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honeyngld: jooshcognito: gahdamnpunk: It’s cause all dads speak in watermelon Me, slapping a bothered watermelon in the Safeway produce section: Hnnng yea she riddy My mom just flicks it, it has to be a southern thing : Farhan Follow @Ahwhateverr Now that I know what type of watermelon to pick up from the local food store, i'm ready to become a dad. Kaveri Shenoy O+ April 4 at 4:39 AM- Tips GOOD THE BEST WATERY SWEET 4. 'Boy' and 'girl' watermelons: Many people do not know that farmers differentiate watermelons by gender. For example, 'boys' are bigger, have an elongated shape, and a watery taste. The 'girls' have 2. Look for the field spot: The yellow spot, known as the field spot, is the place where the watermelon rested on the ground. Ripe watermelons always have creamy yellow or even orange-yellow spots, 5. Inspect the tail: A dried tail indicates that the watermelon is ripe. However, if the tail is green, it probably means that the watermelon was picked too soon and will not be ripe Remember to kindly like and share this post to others. 3. Pay attention to the size: It is better to choose neither the largest nor the smallest watermelon. Select an average-sized fuit. And note, please: large or small, the watermelon should feel heavy for its size. Like Share Comment Follow @blurrbubble My dad just slaps it and knows Farhan @Ahwhateverr Now that I know what type of watermelon to pick up from mme'er the local food store, i'm ready to become a dad. Show this thread 2:21 PM-12 Apr 2019 F#x XY"eitiil Retweets il@).il,'il42 likes honeyngld: jooshcognito: gahdamnpunk: It’s cause all dads speak in watermelon Me, slapping a bothered watermelon in the Safeway produce section: Hnnng yea she riddy My mom just flicks it, it has to be a southern thing

honeyngld: jooshcognito: gahdamnpunk: It’s cause all dads speak in watermelon Me, slapping a bothered watermelon in the Safeway produce...

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The effort I put into this seemed to pay off: Instructions: YOU MATCHED WITH ON 11/05/2019 ose any topic and I'll give you a pick up line related to it 1) You add potatoes to medium pot & fill with water until all potatoes are covered and static Yesterday 15:11 2) Only season with salt as extra nando's creamy mash x 3) Use the hob to bring to the boil & reduce to a simmer until potatoes are tender. After roughly 15 minutes remove heat from pan Yesterday 18:17 Ingredients: 500g Gold Potatoes (peeled and chopped into large chunks) 1/2 stick unsalted butter,+2 tablespoons, divided 1/2 head of garlic (cloves smashed) 1/3 cup warm heavy cream 14 cup sour cream 14 tsp. salt 4) After, melt butter on a low heat or semi 5) Remove as milk solids rise to the top. Be careful as these may 6) Easily add garlic & cook on low for 15 minutes then remove the garlic area Instructions: 7) Visibly check potatoes and drain thoroughly so they are not too thiclk 1) You add potatoes to medium pot & fill with water until all potatoes are covered and static 8) Essentially, while potatoes are hot, pass through a potato ricer and add back to pot above 2) Only season with salt as extra for you 8) Essentially, while potatoes are hot, pass through a potato ricer and add back to pot above 12) Upon transferring to a serving dish, melt remaining butter too 9) Rinse in melted butter, salt, heavy cream & sour cream carefully 13) Time to pour over potatoes then garnish with paprika, just like on the menu 10) Yielding a hand held mixer beat the potatoes on high until potatoes are smooth and fluffy also 14) Eat and enjoy, makes a great treat Read the first letter of each of