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mini phone dump: Cat's Diary Dog's Diary Day 983 of My Captivity Dog food! My favorite thing! A car ride! My favorite 8:00 am My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre littie dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheiess must eat something in order to keep up my strength. 9:30 am thing! A walk in the park! My 9:40 am favorite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing! 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail My favorite thing! The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today i decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since this clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good litle hunter" I am. Bastards! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe... for now. Dinner! My favorite thing! 5:00 pm 7:00 pm - Got to play balll My favorite thing! 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! mini phone dump
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Nice Frathouse: snarling-through-our-smiles I once lost my keys at a frat house. My drunk ass had actually walked home without them, pounded on my apartment door, gotten let in by my rightfully- disgruntled roommate, and proceeded to pass out on the couch. Apparently I puked in the toilet before passing out do not remember The next morning, I schlepped back to the frat house. I stood there, right in front of the front door. This was a novel experience for me. I'd never been at a frat house in broad daylight before. A boy, presumably, of the house, asked me what I was doing. "I lost my keys in here last night, I called back. "I was seeing if I could go in and look for them?" He opened the door and gestured for me o come in. "Go wherever you want." I'd never seen a frat house post-party Derore. Wandering up the stairs a by hungover and still-drunk frat boys sandals and gym shorts, seeking out food and showers like moths to a porch light. A few of them threw puzzled glances my way. I'm sure they thought I was some post-bacchanalia hallucination. I entered one room where a boy was drunkenly watching some Old Yeller- esque movie on a tiny TV in the corner of his room from his bed. "Do you like dog movies?" he asked, voice from the fact that his face was squished against his pillow and half-buried by his blanket. I told him I did. e mumbled again, pleased, and asked what I was doing. I told him I was looking my keys. "Sorry, I haven't seen any keys around bere I didn't doubt him. Twenty minutes had passed. I'd searched just about every bedroom and nuclear- at dumn-site of a bathroom in that house. I'd given up on ever finding my keys and was prepared to beg my roommates' forgiveness and get a new set copied. As I stood there in the hallway, silently a particularly burly frat boy approached me. "You need help with something? "I lost my keys here last night and I can't find them, I've looked everywhere. "What do they look like? I'll put it into the group chat. He was already pulling out his phone. No one ever checks a group chat, I thought, but what the hell. It was worth a shot. "Um, it's just a ring of keys. The keychain is a pink plastic cat, though, like yea big. Like bright pink, you can't miss He nodded, presumably typing this description faithfully into the group chat. "Alright, I sent the message out. Good luck. e turned and left. And with that, A few moments later, I heard a distant and it was getting louder and louder, One assumes that how I felt in that moment was how Simba felt seeing the wildebeest stampede through the ravine as a horde large young men all thundered down the stairs, making a beeling for me. "Someone tell the girl!" One of them shouted, faceless in the mob. "Girl! Hey, GIRL! We found your keys, girl!!! They circled around me. I hadn't felt that old, One of them split himself off from the crowd. "Are these -"he pulled out a ring of keys from his pocket, "your keys? And lo, there was the distinctive bright millennial pink cat keychain dangling off the ring. "Yes,"I whispered. "Oh my god, yes." "EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYY!!" The cheer went up. Turns out he found them in the bathroom upstairs. I thanked them again profusely. There was a scattered round of "no problems" and then, just suddenly as they descended, they all dispersed, like ships in the night. gatorfisch THIS is boys will be boys Nice Frathouse
