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Apparently, Crime, and Dating: writing-prompt-s A dating service where matching is based people's search history exists. You're a serial killer. You go on a date with a writer. endreams-s Serial Killer: metaphorically, if you were to kill someone, how would you do it? Writer: Air shot between the toes, it'll look like a heart attack. Serial Killer who is obviously in love already: *sucks in a breath* ok fangoddess817 Writer: how long would it take to die if you were to potentially stab someone in the guts Serial killer: anywhere from 2 to 30 minutes Writer, already bringing a ring out: *shaking* thanks December C) Baby infinityonthot A++ addition tetsuskitten Writer: *shows the serial killer the murder scene they're writing* babe, i'm not sure if this would actually work? Serial killer: *kisses writer on the forehead and leaves, comes back later, a suspicious scent of blood coming off them* it works baby, you're doing great tigerliliesandcherryblossoms I LOVE THIS vmohlere Oh no, murder comedy is my jam laziestofthedreamers I love this, I love all of this, but quick question, does the author know? Like are they aware that their significant other is a serial killer or do they just think that they have a morbid sense of humor? It'd be even funnier if the author had no fucking clue, like how Aurthur Conan Doyle was apparently stupidly gullible, and on top of it they're a horror or crime novelist. Like the serial killer works at a butcher shop or something so it's completely normal for them to come home smelling like blood, no murders going on here, no sirey. Just my darling coming back home from a long day at work. Now fast forward a bit and the author has managed to get their first book published, with loving support from the serial killer who helped them fine tune all the murder scenes, and it's a big hit. Enough so that detective with the local police department has noticed some disturbing similarities to several active cases, including details that were never released to the press. Obviously he brings this up to his superior and convinces him that there's something to the theory, but it's all circumstantial right now. He stakes out the author's home and is super convinced that the author is the murderer, but they don't seem to do anything??? Like they literally are at the house all day, that's it. Most they do is leave for groceries. So you get this dynamic of the serial killer mining the author for creative murder schemes, the author being lovingly encouraged by the serial killer, and finally the detective who is just so sure that the author is the killer and that if he sticks it out long enough he'll FINALLY have proof. annieutimagines Plot twist, The serial killer and detective use to go out so it gets sub what personal. "You need to stop seeing them. I think they are a serial killer." Serial killer breaths in. "Look-" I love this so much
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Apparently, Crime, and Dating: writing-prompt-s A dating service where matching is based on people's search history exists. You're a serial killer. You go on a date with a writer. endreams-s Serial Killer: metaphorically, if you were to kill someone, how would you do it? Writer: Air shot between the toes, it'll look like a heart attack Serial Killer who is obviously in love already: "sucks in a breath ok fangoddess817 Writer: how long would it take to die if you were to potentially stab someone in the guts Serial killer: anywhere from 2 to 30 minutes Writer, already bringing a ring out: "shaking thanks infinityonthot A++ addition tetsuskitten Writer: "shows the serial killer the murder scene they're writing actually work? babe, i'm not sure if this would Serial killer: "kisses writer on the forehead and leaves, comes back later, a suspicious scent of blood coming off them* it works baby, you're doing great tigerliliesandcherryblossoms ILOVE THIS vmohlere Oh no, murder comedy is my jam laziestofthedreamers Ilove this, I love all of this, but quick question, does the author know? Like are they aware that their significant other is a serial killer or do they just think that they have a morbid sense of humor? It'd be even funnier if the author had no fucking clue, like how Aurthur Conan Doyle was apparently stupidly gulible, and on top of it they're a horror or crime novelist. Like the serial killer works at a butcher shop or something so it's completely normal for them to come home smelling like blood, no murders going on here, no sirey. Just my darling coming back home from a long day at work. Now fast forward a bit and the author has managed to get their first book published, with loving support from the serial killer who helped them fine tune all the murder scenes, and it's a big hit. Enough so that a detective with the local police department has noticed some disturbing similarities to several active cases, including details that were never released to the press. Obviously he brings this up to his superior and convinces him that there's something to the theory, but it's all circumstantial right now. He stakes out the author's home and is super convinced that the author is the murderer, but they don't seem to do anything??? Like they literally are at the house all day, that's it. Most they do is leave for groceries. So you get this dynamic of the serial killer mining the author for creative murder schemes, the author being lovingly encouraged by the serial killer, and finally the detective who is just so sure that the author is the killer and that if he sticks it out long enough he'll FINALLY have proof. annieutimagines Plot twist, The serial killer and detective use to go out so it gets sub what personal. "You need to stop seeing them. I think they are a serial killer." Serial killer breaths in. "Look-" ladyhavilliard ..perfect theskystealerthebookthief I need 4 seasons and a movie on this I would watch the hell out of this