the 14 instructions from the Nando's creamy mash recipe 11) Carefully season with salt and pepper, with the perfect amount Yesterday 23:45 12) Upon transferring to a serving dish, melt remaining butter too oh my god that's amazing 13) Time to pour over potatoes then garnish with paprika, just like on the menu Today 05:49 Now read the last letter of each of the 14 instructions 14) Eat and enjoy, makes a great treat Read the first letter of each of the 14 instructions from the Nando's creamy mash recipe Today 08:59 after that, yeah you can The effort I put into this seemed to pay off

The effort I put into this seemed to pay off

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witchylass: witchoncampus: foodffs: The Ultimate Guide For Spiced Hot Chocolate Really nice recipes. Every hour. Show me what you cooked! Make it Witchy:Peppermint - attract money, confidence in speechOrange - joy, warmth, strengthVegan - compassionAztec - defense, spiritual shield, strengthen auraPeanut Butter - protect children, comfortPumpkin Spice - romance, friendship, holiday spirit Nutella - happiness, comfortCaramel - relieve stress, beauty Lavender White - sleep, soothing, pleasant dreams Irish - luck, imagination, faith Turn three times clockwise as you repeat your desired result to activate ingredients. 🤗☕☕☕☕😍😍😍: HOT CHOCOLATE Peppernit 1 CUP WHOLE MILK 1/2 CUP CHOCOLATE CHIPS 1 TSP PEPPERMINT 1 CUP 1/2 TBSP. SUGAR 1/2 TBSP. GRATED 2 02 DARK ORANGEZEST CHOCOLATE 4 1 CUP VANILİA ALMOND MILK 1-1/2 TBSP. 2 TSP. COCONUT PALM SUGAR 1 CUP 5oz. CHOPPED DARK CHOCOLATE 1/4 TSP. CINNAMON TINY PINCH CAYENNE COCOA POW DER 1 CUP SKIM MILK 1/2 CUP HEAVY 4OZ. MILK CHOCOLATE CHOPPED 1/4 CUP CREAMY 1 TSP /2TSP 1 CUP 1 TSP WHOLEMILK UNSWEETENED SYRUP PIE SPICE DARK COCOA ⑦ nutella NUTELLA 1 CUP WHOLE MILK 1 TBSP. COCOA 3 TBSP. CARAMEL SAUCE 2 TBSP PINCH SALT 1/2 CUP 5 OZ MILK CHOCOLATE, CHOPPED 1/4CUP HEAVY ⑨ seauenden White 10 grish 2 OZ BAILEY'S IRISH CREAM 1 CUP 1/4TSP 1/2 CUP WHITE 1 CUP MILK 1/2 CUP CHOCOLATE CHIPS WHOLE MILK LAVENDER BUDS CHOCOLATE CHIPS TOP IT OFF: cinnamon stick.canamel BROUGHT TO You BY sheknows witchylass: witchoncampus: foodffs: The Ultimate Guide For Spiced Hot Chocolate Really nice recipes. Every hour. Show me what you cooked! Make it Witchy:Peppermint - attract money, confidence in speechOrange - joy, warmth, strengthVegan - compassionAztec - defense, spiritual shield, strengthen auraPeanut Butter - protect children, comfortPumpkin Spice - romance, friendship, holiday spirit Nutella - happiness, comfortCaramel - relieve stress, beauty Lavender White - sleep, soothing, pleasant dreams Irish - luck, imagination, faith Turn three times clockwise as you repeat your desired result to activate ingredients. 🤗☕☕☕☕😍😍😍

witchylass: witchoncampus: foodffs: The Ultimate Guide For Spiced Hot Chocolate Really nice recipes. Every hour. Show me what you coo...

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homestuckpatternreference: iamthesylveon: f-e-f-e-t-a-c-a-k-e-s: gryphynshadow: silencingthedrums: zeaky: sliceofbri: DID YOU MOTHERFUCKERS REALLY THINK YOU WERE DONE WITH ME? I THINK NOT. THAT’S RIGHT IT’S THE SUGAR SCRUB CHICK BACK WITH ANOTHER FUCKING TUTORIAL. YOU BITCHES HAVE BEEN ASKING ME FOR AGES TO MAKE ANOTHER ONE OF THESE FUCKING POSTS AND IT’S FUCKING LATE SO HERE YOU GO FUCKERS WE GON LEARN SOME SHIT SO SIT DOWN AND BE QUIET SO WE ALL WANT LIPS RED AS THE BLOOD OF ANGRY MEN RIGHT AND WHO DOESN’T FUCKING LIKE ARTS AND CRAFTS AND I DON’T EVEN NEED TO TALK ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND LIPSTICK FOR FUCKING COSPLAY SO BEHOLD THE HUMBLE CRAYON YOU LITTLE SHITS GET A CRAYON. AND NOT JUST