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deadmomjokes: owl-librarian: #you just made it a higher stakes game of hide and seek Having gone to this University, and having personally played hide and seek in the Harris Fine Arts Center, I guarantee you that NOBODY finds hiders unless they, too, are familiar with the bowels of the HFAC. Once you get down to the practice-room levels, time stops completely and you could walk up the back stair and end up in 1967. The halls change at least 8 times an hour, there’s no way you’re getting back out the same way you came in. When the lights start going off at 10 the whole bottom 3 floors descend into some subsection of the fey realm. I once hid up on the balcony stage access fire-escape thing of a lower-level theater, and 3 faculty walked by under me and not a one of them noticed the hulking, wheezing asthmatic lurking above them, half dangling off a rickety metal ladder that probably wasn’t supposed to be climbed. A fellow hider friend came and found me, and we sat up there for 30 minutes listening to some distant clicking sound before we realized nobody was actually going to find us. We had no cell service, and no internet to reach anyone. We got lost trying to get back out, and once we resurfaced, everyone else was gone, the building was empty, and we just went home to eat ice cream. Nobody knew where we had disappeared to, and nobody bothered to check if we were there before leaving. For all I know, they just assumed we had been lost to the gaping maw of the HFAC basement and when they saw us at church on Sunday it was probably like they’d seen a ghost. None of us ever mentioned it again. Basically what I’m saying is Campus Police had no hope of finding them in the first place and probably lost an officer or two if they actually conducted a real search, because nobody except Senior art majors or veteran custodians actually knows how to navigate that building and make it out in the same dimension they entered from. Not at 11pm anyway. : DISORDERLY Oct. 1 - A group of students playing hide and seek in the Harris Fine Arts Center at 11 p.m. caused a faculty member to call the University Police. The police arrived but were not able to find any of the students. deadmomjokes: owl-librarian: #you just made it a higher stakes game of hide and seek Having gone to this University, and having personally played hide and seek in the Harris Fine Arts Center, I guarantee you that NOBODY finds hiders unless they, too, are familiar with the bowels of the HFAC. Once you get down to the practice-room levels, time stops completely and you could walk up the back stair and end up in 1967. The halls change at least 8 times an hour, there’s no way you’re getting back out the same way you came in. When the lights start going off at 10 the whole bottom 3 floors descend into some subsection of the fey realm. I once hid up on the balcony stage access fire-escape thing of a lower-level theater, and 3 faculty walked by under me and not a one of them noticed the hulking, wheezing asthmatic lurking above them, half dangling off a rickety metal ladder that probably wasn’t supposed to be climbed. A fellow hider friend came and found me, and we sat up there for 30 minutes listening to some distant clicking sound before we realized nobody was actually going to find us. We had no cell service, and no internet to reach anyone. We got lost trying to get back out, and once we resurfaced, everyone else was gone, the building was empty, and we just went home to eat ice cream. Nobody knew where we had disappeared to, and nobody bothered to check if we were there before leaving. For all I know, they just assumed we had been lost to the gaping maw of the HFAC basement and when they saw us at church on Sunday it was probably like they’d seen a ghost. None of us ever mentioned it again. Basically what I’m saying is Campus Police had no hope of finding them in the first place and probably lost an officer or two if they actually conducted a real search, because nobody except Senior art majors or veteran custodians actually knows how to navigate that building and make it out in the same dimension they entered from. Not at 11pm anyway.

deadmomjokes: owl-librarian: #you just made it a higher stakes game of hide and seek Having gone to this University, and having personall...

