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Apple, Bless Up, and Drake: Three weeks ago she was at the pound - now she's transformed to Action Pup.! So u know how u get in the car and Apple Music just wil out and play whatever well on the way to the gym this mernin I hop in the whip on this cold a$$ 12 degree day and my speakers start blasting Miguel, Banana Clip. FAM! I donโ€™t even remember downloading this album! But this joint HARD! ๐Ÿ˜‚ I felt like Miguel lil 5 foot a$$ was next to me serenading me, singing in the passenger seat egging me on go hard at the gym! I was Iike wow this adorable lil munchkin go hard! And then it dawned on me ๐Ÿค”...5 footers really be going the hardest! ๐Ÿ› Kevin Hart - 5 foot. Tom cruise - 5 foot. Shiggy the comedian who invented the drake Kiki dance (DRAaAaAaAake! ๐Ÿ˜‚) - 5 foot. They out there ... ENTERTAINING. Ladies donโ€™t shleep. I know most of u pretty tings got a 6-4 cutoff and I donโ€™t blame yโ€™all! But maybe what u need is a 5 footer who really gon do the most! Serenade u in the shower! Make u laugh! โ€œSmash Iโ€™m not tryina hear that, my son in fifth grade already taller than that I canโ€™t bring a man into my house who reach to my sonโ€™s chestโ€ BB ๐Ÿ‘ GIRL ๐Ÿ‘ DO ๐Ÿ‘ WHAT ๐Ÿ‘ U ๐Ÿ‘ FEEL ๐Ÿ‘. And by the way, for all you men who only swipe right on short women may I ask you to consider finding yourself a tall drink of water in 2019. I used to talk to a volleyball player who was 6-1 and let me tell you fam she was a sight to behold. Legs so long you could slide down them h0es like a fire pole. Cheeks like beach balls. She was a whole lotta woman! A foot long sub for the price of a six inch famalam! I am telling you, you might not think itโ€™s your thing but u might hecc around and fall in love. โ€œBut smash, Iโ€™m 5-11 which is really a lie Iโ€™m actually 5-7 and three quarter but I say Iโ€™m 5-11 - if she 6-1 then in heels she finna be 6-4 fam Iโ€™m gon look like her handsome middle school son.โ€ Well bish embrace that! Find you a Mama! Maybe your mama was wiling out when you were growing up and u need a woman to HECC around and spank u. Maybe eem spike you! ๐Ÿ Maybe thatโ€™s what you been missing all your life. โ€œsmash you really Wilding today.โ€ INDEEDY! Smash simply raising this hypothesis for ya consideration lmao BLESS UP ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ (Slide 2: @tatertot_thecorgi_)
Advice, America, and Bless Up: The moment you tell her to 'go get it! Say bruh have u ever craved flaming hot Cheetos covered in nacho cheese and jalapeรฑos with a sundae next to it that has mangoes, ice cream, sprinkles, a banana and a whole bunch of other sweet delicious things that donโ€™t necessarily go together? โ€œSmash is u pregnant? U suppose to be a man? Where these cravings come from?โ€ I am a man and I am not pregnant cot damn it is called leg day at the gym and my quads jello RN and this place is real asf it is called La Michoacana ๐Ÿฆ๐Ÿ˜. You do not have to be carrying a baby to enjoy this heavenly place, but if you are, it probably make it that much better ๐Ÿคฐ๐Ÿป. You can find these joints everywhere. There are a bunch in Chicago and they are splendid. โ€œwow smash you really gon stunt on us like that, I live in Bombacrab Missouri, we donโ€™t have anything that spicy here.โ€ BISH YES U DO, LOOK ๐Ÿ‘ FOR ๐Ÿ‘ THE ๐Ÿ‘ MEXICANS ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ˜‚. I been telling yโ€™all they got treasures for days u just gotta be exploratory. Perhaps a Mangonada? Lil mango wif chamoy sauce, mangos, lime juice, chili powder? โ€œHOT SPICES ON FRUIT SMASH U EITHER WILDING OR U REALLY MEXICAN.โ€ well I am not Mexican so that mean I am wilding, yes, AND? ๐Ÿ˜‚ just put in ya mouth. personally I eat a$$ so Iโ€™ll try anything once ... my palette very experimental ๐Ÿฅณ. The worst that can happen is that you love it and then you start making mangonada for yourself and then put on your tinder profile that you make a mean mangonada and you get swiped by a young investment banker named Julio who grew up around Mexico city and then got a degree in engineering and moved to America to kill it in banking and now you getting married and taking trips first class on his frequent flyer miles and your friend Megan is like โ€œdamn my boyfriend Jim is still sleeping on my couch, playing fork knife on my TV and stealing money out of my purse how did you get to be balling like this?โ€ And you can say I took smashโ€™s advice and started making spicy mango drinks and now Iโ€™m pregnant with my third mixed baby and we going to Paris next month. Boom! Bless up ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚
Ass, Bad, and College: Anonymous 12/01/18(Sat)06:19:39 No.49597417 parents spent most of childhood fighting dad was alwavs pissed >has a shitty fucking sense of humour ("haha I'm gonna beat you if you dont this and this") vividly remember getting slapped hard as fuck while we were taking a walk and I decided to skip was maybe 6 years old >broke my toys >mother never did anything says she's always there for me and the only one who actually acknowledged that their long ass divorce could possibly be a really shitty experience for me lies and manipulates people cheated on my dad when I was 9 took the money I got for birthdays and didn't give it back >dad's gf is actually kinda alright >she relays every thing i say to my dad or grandparents though tells me I'm indecent and rude when I curl up on a chair while at grandma's house extremely concerned about how other's view her typical woman.jpg have a family they all hate me because of my mum the only family member I truly love and would miss if they were gone is my aunt whom I see 1-2 a year just wanna get a well-paying and fulfilling job and move far away from all of the bullshit Anonymous 12/01/18(Sat)05:50:32 No.49597109 2/3 got accepted to good college >mom immediately thought that I would go on a drug/drink/sex bender and get into trouble >demand I install tracking software for the smart phone she gave me "how can I trust you after all you did to me in high school?!" largely "encouraged" to choose a particular engineering major extended family, particularly mom's side, made very clear to me the consequences for changing majors, that it would be held over my head for the rest of my life (they did it to cousin) >went there felt freedom for the first time in my life did not drug/drink/sex bender or get into trouble still maintained good grades throughout (dropped only 1 class, A's and B's in a very competitive program while taking a minor and premed courses) develop some of my own non-academic interests and hobbies which family grudgingly accepted (though still to this day try to pressure me to sell it all o stupidest thing I did was ask out high school oneitis, who proceeded to use my crime against me as a cheap way to gain connections for the rest of the 4 years nearly dropped out of major over that only thing that stopped me was seeing that it would take 5 years to graduate, and that it would be impossible to explain to family heartbreak is temporary, family is forever amirite? >powered through major despite slowly dying every day surrounded by people who hated me with no way out >family never knevw constant pressure destroyed me slowly: I'm surel have an undiagnosed anxiety disorder graduated get rejected by every medical program in the country >by this time mom cut connections with family who had always been treating her like shit thought things would get better, at least at home Anonymous 12/01/18(Sat)06:03:04 No.49597258 3/3 forced to take job at shithole startup witnessed and experienced unbelievable shit: racism, sexism, and just plain cruelty from rich degenerates playing company >mom never believed me when I explained thought I was exagerating, and would gaslight me even in middle of conversation >to this day I still hear "it's not that bad" when l make the mistake of talking about what happened over there I have since changed jobs and am still working on my ultimate goal, but I'm more of a wreck than l ever was. Thanks to being berated by my parents for being ungrateful, and constantly having to jump through a million hoops to try to win some love I'm extremely emotionally needy, especially towards women I percieve as mothering figures. It's to the point where I'm pushing away a formerly close friend and mentor who had been extremely kind to me The worst thing is that through all this, my mom (and probably nearly everyone else) is going to say it's all my fault for not being "strong" or independent" enough. For example a few weeks ago I was stupid enough to tell my mom how I hated how her relatives coerced me so hard into staying in my major, even when my heart and brain were both begging to be allowed to run, when they probably couldn't even tell me what my degree was in, and this made me too scared to leave since l feared a trickle down punishment from her. She told me l "stayed in there for myself" and it was all on me since "it's not [herl style" to directly confront others (although I have witnessed this several times). I have to keep pretending everything is alright though it is getting harder every day. There's nobody I can talk to about this: after all, who would believe me? Anon has a bad childhood