πŸ”₯ Popular | Latest

Beautiful, Booty, and Bruh: Memphis Zoo announces birth of baby hippo... weighing just 76 pounds! Name not yet decided. pic: Memphis Zoo @Drsmashlove So, after my post about opening my door and killing hipster bicyclists, a female follower DM'ed me saying "hey smash! I think I have the solution to your problem. Look up 'Dutch reach.' Good luck!" Now see Bruh my mind is tainted. Ruined. I came of age in the point in history when pr0n went from being snuck around and shared in a crumpled-up, clandestine fashion to being readily available on computers and phones. So a sexy female follower DMs me about the 'Dutch reach' and my mind starts wondering. Wandering. 'Dutch reach'...hold up...like where I'm with a girl putting in work from behind and she all "YES DADDY PUNISH ME DADDY" and then right when I'm like "ohhhh...OHHH...ARGHHHH" she reaches alllllllllll the way under past my sac and jams two fingers into my back door and I start crying and screaming and vomiting and then curl up in a ball wrapped in a comforter, sweating, tears rolling down my face, contemplating the loss of my manhood? Nah. The Dutch reach is where, instead of mindlessly opening the door with your left hand and killing a bicyclist, you reach across with your right hand, turn your whole body, see what's behind you, wait for them to clear, then open the door. Thank you, beautiful woman. I'm now aware of the Dutch reach. In fact, I did it this morning...And my booty hole is still intact FTW πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

So, after my post about opening my door and killing hipster bicyclists, a female follower DM'ed me saying "hey smash! I think I have the sol...

Save