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Being Alone, Bad, and Fall: Same thing as yous Theseus. ARIADNE! What are YOU deing here? We're in THE UNDERWORLD. T got MURDERED raugh got thrown Oh, yeah, yikes. Me too, L+was was in though exile. ght off this It was cliff. Pretty bad. Hang on- Enough about ME Croy what have YOU been up to? I havent seen you in YEARS! didnt that keep in touch after that But okay here's what nappened: we after You mean, you lett me on Naxos to die? And you Said me, bt then I took oud marry You remember how we left Crete, after that sword gaveyu and golo thread, and killed the minotaur Jou and a nap you LEFT ME BEHIND I mean you can't REALLY blame me. You betrayed yar /family, How could you after THAT? My family fed people He didn't worry about my past We fell in love to a monster! and got married, But I forgive you guess because while I was on Naxos I met the most handsome Great glad you happy had a ife. Too bad all man I'd ever seen thngs an end, and Come to And ever since then, we've been so and so in love, and hapry now we're both stuck here in everything the Underworld... is Together just like the good old days... and alone for now... ARI ADNE WHERE ARE YOU Diony sus? Ft ARIADNE! Was so wonried! Babe! You... you married The God of Wine? God of Wine Ariadng I completely fargat weren't immortal. We need to fix that Theatre, and Ritual Madness, is the official ttle, I +hink. you Well decide laterSounds ike Plan And, hey Theseus? what do be the goddes thinkin passion NIce job with the minotaur. want to a let's now out Just get of here. For Yes? ruffboijuliaburnsides: oatmealraisinbagel: I know tumblr really loves Persephone and Hades, which I get, but my favorite Greek Mythical figure has to be Ariadne.  Until this year I had pretty much only ever heard of her in the context of the Theseus and the Minotaur myth, but her story actually continues past that and I love it.  (Disclaimer, as with any Greek myth there’s a billion versions, but my favorite goes like this) Ariadne helped Theseus kill the Minotaur.  She had to betray her family, but she knew she had to in order to stop the yearly sacrifices.  Theseus promised her he would marry her as thanks for her help. Theseus and Ariadne left Crete together, but since Theseus didn’t trust Ariadne to be a good wife, he left her behind on Naxos while she was napping.  Why didn’t he trust her to be a good wife?  She had betrayed her family. While on Naxos, Dionysus, god of wine, fertility, madness, theater, and celebration, happens to stop by.  He meets Ariadne and the two fall in love. Dionysus marries Ariadne.  Note: There are plenty of retellings of this myth, but almost all of them emphasize how happy Dionysus and Ariadne’s marriage was. Ariadne is killed and goes to Hades. Dionysus descends into Hades to get his wife back.  Ariadne gets to join the gods in Olympus, become immortal, and takes her place as the goddess of the labyrinth, mazes, paths, fertility, wine, and passion. Meanwhile, Theseus dies after being thrown off a cliff by Lycomedes. Ariadne is practically the personification of “the best revenge is living well” and I think that’s great. this is good shit.
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Alive, Apparently, and Bad: ORihad Herrma M S youmakemelikecharity: rock-moms: vastderp: gaybuttfuckzone: deltasniper1000: So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I’m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.] Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it’s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them. THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH) They are the world’s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE. They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn’t put them where they need to fucking go. So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it’ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it’s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. “If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.” No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job. They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) “Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!” Do not let that expression fool you, they just don’t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck. They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. “Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.” Yes, thank you. “But if they’re so bad at literally everything, why haven’t they gone extinct.” Great question. BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT’S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that’ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it. LIVE OCEAN SUNFISH UPDATE: FISH DISCOVERED TO BE MORE DUMB THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHTSo the top and bottom fins kind of wiggle all of the time and they are not sure exactly why but think it’s stabilization. BUT they can jump by turning on their side and using them as wing type things. It is suspected they do this as a way of “scratching” their parasite ridden bodies. So learning that I was like “huh okay they have a skill.” Then I discovered this: Since they are so terrible at swimming, the current will carry them into deep cold water. Then they die. So I have learned that they are so stupid they just get slowly consumed by a freezing death. All while they have the full ability for that to not happen. Because they’re fucking worthless floating garbage i read this out loud to my marine bio nerd friend and she agrees be nice to them they’re doing their best :(
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Arthur, Dallas Cowboys, and Nsfw: fracke TRIES NUDIT THE 5 REBLOGS CHALLENGE OPEN SHIRT 10 REBLOGS SHIPTLESS GERALT 15 REBLOGS PANTLESS DUTCH 25 REBLOGS UNDERWEAR ONLY 35 REBLOGS NUDE CENSO PAED) |ARTHUR 45 REBLOGS NUDE CuncensoRED BEBLOG THS PoST HACKERAXE. TUMBLR.COM hackeraxe: I read all your replies and decided to compile this little list! Not one, but all three of our fine young men, (if a nearly 100-year-old witcher counts as being young as well,) are up and ready to go for this challenge, and so am I. They’re my three favorite men to draw lately, so here they are!At 5 reblogs, there will be an open shirt Arthur Morgan drawing!At 10 reblogs, you’ll get to have a shirtless Geralt of Rivia!At 15 reblogs, you get to see Dutch without his pants on!At 25 reblogs, Geralt will only be in his undies!At 35 Reblogs, Dutch will be completely naked, albeit with a censor.And at a whopping 45 reblogs…Geralt, Dutch Van Der Linde, and Arthur Morgan will all be completely naked in all their glory, as nude as the day they were born.So, what are you waiting for? Reblog and tell all your buddies for the incoming shipment of nude cowboys and a witcher! All at the small fee of a few reblogs!(Disclaimer: These drawings won’t be immediate! I have to still complete one more gift drawing as well as a commission, so be patient. However, none of these can get started without your support!Disclaimer 2: This may be the very first time I ever draw male genitalia. I’ll be posting this as NSFW on my twitter account, if I figure out how to use this damn thing. https://twitter.com/hacker_axe)Have a great one, everybody! THIS POST BLEW UP SO FAST,, IM LEGIT SCREAMINGthe thirst is real