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deadmomjokes: owl-librarian: #you just made it a higher stakes game of hide and seek Having gone to this University, and having personally played hide and seek in the Harris Fine Arts Center, I guarantee you that NOBODY finds hiders unless they, too, are familiar with the bowels of the HFAC. Once you get down to the practice-room levels, time stops completely and you could walk up the back stair and end up in 1967. The halls change at least 8 times an hour, there’s no way you’re getting back out the same way you came in. When the lights start going off at 10 the whole bottom 3 floors descend into some subsection of the fey realm. I once hid up on the balcony stage access fire-escape thing of a lower-level theater, and 3 faculty walked by under me and not a one of them noticed the hulking, wheezing asthmatic lurking above them, half dangling off a rickety metal ladder that probably wasn’t supposed to be climbed. A fellow hider friend came and found me, and we sat up there for 30 minutes listening to some distant clicking sound before we realized nobody was actually going to find us. We had no cell service, and no internet to reach anyone. We got lost trying to get back out, and once we resurfaced, everyone else was gone, the building was empty, and we just went home to eat ice cream. Nobody knew where we had disappeared to, and nobody bothered to check if we were there before leaving. For all I know, they just assumed we had been lost to the gaping maw of the HFAC basement and when they saw us at church on Sunday it was probably like they’d seen a ghost. None of us ever mentioned it again. Basically what I’m saying is Campus Police had no hope of finding them in the first place and probably lost an officer or two if they actually conducted a real search, because nobody except Senior art majors or veteran custodians actually knows how to navigate that building and make it out in the same dimension they entered from. Not at 11pm anyway. : DISORDERLY Oct. 1 - A group of students playing hide and seek in the Harris Fine Arts Center at 11 p.m. caused a faculty member to call the University Police. The police arrived but were not able to find any of the students. deadmomjokes: owl-librarian: #you just made it a higher stakes game of hide and seek Having gone to this University, and having personally played hide and seek in the Harris Fine Arts Center, I guarantee you that NOBODY finds hiders unless they, too, are familiar with the bowels of the HFAC. Once you get down to the practice-room levels, time stops completely and you could walk up the back stair and end up in 1967. The halls change at least 8 times an hour, there’s no way you’re getting back out the same way you came in. When the lights start going off at 10 the whole bottom 3 floors descend into some subsection of the fey realm. I once hid up on the balcony stage access fire-escape thing of a lower-level theater, and 3 faculty walked by under me and not a one of them noticed the hulking, wheezing asthmatic lurking above them, half dangling off a rickety metal ladder that probably wasn’t supposed to be climbed. A fellow hider friend came and found me, and we sat up there for 30 minutes listening to some distant clicking sound before we realized nobody was actually going to find us. We had no cell service, and no internet to reach anyone. We got lost trying to get back out, and once we resurfaced, everyone else was gone, the building was empty, and we just went home to eat ice cream. Nobody knew where we had disappeared to, and nobody bothered to check if we were there before leaving. For all I know, they just assumed we had been lost to the gaping maw of the HFAC basement and when they saw us at church on Sunday it was probably like they’d seen a ghost. None of us ever mentioned it again. Basically what I’m saying is Campus Police had no hope of finding them in the first place and probably lost an officer or two if they actually conducted a real search, because nobody except Senior art majors or veteran custodians actually knows how to navigate that building and make it out in the same dimension they entered from. Not at 11pm anyway.

deadmomjokes: owl-librarian: #you just made it a higher stakes game of hide and seek Having gone to this University, and having personal...

