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         on a diet
        

            
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    Ass, Baseball, and Fall: jpg (46 KB, 1024x683)
 No.46363786
 Anonymous
 18 min. ago
 >be me
 >working register at mcd's like a fucking wagie
 mom and son come up
 >absolute units, their hands were fucking round
 perfectly fucking round, like a baseball
 little blob holding a small fish bowl, maybe they
 came back from Walmart after getting a fish
 poor fish, probably doesn't even get his ration of the
 fish food
 one of those families that has each family member
 go up to order for themselves
 hate these kinds of families
 mama blob starts ordering
 out of breath from standing in line
 >slams her elbows down onto the counter to rest
 while ordering
 could have fucking swore i heard the counter
 rumble
 yaah *pant* could i have a *pant* ahhhhh *pant*
 big Mac *pant* make that two actually... *pant* no
 three.... and a *pant* basket of fries and *pant* a
 large diet coke
 sweat beads fall down from her chins onto the
 table
 breathes in sharply
 struggles to take elbows off of table
 finally accomplishes the task

 finally accomplishes the task
 two huge wet marks take up the register section
 those are her fucking elbows
 her elbows actually fucking sweated
 little blob comes up to order
 "can i have 2 big Macs pant* a basket of fries..
 *pant* make that two actually *pant* and a large diet
 Coke *pant*
 brings fish bowl out onto counter
 "and... *pant* fill this up *pant* with chocolate
 *pant* milkshake
 >a
 fucking
 fishbowl
 sorry, our largest size is a large. we cannot fill
 things that aren't McDonalds cups
 mama blob starts throwing a tantrum
 "HE WANTS HIS FUCKING MILKSHAKE SO GIVE IT
 TO HIM"
 maam, we cann
 >"LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR GOD DAMN MANAGER
 go get manager
 >he just repeats what I said
 tells her she can buy about 10 large milkshakes to
 fill it if she wants
 "DAS TOO EXPENSIVE!!!"
 "TOO MUCH CALORIES!!!"
 >me and manager stare at each other
 did she really just say that
 mama blob sees us looking at each other
 cont.

 whole restaurant has been quiet this whole time
 just looking at us
 >mama blob hears something
 turns her body to look backward
 >a gentle greasy breeze hits me
 >sees a couple people snickering
 turns back around
 "YOURE EMBARRASSING ME!!"
 >me and manager stay silent
 tears start to well up in her eyes
 could have just been sweat though
 face turns redder
 grabs her son's hand
 "WE'RE NEVER EATING HERE AGAIN!"
 >something deep down told me that wasn't true
 >pulls her son's hand
 waddles out
 hear her panting as she opens the door
 notice something
 >me and manager both notice it
 look at each other
 there was something brown in the middle of
 Hammy's ass
 could it be
 could it fucking be
 look at her legs
 brown liquid streaking the inside of her right leg
 >she sharted
 >she actually fucking sharted
 and left a brown trail
 had to febreeze the fuck out of that place for 5
 minutes
 janitor almost puked cleaning it up
Hammy & Boy: A Shitty Quest for Fishbowl Milkshake
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    Ass, Baseball, and Fall: jpg (46 KB, 1024x683)
 No.46363786
 Anonymous
 18 min. ago
 >be me
 >working register at mcd's like a fucking wagie
 mom and son come up
 >absolute units, their hands were fucking round
 perfectly fucking round, like a baseball
 little blob holding a small fish bowl, maybe they
 came back from Walmart after getting a fish
 poor fish, probably doesn't even get his ration of the
 fish food
 one of those families that has each family member
 go up to order for themselves
 hate these kinds of families
 mama blob starts ordering
 out of breath from standing in line
 >slams her elbows down onto the counter to rest
 while ordering
 could have fucking swore i heard the counter
 rumble
 yaah *pant* could i have a *pant* ahhhhh *pant*
 big Mac *pant* make that two actually... *pant* no
 three.... and a *pant* basket of fries and *pant* a
 large diet coke
 sweat beads fall down from her chins onto the
 table
 breathes in sharply
 struggles to take elbows off of table
 finally accomplishes the task

 finally accomplishes the task
 two huge wet marks take up the register section
 those are her fucking elbows
 her elbows actually fucking sweated
 little blob comes up to order
 "can i have 2 big Macs pant* a basket of fries..
 *pant* make that two actually *pant* and a large diet
 Coke *pant*
 brings fish bowl out onto counter
 "and... *pant* fill this up *pant* with chocolate
 *pant* milkshake
 >a
 fucking
 fishbowl
 sorry, our largest size is a large. we cannot fill
 things that aren't McDonalds cups
 mama blob starts throwing a tantrum
 "HE WANTS HIS FUCKING MILKSHAKE SO GIVE IT
 TO HIM"
 maam, we cann
 >"LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR GOD DAMN MANAGER
 go get manager
 >he just repeats what I said
 tells her she can buy about 10 large milkshakes to
 fill it if she wants
 "DAS TOO EXPENSIVE!!!"
 "TOO MUCH CALORIES!!!"
 >me and manager stare at each other
 did she really just say that
 mama blob sees us looking at each other
 cont.

