict and some of the continuities that run through it. From Cold War to civil war 1988-91 The collapse of the Somali state was the consequence of a combination of internal and external factors. Externally there were the legacies of European colonialism that divided the Somali people into five states, the impact of Cold War politics in shoring up a predatory state, and the cumulative effect of wars with neighbouring states, most damagingly the 1977-78 Ogaden war with Ethiopia. Internally, there were contradictions between a centralised state authority, and a fractious kinship system and the Somali pastoral culture in which power is diffused. Next came the Somali National Movement (SNM) formed in 1982 that drew its support from the Isaaq clan. The SNM insurgency escalated into a full-scale civil war in 1988 when it attacked government garrisons in Burco and Hargeisa. The government responded with a ferocious assault on the Isaaq clan, killing some 50,000 people and forcing 650,000 to flee to Ethiopia and Djibouti. Somalia’s collapse was hastened by the ending of the Cold War. As Somalia’s strategic importance to the West declined, the foreign aid that had sustained the state was withdrawn. More below 👇🏿😢❤️🇸🇴 Chakabars

A brief history Over the past two decades the nature of the Somali crisis and the international context within which it is occurring have be...

Memes, Muslim, and Petty: This photo is of a Somali woman in 19IO @chakabars She is fine! In 1899, Sheikh Maxamed came into conflict with the recently established Christian mission and also was involved in a petty dispute with the administration. With the current European and Ethiopian encroachment and with the example of the Sudanese mahdi (in Islamic eschatology, a messianic deliverer), these two incidents provided the seeds that rapidly developed into a major Somali insurrection. Maxamed did not appropriate the title of mahdi but assumed the title of sayyid (a descendant of the Prophet), and his followers were known as the dervishes. He displayed great skill in employing all the traditional tactics of Somali clan politics in building up his following, strengthening these with the call to national Muslim solidarity against the infidel colonizers. Arms and ammunition, denied to Somali in the past, became easily available through the ports of Djibouti and the northeastern coast, and the dervishes, although opposed by many Somali, who were branded as traitors to Islam, successfully weathered four major British, Italian, and Ethiopian campaigns between 1900 and 1904. The cumbersome British armies, hampered by their supply and water requirements, found the dervish guerrilla tactics hard to combat effectively, and, when in 1910 the British government decided to abandon its inconclusive, extremely expensive operations and withdrew to the coast, leaving chaos in the interior, Sayyid Maxamed seemed to have emerged victorious. A new policy was subsequently adopted, however, and, with the aid of an increasingly effective camel constabulary (whose founder, Richard Corfield, was killed at the Battle of Dulmadoobe in 1913), the dervishes were kept at bay until 1920, when a combined air, sea, and land operation finally routed them. The formidable dervish stronghold at Taleex, or Taleh, was bombed, but the sayyid escaped, as so often before, only to die of influenza a few months later while desperately seeking to rally his scattered followers. chakabars ❤🇸🇴 pic by @vintage_somalia
Memes, Muslim, and Petty: This photo is of a Somali woman in 19IO
 @chakabars
She is fine! In 1899, Sheikh Maxamed came into conflict with the recently established Christian mission and also was involved in a petty dispute with the administration. With the current European and Ethiopian encroachment and with the example of the Sudanese mahdi (in Islamic eschatology, a messianic deliverer), these two incidents provided the seeds that rapidly developed into a major Somali insurrection. Maxamed did not appropriate the title of mahdi but assumed the title of sayyid (a descendant of the Prophet), and his followers were known as the dervishes. He displayed great skill in employing all the traditional tactics of Somali clan politics in building up his following, strengthening these with the call to national Muslim solidarity against the infidel colonizers. Arms and ammunition, denied to Somali in the past, became easily available through the ports of Djibouti and the northeastern coast, and the dervishes, although opposed by many Somali, who were branded as traitors to Islam, successfully weathered four major British, Italian, and Ethiopian campaigns between 1900 and 1904. The cumbersome British armies, hampered by their supply and water requirements, found the dervish guerrilla tactics hard to combat effectively, and, when in 1910 the British government decided to abandon its inconclusive, extremely expensive operations and withdrew to the coast, leaving chaos in the interior, Sayyid Maxamed seemed to have emerged victorious. A new policy was subsequently adopted, however, and, with the aid of an increasingly effective camel constabulary (whose founder, Richard Corfield, was killed at the Battle of Dulmadoobe in 1913), the dervishes were kept at bay until 1920, when a combined air, sea, and land operation finally routed them. The formidable dervish stronghold at Taleex, or Taleh, was bombed, but the sayyid escaped, as so often before, only to die of influenza a few months later while desperately seeking to rally his scattered followers. chakabars ❤🇸🇴 pic by @vintage_somalia

