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    Alive, Anaconda, and Animals: i-should-be-writing-rn:

inlovewithaleheather:

thecuckoohaslanded:


gerbthenerd:

alexander-lamington:


thelizardprincess:


biglawbear:


blacksirencry:

swaglexander-the-great:


#That’s a#That’s a blue ringed octopus#You’re going to die do you realise that#It is literally one of the most deadly animals in the world#Not just in Australia or just in the ocean in THE WORLD#Put it DOWN#And go to a hospital jfc via platonic-rabbit 
me tryna find out if this fool died


“The blue-ringed octopus, despite its small size, carries enough venom to kill twenty-six adult humans within minutes. Their bites are tiny and often painless, with many victims not realizing they have been envenomated until respiratory depression and paralysis start to set in.[8] No blue-ringed octopus antivenom is available yet, making it one of the deadliest reef inhabitants in the ocean.”
Holy shit


And this is why I don’t go in the ocean anymore


Also the blue rings literally only show up when it is distressed so this person has angered it!!! You are in danger friend!!!


Actually this guy keeps them as pets they’re on his instagram (william_exotique) and he frequently holds then and I just? Don’t know why? And also every picture or video he posts of them shows the blue rings so they’re always in distress I just do not understand why he’s doing this



#AMY EXPLAIN HOW DUMB THIS GUY IS 
I mean OP pretty much covered it.  A blue ringed octopus is almost on the level of CONE SNAIL on the list of things you ABSOLUTELY DO NOT PICK UP UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.
But ask and you shall receive,  On this episode of “Fun Facts With Cuckoo,” DEAD.  YOU’RE DEAD.  EVERYTHING IS DEAD AND YOU SHOULD NEVER TOUCH ANYTHING IN THE OCEAN EVER AGAIN.
There are many things that will kill you.

[citation needed]
There are fewer, but still many things that will kill you FAST.
There are yet fewer things that kill you fast and by such an overwhelming margin of overkill that nervous laughter is our only solace in the dark of this terrible, surprisingly Lovecraftian world of unearthly horrors that we live in.
Of the things that I know about which will kill you fast via just plain insultingly potent venom, which is a not insignificant number of things because I know a not insignificant number of things, there are about 3 things in the ocean – IN THE WHOLE OCEAN – which are so insanely, mind-bogglingly deadly that there is pretty much no possible hope for survival (I mean you CAN, but god help you if you’re ever in that situation, because god’s just about damn near the only thing that CAN help you).  THE. WHOLE. OCEAN.
Those three things are the Irukandji (a tiny (1cm) species of box jellyfish, which has stingers not only on its tentacles but on its BELL, for reasons no one has definitively figured out, and is so toxic despite its size its sting can cause a severe brain hemorrhage), the cone snail (a group of carnivorous sea snails that is accepted to be the most venomous animals on earth, with a STUPIDLY fast acting and extremely powerful neurotoxin that has in at least one case killed a human ALMOST INSTANTANEOUSLY, because the swimmer who found two beautiful shells (unfortunately cone snails tend to have very pretty shells which makes people want to pick them up) was holding them up for a picture and ended up being stabbed in the neck by not one but TWO cone snails at the same time, and it is believed that she was literally dead before she hit the ground, I mean LITERALLY in a 100% non-fictional and non-exaggerated way, in between the time the two cone snails stabbed her and the time her limp body hit the sand, she was not alive anymore), and the blue ringed octopus.
It is POSSIBLE to survive any of these.  But not without immediate medical attention.  Of these three, the Irukandji is by far the most treatable, because Australia and other coastal regions (including Florida and other parts of the US) are kind of experienced in dealing with box jellyfish.
The blue ringed octopus will fucking kill you.  There’s no antidote for their venom, ONE COMPONENT OF WHICH (tetrodotoxin) is 1200 times deadlier than cyanide.  It’s a powerful neurotoxin (most of the worst venoms are because the species that produce them need to kill or at least paralyze their prey quickly, like jellyfish whose fragile tentacles could be damaged if their food doesn’t stop struggling) that attacks the sodium channels and causes muscle paralysis.  It doesn’t necessarily kill you quickly.  It PARALYZES you quickly, so that you can’t really call for help or describe the problem, and you will probably end up slowly suffocating from a paralyzed diaphragm.  Tetrodotoxin can be metabolized by the body in a matter of hours, but it can also kill you in a matter of minutes if you get a lethal dose (which isn’t much, the 

