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epicjohndoe: This Man Should Write A Novel: I almost died today. Here is the true story So Iwas derping in my backyard today, picking up dog crap. The whole time, my dog was just sitting there watching me, enjoying the sight. So I go to the small section in between my trampoline and my fence. Now if any of you haven't seen my trampoline, it is really old and there are these black foam things on the bars that used to hold up a net, but they are mostly destroyed now. So I walk in the narrow space, and I get completely covered by the hugest web I've ever felt. All over my face, all over my chest and shoulders. I freak out, but I realize that there is no worries. I see no spider, and it would have to be a big ass spider to concoct such a glorious web. Well, sure enough, in the middle of my struggle to break free, I look up, and slowly, ever so slowly, I see the huge, black-brown mass of a spider about the size of my fist crawl out of some old, decaying foam protectors. I stare at it; it stares back. I look closely for any threads connecting us, and there, glinting back at me with sunlight, is one strand of spider web, connecting the hulk spider to my face. It realizes the fact at the same time as me, and thinks, "Yes! This boy's eye sockets will make excellent breeding holes for my eggs!! and starts a full on crawling sprint towards me. I freak out, and begin to struggle even more and more to release myself from this web. It reaches the halfway mark and sees me begin to escape, so it goes for gold. The Hail Mary play. A daring leap straight for the head. Time slows down. This thing has all legs extended, blocking out the sun. A sure death for me. My left arm breaks free from the web. This could be my chance! A quick and decisive left cross reaches the spider JUST in time knocking the behemoth against the fence. It looks dazed; begins to squirm around on the ground, preparing for a counteroffensive. I don't give it a chance. I take the poop shovel in both my hands, shout a battle cry of pure victorious slaughter and smash my enemy into a crumpled pile, each strike emanating a loud crunch of the monster's body.I emerge the survivor in this battle. Thank you video games, for my improved reaction time, lest I fall victim to fate Unlike Comment Share 3 hours ago you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com epicjohndoe: This Man Should Write A Novel
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THIS QUICK TEST COULD TELL YOU WHY YOUR BODY HURTS I know what you're thinking...why do a bodyweight squat? 😣 Could I be a little obsessed squats? I may be 😏 but I will never tell you. HOWEVER a bodyweight squat is a great way to look at multiple joints moving within a given motion. More specifically we are looking to see what the feet and knees are doing in the bottom position. . So drop into a squat and compare your bottom position to @quaddoc's. Are you the ✅ or ❌? . Ideally, we are looking for the knees to track out over the middle of the foot so you give the pelvis room to rotate over the femur. If you collapse in, the hip internally rotates and can lead to a pinching feeling in the groin or crease of the hip. . Fun Anatomy Fact 🤓: Pelvis + Femur = Hip. Think of it like a ball and socket. . If you are the ❌ fear not. This simply means we got some work to do such as building up hip and foot stability. Start by gripping the ground with the foot, especially at the big toe and then pull the knees out wide so that you engage the glutes. Adding a light band around the knees can be great feedback to make sure you push out throughout the movement. . You may also see variations as in one foot may cave while the other one doesn't. If you are seeing your joints buckling under your own weight, there's a good chance it's happening anytime you add speed or load, so hopefully this sheds some 💡 light as to why you are feeling pain-discomfort in your daily life. . Comment below 👇 share your results. MyodetoxOrlando Myodetox: Body Weight Squat quaddoc Derp Face Knee Collapse Valgus Arch Falls No Foot Activation Happy face No Knee Collapse Foot Muscles Activated Arch held THIS QUICK TEST COULD TELL YOU WHY YOUR BODY HURTS I know what you're thinking...why do a bodyweight squat? 😣 Could I be a little obsessed squats? I may be 😏 but I will never tell you. HOWEVER a bodyweight squat is a great way to look at multiple joints moving within a given motion. More specifically we are looking to see what the feet and knees are doing in the bottom position. . So drop into a squat and compare your bottom position to @quaddoc's. Are you the ✅ or ❌? . Ideally, we are looking for the knees to track out over the middle of the foot so you give the pelvis room to rotate over the femur. If you collapse in, the hip internally rotates and can lead to a pinching feeling in the groin or crease of the hip. . Fun Anatomy Fact 🤓: Pelvis + Femur = Hip. Think of it like a ball and socket. . If you are the ❌ fear not. This simply means we got some work to do such as building up hip and foot stability. Start by gripping the ground with the foot, especially at the big toe and then pull the knees out wide so that you engage the glutes. Adding a light band around the knees can be great feedback to make sure you push out throughout the movement. . You may also see variations as in one foot may cave while the other one doesn't. If you are seeing your joints buckling under your own weight, there's a good chance it's happening anytime you add speed or load, so hopefully this sheds some 💡 light as to why you are feeling pain-discomfort in your daily life. . Comment below 👇 share your results. MyodetoxOrlando Myodetox

THIS QUICK TEST COULD TELL YOU WHY YOUR BODY HURTS I know what you're thinking...why do a bodyweight squat? 😣 Could I be a little obsesse...

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