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randaness: persephone-devotee: probablefox: thescienceofjohnlock: love-in-mind-palace: totallysilvergirl: addignisherlock: mareebrittenford: writing-while-female: spellbound7: butterynutjob: fluffle-talk: rocket-pool: Dying rn @butterynutjob He stopped in front of the mirror and sighed. His penis was just a little too large to be fashionable, and his balls were just a little lopsided. Most days it didn’t bother him, but today he pushed at his genitals, trying to make them look more normal, like the men in magazines. It was hopeless. He dropped his junk in resigned frustration. There were worse things than having too large of a penis, he thought. While, granted, some writers do take the breast thing too far, this comparison doesn’t even make sense. Men don’t obsess about their genitals the way women obsess about their breasts because they’re not in your face all the time (in the case of large boobs). Breasts are just more visible (closer to eye level). Newsflash! Women don’t obsess about our breasts.  No really, we live with them 24/7, we can see friends, and relatives breasts pretty much on demand, hell, we just have to go to get changed at the gym to be inundated with boobs. They are really boring to us (ad while we’re on it, nowhere near as sensitive as so many men seem to think!). The only time a woman might obsess about her breasts is when they’re painful, such as when lactating or wearing an ill-fitting bra, and neither situation is at all sexy. Men obsess over women’s breasts. Women don’t.  I’m just loling about supposedly obsessing over my breasts because they’re near my face. “In your face all the time (in case of large boobs)” So apparently large breasts are gravity-defying objects that rise up to our face until eye level, huh?? Any women out there willing to draw out how this guy’s version of boob reality might look like, because this is just too ridiculous 😂😂😂 I needed this belly-laugh, I really did, so many you did too. I..am..idk 🤣😂🤣 And before anyone says anything about women who are into women: breasts can be attractive, but they’re still mundane and we are perfectly able to not ogle or feel abashed when in the presence of bare-breasted people. dooooo your boobs float highdo they wobble toward the skycan you not help but obsesson your face-invading chestcan you cup them in your handsand bounce them like a marching banddo your boobs. float. high.: "He walked downstairs, noticing how his limp penis pressed against the front of his underwear, his nubile balls dangling hairily below Manataerys Stormborn @SaveTheMayotee Follow If female writers wrote characters of the opposite sex like male writers do 4:12 PM - Sep 8, 2017 Charlotte, NC randaness: persephone-devotee: probablefox: thescienceofjohnlock: love-in-mind-palace: totallysilvergirl: addignisherlock: mareebrittenford: writing-while-female: spellbound7: butterynutjob: fluffle-talk: rocket-pool: Dying rn @butterynutjob He stopped in front of the mirror and sighed. His penis was just a little too large to be fashionable, and his balls were just a little lopsided. Most days it didn’t bother him, but today he pushed at his genitals, trying to make them look more normal, like the men in magazines. It was hopeless. He dropped his junk in resigned frustration. There were worse things than having too large of a penis, he thought. While, granted, some writers do take the breast thing too far, this comparison doesn’t even make sense. Men don’t obsess about their genitals the way women obsess about their breasts because they’re not in your face all the time (in the case of large boobs). Breasts are just more visible (closer to eye level). Newsflash! Women don’t obsess about our breasts.  No really, we live with them 24/7, we can see friends, and relatives breasts pretty much on demand, hell, we just have to go to get changed at the gym to be inundated with boobs. They are really boring to us (ad while we’re on it, nowhere near as sensitive as so many men seem to think!). The only time a woman might obsess about her breasts is when they’re painful, such as when lactating or wearing an ill-fitting bra, and neither situation is at all sexy. Men obsess over women’s breasts. Women don’t.  I’m just loling about supposedly obsessing over my breasts because they’re near my face. “In your face all the time (in case of large boobs)” So apparently large breasts are gravity-defying objects that rise up to our face until eye level, huh?? Any women out there willing to draw out how this guy’s version of boob reality might look like, because this is just too ridiculous 😂😂😂 I needed this belly-laugh, I really did, so many you did too. I..am..idk 🤣😂🤣 And before anyone says anything about women who are into women: breasts can be attractive, but they’re still mundane and we are perfectly able to not ogle or feel abashed when in the presence of bare-breasted people. dooooo your boobs float highdo they wobble toward the skycan you not help but obsesson your face-invading chestcan you cup them in your handsand bounce them like a marching banddo your boobs. float. high.