LD50

 or median lethal dose, the dose at which you have a 50% chance of survival, is only 8 MICROGRAMS per kilogram of body weight (as tested in mice)).  This is, by venom standards, not a large amount, which means the animal that is capable of putting this venom inside your body is very very good at killing the absolute shit out of you.
DON’T TOUCH THE BLUE RINGED OCTOPUS.
Now, because overkill is my motto, let me briefly explain why Conus geographus is the undisputed champion of YOU WILL NOT SURVIVE, AND FURTHERMORE FUCK YOU FOR THINKING OTHERWISE.
A cone snail walks into a bar.  You’d expect the bartender to ask, “what’s your poison,” but they were paralyzed before they could ask and OH LOOK they’re already FUCKING DEAD ON THE GROUND.
Conus geographus is about 4-6 inches long and nature’s equivalent of Avada Kedavra.  Cone snails literally have their own KIND of toxins named after them: conotoxin.  Not only is there no antidote, but their venom AGGRESSIVELY RESISTS our ability to find a cure, because we barely understand how it works AND conotoxins are so internally varied, even within a single species, that any one antidote isn’t going to help because they’re constantly mutating and evolving their venom to prevent their prey from evolving a resistance to it.  Plus their venom is like, a bunch of different venoms all at once JUST IN CASE any one of them wasn’t good enough.
I want you to read these two sentences from the wiki page on conotoxin:
“Conotoxins have a variety of mechanisms of actions, most of which have not been determined.”


“The LD50 of conotoxin is 50 ng/kg.”
Remember how the 

LD50 of tetrodotoxin is 8μg/kg?  Conotoxin is 160 times more potent.  FIFTY NANOGRAMS PER KILOGRAM HAS A 50% CHANCE OF KILLING YOU. A 220-POUND HUMAN HAS A 50% CHANCE OF SURVIVAL AGAINST JUST 5 MICROGRAMS OF CONOTOXIN.  
I DID SOME MATH.  
IT WOULD TAKE 7-9 MILLIGRAMS OF CONOTOXIN TO KILL A BLUE WHALE, THE HEAVIEST ANIMAL TO EVER LIVE. (based on weight estimates from 300-400,000 lbs.)
Conus geographus is so fucking deadly that “In two cases of envenomation, only 0.0002-0.0005 mg resulted in severe paralysis.”
THIS THING KILLS STUFF SO HARD THAT BEFORE YOU HEAR THE FIRST “MORTAL KOMBAT” IN THE MORTAL KOMBAT THEME, THERE’S PROBABLY ALREADY BEEN A FATALITY.
And guess what?  Cone snails don’t do that NOOB SHIT with the superficial biting or stinging.  Your wetsuit or gloves won’t protect you.  Because homeboy didn’t bring teeth to evolution’s knife fight.  Oh no.  It brought a motherfucking radula POISON HARPOON.  It’s lightning fast and has way more piercing power than some silly little cnidocytes or salivary bacteria.
Another component of their venom is being researched for its potential as a pain reliever.  “WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT????” you might reasonably ask.  And you would be right to do so, because science has gone too far and has surely sinned against the very image of Mollusca Kedavra.  Well, it turns out the answer is “Research shows that certain component proteins of the venom target specific human pain receptors and can be up to 10,000 times more potent than morphine without morphine’s addictive properties and side-effects.”  That’s right, the part of their venom that SPECIFICALLY DOESN’T HURT YOU is up to 10,000 times more potent than morphine.
Also, Conus geographus (along with one other cone snail species, C. tulipa) is the only known non-human animal to weaponize insulin.  In addition to the normal insulin that the snails produce for their own use, their bodies manufacture an ADDITIONAL insulin molecule that is similar to the kind produced in fish (which they eat) for the sole purpose of stunning their prey through hypoglycemic shock.  BECAUSE APPARENTLY THEY DON’T FEEL LIKE THEY’D KILL YOU HARD ENOUGH OTHERWISE.
IF you are going to survive the ALMIGHTY CONE SNAIL, WHO KNOWS NO FEAR, TRIUMPHANT HEDGEMON OF THE MOLECULAR ARMS RACE, TRUE BORN HEIR TO THE SCYTHE OF DEATH ITSELF, FISHSLAYER, GOD AMONG MOLLUSKS, WHOSE WRATH IS MERCIFUL ONLY IN ITS BREVITY, ADMIRABLE IN ITS BEAUTY AND UNSULLIED BY THE UNWORTHY TOUCH OF MORTAL HANDS OR SCALES OR REALLY ANYTHING IN RANGE OF ITS RADULA HARPOON, then literally the only thing that’s going to save you is for you to be kept alive artificially (externalizing your respiratory functions to force your body to continue breathing, basically) until the effects of the venom wear off.  And because of how quickly this venom acts, you need to get that medical attention VERY, VERY FAST.
And if you don’t get it, you will still be conscious while the paralysis slowly suffocates you to death.
Don’t touch the pretty shells.


I’ve never been so intrigued to learn how easily I could be fucking exterminated from existence by the overpowered sea creatures of the world. You’ve done a better job at keeping my attention then any of my teachers ever have.


