🔥 Popular | Latest

Save
ups-dogs: The Bandanna of Betrayal.The Shawl of Shame.The Horrible Hankie of Hunger.The Do-Rag of Dietary Deprivation and Despair.Upon my arrival at the Patricia Green Winery in Newberg Oregon, I was confronted with a horrific sight that left me with an awful and impossible dilemma; I could either respect the cruel and inexplicable demands of the customer by denying biscuits to their dog Maggie, or I could break their rules and yield to the almost hypnotic, yearning gaze of her pleading eyes as she beseeched me to proffer her daily treats.I considered my options carefully as I looked around to see if anyone was watching. Their wishes were clear, but what harm could *one* biscuit possibly do? What kind of barbaric monster would force their sweet dog to wear a sign around her neck prohibiting treats? How could I possibly be expected to withhold her daily Milk Bone? What had she done to deserve such barbaric treatment? And how many biscuits could I sneak to her without getting busted?Fortunately, my questions were soon answered by the arrival of her owner who graciously explained the reason for this seemingly abusive act. It turns out that the vineyard had been hosting their annual fall wine tasting all week long, and was providing the guests with salami, prosciutto, breads, and various types of gourmet cheeses to be paired with the wines. And in her role as official tasting room mascot, Maggie was allowed to circulate freely amongst the guests, who of course were rendered as powerless as I by her beseeching gaze. The result of their copious offerings of such rich meats and sharp cheeses upon her digestive system are best left to the imagination, and her humans were left with no alternative but to take drastic action in order to prevent Miss Maggie the Manipulative and Malodorous Moocher from rendering the tasting room uninhabitable.Fortunately for her, however, the feeding ban did NOT apply to ordinary dog biscuits, thus leaving me free to be the hero and ease her pangs of hunger on what turned out to be Quadruple Biscuit Friday. All was right with the world once again!By Scott Hodges.: ups-dogs: The Bandanna of Betrayal.The Shawl of Shame.The Horrible Hankie of Hunger.The Do-Rag of Dietary Deprivation and Despair.Upon my arrival at the Patricia Green Winery in Newberg Oregon, I was confronted with a horrific sight that left me with an awful and impossible dilemma; I could either respect the cruel and inexplicable demands of the customer by denying biscuits to their dog Maggie, or I could break their rules and yield to the almost hypnotic, yearning gaze of her pleading eyes as she beseeched me to proffer her daily treats.I considered my options carefully as I looked around to see if anyone was watching. Their wishes were clear, but what harm could *one* biscuit possibly do? What kind of barbaric monster would force their sweet dog to wear a sign around her neck prohibiting treats? How could I possibly be expected to withhold her daily Milk Bone? What had she done to deserve such barbaric treatment? And how many biscuits could I sneak to her without getting busted?Fortunately, my questions were soon answered by the arrival of her owner who graciously explained the reason for this seemingly abusive act. It turns out that the vineyard had been hosting their annual fall wine tasting all week long, and was providing the guests with salami, prosciutto, breads, and various types of gourmet cheeses to be paired with the wines. And in her role as official tasting room mascot, Maggie was allowed to circulate freely amongst the guests, who of course were rendered as powerless as I by her beseeching gaze. The result of their copious offerings of such rich meats and sharp cheeses upon her digestive system are best left to the imagination, and her humans were left with no alternative but to take drastic action in order to prevent Miss Maggie the Manipulative and Malodorous Moocher from rendering the tasting room uninhabitable.Fortunately for her, however, the feeding ban did NOT apply to ordinary dog biscuits, thus leaving me free to be the hero and ease her pangs of hunger on what turned out to be Quadruple Biscuit Friday. All was right with the world once again!By Scott Hodges.

ups-dogs: The Bandanna of Betrayal.The Shawl of Shame.The Horrible Hankie of Hunger.The Do-Rag of Dietary Deprivation and Despair.Upon m...

Save
slaanesh-is-my-boy: feniczoroark: cephfuzz: thefloatingbitch: akkurai-zandervos: maxi-snacks: a-fox-in-the-woods: artisticly-lost-in-space: newt–x: spooky-scary-virgil: the-duke-remus: randommultifandomperson: 5up3r-nh: it-is-risen413: imalunnatic: iammymain: risanaulita: puff-the-bunny: sunny-day-doodles: doppio-okuyasu-and-fries: dice-bitch: artistically-gay: kin-cryptid: cheesems: crispyliza: fabulousqueenofqueer: sapphic-agent-4: emmas-dilemma: melon-official: queerwithfearz: the-worm-man: ghostii-with-the-mostii: frank-ieros-knuckles: i-dont-vibe-with-gender: strugglingpansexual: notice-me-cherry-pie: krystal-prism: acertainkindofscientist: unfaggy: averyboneyguy: carnival-phantasm: Gordon Ramsey fursona reveal! :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ Fools, See the Truth Gordon Ramsay is a pillarman you uncultured butt. : slaanesh-is-my-boy: feniczoroark: cephfuzz: thefloatingbitch: akkurai-zandervos: maxi-snacks: a-fox-in-the-woods: artisticly-lost-in-space: newt–x: spooky-scary-virgil: the-duke-remus: randommultifandomperson: 5up3r-nh: it-is-risen413: imalunnatic: iammymain: risanaulita: puff-the-bunny: sunny-day-doodles: doppio-okuyasu-and-fries: dice-bitch: artistically-gay: kin-cryptid: cheesems: crispyliza: fabulousqueenofqueer: sapphic-agent-4: emmas-dilemma: melon-official: queerwithfearz: the-worm-man: ghostii-with-the-mostii: frank-ieros-knuckles: i-dont-vibe-with-gender: strugglingpansexual: notice-me-cherry-pie: krystal-prism: acertainkindofscientist: unfaggy: averyboneyguy: carnival-phantasm: Gordon Ramsey fursona reveal! :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ Fools, See the Truth Gordon Ramsay is a pillarman you uncultured butt.
Save
Save
Save
College Vampires: PIRITS bookhobbit why is "olde vampires in high school" the big thing and not "olde vampires in college" everyone in college is eccentric. everyone you wanna wear full on Victorian suit? the girl in pajamas who clearly hasn't slept in three days supports you everyone is too preoccupied to care as long as you're polite and follow class etiquette multiple high school diplomas? eh. same stuff. multiple BAs? Enjoy learning chemistry AND art history! All in detail! wandering around campus at 3am? that's just the lifestyle tm * no matter how old or young you look it's not really that weird, there's sixteen year olds and sixty year olds doing BAs somewhere big schools are very anonymous so nobody's gonna bother to hassle you * anorthernskyatdawn the girl in pyjamas is the vampire themauvesoul Also: If u put ur blood in a water bottle ppl will assume it's juice and be Jealous "Oh god I'm a monster" 20 students who r all procrastinating big projects say "same simultaniousely and with the exact same tone Everything is a joke so if u say "I subsist on the lifeblood of mankind" someone will go "lol what a mood* It would take u like 100 years to major in everything Seen sucking the blood of a fellow classmate and u r instantly the campus Cryptid and Mascoft Listen. If u have an ethical dilemma go find a philosophy major that believes in ethical subjectivism and they'll make u so angry u forget abt whatever the fuck was bothering u College is the only acceptable place to get into fistfights over classical literature * e * iterally all u need to do to avoid suspicion is be the guy that alway:s has qum and a stapler If u have a majestic mustache ppl will just assume ur an English major Allergic to crosses? Cool. So r certain stem majors. e * College Vampires
Save