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two-bendys-one-blog: ATTENTION!! There’s this huge problem spreading across amino, and possibly other social media platforms, and it would be horrible to have this happen to anybody else. There is this horrible thing going around popular aminos called ‘The Blue Whale Challenge’, which is an app that has a link to it. If you do get a link to it from ANYBODY, I advise to immediately block them, and report them. This 50 day challenge, also known as ‘The Blue Whale Game’ is reported to have you do various things to harm yourself, or put yourself in immediate danger. These things include cutting yourself in various ways, (cutting into major veins, carving symbols into your body, generally harming yourself, etc.) going on top of buildings and standing close to the edge, attempting to climb a crane, talking to others suffering the same ordeal, etc. On the 50th day, they tell you to take your life. Jump from a building. Do not do any of this, EVER. There are people that care for you, and there would be people that would miss you horribly. Call the suicide hotline. Get help. Please, stay safe. Do not do this to yourself. If you download this app, they hack into your electronic device and find all of your personal information, and make it so that you can’t remove or delete the app. They will use whatever they can get against you. Your credit card, tell you that they will hunt down your loved ones and kill them, anything. The person that created this game may have been arrested, but there are people still sending the links for this game. Please, spread awareness about this problem so we can stop it before it starts. Stay safe, because I care. There are others that do too. Please, once again, stay safe, and do not download this app, or joke about it in any way.: 1. Carve with a razor 157" on your hand, send a photo to the curator 2 Wake up at 4.20 am. and watch psychedelic and scary videos that curator sends you 3. Cut your arm with a razor along your veins, but not too deep, only 3 cuts, send a photo to the curator 4. Draw a whale on a sheet of papet, send a photo to curator S If you are ready to 'become a whale, carve YES on your leg. If not, cut yourself many times (punish yourself) 6. Task with a cipher 7, Carve 140 on your hand, send a photo to curator 8. Type Lam,whale in your VKontakte status 9. You have to overcome your fear 10. Wake up at 4.20 am and go to a roof (the higher the better) 11. Carve a whale on your hand with a razor, send a photo to curator 12. Watch psychedelic and horror videos all day 13. Listen to music that they (curatore) send you 14. Cut your lip 15, Poke your hand with a needle many times 16 Do something painful to yourself, make yourself sick 17. Go to the highest roof you can find, stand on the edge for some time 18, Go to a bridge, stand on the edge 19. Climb up a crane or at least try to do it 20. The curator checks if you are trustworthy 21 Have a talk with a whale (with another player like you or with a curator) in Skype 22 Go to a roof and sit on the edge with your legs dangling 23 Another task with a cipher 24. Secret task 25 Have a meeting with a whale 26. The curator tells you the date of your death and you have to accept it 27. Wake up at 4.20 a.m, and go to rails (visit any railroad that you can find) 28. Dont talk to anyone all day 29. Make a vow that you're a whale. 30-49. Everyday you wake up at 420am, watch horror videos, listen to music that "they" send you, make 1 cut on your body per day, tak to a whale. 50. Jump off a high building. Take your life. macipopedeleted PLEASE READ: there's tis "game" going around called blue whale. its this group and what they do is look for vulnerable accounts and people. they'll ask them to download an app from the internet to play a game... since it's from the internet they hack your phone and the app won't be able to be deleted. so now they have all your info. this is the sinister part; this "game" lasts a course of 50 days and each day is a new task or challenge (picture). some challenges are cutting or harming yourself or carving symbols in yor skin or even as far as stabbing yourself. they' ask you to send picture proof and if you don't they threaten you. they say they'l "kill your family" or do everything possible with the information they have about u from downloading the app (credit card info, etc.). t goes on and on and on until the 50th day where the final task is. they say you need to kill yourself to win which is absolutely absurd and inhumane. it started in russia and more than 150 teens have died from it and now it's spreading to the uk and possibly more places. i wish from the bottom of my heart this was some urban legend but t's not. it's real and these stories are all over the media. so please, if anyone you don't know dms u suspicious things or asks you to download something, don't trust them. once you download it you can't go back. STAY SAFE SPREAD AWARENESS, AND REPOST two-bendys-one-blog: ATTENTION!! There’s this huge problem spreading across amino, and possibly other social media platforms, and it would be horrible to have this happen to anybody else. There is this horrible thing going around popular aminos called ‘The Blue Whale Challenge’, which is an app that has a link to it. If you do get a link to it from ANYBODY, I advise to immediately block them, and report them. This 50 day challenge, also known as ‘The Blue Whale Game’ is reported to have you do various things to harm yourself, or put yourself in immediate danger. These things include cutting yourself in various ways, (cutting into major veins, carving symbols into your body, generally harming yourself, etc.) going on top of buildings and standing close to the edge, attempting to climb a crane, talking to others suffering the same ordeal, etc. On the 50th day, they tell you to take your life. Jump from a building. Do not do any of this, EVER. There are people that care for you, and there would be people that would miss you horribly. Call the suicide hotline. Get help. Please, stay safe. Do not do this to yourself. If you download this app, they hack into your electronic device and find all of your personal information, and make it so that you can’t remove or delete the app. They will use whatever they can get against you. Your credit card, tell you that they will hunt down your loved ones and kill them, anything. The person that created this game may have been arrested, but there are people still sending the links for this game. Please, spread awareness about this problem so we can stop it before it starts. Stay safe, because I care. There are others that do too. Please, once again, stay safe, and do not download this app, or joke about it in any way.

