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Girls, School, and Target: INDEPENDENT LIKE Voices There is a way to revent so many eenage girls being deprešsed - but no one wants to admit it ity the girl who's wearing a bra before she leaves primary school already she's ventured over the top, into a no man's land of groping, cat calls and adult disapproval ithelpstodream: excerpt: “If girls say they are depressed, we owe it to them to listen. Furthermore, we can no longer afford to ignore the effect of a highly gendered culture on the mental wellbeing of girls. If we’re able to draw links between masculinity and high suicide rates in men, we can surely do the same with femininity and female despair. If the past is another country, female adolescence is a war zone. Puberty transforms you into a walking target overnight. If you’re lucky, other girls get there before you and become your shields. Pity the girl who’s wearing a bra before she leaves primary school; already she’s ventured over the top, into a no man’s land of groping, cat calls and adult disapproval. Girls need support in getting through this. They need coping methods. But they also need a different society, one which permits them to take up space, to express their fears and passions rather than internalise them. It should not be the role of mental health services to patch girls up and arm them to face another onslaught of patriarchal slings and arrows. There has to be a ceasefire. Girls shouldn’t have to be so brave.” read more: http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/mental-health-teenage-girls-quarter-rise-patriarchy-sexism-abuse-a7957441.html

ithelpstodream: excerpt: “If girls say they are depressed, we owe it to them to listen. Furthermore, we can no longer afford to ignore the...

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Tumblr, Best, and Blog: uncannysource: You counter despair with hope. You strive forever for the best you are capable to be! Therein lies the victory!

uncannysource: You counter despair with hope. You strive forever for the best you are capable to be! Therein lies the victory!

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Scream, Tumblr, and Anxiety: malinconie: Edvard Munch, Anxiety, 1894The Scream, 1893and Despair, 1893-1894

malinconie: Edvard Munch, Anxiety, 1894The Scream, 1893and Despair, 1893-1894

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Alive, Barney, and Dinosaur: bearsister Is there any hatred stronger than the rage kids get towards Barney the dinosaur as soon as they are just a little too old for Barney the dinosaur 30-seconds-to-marx So, this guy, Martin Pistorius, fell into a coma when he was 12 years old and eventually awoke completely paralyzed, at least physically. He was misdiagnosed. Doctors believed he was in a completely vegetative state, but in reality, he had regained full consciousness and awareness. He just didn't possess any motor function, so he couldn't communicate to anyone that he was alive in there. He lived this way for 12 years before he overcame it by sheer force of will and was given the tools to communicate. He tells his story in his book, Ghost Boy. Since then he's also been the subject of the first episode of Invisibilia on NPR and had his own TedTalk. Anyway, the breaking point that incited his plan of escape was being forced to watch Barney reruns all day, everyday at his care center. Sitting in front of the TV, he learned to tell the time by the shadows on the wall. If he had time he could know when Barney would end. With the ability to measure his days, he was able to pull himself out of the void and ultimately start down the path to recovery Today, Martin can communicate whatever he wants with the help of a computer program but there's one thing he can't articulate: "I cannot even express to you how much I hated Barney So it turns out that the primal hatred people have toward Barney is strong enough to pull a disembodied consciousness out of the abyss of existential despair and into the physical world out of pure spite Source: bearsister 98,493 notes This is actually true!!

This is actually true!!