You know what I’m putting this on the writing blog cause I personally can see potential in some fantasy villain attempting to weaponise cone snailsIn which case, all hail snail king 🐌 
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    Alive, Anaconda, and Animals: i-should-be-writing-rn:

inlovewithaleheather:

thecuckoohaslanded:


gerbthenerd:

alexander-lamington:


thelizardprincess:


biglawbear:


blacksirencry:

swaglexander-the-great:


#That’s a#That’s a blue ringed octopus#You’re going to die do you realise that#It is literally one of the most deadly animals in the world#Not just in Australia or just in the ocean in THE WORLD#Put it DOWN#And go to a hospital jfc via platonic-rabbit 
me tryna find out if this fool died


“The blue-ringed octopus, despite its small size, carries enough venom to kill twenty-six adult humans within minutes. Their bites are tiny and often painless, with many victims not realizing they have been envenomated until respiratory depression and paralysis start to set in.[8] No blue-ringed octopus antivenom is available yet, making it one of the deadliest reef inhabitants in the ocean.”
Holy shit


And this is why I don’t go in the ocean anymore


Also the blue rings literally only show up when it is distressed so this person has angered it!!! You are in danger friend!!!


Actually this guy keeps them as pets they’re on his instagram (william_exotique) and he frequently holds then and I just? Don’t know why? And also every picture or video he posts of them shows the blue rings so they’re always in distress I just do not understand why he’s doing this



#AMY EXPLAIN HOW DUMB THIS GUY IS 
I mean OP pretty much covered it.  A blue ringed octopus is almost on the level of CONE SNAIL on the list of things you ABSOLUTELY DO NOT PICK UP UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.
But ask and you shall receive,  On this episode of “Fun Facts With Cuckoo,” DEAD.  YOU’RE DEAD.  EVERYTHING IS DEAD AND YOU SHOULD NEVER TOUCH ANYTHING IN THE OCEAN EVER AGAIN.
There are many things that will kill you.

[citation needed]
There are fewer, but still many things that will kill you FAST.
There are yet fewer things that kill you fast and by such an overwhelming margin of overkill that nervous laughter is our only solace in the dark of this terrible, surprisingly Lovecraftian world of unearthly horrors that we live in.
Of the things that I know about which will kill you fast via just plain insultingly potent venom, which is a not insignificant number of things because I know a not insignificant number of things, there are about 3 things in the ocean – IN THE WHOLE OCEAN – which are so insanely, mind-bogglingly deadly that there is pretty much no possible hope for survival (I mean you CAN, but god help you if you’re ever in that situation, because god’s just about damn near the only thing that CAN help you).  THE. WHOLE. OCEAN.
Those three things are the Irukandji (a tiny (1cm) species of box jellyfish, which has stingers not only on its tentacles but on its BELL, for reasons no one has definitively figured out, and is so toxic despite its size its sting can cause a severe brain hemorrhage), the cone snail (a group of carnivorous sea snails that is accepted to be the most venomous animals on earth, with a STUPIDLY fast acting and extremely powerful neurotoxin that has in at least one case killed a human ALMOST INSTANTANEOUSLY, because the swimmer who found two beautiful shells (unfortunately cone snails tend to have very pretty shells which makes people want to pick them up) was holding them up for a picture and ended up being stabbed in the neck by not one but TWO cone snails at the same time, and it is believed that she was literally dead before she hit the ground, I mean LITERALLY in a 100% non-fictional and non-exaggerated way, in between the time the two cone snails stabbed her and the time her limp body hit the sand, she was not alive anymore), and the blue ringed octopus.
It is POSSIBLE to survive any of these.  But not without immediate medical attention.  Of these three, the Irukandji is by far the most treatable, because Australia and other coastal regions (including Florida and other parts of the US) are kind of experienced in dealing with box jellyfish.
The blue ringed octopus will fucking kill you.  There’s no antidote for their venom, ONE COMPONENT OF WHICH (tetrodotoxin) is 1200 times deadlier than cyanide.  It’s a powerful neurotoxin (most of the worst venoms are because the species that produce them need to kill or at least paralyze their prey quickly, like jellyfish whose fragile tentacles could be damaged if their food doesn’t stop struggling) that attacks the sodium channels and causes muscle paralysis.  It doesn’t necessarily kill you quickly.  It PARALYZES you quickly, so that you can’t really call for help or describe the problem, and you will probably end up slowly suffocating from a paralyzed diaphragm.  Tetrodotoxin can be metabolized by the body in a matter of hours, but it can also kill you in a matter of minutes if you get a lethal dose (which isn’t much, the 