hackeraxe: I read all your replies and decided to compile this little list! Not one, but all three of our fine young men, (if a nearly 100-...

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Love, Target, and Tumblr: eakicthng kiethlydrawss: “Lonely Priestess” - Kikyo from Inuyasha (Disclaimer: I actually love kagome and kikyo, they make great characters to the story of Inuyasha.) ^^

kiethlydrawss: “Lonely Priestess” - Kikyo from Inuyasha (Disclaimer: I actually love kagome and kikyo, they make great characters to the sto...

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Children, Community, and Crime: Local Hero Arrested After Killing 30 Pedophiles In Murder Spree Sean Adl-Tabatabai 3 days ago "I've been killing pedos for, damn, close to 15 years now," "It started a few years back, after a girl I was dating was raped and murdered." "I tracked the guy down myself, slit his throat." "I realized I had a real knack for it after that, so I kept going." nunyabizni: eeveelutionsforequality: paradisemantis: jack-o-fficial: paradisemantis: blacklivezmatter: the-map-community-is-dangerous: whyyoustabbedme: free him he’s doing better than American Justice system The hero we’ve literally always asked for. Been killing for 15 years but it started a few years back. I approve though Murder is a fucking HUGE nope Molesting children is a bigger one though, lmao. Kill the fuckers that do that. Though I do kinda worry about how many people may have been actual false-accused victims. No person has the right to go beyond the reaches of the law, especially to such a disgustingly excessive extent, regardless of how morally justified they feel in doing so and any suggestions to the contrary are ill-informed at best and dangerously destructive at worst. The law and legal system exist to met out punishment, you don’t have the right and you shouldn’t.Innocent people are just one example of problems that arise when you decide to take matters into your own hands by fucking murdering people you don’t like. I cannot believe I have to actually type and explain this to people, even a single person thinking like this is too many. The title should say “Vigilante Serial Killer Arrested After Killing 30 Alleged Pedophiles” not “Hero”. We don’t deal with crime with mob rule and guilty (especially to the point of sentencing to death) until proven innocent. We don’t want a society where your vengeful shitty ex can lie and tell a person that you’re a pedo and have you brutally slaughtered. ~ Vape If y’all want to have a moral discussion as to if he was right or not, he wasn’t, that’s fine.  This story is as fake as shit though.  Seriously this guy would have been all over the news if this happened.https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/vigilante-arrested-killing-30-pedophiles/There was no truth to this story, which originated with (and was solely reported by) Empire News, a fake news web site whose disclaimer identifies its contents as “entertainment”: Empire News is intended for entertainment purposes only. Our website and social media content uses only fictional names, except in cases of public figure and celebrity parody or satirization. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental.
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Shade, Tumblr, and Blog: i-m-snek: Happy Spring! 3(Disclaimer, she was never in direct sunlight. I made sure to keep her in the shade of the trees or the clouds)

i-m-snek: Happy Spring! 3(Disclaimer, she was never in direct sunlight. I made sure to keep her in the shade of the trees or the clouds)

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