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The kind of parent I aspire to be: So I've been ruining my kids lives by saying "weird flex but ok to everything and when I do it they scream no and tell ma they're running away and I made this lovely photo lemme get it Weird flex but ok Ok so I need some help coming up with the absolute worst "to flex on" live memes ever to pretend Im an even more really lame parent. they don't have to make sense but they need to be absolutely awful yet believable enough that it isn't obvious Im intentionaly trying to be more lame Here's the ones I came up with so far "You ever just eat a well balanced diet and exercise daily to flex on heart disease? You ever just bol chilies to flex on your eyes? You ever just be cool to flex on your kids? "You ever just use sanitzer to flex on 99.9% of all bacteria and viruses?" You ever just turn all the lights and up the heater to flex on Dad? Catholic edition: You ever just ike recelve the sacraments frequently to flex on Satan? You ever just lke love your Mom to flex on Protestants? So l executed the first one in the kitchen then I dabbed and my son didn't say anything he just set down his pomegranate and walked out the front door with no shoes on and now he's walking down the street Ok so I walked down the block and I found him Update "'11 Boost令 9:36 PM That photo of u made it around the internet and you're famous Do you have a message from your fans. They want to hear from you Delivered Sen Help Message 0 Your son is named Egg Every part of this is hilarious 18,547 notes The kind of parent I aspire to be

The kind of parent I aspire to be

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<p><a href="http://youhateyourfat.tumblr.com/post/121163626522/cishetwhiteoppressor-fat-activists-get-upset" class="tumblr_blog">youhateyourfat</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://cishetwhiteoppressor.tumblr.com/post/115139137646/fat-activists-get-upset-because-a-little-girl" class="tumblr_blog">cishetwhiteoppressor</a>:</p> <blockquote><h2>Fat Activists get upset because a little girl started doing sports and has lost weight</h2><p><i>The humanity!</i></p></blockquote> <p>You know you lead an unhealthy lifestyle when you think that “diet and exercise” are a prison of sorts. </p></blockquote> <p>This is why I can&rsquo;t abide these idiot &ldquo;fat activists&rdquo;. You would rather have this CHILD suffer from a myriad of health problems than do things she enjoys and lose weight in the process because &ldquo;muh oppression&rdquo;. You guys are quite literally the worst.</p>: Tearsa: Girl loses 65 pounds in fight against childhood obesity. At 9, Breanna weighed 186 pounds. Breanna and her mother now work out at least an hour and 15 minutes every day. Breanna has also joined a swim team, a competitive cheer team and a basketball team to stay active. Read more here: http://www.cnn.com/2012/12/04/ health/child-weight-loss-bond/index.html? hpt-hp_c3 Write a comment... Post [tw: weight loss] This was on a local news station, WATE 6, and also posted on their facebook page. Many of my family and friends shared it saying things like So wonderful that she has reclaimed her life!". It's so sad to me because when I was 9, my mother would have called the local news if I had lost a few pounds, she was that obsessed. This is thin privilege. Thin people getting to wince at this poor 9 year old's "before picture, and oo and aww over her "after" She's 9. I'm honestly in tears having to write this. Mod note: To stave off the horrified "but I cant believe youre against this little girl getting healthy! comments, you have just as little right to police the bodies of children as you do adults. LESS right, considering that the bodies of children are still changing and the behaviors that come with restriction and heavy exercise (exercising 90 min a day plus joining 3 TEAMS) arent a priori good for children. Also, losing weight in childhood doesnt mean she has a better chance of keeping it off, and given that there's a national storying trumpeting the importance of her weight loss above all else, what do you think is going to happen when she deviates just a little from this grueling schedule and gains some weight? Or maybe she wants to join debate team and competitive choir next year instead of three sports teams? In other words, why do you fat haters think that diet and exercise should be this girl's prison because shes fat? -arte2life TAGS abuse fat discimination fat doesn't eual unhealth health healthism paental abuse paents submission hin parilege tigges waning <p><a href="http://youhateyourfat.tumblr.com/post/121163626522/cishetwhiteoppressor-fat-activists-get-upset" class="tumblr_blog">youhateyourfat</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://cishetwhiteoppressor.tumblr.com/post/115139137646/fat-activists-get-upset-because-a-little-girl" class="tumblr_blog">cishetwhiteoppressor</a>:</p> <blockquote><h2>Fat Activists get upset because a little girl started doing sports and has lost weight</h2><p><i>The humanity!</i></p></blockquote> <p>You know you lead an unhealthy lifestyle when you think that “diet and exercise” are a prison of sorts. </p></blockquote> <p>This is why I can&rsquo;t abide these idiot &ldquo;fat activists&rdquo;. You would rather have this CHILD suffer from a myriad of health problems than do things she enjoys and lose weight in the process because &ldquo;muh oppression&rdquo;. You guys are quite literally the worst.</p>