LD50

 or median lethal dose, the dose at which you have a 50% chance of survival, is only 8 MICROGRAMS per kilogram of body weight (as tested in mice)).  This is, by venom standards, not a large amount, which means the animal that is capable of putting this venom inside your body is very very good at killing the absolute shit out of you.
DON’T TOUCH THE BLUE RINGED OCTOPUS.
Now, because overkill is my motto, let me briefly explain why Conus geographus is the undisputed champion of YOU WILL NOT SURVIVE, AND FURTHERMORE FUCK YOU FOR THINKING OTHERWISE.
A cone snail walks into a bar.  You’d expect the bartender to ask, “what’s your poison,” but they were paralyzed before they could ask and OH LOOK they’re already FUCKING DEAD ON THE GROUND.
Conus geographus is about 4-6 inches long and nature’s equivalent of Avada Kedavra.  Cone snails literally have their own KIND of toxins named after them: conotoxin.  Not only is there no antidote, but their venom AGGRESSIVELY RESISTS our ability to find a cure, because we barely understand how it works AND conotoxins are so internally varied, even within a single species, that any one antidote isn’t going to help because they’re constantly mutating and evolving their venom to prevent their prey from evolving a resistance to it.  Plus their venom is like, a bunch of different venoms all at once JUST IN CASE any one of them wasn’t good enough.
I want you to read these two sentences from the wiki page on conotoxin:
“Conotoxins have a variety of mechanisms of actions, most of which have not been determined.”


“The LD50 of conotoxin is 50 ng/kg.”
Remember how the 

LD50 of tetrodotoxin is 8μg/kg?  Conotoxin is 160 times more potent.  FIFTY NANOGRAMS PER KILOGRAM HAS A 50% CHANCE OF KILLING YOU. A 220-POUND HUMAN HAS A 50% CHANCE OF SURVIVAL AGAINST JUST 5 MICROGRAMS OF CONOTOXIN.  
I DID SOME MATH.  
IT WOULD TAKE 7-9 MILLIGRAMS OF CONOTOXIN TO KILL A BLUE WHALE, THE HEAVIEST ANIMAL TO EVER LIVE. (based on weight estimates from 300-400,000 lbs.)
Conus geographus is so fucking deadly that “In two cases of envenomation, only 0.0002-0.0005 mg resulted in severe paralysis.”
THIS THING KILLS STUFF SO HARD THAT BEFORE YOU HEAR THE FIRST “MORTAL KOMBAT” IN THE MORTAL KOMBAT THEME, THERE’S PROBABLY ALREADY BEEN A FATALITY.
And guess what?  Cone snails don’t do that NOOB SHIT with the superficial biting or stinging.  Your wetsuit or gloves won’t protect you.  Because homeboy didn’t bring teeth to evolution’s knife fight.  Oh no.  It brought a motherfucking radula POISON HARPOON.  It’s lightning fast and has way more piercing power than some silly little cnidocytes or salivary bacteria.
Another component of their venom is being researched for its potential as a pain reliever.  “WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT????” you might reasonably ask.  And you would be right to do so, because science has gone too far and has surely sinned against the very image of Mollusca Kedavra.  Well, it turns out the answer is “Research shows that certain component proteins of the venom target specific human pain receptors and can be up to 10,000 times more potent than morphine without morphine’s addictive properties and side-effects.”  That’s right, the part of their venom that SPECIFICALLY DOESN’T HURT YOU is up to 10,000 times more potent than morphine.
Also, Conus geographus (along with one other cone snail species, C. tulipa) is the only known non-human animal to weaponize insulin.  In addition to the normal insulin that the snails produce for their own use, their bodies manufacture an ADDITIONAL insulin molecule that is similar to the kind produced in fish (which they eat) for the sole purpose of stunning their prey through hypoglycemic shock.  BECAUSE APPARENTLY THEY DON’T FEEL LIKE THEY’D KILL YOU HARD ENOUGH OTHERWISE.
IF you are going to survive the ALMIGHTY CONE SNAIL, WHO KNOWS NO FEAR, TRIUMPHANT HEDGEMON OF THE MOLECULAR ARMS RACE, TRUE BORN HEIR TO THE SCYTHE OF DEATH ITSELF, FISHSLAYER, GOD AMONG MOLLUSKS, WHOSE WRATH IS MERCIFUL ONLY IN ITS BREVITY, ADMIRABLE IN ITS BEAUTY AND UNSULLIED BY THE UNWORTHY TOUCH OF MORTAL HANDS OR SCALES OR REALLY ANYTHING IN RANGE OF ITS RADULA HARPOON, then literally the only thing that’s going to save you is for you to be kept alive artificially (externalizing your respiratory functions to force your body to continue breathing, basically) until the effects of the venom wear off.  And because of how quickly this venom acts, you need to get that medical attention VERY, VERY FAST.
And if you don’t get it, you will still be conscious while the paralysis slowly suffocates you to death.
Don’t touch the pretty shells.


I’ve never been so intrigued to learn how easily I could be fucking exterminated from existence by the overpowered sea creatures of the world. You’ve done a better job at keeping my attention then any of my teachers ever have.