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Brains, Girls, and Lazy: icecream-eaterrr I just heard this woman say "you procrastinate because you are afraid of rejection. It's a defense mechanism, you are trying to protect yourself without even trying." and I think I just realized what was wrong with me eupheme-butterfly Yep, this is a very, very common reason for procrastinating. It's also why procrastination, even though it's often associated with laziness, is a fairly common trait in a lot of people with anxiety and perfectionism issues dsudis This idea You're not lazy, you're protecting yourself- hit me really hard while reading, of all things, Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are, which turns out to be as much about how brains work and how relationships work as how orgasms work. In an early part of the book she talks about Fight/Flight/Freeze responses to threats-the example she uses is being attacked by a lion You fight, if you think you can defeat the lion; you run away, if you think you can escape the lion; and when you think there's nothing you can do, when you feel the lion's jaws closing on your neck, you freeze, because dying will hurt less that way. You just stop and go numb and wait for it to be over, because that is the last way to protect any scrap of yourself Later in the book, she talks about the brain process that motivates you to pursue incentives, describing it as a little monitor that gauges your progress toward a goal versus the effort you're expending. If it feels like too little progress is being made you get frustrated, get angry, and, eventually, you.. despair. You stop trying You go numb and wait for it to be over, because that's the only way left to protect yourself. So it occurred to me that these are basically the same thing-when facing a difficult task, where failure feels like a Threat, you can get frustrated and fight it out-INCREASE DOING THE THING until you get where you're going Or you can flee-try to solve the problem some other way than straight on, changing your goal, changing your approach, whatever. Fight or flight But both of those only apply when you think the problem is solvable, right? If the problem isn't solvable, then you freeze. You despair And if you're one of those Smart Kids (Smart Girls, especially) who was praised for being smart so that all tasks in the world came to be divided between Ooh This Is Easy and I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO THAT AND IF I FUCK UP I WILL DIE, then... it's pretty easy to see how you lose the frustration/anger stage of working toward a goal, because your brain goes straight to freeze/despair every time. Things are easy and routine or they are straight up impossible So, you know, any time you manage to pull yourself up and give that lion a smack on the nose, or go stumbling away from it instead of just falling down like a fainting goat as soon as you spot it on the horizon, give yourself a gold star from me. Because this is some deeply wired survival-brain stuff. Even if logically you know that that term paper is not a lion, it really is like that sometimes Source: icecream-eaterrr 517,124 notes Procrastination
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Advice, Brains, and Coca-Cola: Peanut butter spaceorphan18: sulkingheals: downtroddendeity: jacemp3: monkeysaysficus: audrey-hepbae: catchymemes: 10 tricks you didn’t know you could do with your food. By Blossom The internet went from showing food recipe videos to alchemy in less than a decade. There’s going to be a quick video on how to make the philosopher’s stone from tomato sauce next week.  I WANNA DRINK THE TRANSPARENT SODA leave milk out unrefrigerated in your house for 2 days Some days ago, my sibling sent me this video out of the desperate hope I could provide the catharsis of seeing it torn to pieces. It has now been coming on 72 hours, and only now have I recovered enough to be able to do much of anything but scream, “WHAT?!” and “NO!” at the screen. We had a long discussion about what in the twelve hells this video even is. A surreal, dadaist parody so obscure that our brains aren’t operating on enough levels to comprehend it? The Instagram lifehack equivalent of those terrifying procedurally-generated animated Youtube videos that farm ad revenue by playing millions of times to babies whose parents left the iPad on autoplay? A coded message designed to activate the combat programming of brainwashed cyborg sleeper agents? A post that slipped through a wormhole from an alternate dimension where the laws of reality are different? An emanation of a vast and alien chaos god? I cannot bring myself to confront the claims in this video in the order they are put forth without losing my will to live after the first one, so I will start with the least crazy and work my way up. Bananas to ripen things: More or less true. You’ll sometimes see advice to cooks to store underripe fruit in a paper bag with one piece of overripe (but not rotten) fruit to ripen it more quickly.Misrepresentations: It will probably take longer than overnight to ripen something as green as some of those tomatoes, and it doesn’t have to be a banana. Coca-cola and milk: The coke is more acidic than the milk and curdles it, resulting in solid globs of milk protein which settle out. The brown dye in the coke sticks to the milk protein globs, leaving the excess liquid more or less clear.Misrepresentations: The video has been enormously sped up, which the editing does not make clear; the reaction takes hours. Ketchup to clean metal: To my mild surprise, this is actually a thing (though you could just make a paste out of salt, flour, and vinegar and scrub with that and not get ketchup stains on everything)…Misrepresentations: …for cleaning copper and bronze. Which the jug shown in the video is not. The acid in the ketchup might take some of the tarnish off, say, aluminum, but at that point you might as well just use vinegar. Sparkling water omelet: Omelet souffles are a thing.Misrepresentations: You… literally do not need the sparkling water… you can just beat the eggs until they’re fluffy… “Warm water clears wax from fruits!”: This is a mysterious and arcane procedure called “washing.”Misrepresentations: I don’t know what the hell they even did to the video on this sequence but as a person who has washed many apples in warm water, it does not look like that and the thin layer of edible wax applied to make them look good in the grocery store does not come off that easily. Sprite to clean earrings: Again, this will