<p><a href="http://youhateyourfat.tumblr.com/post/121163626522/cishetwhiteoppressor-fat-activists-get-upset" class="tumblr_blog">youhatey...

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<p><a href="http://hazyneutrality.tumblr.com/post/115139483259/cishetwhiteoppressor-fat-activists-get-upset" class="tumblr_blog">hazyneutrality</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://cishetwhiteoppressor.tumblr.com/post/115139137646/fat-activists-get-upset-because-a-little-girl" class="tumblr_blog">cishetwhiteoppressor</a>:</p> <blockquote><h2>Fat Activists get upset because a little girl started doing sports and has lost weight</h2><p><i>The humanity!</i></p></blockquote> <p>&ldquo;Hurr durr exercising is a prison for yung gurls.&rdquo;</p></blockquote> <p>They actually tagged it &ldquo;abuse&rdquo; and &ldquo;fat doesn&rsquo;t equal unhealthy&rdquo;. I am stunned by the level of idiocy. They actually think it&rsquo;s this girls &ldquo;prison&rdquo; to be able to run and play? Holy junk.</p>: Tearsa: Girl loses 65 pounds in fight against childhood obesity. At 9, Breanna weighed 186 pounds. Breanna and her mother now work out at least an hour and 15 minutes every day. Breanna has also joined a swim team, a competitive cheer team and a basketball team to stay active. Read more here: http://www.cnn.com/2012/12/04/ health/child-weight-loss-bond/index.html? hpt-hp_c3 Write a comment... Post [tw: weight loss] This was on a local news station, WATE 6, and also posted on their facebook page. Many of my family and friends shared it saying things like So wonderful that she has reclaimed her life!". It's so sad to me because when I was 9, my mother would have called the local news if I had lost a few pounds, she was that obsessed. This is thin privilege. Thin people getting to wince at this poor 9 year old's "before picture, and oo and aww over her "after" She's 9. I'm honestly in tears having to write this. Mod note: To stave off the horrified "but I cant believe youre against this little girl getting healthy! comments, you have just as little right to police the bodies of children as you do adults. LESS right, considering that the bodies of children are still changing and the behaviors that come with restriction and heavy exercise (exercising 90 min a day plus joining 3 TEAMS) arent a priori good for children. Also, losing weight in childhood doesnt mean she has a better chance of keeping it off, and given that there's a national storying trumpeting the importance of her weight loss above all else, what do you think is going to happen when she deviates just a little from this grueling schedule and gains some weight? Or maybe she wants to join debate team and competitive choir next year instead of three sports teams? In other words, why do you fat haters think that diet and exercise should be this girl's prison because shes fat? -arte2life TAGS abuse fat discimination fat doesn't eual unhealth health healthism paental abuse paents submission hin parilege tigges waning <p><a href="http://hazyneutrality.tumblr.com/post/115139483259/cishetwhiteoppressor-fat-activists-get-upset" class="tumblr_blog">hazyneutrality</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://cishetwhiteoppressor.tumblr.com/post/115139137646/fat-activists-get-upset-because-a-little-girl" class="tumblr_blog">cishetwhiteoppressor</a>:</p> <blockquote><h2>Fat Activists get upset because a little girl started doing sports and has lost weight</h2><p><i>The humanity!</i></p></blockquote> <p>&ldquo;Hurr durr exercising is a prison for yung gurls.&rdquo;</p></blockquote> <p>They actually tagged it &ldquo;abuse&rdquo; and &ldquo;fat doesn&rsquo;t equal unhealthy&rdquo;. I am stunned by the level of idiocy. They actually think it&rsquo;s this girls &ldquo;prison&rdquo; to be able to run and play? Holy junk.</p>

<p><a href="http://hazyneutrality.tumblr.com/post/115139483259/cishetwhiteoppressor-fat-activists-get-upset" class="tumblr_blog">hazyneut...

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