ANY CRAYON A FUCKING CRAYOLA CRAYON DON’T EVEN TRY WITH THAT ROSEART SHIT BECAUSE I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND RIP OUT YOUR UVULA. IF YOU WANNA GET REALLY ARTSY WHIP OUT ONE OF THESE BAD BOYS  AND BREAK UP SOME CRAYONS TO GET THE PERFECT SHADE OF BLUE GREEN FOR THAT BADASS COSPLAY YOU’VE GOT PICKED OUT BUT MARK MY WORDS NO MORE THAN ONE FUCKING CRAYON’S WORTH OF BITS BETTER GO INTO THIS FUCKING BOWL. SPEAKING OF WHICH, YOU NEED SOME OTHER FUCKING SHIT IN THERE SO GO GET SOME OIL. THE GOOD STUFF. I’M TALKING EVOO BITCHES THE VIRGINAL BLOOD OF THE MOST TENDER OLIVES IN ALL THE LAND. SQUEEZE SOME OF THAT HEAVENLY LUBRICANT INTO YOUR BOWL, ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON, THAT’LL DO PIG, THAT’LL DO. NOW GO FIND SOME SHEA BUTTER OR COCONUT OIL AND GLOP ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON OF THAT IN YOUR BOWL. NOW GO TO YOUR MAGICAL CABINET OF WONDERS AND FIND SOME NICE SMELLING SHIT. COULD BE VANILLA EXTRACT. COULD BE LAVENDER OIL. I DON’T KNOW BRO WHATEVER YOU THINK SMELLS LIKE THE SILKY UNDERBELLY OF A NEWBORN UNICORN(important note make sure you use a FOOD SAFE oil if it doesn’t say it’s food safe/food grade don’t use it!) GRASP THE BOTTLE FIRMLY, SCREAM LIKE A VICTORIOUS PTERODACTYL, AND DROP 1-4 DROPS OF THAT SWEET SMELLING LIQUID IN THERE. I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS RIGHT THERE BECAUSE IT IS THE HEATING VESSEL FOR YOUR GLORIOUS LIPSTICK THAT’S RIGHT LIKE A VIKING WARLORD YOU ARE GOING TO USE A DOUBLE BOILER. SO GET A SAUCEPAN AND HEAT SOME WATER, THEN PLOP THAT SWEET SMELLING BOWL OF OIL AND WAX ON TOP OF THAT STEAMY WATER LIKE THE COLLISION OF YOUR OTP IN A BAD FANFIC OH YEAH. STIR THAT SHIT UNTIL EVERYTHING IS MELTY AND SMOOTH YOU DON’T WANT TO RUIN YOUR SPOONS SO I USE A DISPOSABLE CHOPSTICK FUCK YEAH RECYCLING NOW ONCE THAT SHIT IS SOFT LIKE THE SUPPLE SKIN OF YOUR HEAVENLY BOOTY, YOU NEED SOMETHING TO POUR IT INTO WELL DAMN GOOD THING YOU PICKED UP SOME CONTACT CASES LAST TIME YOU WERE AT THE STORE OR MAYBE YOU HAVE SOME EMPTY CHAPSTICK TUBES OR JUST SOME SMALL TUPPERWARE I DON’T KNOW BUT GOSH YOU ARE SO RESOURCEFUL AND PRETTY YOU DESERVE NICE LIPSTICK LIKE THIS ALSO TAKE SOME TIME FOR YOU THIS WEEKEND AND NEVER FORGET HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU I’M GLAD WE HAD THAT MOMENT TOGETHER NOW BECAUSE NOTHING IS MORE METAL THAN SAFETY, TAKE A THICK HAND TOWEL OR AN OVEN MITT OR SOMETHING AND GRIP THAT BOWL OF COLORFUL GOOP AND POUR GENTLY INTO THAT RECEPTACLE YOU PROCURED. YOU WILL PROBABLY SPILL SOME BUT THAT’S OKAY YOU’RE ONLY HUMAN. POP THAT SHIT IN THE FRIDGE BECAUSE YOU’RE AN IMPATIENT MOTHERFUCKER AND YOU WANT YOUR LIPSTICK NOW GODDAMMIT AND ONCE IT HARDENS SLATHER THAT CREAMY GOODNESS ON THICK, SLIDE ON SOME SUNGLASSES, AND HEAD INTO BATTLE TO DESTROY THE PATRIARCHY CLASS DISMISSED MOTHERFUCKERS DO NOT DO THIS. DO NOT DO THIS. DO NOT DO THIS. NO DO NOT FUCKING DO THIS, CRYON HAS A LOT OF FUCKING LEAD IN IT (four times more than lipstick) PLEASE JUST BUY ACTUAL LIPSTICK. There’s no lead in crayola crayons. Kids eat them. The ingredients in Crayola Crayons are: paraffin, wax, and pigment. They’re made with the understanding that some kids will eat the damn things, so the company that makes Crayons has been very very careful to use non-toxic materials, even going so far as to use a special edible glue on the paper labels. (cornstarch and water, fyi) You can eat Crayons, if you really wanted to, but frankly the flavor’s a little bland. They taste like wax. So, yeah. adding oils with a lower solidification temperature like Olive Oil or Grapeseed or Avocado, and mixing in some Shea or