 whole restaurant has been quiet this whole time
 just looking at us
 >mama blob hears something
 turns her body to look backward
 >a gentle greasy breeze hits me
 >sees a couple people snickering
 turns back around
 "YOURE EMBARRASSING ME!!"
 >me and manager stay silent
 tears start to well up in her eyes
 could have just been sweat though
 face turns redder
 grabs her son's hand
 "WE'RE NEVER EATING HERE AGAIN!"
 >something deep down told me that wasn't true
 >pulls her son's hand
 waddles out
 hear her panting as she opens the door
 notice something
 >me and manager both notice it
 look at each other
 there was something brown in the middle of
 Hammy's ass
 could it be
 could it fucking be
 look at her legs
 brown liquid streaking the inside of her right leg
 >she sharted
 >she actually fucking sharted
 and left a brown trail
 had to febreeze the fuck out of that place for 5
 minutes
 janitor almost puked cleaning it up
Hammy & Boy: A Shitty Quest for Fishbowl Milkshake
                    
                
            

            
            
Hammy & Boy: A Shitty Quest for Fishbowl Milkshake

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                




    Apparently, Fresh, and Tumblr: Excellent
 Radiant source f
 Farms Sparkles
 UNICORN
 MEAT
 odut
 of Ireland
 Bi
 NET WT
 5.5 0 (156)

 Top customer reviews
 George Takei
 ☆☆☆☆☆ Tastes Like Spam
 July 9, 2013
 When my shipment of unicorn meat from RADIANT FARMS finally arrived, I prepared the fragrant pate as a maki roll, wrapped in seaweed and spread over some sushi
 rice, with a little unagi sauce on top. This had been a staple during WWII when spam was standard issue in Hawaii, and it was how my cousins used to prepare it. Ah,
 the memories. I even had a half carafe of cold, unfiltered sake to pair with it.
 Unfortunately, I found this unicorn meat brand to be quite similar to spam, both in texture and blandness. I'd been hoping for that zestier kick that comes from the
 rump cuts of other mythical and fantastical creatures, such as griffins or centaurs (for the latter, serve only the back half of the creature with guests, or it gets
 awkward)
 Apparently, as Dateline recently reported, "farmed" unicorns are force-fed mostly genetically modified grains, rather than their natural diet of skittles and ecstasy pills
 California in fact is ready to ban the practice and sale of such meat by referendum. Moreover, certain European countries were caught mixing in regular horse meat
 (yes, disgusting) so you never really know how pure the unicorn is.
 I say stick with fresh. I highly recommend TOM RIDDLE brand unicorn steaks, which arrive still oozing restorative blood. Ground into patties, they make a great burger.
 Comment 6,156 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes
 No Report abuse
<p><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.tumblr.com/post/172666301953/canned-unicorn-meat" class="tumblr_blog">novelty-gift-ideas</a>:</p><blockquote><p><b><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.com/canned-unicorn-meat/">

Canned Unicorn Meat</a></b><br/><br/></p></blockquote>
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    Apparently, Fresh, and Tumblr: Excellent
 Radiant source f
 Farms Sparkles
 UNICORN
 MEAT
 odut
 of Ireland
 Bi
 NET WT
 5.5 0 (156)

 Top customer reviews
 George Takei
 ☆☆☆☆☆ Tastes Like Spam
 July 9, 2013
 When my shipment of unicorn meat from RADIANT FARMS finally arrived, I prepared the fragrant pate as a maki roll, wrapped in seaweed and spread over some sushi
 rice, with a little unagi sauce on top. This had been a staple during WWII when spam was standard issue in Hawaii, and it was how my cousins used to prepare it. Ah,
 the memories. I even had a half carafe of cold, unfiltered sake to pair with it.
 Unfortunately, I found this unicorn meat brand to be quite similar to spam, both in texture and blandness. I'd been hoping for that zestier kick that comes from the
 rump cuts of other mythical and fantastical creatures, such as griffins or centaurs (for the latter, serve only the back half of the creature with guests, or it gets
 awkward)
 Apparently, as Dateline recently reported, "farmed" unicorns are force-fed mostly genetically modified grains, rather than their natural diet of skittles and ecstasy pills
 California in fact is ready to ban the practice and sale of such meat by referendum. Moreover, certain European countries were caught mixing in regular horse meat
 (yes, disgusting) so you never really know how pure the unicorn is.
 I say stick with fresh. I highly recommend TOM RIDDLE brand unicorn steaks, which arrive still oozing restorative blood. Ground into patties, they make a great burger.
 Comment 6,156 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes
 No Report abuse
<p><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.tumblr.com/post/172666301953/canned-unicorn-meat" class="tumblr_blog">novelty-gift-ideas</a>:</p><blockquote><p><b><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.com/canned-unicorn-meat/">

Canned Unicorn Meat</a></b><br/><br/></p></blockquote>
                    
                
            

            
            
<p><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.tumblr.com/post/172666301953/canned-unicorn-meat" class="tumblr_blog">novelty-gift-ideas</a>:</p><blo...