You know what I’m putting this on the writing blog cause I personally can see potential in some fantasy villain attempting to weaponise cone snailsIn which case, all hail snail king 🐌 
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    



        

    

    
    
    

        

            
            
        

    

    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            
            
        

    

    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            




    Bill Clinton, Dude, and Fbi: Did Bill Clinton Fire His FBI
 Director One Day Before Vince
 Foster Died?

 Rating
 Mixture
 About this rating
 What's True
 President Clinton fired FBI Director William Sessions on 19 July 1993, one day before Deputy White
 House Counsel Vince Foster, a longtime associate of the Clintons, was found dead of a self-inflicted
 gunshot wound.
 What's False
 There is nothing inherently suspicious about the coincidental timing of Sessions's firing and Vince
 Foster's death (which was determined to be a suicide)
sapphleaf:

libertarirynn:

sapphleaf:

mccarthyites:

eltigrechico:
Gotta love Snopes!
And here I was, an idiot, thinking this post was overly exaggerated for comedic effect


Except what Snopes is actually saying is that, while the explicit claim that the death occurred the day after the firing, what’s false is the implied argument—and often explicitly asserted as well—that the two events have any relation.post hoc ergo propter hoc

Except it still isn’t a “mixture” because the statement “Bill Clinton fired his FBI director the day before Vince Foster died“ is irrefutably correct.

Yeah but it’s still right to point out that implied connection is not based in fact or logic.Yes, the statement at face value is literal truth, but critical thinking means evaluating the truth and validity of the actual argument.

Dude are you being serious right now? As a fact checking site it’s not their job to evaluate what “implied connections“ they need to “correct“. The idea is state what’s true and what’s not. Stating that Bill Clinton fired his FBI director before Vince Foster died is not a “mixture“ of truth and falsehood. Period.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    Bill Clinton, Dude, and Fbi: Did Bill Clinton Fire His FBI
 Director One Day Before Vince
 Foster Died?

 Rating
 Mixture
 About this rating
 What's True
 President Clinton fired FBI Director William Sessions on 19 July 1993, one day before Deputy White
 House Counsel Vince Foster, a longtime associate of the Clintons, was found dead of a self-inflicted
 gunshot wound.
 What's False
 There is nothing inherently suspicious about the coincidental timing of Sessions's firing and Vince
 Foster's death (which was determined to be a suicide)
sapphleaf:

libertarirynn:

sapphleaf:

mccarthyites:

eltigrechico:
Gotta love Snopes!
And here I was, an idiot, thinking this post was overly exaggerated for comedic effect


Except what Snopes is actually saying is that, while the explicit claim that the death occurred the day after the firing, what’s false is the implied argument—and often explicitly asserted as well—that the two events have any relation.post hoc ergo propter hoc

Except it still isn’t a “mixture” because the statement “Bill Clinton fired his FBI director the day before Vince Foster died“ is irrefutably correct.

Yeah but it’s still right to point out that implied connection is not based in fact or logic.Yes, the statement at face value is literal truth, but critical thinking means evaluating the truth and validity of the actual argument.

Dude are you being serious right now? As a fact checking site it’s not their job to evaluate what “implied connections“ they need to “correct“. The idea is state what’s true and what’s not. Stating that Bill Clinton fired his FBI director before Vince Foster died is not a “mixture“ of truth and falsehood. Period.
                    
                
            

            
                
                
sapphleaf:

libertarirynn:

sapphleaf:

mccarthyites:

eltigrechico:
Gotta love Snopes!
And here I was, an idiot, thinking this post was ove...

                
            
            
        

    



        

    

    
    
    

        

            
            
        

    

    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            




    Beautiful, Bored, and Head: Here's a prime example of "Men Are
 From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
 offered by an English professor from
 the University of Phoenix:
 The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex-
 periment with a new form called the tandem story
 The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
 person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home-
 work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph
 of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para-
 graph and send another copy to me. The partner will
 read the first paragraph and then add another para-
 graph to the story and send it back, also sending an-
 other copy to me. The first person will then add a third
 paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
 Remember to re-read what has been written each time
 in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab-
 solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any-
 thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail.
 The story is over when both agree a con-
 clusion has been reached."
 The following was actually turned in by two of his
 English students:
 Rebecca and Gary
 THE STORY:
 (first paragraph by Rebecca)
 At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea
 she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her
 favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded
 her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
 times, that he liked chamomile.
 But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
 mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating,
 and if she thought about him too much her asthma
 started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
 the
 second paragraph by Gary)
 Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of
 the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4,
 had more important things to think about than the
 neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
 Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night
 over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he
 said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar
 orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But
 before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
 flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
 his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
 him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit.
 (Rebecca)
 He bumped his head and died almost immediately,
 but not before he felt one last pang of regret for
 psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
 ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
 stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace
 ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per-
 manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie
 read in her newspaper one morning. The news si-
 multaneously excited her and bored her. She
 stared out the window, dreaming of her youth,
 when the days had passed unhurriedly and care-
 free, with no newspaper to read, no television to
 distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at
 all the beautiful things around
 her. "Why must one
 lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
 pondered wistfully
 Gary)
 Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec-
 onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the
 Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
 lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy
 peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
 disarmament Treaty through the congress had left
 Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em-
 pires who were determined to destroy the human
 race. Within two hours after the passage of the
 treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
 Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
 With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated
 their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en-
 tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President,
 in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters
 on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
 inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
 poor, stupid Laurie.
 (Rebecca)
 This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
 literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin-
 istic semi-literate adolescent.
 Gary)
 Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered
 tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the
 literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have
 chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of
 F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an
 air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle
 Steele novels!"
 Gary)
 B*tch.
 (Rebecca)
 F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI
 In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
 A+
 Ireally liked this one.
epicjohndoe:

A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    Beautiful, Bored, and Head: Here's a prime example of "Men Are
 From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
 offered by an English professor from
 the University of Phoenix:
 The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex-
 periment with a new form called the tandem story
 The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
 person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home-
 work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph
 of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para-
 graph and send another copy to me. The partner will
 read the first paragraph and then add another para-
 graph to the story and send it back, also sending an-
 other copy to me. The first person will then add a third
 paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
 Remember to re-read what has been written each time
 in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab-
 solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any-
 thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail.
 The story is over when both agree a con-
 clusion has been reached."
 The following was actually turned in by two of his
 English students:
 Rebecca and Gary
 THE STORY:
 (first paragraph by Rebecca)
 At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea
 she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her
 favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded
 her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
 times, that he liked chamomile.
 But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
 mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating,
 and if she thought about him too much her asthma
 started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
 the
 second paragraph by Gary)
 Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of
 the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4,
 had more important things to think about than the
 neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
 Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night
 over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he
 said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar
 orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But
 before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
 flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
 his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
 him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit.
 (Rebecca)
 He bumped his head and died almost immediately,
 but not before he felt one last pang of regret for
 psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
 ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
 stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace
 ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per-
 manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie
 read in her newspaper one morning. The news si-
 multaneously excited her and bored her. She
 stared out the window, dreaming of her youth,
 when the days had passed unhurriedly and care-
 free, with no newspaper to read, no television to
 distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at
 all the beautiful things around
 her. "Why must one
 lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
 pondered wistfully
 Gary)
 Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec-
 onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the
 Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
 lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy
 peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
 disarmament Treaty through the congress had left
 Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em-
 pires who were determined to destroy the human
 race. Within two hours after the passage of the
 treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
 Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
 With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated
 their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en-
 tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President,
 in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters
 on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
 inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
 poor, stupid Laurie.
 (Rebecca)
 This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
 literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin-
 istic semi-literate adolescent.
 Gary)
 Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered
 tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the
 literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have
 chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of
 F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an
 air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle
 Steele novels!"
 Gary)
 B*tch.
 (Rebecca)
 F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI
 In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
 A+
 Ireally liked this one.
epicjohndoe:

A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            
            
        

    

    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            
            
        

    