two-bendys-one-blog: ATTENTION!! There’s this huge problem spreading across amino, and possibly other social media platforms, and it wo...

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laughoutloud-club: Dog Diary Vs. Cat Diary: Excerpts from a Dog's Diary... 8:00 am- Dog food! My favorite thing! 9.30 am- A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am- A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am- Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 PM- Lunch! My favorite thing! 1:00 PM Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 PM-Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00 PM- Milk bones! My favorite thing! 7:00 PM Got to play ball! My favorite thing 8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 PM -Sleeping on the bed! M y favorite thing Excerpts from a Cat's Diary? Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a good little hunter'I am. Bastards. There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking, I must try this again tomorrow-but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cel, so he is safe. For now THE META PICTURE laughoutloud-club: Dog Diary Vs. Cat Diary
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20 Writing Mistakes Even Native Speakers Make: /WRITING MISTAKES Even Native Speakers Make 1. its vs. it's 2. there vs. their vs. its an adverb, in or at that place contraction ot it is or "it has There is only one lemon le I think i's going io their 3. lose vs. looseey Ce they're a verb, to come to be sufer the loss of Mant it ore foma? : 4. whose vs. whos an adjective, free or released from attachment not bound together, not strict ' possessive form of who a contraction for who is 5. your vs. you're 6. write vs. right re contraction tor 'you areverb to express going to amare em d it m 7. me vs. s the ogt way to do things object subject : 8, effect vs. affect χ Troy "packaU16 send mywle They ave going to sernd ime verb, to act on: to produce a c om gong to the beech 10. accept vs. except accept - werb, to take or 9. gone vs. went receive went is the past teree of the verb "to go" whereas except e the past Everone excep me deoided 0g0 disaster for plural form 12. ending sentences with prepositions The most common error is to put It has also become common to use rophe has no When you appropria or to end Cets Doga,lotS ABC Easy reminder 13. the dangling participle The da 14. could of vs. n could have your writing coud of is aten misused pehaps to couild have eoetsbles thaer were cooling on tEna : 16. here vs. hear adverb, in this place; in this spot chichin who were sunburned andam here and the fo 15. irregardless to be within vs. regardless perceve by ear will naveroone micte se be a valid word. 17. to vs. too vs. two· 18" then vs. than to then immediately or scon i too adverb, also than used after comparative noun, one plus one 2 20. were vs where vs. we' re 19. Comma Splice were Occurs when two clauses are C , adverb, in or at PLEV what place re n acontraction of 'we are 20 Writing Mistakes Even Native Speakers Make

20 Writing Mistakes Even Native Speakers Make

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That was a rollercoaster of emotionsomg-humor.tumblr.com: fez igotcthulhu An Incomplete List of Noteable People T 've Delivered Pizzas TO tybaar It's coming up on a year now since I got my current job as a pizza delivery gir, and I thought this would be a good time to delve into the little ever- expanding WTFPIZZZA" note I keep on my cell that helps me remember some of my more, uh-interesting deliveries So without further ado and in no particular order, here's some pizza customers who left a lasting impression on me thus far -A bearded man who answered the door and periodically spat blood into a crusted Harley-Davidson coffee mug while counting out his cash. - A woman who sipped me a business card (in lieu of tip) for a laser tattoro removal clinic, explaining In case you want to bring your mutilated skin back to how God intended it to be. - At least three Batmans so far, but only one who did the voice. -An elderly Spanish woman who meekly presented me with a (rather classy) pear-handled.32 snub nosed revolver and asked if I knew how to load it (1 do) and also, if I could load it for her (1 didn't). A group of EMT's hanging out in the