Coconut Butter would make a creamy crayon. Which you could use on your skin, if you wanted. Go wild, use that shit on more than just lips. Use it like theatrical makeup, paint your tits blue if you want. Or use it like paint on the walls, or paper, or canvas. It won’t dry the same way acrylic or watercolor paint will, and will remain ‘workable’ and pliable until the oil looses enough water to solidify, much like, oh, off the top of my head… oil paint. Modern oil paints are very similar to the recipe above, though usually done with Linseed oil or other inert non-organic oils. Organic oils, as they dry, can discolor, making your carefully chosen color look off. Why are some really old painting slightly yellow? Partly the varnish has yellowed, partly airborne pollutants have stained the surface, and partly the oil in the original paint has shifted color. BTW, don’t eat Linseed oil, you’ll get the runs something fierce and regret it a lot. And then you get to go to the doctor and explain why your runny poo is brightly colored. But the amount you’d ingest from lipstick made with crayons? Negligible. Now I really want to make a set of rainbow lipstick to match my rainbow collection of nail polish (which is way more toxic than crayon lipstick, too.) so what you’re saying is i could buy a fuckton of grey crayns and have grey body paint i think i know where that’s going i think we all know where that’s going : Crayola e With Preferred by Teachers ar E CRAYONS 24 homestuckpatternreference: iamthesylveon: f-e-f-e-t-a-c-a-k-e-s: gryphynshadow: silencingthedrums: zeaky: sliceofbri: DID YOU MOTHERFUCKERS REALLY THINK YOU WERE DONE WITH ME? I THINK NOT. THAT’S RIGHT IT’S THE SUGAR SCRUB CHICK BACK WITH ANOTHER FUCKING TUTORIAL. YOU BITCHES HAVE BEEN ASKING ME FOR AGES TO MAKE ANOTHER ONE OF THESE FUCKING POSTS AND IT’S FUCKING LATE SO HERE YOU GO FUCKERS WE GON LEARN SOME SHIT SO SIT DOWN AND BE QUIET SO WE ALL WANT LIPS RED AS THE BLOOD OF ANGRY MEN RIGHT AND WHO DOESN’T FUCKING LIKE ARTS AND CRAFTS AND I DON’T EVEN NEED TO TALK ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND LIPSTICK FOR FUCKING COSPLAY SO BEHOLD THE HUMBLE CRAYON YOU LITTLE SHITS GET A CRAYON. AND NOT JUST ANY CRAYON A FUCKING CRAYOLA CRAYON DON’T EVEN TRY WITH THAT ROSEART SHIT BECAUSE I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND RIP OUT YOUR UVULA. IF YOU WANNA GET REALLY ARTSY WHIP OUT ONE OF THESE BAD BOYS  AND BREAK UP SOME CRAYONS TO GET THE PERFECT SHADE OF BLUE GREEN FOR THAT BADASS COSPLAY YOU’VE GOT PICKED OUT BUT MARK MY WORDS NO MORE THAN ONE FUCKING CRAYON’S WORTH OF BITS BETTER GO INTO THIS FUCKING BOWL. SPEAKING OF WHICH, YOU NEED SOME OTHER FUCKING SHIT IN THERE SO GO GET SOME OIL. THE GOOD STUFF. I’M TALKING EVOO BITCHES THE VIRGINAL BLOOD OF THE MOST TENDER OLIVES IN ALL THE LAND. SQUEEZE SOME OF THAT HEAVENLY LUBRICANT INTO YOUR BOWL, ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON, THAT’LL DO PIG, THAT’LL DO. NOW GO FIND SOME SHEA BUTTER OR COCONUT OIL AND GLOP ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON OF THAT IN YOUR BOWL. NOW GO TO YOUR MAGICAL CABINET OF WONDERS AND FIND SOME NICE SMELLING SHIT. COULD BE VANILLA EXTRACT. COULD BE LAVENDER OIL. I DON’T KNOW BRO WHATEVER YOU THINK SMELLS LIKE THE SILKY UNDERBELLY OF A NEWBORN UNICORN(important note make sure you use a FOOD SAFE oil if it doesn’t say it’s food safe/food grade don’t use it!) GRASP THE BOTTLE FIRMLY, SCREAM LIKE A VICTORIOUS PTERODACTYL, AND DROP 1-4 DROPS OF THAT SWEET SMELLING LIQUID IN THERE. I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS RIGHT THERE BECAUSE IT IS THE HEATING VESSEL FOR YOUR GLORIOUS LIPSTICK THAT’S RIGHT