    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            




    Animals, Children, and Facts: kids, the animal world &gender
 This morning, my 5yo asked us if his new boy-kitten would grow up to be a
 daddy cat. We said that no, he wouldn't, and were about to explain that this is
 because the kitten is desexed when my son said, "Oh, that's right - because if
 you don't grow up to be a mummy or a daddy, then you're not a boy or a girl
 you're just a person!
 It turns out, he's been lowkey assuming that there are three grown-up
 genders: mummy, daddy, and adult, such that anyone who isn't a parent is, in
 some sense, nonbinary. We explained that, while he's right in thinking there
 are people who aren't boys or girls, your adult gender isn't determined by
 whether or not you have a kid, and used examples of people we know as
 proof. He accepted this with a nod, then went off to play with the kitten,
 We had a related conversation at bedtime last week, when the "story" he'd
 chosen was a book of facts about Australian animals. One of the entries we
 read was about the barramundi fish, which are all male as babies and only
 turn female during spawning season. This prompted him to ask if human boys
 could turn into girls, too, and while he was a bit too sleepy for a detailed
 conversation, I said something along the lines of, "yes, there are some people
 who look like boys when they're little, but who realise they're girls and change
 when they get older." He accepted that, too, and then we read another entry
 about a particular type of bat.
 These are only two small examples, but it's endlessly fascinating to me to
 watch how kids are trying to figure out what gender is and what it means from
 the world around them. There have been times when my son has come home
 saying that pink is for girls, because that's what he heard at school, and so we
 have a conversation about how colours are for everyone. The point is not only
 that children absorb what's going on around them and try to process it through
 an individual lens, but that how adults answer their questions plays a massive
 role in comprehension, too. Don't tell kids they're silly for asking these sorts of
 questions or act as if the truth is obvious: they're not, and it really isn't.
But wont somebody think of the children?
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    Animals, Children, and Facts: kids, the animal world &gender
 This morning, my 5yo asked us if his new boy-kitten would grow up to be a
 daddy cat. We said that no, he wouldn't, and were about to explain that this is
 because the kitten is desexed when my son said, "Oh, that's right - because if
 you don't grow up to be a mummy or a daddy, then you're not a boy or a girl
 you're just a person!
 It turns out, he's been lowkey assuming that there are three grown-up
 genders: mummy, daddy, and adult, such that anyone who isn't a parent is, in
 some sense, nonbinary. We explained that, while he's right in thinking there
 are people who aren't boys or girls, your adult gender isn't determined by
 whether or not you have a kid, and used examples of people we know as
 proof. He accepted this with a nod, then went off to play with the kitten,
 We had a related conversation at bedtime last week, when the "story" he'd
 chosen was a book of facts about Australian animals. One of the entries we
 read was about the barramundi fish, which are all male as babies and only
 turn female during spawning season. This prompted him to ask if human boys
 could turn into girls, too, and while he was a bit too sleepy for a detailed
 conversation, I said something along the lines of, "yes, there are some people
 who look like boys when they're little, but who realise they're girls and change
 when they get older." He accepted that, too, and then we read another entry
 about a particular type of bat.
 These are only two small examples, but it's endlessly fascinating to me to
 watch how kids are trying to figure out what gender is and what it means from
 the world around them. There have been times when my son has come home
 saying that pink is for girls, because that's what he heard at school, and so we
 have a conversation about how colours are for everyone. The point is not only
 that children absorb what's going on around them and try to process it through
 an individual lens, but that how adults answer their questions plays a massive
 role in comprehension, too. Don't tell kids they're silly for asking these sorts of
 questions or act as if the truth is obvious: they're not, and it really isn't.
But wont somebody think of the children?
                    
                
            

            
                
                
But wont somebody think of the children?

                
            
            
        

    



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            
            
        

    

    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            
            
        

    

    
    

        

            