take tarnish off some metals just due to the acid, but…Misrepresentations: DO YOU WANT GROSS STICKY EARRINGS AND EAR INFECTIONS? JUST USE VINEGAR WATER. Also, “dirt” is not a kind of molecule. (Incidentally, if the earrings are silver, there is a vastly better method that actually reverses the tarnish instead of removing it.) Insta-freeze bottle: This is a real thing…Misrepresentation: …which absolutely will not happen if you follow their instructions, because a) they neglect to mention an important caveat (the water needs to be purified/distilled) and b) 5 minutes is not long enough for a water bottle to supercool. If you google any of the myriad videos and articles of people doing this trick, you’ll see numbers like “3 hours in the freezer” or “40 minutes in a salted ice bath.” There is video of the trick working. Either that footage was taken from someone else, or they knew how to do it, did it, and then deliberately lied about the time for no apparent reason. Putting a broken plate in milk for two days magically fixes it: To my immense surprise, they didn’t make this one up; the idea is that the milk protein casein can form into a plastic at high temperatures and bind to the ceramic. Googling it turned up some hobbyist potters commenting that they’d used it to salvage things that had cracked slightly in the kiln.Misrepresentations: Once again, they’ve misrepresented the method: everything I saw talking about how to do it said to boil the milk and then soak for an hour, not leave it out for two days like an offering to the pixies. And most of what I saw reported about it also said it only really works on hairline cracks, not full breaks, and doesn’t hold up long-term because the real structural damage isn’t repaired. And may leave a faint and persistent odor of boiled milk. Just use superglue. “Reveal the genetic memory of the honeycomb”: This is the kind of gibberish predicated on so many nonsensical assumptions that unpacking it would be more trouble than it’s worth. Plus, well, I can barely see anything with the low video quality, but what I can see of the vague blur doesn’t look much like a honeycomb in the first place. Suffice to say: “Honey looks like a honeycomb” isn’t even in the ballpark of what’s generally meant by “genetic memory,” what’s generally meant by “genetic memory” is also complete hooey, and fluid dynamics is weird and swirling a thick, viscous, water-soluble liquid with a layer of water on top is going to do weird things. But at least that I could potentially attribute to ignorance rather than deliberate intent to deceive, unlike… Hot coals and peanut butter This is the reason it’s taken me this long to post this. Every time I think about it my soul starts to leave my body. It’s such a mind-boggling level of bullshit that every time I’ve tried to put words around an explanation I’m quickly reduced to staring at the screen and mouthing “No” to myself in a voice of quiet despair, because I can’t even figure out where to start. Well, okay, I guess I might as well start by saying I think their… let’s say inspiration on this was articles about scientists who made diamonds out of peanut butter and carbon dioxide. …With a press that’s designed to recreate the conditions of the earth’s mantle, and which is prone to exploding. So, you know, not something you can do in your kitchen. Unless you have one hell of a kitchen. You can see the direct links to this in the nonsensical claim that this “works” because peanut butter contains carbon dioxide. (It doesn’t, particularly. It’s crushed peanuts mixed with oil. You know what would have a lot of carbon dioxide? The fire you pulled that glowing lump of charcoal out of.) It also mentions “pressure” when no particular pressure is involved, presumably because we’ve all heard about turning coal into diamond under heat and pressure. Chemically speaking, there’s very little to make that crystal out of except carbon, unless you want to posit a mass migration of all the sugar molecules in the peanut butter to the center of the coal. And “carbon crystal” = “diamond,” and do you think if it was that easy to make diamonds they’d be that expensive? I will guarantee you that crystal is a lump of quartz they covered in black crud and then peanut butter to pretend it was the charcoal. But, of course, all of that is irrelevant, because by reblogging this at all, even to performatively despair that the internet does not seem to have come all that far since the days of Infinite Chocolate, I’m playing into their hands. Lifehack clickbait has done this forever- they deliberately seed in wrong or awful advice because people will share that to say how stupid/wrong it is. They led with complete insanity to get attention, and I gave them eyeballs on the video watching this, and I’ll be giving them more from writing this. Maybe I’ll stick to the chaos god theory. It’s less depressing. @ohnofixit I apologize for being stupid enough to believe that video so reblogging the breakdown of why it was wrong. Why you shouldn’t believe everything on the internet. 
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Af, Being Alone, and America: MARIAH CAREY Not Another White Girl Trying To Sing Black' Daughter of Black father and White mother is hottest new artist By Lynn Norment ARIAH CAREY has a score to settle. Last summer, soon after her debut recording started racing up the record charts, she says a music critic referred to her as "another White girl trying to sing Black." Carey, indisputably the hottest new artist of the year, was infuriated A hit on Black and White charts, Mariah Carey is biggest new pop star since Whitney Houston 54 EB NY March 1991 Continued on Page 56 Denying reports that she is a White star imitating Blacks, talented singer-lyricist poses (left) at New York luncheon. "My father, Carey says, "is Black and Venezuelan, my mother is Irish. That makes me a combination of all those things." MARIAH CAREY Continued sing a certain way. I'm just trying to be Because she and her mother moved And now, here at a luncheon at Lolas me. And if people enjoy my music, often, she didn't have many close n Manhattan, she has the then they shouldn't care what I am, so friends or get involved in high school music programs. Instead, she spent af- straight and "tactfully" correct the Carey says she has always loved to ter-school hours writing songs and ing, and she gives credit and thanks to making demo tapes with longtime ac- perfect opportunity to set the record it shouldn't be an issue erring critic. "Im not a White girl trying to sing