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Beer, Life, and Love: I don't know what he's doing, I just told him to FLOSS! Peter Griffin here, and boy oh boy is THIS ONE a doozy! ILOLed (that's an acronym the young people of today use, and it means "laugh out loud," in case you didn't know) out loud so hard I almost spat my beer out all over my computer and ruined it! Boy would THAT ever be un-epic! Without my computer, how would I ever be able to look at these hilarious maymays and explain them for all of you? Not to mention I'd no longer be able to watch the latest compilations of Ben Shapiro DESTROYing l*btards epically. Explaining me-mes and watching leftists get epically pwned are the only two things Ireally love in life anymore, and ifI were to lose both at the same time, I honestly don't know what I'd do. Probably be so overcome with grief at my life losing all meaning, that I'd be unable to continue living my now-pointless life and put a gun in my mouth. Wow, Ireally went off track there, didn't I? Anyway, this is so epically hilarious because it features a young person, probably no older than fifteen, at the dentist's office But here's the kicker: he's not in the dentist chair or anything! No, instead, he's up and about, swinging his arms around and moving his hips! In the foreground, we have a woman wearing a surgical mask, whom we can reasonably assume is the dentist. She observes the young man confusedly, and proclaims, "I don't know what he's doing, Ijust told him to FLOSS!" See, the dentist is presumably referring to the act of rubbing a thin string between one's teeth to remove excess plaque. That's the historical definition of the word floss," which has been commercially available since 1882. Our young friend, however, seems to have other ideas. See, more recently, "floss" has come to refer to a dance move in the popular online game, Fortnite. The dance is characterized by "a lot of fast arms and hip swings as though using a giant invisible piece of floss," which is where the name comes from. Additionally, the child is drawn to resemble one Russell Horning, popularly known as "Backpack Kid," who helped popularize the dance. With this information in mind, it can be inferred that the dentist is advising the boy to keep his teeth clean, by flossing, but since he's such a gamer, he instead believes that she is telling him to do the Fortnite dance. Now THAT is epic! I tried playing Fortnite myself, a few times, but couldn't really get into it. There's too many
Crying, Head, and Kkk: It's just a tattoo," he says, when the silence goes on so long that we have nearly fallen over the edge of it into a pit of black nothingness. "It's not as if I came home and said I'd got someone pregnant. It seems to me, unhinged by shock, that this might have been the better option. His father says, "Where?" "On my arm," he says, and touches his bicep through his shirt. His lovely shoulder. For three days, I can't speak to my son. I can hardly bear to look at him. I decide this is rational. The last thing we need, I think, is an explosion of white-hot words that In any case, I'm not even sure what it is I want to say. In my mind's eye I stand there, a bitter old woman with pursed lips wringing my black-gloved hands. He's done the one thing that I've said for years, please d upset me if you did this. And now it's happened. So there's nothing left to say everyone carries around for the rest of their lives, e ngraved on their hearts. on't do this. It would really So I cry instead. I have a lump in my throat that stops me from eating. I feel as if someone has died. I keep thinking of his skin, his precious skin, inked like a pig carcasS My husband asks, "Have you seen it yet?" I shake my head. Like a child, I am hoping that if I keep my eyes tightly shut the whole thing will disappear It's his body," he says gently. "His choice. But what if he wants to be a lawyer? A lawyer? "Or an accountant." He'll be wearing a suit. No one will ever know. And he doesn't want to be a I know. I know tifalockharts this article about some woman's 21 y/o son coming home from school w/ a tattoo is THE funniest thing i have seen today tifalockharts On day three, still in a fog of misery, I say to him, "Shall we talk?" We sit down with cups of coffee. I open my mouth to speak and end up crying instead. I say, "You couldn't have done anything to hurt me more." job I don't even want. I say, "But you're not. You're different. I will never look at you in the same way again. It's a visceral feeling. Maybe because I'm your mother All those years of looking after your body-taking you to the dentist and making you drink milk and worrying about green leafy vegetables and sunscreen and cancer from mobile phones. And then you let some stranger inject ink under your skin. To me, it seems like self-mutilation. If you'd lost your arm in a car accident, I would have understood. I would have done everything to make you feel better But this -this is desecration. And I hate it." 'M SHRIEKING regretityet You guys. gutmeats The stars are not wanted now: put out every one; pack up the moon and dismantle the sun. What the fuck mustlearntoadult SOMEONE LINK THE ARTICLE wepon a classi doctorangelpenguin As I was reading this I kept waiting for the tattoo to be revealed as like a nazi symbol or some racist shit like for the kkk of something but nope..... She was just THAT hurt by ink lilaccoloursplash You left out the BEST part-stand, a lone tyrannosaurus, bellowing at a world i don't understand." spontaneoustornadoes This woman's writing skills holy fuck Source: elsas #give them to me #that stars moon sun quote? raw as F U C K 49,991 notes I thought it was satire. It wasnt.