    Candy, Charlie, and Dad: karik
 evayna
 Violet Beauregarde
 should've won Wonka's
 chocolate factory
 Have I watched the movie in the last decade
 or more? No.
 Do I have iron clad evidence to support my
 argument? Yes.
 1. She's the most knowledgeable about candy
 She's committed to it, and knows her stuff. When
 Wonka holds up a little yellow piece across the
 room, she recognizes it immediately. She was
 able to switch to candy bars for the sake of the
 contest, so we know she has personal discipline
 and is goal oriented. Also, two major projects
 play directly into her strong suits: the 3-course-
 meal gum that Wonka failed to make safe (gum)
 and the neverending gobstopper (longevity)
 2. She's the most fit to run a business. Violet
 is competitive, determined, hard working, and
 willing to take risks. Her father is a small town
 car salesman and politician, so she could easily
 pick up knowledge and support from him.
 (Veruca's dad is also a business man, and in
 a compatible market (nuts), but it's made very
 clear that Veruca has no respect or knowledge of
 business practices or hard work.)
 3. Shes the most sympathetic to the Oompa
 Loompas. She critiques Veruca when Veruca
 demands to buy one. More importantly, Wonka
 has been testing the 3-course-meal gum that
 always goes wrong' on Oompa Loompas while
 he presumably just watches. Violet is ready to
 put herself on the front line, instead of treating
 the Oompa Loompas as disposable, and would
 therefore be a better boss.
 4. Her personality flaw' is the most fitting for
 the company. In the moralizing Oompa Loompa
 song, they just say gum is pretty cool, but it's
 not socially acceptable to chew it all day. The
 thing is, we already know that she can stop if
 she wants, because she already did that to win
 the golden ticket. And yeah, she is defensive
 about the perceived impoliteness of her hobby
 (like when her mother tries to shame her about
 her habit during a televised interview) but the
 obsession with candy and neglect of social
 norms is EXACTLY what Wonka is all about
 This is on brand.
 5. Her misstep in the factory is reasonable.
 Wonka shows everyone a candy he's very proud
 of. Violet is like "oh sick, that's gum, my special
 interest." Wonka is then pulls a "WRONG! It's
 amazing guml So in the very moments before
 she takes the gum Wonka has mislead her just
 to belittle her. So when he's like I wouldn't do
 that" why should she give a shit what he has to
 say? She's not like Charlie over here who's al
 Sure Gramps, let's stay behind while the tour
 leaves and secretly drink this thing that has been
 explicitly stated to fill you with gas and is too
 powerful for safe consumption, oh and also I
 just saw what happened to Violet so I actually
 KNOW what this stuff can be capable of" Also,
 Violet is not selfish about her experience, she
 tells everyone what she's tasting and feeling, and
 everyone is eager to hear it. Taking a personal
 risk to share knowledge with everyone. Violet
 is Prometheus: fact.
 So Augustus contaminates the chocolate
 river. Charlie sneaks around and contaminates
 the vent walls. Veruca destroys and disrupts
 the workspace. Mike knows exactly what will
 happen to him and transports/shrinks himself
 deliberately. Violet had no idea what the gum
 could potentially do to her, and caused no harm
 to anyone or anything but herself
 Lastly: Can you imagine Charlie filling Wonka's
 shoes? That passive, naive boy? Violet is
 already basically Wonka. She's passionate
 sarcastic, candy-obsessed, free thinking, and a
 total firecracker. She's even better than Wonka,
 because she doesn't endanger others.
 Violet should've been picked to inherit the
 chocolate factory.
 Source: evayna
 #charlie and the chocolate factory
 123,693 notes
Blueberry Boss
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    Candy, Charlie, and Dad: karik
 evayna
 Violet Beauregarde
 should've won Wonka's
 chocolate factory
 Have I watched the movie in the last decade
 or more? No.
 Do I have iron clad evidence to support my
 argument? Yes.
 1. She's the most knowledgeable about candy
 She's committed to it, and knows her stuff. When
 Wonka holds up a little yellow piece across the
 room, she recognizes it immediately. She was
 able to switch to candy bars for the sake of the
 contest, so we know she has personal discipline
 and is goal oriented. Also, two major projects
 play directly into her strong suits: the 3-course-
 meal gum that Wonka failed to make safe (gum)
 and the neverending gobstopper (longevity)
 2. She's the most fit to run a business. Violet
 is competitive, determined, hard working, and
 willing to take risks. Her father is a small town
 car salesman and politician, so she could easily
 pick up knowledge and support from him.
 (Veruca's dad is also a business man, and in
 a compatible market (nuts), but it's made very
 clear that Veruca has no respect or knowledge of
 business practices or hard work.)
 3. Shes the most sympathetic to the Oompa
 Loompas. She critiques Veruca when Veruca
 demands to buy one. More importantly, Wonka
 has been testing the 3-course-meal gum that
 always goes wrong' on Oompa Loompas while
 he presumably just watches. Violet is ready to
 put herself on the front line, instead of treating
 the Oompa Loompas as disposable, and would
 therefore be a better boss.
 4. Her personality flaw' is the most fitting for
 the company. In the moralizing Oompa Loompa
 song, they just say gum is pretty cool, but it's
 not socially acceptable to chew it all day. The
 thing is, we already know that she can stop if
 she wants, because she already did that to win
 the golden ticket. And yeah, she is defensive
 about the perceived impoliteness of her hobby
 (like when her mother tries to shame her about
 her habit during a televised interview) but the
 obsession with candy and neglect of social
 norms is EXACTLY what Wonka is all about
 This is on brand.
 5. Her misstep in the factory is reasonable.
 Wonka shows everyone a candy he's very proud
 of. Violet is like "oh sick, that's gum, my special
 interest." Wonka is then pulls a "WRONG! It's
 amazing guml So in the very moments before
 she takes the gum Wonka has mislead her just
 to belittle her. So when he's like I wouldn't do
 that" why should she give a shit what he has to
 say? She's not like Charlie over here who's al
 Sure Gramps, let's stay behind while the tour
 leaves and secretly drink this thing that has been
 explicitly stated to fill you with gas and is too
 powerful for safe consumption, oh and also I
 just saw what happened to Violet so I actually
 KNOW what this stuff can be capable of" Also,
 Violet is not selfish about her experience, she
 tells everyone what she's tasting and feeling, and
 everyone is eager to hear it. Taking a personal
 risk to share knowledge with everyone. Violet
 is Prometheus: fact.
 So Augustus contaminates the chocolate
 river. Charlie sneaks around and contaminates
 the vent walls. Veruca destroys and disrupts
 the workspace. Mike knows exactly what will
 happen to him and transports/shrinks himself
 deliberately. Violet had no idea what the gum
 could potentially do to her, and caused no harm
 to anyone or anything but herself
 Lastly: Can you imagine Charlie filling Wonka's
 shoes? That passive, naive boy? Violet is
 already basically Wonka. She's passionate
 sarcastic, candy-obsessed, free thinking, and a
 total firecracker. She's even better than Wonka,
 because she doesn't endanger others.
 Violet should've been picked to inherit the
 chocolate factory.
 Source: evayna
 #charlie and the chocolate factory
 123,693 notes
Blueberry Boss