her mother for the "genes. Her quaintance Ben Margulies Black," the 20-year-old singer says in mother started giving her vocal lessons I 1987, right after finishing high an interview soon after. “My father is when she was four years old, and she school at age 17, she moved from her Black and Venezuelan, my mother is spent considerable time around her mother's home on Long Island into a Irish. That makes me a combination of mom's musically talented friends, one-bedroom apartment in Manhattan all those things. I am a human being, a soaking up the sounds of Billie Holiday with two other struggling performers During this exceptionally lean period, As a kid, she also spent a lot of time she slept on a mattress on the floor and Though barely out of her teens, Ma- listening to the radio and her sister's worked as a waitress, hat checker and riah Carey is indeed her own woman records. The soulful sounds of Gladys restaurant hostess to make ends meet She grew up in New York with her Knight, Aretha Franklin, Stevie Before and after work, she diligently mother, Patricia Carey, a vocal coach Wonder and Al Green were constant shopped her demo tapes from record and former singer with the New York companions. She sang along and stud- company to record company, but was person. What I am not is a White girl trying to sing Black. and Sarah Vaughan City Opera. Her parents divorced ed the lyrics and arrangements. By basically ignored when she was three, and Carey had an the time she was in high school, Carey ther, Alfred Roy Carey, an aeronautica which appear on her recordin a brother, 29, and a sister, 30.) back on-and-off" relationship with her fa was writing her own songs, several of up to Brenda K. Starr, and she was reg ularly doing studio session work. "We engineer in Washington, D.C. (She has Gospel music was also a great influ became good friends, and she helped ence. On occasion, she accompanied me out a lot," she says of Starr. "She Some people look at me and they her paternal grandmother, who is was always saying, Here's my friend see my light skin and my hair," she says Black, to a Baptist church. Even today, Mariah, here's her tape; she sings Eventually she began running a slender, neatly manicured she says, "I get up and go to bed listen- writes..。。.. hand through her long, semi-curly, ing to gospel music." Her favorites i It was Starr who took Carey to the honey-colored tresses for emphasis. "I clude the Clark Sisters, Shirley Caesar CBS party where she was discovered can't help the way I look, because it's and Edwin Hawkins, in addition to Ar me. I don't try to look a certain way or etha Franklin and Al Green 56 At t Sony Music Entertainment) president Continued on Page 58 EBONY March 1991 ways felt kind of different from every one else in my neighborhoods. I was a different person-ethnically. And sometimes that can be a problem. If you look a certain way everybody goes White girl, and I'd go, No, that's not Carey chose to express her inner- most feelings in her songs rather than become depressed and bitter. You re ally have to look inside yourself and find your own inner strength, and say, Im proud of what I am and who I am and I'm just going to be myself And for Carey, that translates into being a "respected" singer and song writer. But her phenomenal success has not inflated her head or her bank account, for she has yet to realize any monies from the album's success. The days when she and two struggling roommates stretched out a boxed mac aroni dinner for a week are still too Vivid, she says And, no, I don't let stuff like this go to my head, because success isn't a scale for talent," says the singer. I don't want to be a big star,' but I want to be respected as an artist. I'm de- Black singers, Carey lighted and very thankful [that people Influenced by Gladys Knight, Aretha Franklin and other started writing songs ike her work] in high school. She is a big gospel musio fan. "This is my love," she says emphat ically. "I want to sing for the rest of my MARIAH CAREY Continued more than two million copies. In At this point, she sings every chance Tommy Mottola a demo. In return, he ically, Carey wrote "Love Takes Time" she gets. In the studio. During promo gave her a Great-another demo for a second LP. But when Mottola tional stops. In the shower. Around her tape" smile, and Carey assumed it was another dead end. But on leaving the heard it, he insisted on stop g the one-bedroom Upper East Side Marn hattan apartment. To the boyfriend/ affair, Mottola popped the demo into but album, even though some record singer she's known since high school presses and adding the song to her de- his limo's tape deck. He liked what he ings were already in record stores heard so much that he immediately re- To her two Persian cats Carey says she was just as startled as Singing makes me incredibly turned to the party to find Carey. But anyone that Vision of Love" hit so big happy," she says. "Music makes me im she had already left because "it isn't hip-hop music, it isn't measurably h Having no address or telephone house music, and it isn't rap. But I am number did not deter Mottola from so glad and thankful," she says. That tracking her down. Ironically, another song really represents everything in record company had expressed mild interest in Carey, and a bit of a biddii war evolved my life. It is a song from the heart. ing Consider the lyrics: "Prayed through the nights/Felt so alone/Suf In December 1988, she signed with fered from alienation/Carried the CBS Columbia Records. Within a weight on my own/Had to be strong/So week she wrote Vision of Love" for I believed/And now I know I've suc- her debut album. In fact, she wrote ceeded/In finding the place I con- lyrics for all l songs on her self-titled ceived LP, and she even produced Vanish- the lissome artist with the clear, passio- inging "America The Beautiful" at the Just why would such a seemingly tender womanchild write these words Columbia went all-out to promote of despair and sing them with suclh deep passion? nate seven-octave voice, flexing a little "Well, just because you are young clout to get her the coveted task of doesn't mean that you haven't had a hard life," she says with a knowing lit 1989 NBA finals, where she was ex- tle smile. "It's been difficult for me, posed to 16 million people. Both "Vi moving around so much, having to sion of Love" and "Love Takes Time grow up by myself, basically on my have gone gold, and the album has sold own, my parents divorced. And I al EBONY March 1991 festivemomentspow:Mariah Carey, 1991