back of an ambulance at a recenty extinguished (but still smouldering) house fire. -A man with a thick Alabama accent who admonished me for standing in front of his mailbox while I waited for him to answer the door. He then explained how this was a federal offense because I was "obstructing the mail system and demanded my social security number so he could report me to the proper authorities A group of young teenage gils (like 14-16) who begged me to buy a case of Bud Light (ew why) and bring it back to them. - A hotel room full of badass middle-aged women all dressed as Professor McGonagall from the Hamy Potter films, who were also completely wasted on Jello shots. They kept encouraging me to stay and party with them. A 20-something dude who answered the door with an unsheathed katana dangling through a belt loop on his jeans Multiple instances of people asking if I would sell them pot. (bitch get your own dealer sheesh) -A guy who slipped a twenty directly into my shirt because I apparently was the "spitting image" of his deceased daughter. A woman who admonished me for driving a Mazda, and wrote get a real car in the tip portion of my credit receipt. - A very drunk dude who gave me his iPhone and had me take a bunch of Myspace-esque pictures of the both of us. He did the duck lips thing in every shot Multiple prank deliveries (joke's on you motherfucker, I get paid for the gas AND I eat the pizzas you ordered) An elderly man who wrote FUCK OFF as his signature on a credit receipt -A thirty-something guy who begged to get his order for free because he works so hard". He visibly teared up and sniffled when I told him I couldn't do anything. - A dudebro wearing a bath robe and socks+ sandals (indoors) who straight up wordlessly yanked the pizzas out of my hands without paying and shut the door. Multiple knockings were of no avail A woman who angrily demanded to see my ID because she refused to believe my claims that I'm female. She proceeded to snatch my drivers icense out of my hand, run back into her house and show it to her children while pointing back at me. - A kid no older than 14 who desperately tried to convince me to play WoW on the free custom server he was playing on. (But it has double XPI) - A guy who spent the entire time I was there digging a (impressively large) booger out of his nose. He proceeded to smear it on, thankfully HIS copy of the receipt -An on-duty cop who flagged me down by intercepting me on the road before I got to the police station and puling me over to get his pizza. A drill instructor looking-guy who filled out his entire credit card receipt, specifically wrote 0.00" in the tip portion, then proceeded to write out a check for seventy-eight cents and handed it to me. It said pizza tip" in the For section - A furious lady who yelled at me for a solid five minutes (1 kept track) all about how long it took for her delivery to get to her. She then tipped me an extra ten bucks on a six dollar order. I dunno. An incredibly stoned teenager trying and failing to look sober. When I complimented his Adventure Time wallet (which was super cute) and asked where he got it, he immediately looked temified, sat down on the Obligatory naked man with unimpressive penis -A chick at a house party who answered the door and immediately tuned to vomit into her mailbox. -A surty Korean mom with an amazing shoulder tattoo of a baby giving birth to a full-grown woman. - A man who lived in one of those mini-mansions inside a gated community, who sported a seemingly massive collection of what appeared to be solid glass spheres of varying size and color. I only got a quick glance in his house but there had to be hundreds of them in display racks, tables, shelves-everywhere. -A group of 20-something guys who challenged me to sing the original Pokemon theme song, which I did. And perfectly, I may add. - A completely iced-out musclebound gangster kid who was blaring Regina Spektor so loud and with so much bass I actually couldnt hear anything he was saying. -An elderty guy who deadpan asked me if I knew anyone who could score him hollowpoint bullets. - An adorable older lesbian couple who were mortified that they didnt have any extra money for a tip, so they gave me a big sack of pistachios instead. It took me three weeks to finish the bag. this was so worth reading Source: tybaar #story time aths is.. 219,895 notes realy cool actualy That was a rollercoaster of emotionsomg-humor.tumblr.com