LIKE A VIKING WARLORD YOU ARE GOING TO USE A DOUBLE BOILER. SO GET A SAUCEPAN AND HEAT SOME WATER, THEN PLOP THAT SWEET SMELLING BOWL OF OIL AND WAX ON TOP OF THAT STEAMY WATER LIKE THE COLLISION OF YOUR OTP IN A BAD FANFIC OH YEAH. STIR THAT SHIT UNTIL EVERYTHING IS MELTY AND SMOOTH YOU DON’T WANT TO RUIN YOUR SPOONS SO I USE A DISPOSABLE CHOPSTICK FUCK YEAH RECYCLING NOW ONCE THAT SHIT IS SOFT LIKE THE SUPPLE SKIN OF YOUR HEAVENLY BOOTY, YOU NEED SOMETHING TO POUR IT INTO WELL DAMN GOOD THING YOU PICKED UP SOME CONTACT CASES LAST TIME YOU WERE AT THE STORE OR MAYBE YOU HAVE SOME EMPTY CHAPSTICK TUBES OR JUST SOME SMALL TUPPERWARE I DON’T KNOW BUT GOSH YOU ARE SO RESOURCEFUL AND PRETTY YOU DESERVE NICE LIPSTICK LIKE THIS ALSO TAKE SOME TIME FOR YOU THIS WEEKEND AND NEVER FORGET HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU I’M GLAD WE HAD THAT MOMENT TOGETHER NOW BECAUSE NOTHING IS MORE METAL THAN SAFETY, TAKE A THICK HAND TOWEL OR AN OVEN MITT OR SOMETHING AND GRIP THAT BOWL OF COLORFUL GOOP AND POUR GENTLY INTO THAT RECEPTACLE YOU PROCURED. YOU WILL PROBABLY SPILL SOME BUT THAT’S OKAY YOU’RE ONLY HUMAN. POP THAT SHIT IN THE FRIDGE BECAUSE YOU’RE AN IMPATIENT MOTHERFUCKER AND YOU WANT YOUR LIPSTICK NOW GODDAMMIT AND ONCE IT HARDENS SLATHER THAT CREAMY GOODNESS ON THICK, SLIDE ON SOME SUNGLASSES, AND HEAD INTO BATTLE TO DESTROY THE PATRIARCHY CLASS DISMISSED MOTHERFUCKERS DO NOT DO THIS. DO NOT DO THIS. DO NOT DO THIS. NO DO NOT FUCKING DO THIS, CRYON HAS A LOT OF FUCKING LEAD IN IT (four times more than lipstick) PLEASE JUST BUY ACTUAL LIPSTICK. There’s no lead in crayola crayons. Kids eat them. The ingredients in Crayola Crayons are: paraffin, wax, and pigment. They’re made with the understanding that some kids will eat the damn things, so the company that makes Crayons has been very very careful to use non-toxic materials, even going so far as to use a special edible glue on the paper labels. (cornstarch and water, fyi) You can eat Crayons, if you really wanted to, but frankly the flavor’s a little bland. They taste like wax. So, yeah. adding oils with a lower solidification temperature like Olive Oil or Grapeseed or Avocado, and mixing in some Shea or Coconut Butter would make a creamy crayon. Which you could use on your skin, if you wanted. Go wild, use that shit on more than just lips. Use it like theatrical makeup, paint your tits blue if you want. Or use it like paint on the walls, or paper, or canvas. It won’t dry the same way acrylic or watercolor paint will, and will remain ‘workable’ and pliable until the oil looses enough water to solidify, much like, oh, off the top of my head… oil paint. Modern oil paints are very similar to the recipe above, though usually done with Linseed oil or other inert non-organic oils. Organic oils, as they dry, can discolor, making your carefully chosen color look off. Why are some really old painting slightly yellow? Partly the varnish has yellowed, partly airborne pollutants have stained the surface, and partly the oil in the original paint has shifted color. BTW, don’t eat Linseed oil, you’ll get the runs something fierce and regret it a lot. And then you get to go to the doctor and explain why your runny poo is brightly colored. But the amount you’d ingest from lipstick made with crayons? Negligible. Now I really want to make a set of rainbow lipstick to match my rainbow collection of nail polish (which is way more toxic than crayon lipstick, too.) so what you’re saying is i could buy a fuckton of grey crayns and have grey body paint i think i know where that’s going i think we all know where that’s going
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