She is fine! In 1899, Sheikh Maxamed came into conflict with the recently established Christian mission and also was involved in a petty dis...

Beautiful, Blessed, and Children: Because you need a cute Somali baby on your timeline, have a blessed day a @chaka ban Because when you tell a story you should tell the full story. There is suffering in Somalia right now, many people don't have access to food or water. We are trying to change that, we don't make a business out of helping the people, but we do it out of humanity. The same humanity I extend to all people suffering anywhere on this earth. Many people told me Somalia is too dangerous, the people are crazy, it wouldn't help to come here... Etc But I am no different to any of these people, so I won't hide behind my passport or the privileges, that I never asked for anyway. We need to treat all humans as equal, no matter where they are from or which belief system they follow. So many people think of Somali people and think of pirates. They don't speak of the colonisation by the British, the Italians and the French, the massacres that the Ethiopians lead against the Somali people, or how the Russians and the Cubans & Ethiopians went to war with the Somalia people in 1964. They never speak about North Americas involvement in keeping Somalia at war. They don't speak of the pipeline that Kenya and Ethiopia want to run through Somalia. Or how Libya and Yemen fought against the Somali people. Or how nuclear waste was dumped off the coast of Somalia by the Mafia, poisoning Somali children and fish. Or how many of the Gulf states are complicit in arming & funding the terrorists in Somalia. Then there was conflict and civil war... Or how the casualties of all of this are little babies like this one. They rarely speak of the beauty of the people, how hospitable they are, how friendly and welcoming they are. I got so many hugs and smiles. I didn't meet one person who was scary or aggressive. Not saying they don't exist, but please, tell the full story. The 🇸🇴 people deserve to be properly represented, they are so beautiful and need you to see them as humans, just like you see me... chakabars
Beautiful, Blessed, and Children: Because you need a cute Somali baby
 on your timeline, have a blessed day a
 @chaka ban
Because when you tell a story you should tell the full story. There is suffering in Somalia right now, many people don't have access to food or water. We are trying to change that, we don't make a business out of helping the people, but we do it out of humanity. The same humanity I extend to all people suffering anywhere on this earth. Many people told me Somalia is too dangerous, the people are crazy, it wouldn't help to come here... Etc But I am no different to any of these people, so I won't hide behind my passport or the privileges, that I never asked for anyway. We need to treat all humans as equal, no matter where they are from or which belief system they follow. So many people think of Somali people and think of pirates. They don't speak of the colonisation by the British, the Italians and the French, the massacres that the Ethiopians lead against the Somali people, or how the Russians and the Cubans & Ethiopians went to war with the Somalia people in 1964. They never speak about North Americas involvement in keeping Somalia at war. They don't speak of the pipeline that Kenya and Ethiopia want to run through Somalia. Or how Libya and Yemen fought against the Somali people. Or how nuclear waste was dumped off the coast of Somalia by the Mafia, poisoning Somali children and fish. Or how many of the Gulf states are complicit in arming & funding the terrorists in Somalia. Then there was conflict and civil war... Or how the casualties of all of this are little babies like this one. They rarely speak of the beauty of the people, how hospitable they are, how friendly and welcoming they are. I got so many hugs and smiles. I didn't meet one person who was scary or aggressive. Not saying they don't exist, but please, tell the full story. The 🇸🇴 people deserve to be properly represented, they are so beautiful and need you to see them as humans, just like you see me... chakabars

Because when you tell a story you should tell the full story. There is suffering in Somalia right now, many people don't have access to food...