festivemomentspow:Mariah Carey, 1991

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America, Fall, and Family: September 11, 2001..... As I stood before this hallowed place.....17 years to the day when time stood still. When we as a Nation watched the Towers Fall, watched the Pentagon burn and the words "Let's Roll" showed a moment of true sacrifice aboard Flight 93 as REAL Americans prevented yet another hit on American soil. A day when we actually stood together as Americans in the face of despair.... I can't help but think of where we are now?! Hate groups running rampant, racial and political divide, calls for monument removals, calls for Presidential Assassinations from elected officials... Where did we go wrong? What happened to us as a Nation? In an age where we are more connected than ever before through technology....it seems we are further apart than we have ever been. So what are we gonna do America? It's true there is never any room in America for bigotry or hate......but neither is DIVISION! The truth is, We are either together or we're not... We are either all in on this idea that is America or we're out... I wonder what the people who on that day 17 years ago were united as one and were simply Americans would say to us now? Would they be proud of the steps we have taken since the day Americans stood together as one nation in the face of true opposition? Or would they not recognize who we are or what we have become? When I think of that day I don't think of terror. I don't think of weakness. I don't see black and I don't see white. I DO NOT see politics of who is right and who is wrong.... I think of a rallying cry for America and the awakening of what makes Americans truly great.... EACH OTHER!! WE are the problem....BUT we are also the answer! Think about it and NEVER FORGET! AMERICA.....Always! -Graham🇺🇸 neverforget 911 life love faith family

September 11, 2001..... As I stood before this hallowed place.....17 years to the day when time stood still. When we as a Nation watched the...

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