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matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll: regularlyerratic: zaubermauz: haveabiscxitpotter: our-hideout-world: “”EXPECTO PATRONUM!” Harry yelled. Nothing happened. Harry gripped his dick tighter and shook it up and down until a thick, whispy white substance protruded from the end of it.”  “Panting, Harry fell forwards over the hydrangea bush, straightened up and stared around. There were several faces peering through various nearby windows. Harry stuffed his dick hastily back into his jeans and tried to look innocent.” “He had not been this close to Malfoy since he had watched him muttering to Crabbe and Goyle during Dumbledore’s speech about Cedric. He could feel a kind of ringing in his ears. His hand gripped his dick under his robes” LOL dark-blueeeee “My dick.” Said Ron. “Look at my dick.” It had snapped, almost in two, and the tip was dangling limply, held on by only a few spare splinters. : REPLACE THE WORD "WAND" WITH "DICK IN ANY SENTENCE IN HARRY POTTER AND REBLOG YOUR BEST! MEMEFUL.COM matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll: regularlyerratic: zaubermauz: haveabiscxitpotter: our-hideout-world: “”EXPECTO PATRONUM!” Harry yelled. Nothing happened. Harry gripped his dick tighter and shook it up and down until a thick, whispy white substance protruded from the end of it.”  “Panting, Harry fell forwards over the hydrangea bush, straightened up and stared around. There were several faces peering through various nearby windows. Harry stuffed his dick hastily back into his jeans and tried to look innocent.” “He had not been this close to Malfoy since he had watched him muttering to Crabbe and Goyle during Dumbledore’s speech about Cedric. He could feel a kind of ringing in his ears. His hand gripped his dick under his robes” LOL dark-blueeeee “My dick.” Said Ron. “Look at my dick.” It had snapped, almost in two, and the tip was dangling limply, held on by only a few spare splinters.
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The most misused english wordsomg-humor.tumblr.com: MEMEPIX.COM 12 of the Most Misused English Words Peruse means to review 01. PERUSE something in depth, while many people think it means to skim over something quickly. Capital refers to a city or province that holds the government officials of a country, while the specific building that those government officials meet in is called the capitol. CAPITAL VS. CAPITOL 02. Red alert! This is a made up word. It is often meant to be the opposite of regardless, but for now, this word does not exist in the dictionary 03. DICTIONARY IRREGARDLESS Lightening means to light up and is used as a verb, while lightning is a noun that refers to the flashes of light that occur during storms. LIGHTENING VS. LIGHTNING 04. Lay means to set an object in a location, while lie means to rest on something 05. LAY VS. LIE "Bemused" and "amused"are not related as many people think. Bemused means to be puzzled at something 06. BEMUSED AFFECT VS. EFFECT 07. Effect is a noun referring to the result of something, while affect is a verb referring to influencing that result. Farther is a distance between FARTHER VS. FURTHER 08. two objects and/or people. while further means to advance or progress. Complement can be used as a noun or verb for something that completes a whole, while a compliment is also a noun or verb used to communicate an admiration of something or COMPLEMENT VS. COMPLIMENT 09. someone. ILLUSION VS. ALLUSION Illusion is a noun that refers to 10. a mistaken belief, while allusion is a noun that refers to a reference. Flaunt means to show FLAUNT VS. FLOUT something off, while flout means to communicate a dislike for something or 11. DISLIKE someone. Hung is in the past tense and refers to dangling something above the ground, while hanged is alsoa past tense that refers to executing someone by holding him or her above the ground at his or her neck. HUNG VS. HANGED 12. FUNNY STUFF ON MEMEPIX.COM The most misused english wordsomg-humor.tumblr.com

The most misused english wordsomg-humor.tumblr.com

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