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Apparently, Beautiful, and Children: Seanan McGuire @seananmcguire Oh, wow. Little girl in full meltdown because when her mom packed movies for the trip, she only packed the little boy's favorites 6/13/17, 4:02 PM 460 RETWEETS 1,625 LIKES Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire 1h Replying to @seananmcguire "FINDING NEMO is just as good," says Mom "DORY IS A GIRL LIKE ME AND YOU ONLY BROUGHT BOYS LIKE HIM," wails the girl I feel you, kiddo わ2 51 925 Mom is now asking girl to be reasonable, as apparently boy gets mad when he has to watch "girl" movies, and "You're more mature." わ35 42 620 Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire 1h I am so on this kid's side right now you have no idea 28 1,121 Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire 1h Little boy has joined conversation: "I like MOANA she likes MOANA we should do MOANA." A protest singalong has begun h1 56 931 Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire 1h Mom: "Don't disturb the other--" Both kids: "YOU'RE WELCOME YOU'RE WELCOME YOU'RE WELCOME." Mom--passengers. わ2 다 47 902 YOU SCREAM LIKE THE VENGEFUL MONSTERS YOU ARE, CHILDREN. YOU SCREAM ロ61 1,149 Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire 1h Update: l am now on the mom's shit list for helping with the lyrics to "Shiny." Both children now shriek-singing "SHIIIINYYYYYY." I wirn 24 54 Seanan McGuireネ@seananmcgure·1h Little girl now singing "How Far l'll Go" while little boy has launched into "Let It Go." Mom appears to need a drink. YOU EARNED THIS, MOM 12 46 1,047 Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire 1h Mom: You're disturbing people! Older woman with German accent: Do you want to know how the song goes in German? GERMAN GRANDMOTHER NOW TEACHING US DISNEY SONGS IN GERMAN. JAPANESE GRANDMOTHER INCHING CLOSER 15 136 Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire 1h MOM LOOKS TRAPPED, CHILDREN ARE DELIGHTED, THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER 13 47 1,428 Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire 1h I am like, 95% sure both of these grandmothers would adopt these children if given half a chance 29 1,026 Seanan McGuire @seananmcguire·1h Japanese grandmother has a beautiful singing voice, and is teaching us "Do You Want To Build A Snowman?" 10 52 Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire 1h We have attracted several more children and three more grandparents. I feel my work here is done peaceheather: linssweater: This thread omg ALWAYS reblog
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Dad, Dude, and Gordon Ramsay: Gordon Ramsay doesn't like being called "mate" mbelinky 11 videos 520,423 38 Subscribe 78856 canoninmunaone 1 month ago i'm not your mate buddy Reply 13d rockhaze 1 month ago Im not your buddy, pa Reply6in reply to canoninmunaone MultiJello123 1 month ago Reply 6 in reply to rockhaze dregz13 1 month ago I'm not your friend, cuz. Reply . 6ub n reply to Mutuello123 MultiJello123 1 month ago I'm not your cuz, bro. Reply 7in reply to dregz13 rockhaze 1 month ago I'm not your bro, mate. Reply . 9ié īreply to Mult ello 123 MultiJello123 1 month ago m not your mate, dog Reply . 10 1· in reply to rockhaze WunderDoob 1 month ago I'm not your dog, dude Reply 8in reply to Multuello123 MultiJello123 1 month ago I'm not your dude, broski Reply 8in reply to WunderDoob Jackj Oo 1 month ago I'm not your broski, son Reply8in reply to MultiJello 123 MultiJello123 1 month ago I'm not your son, dad Reply 11in reply to Jackj Oo Lord Vader 3 weeks ago I'm not your dad, son Reply 27in reply to Multülello123 MultiJello123 3 weeks ago I'm not your son, acquaintances of mine Reply 5 in reply to Lord Vader . Lord Vader 3 weeks ago I'm not your acquaintance, love 5ié in reply to Mult ello! 23 Reply . MultiJello123 3 weeks ago I'm not your love, sweetheart 5lé Reply in reply to Lord Vader . Lord Vader 3 weeks ago I'm not your sweetheart, babe Reply 5in reply to Multilello 123 MultiJello123 3 weeks ago I'm not your babe, darling Reply 5in reply to Lord Vader Lord Vader 3 weeks ago I'm not your darling, dearie . 6 lé Reply יי in reply to Mult ello! 23 MultiJello123 3 weeks ago I'm not your dearie, honey Replyin reply to Lord Vader Lord Vader 3 weeks ago I'm not your honey, sugar 51. in reply to Mult ello! 23 Reply . MultiJello123 3 weeks ago I'm not your sugar, baby Reply 3 in reply to Lord Vader . Lord Vader 3 weeks ago I'm not your baby, sweetie 31. in reply to Mult ello! 23 Reply . MultiJello123 3 weeks ago I'm not vour sweetie, lover 3 lé וי in reply to Lord Vader Reply . Lord Vader 3 weeks ago I'm not your lover, precious Reply . 8 in reply to Mult ello123 ' dimas0302 2 weeks ago That's it, that enough internet for me today in reply to Lord Vader Reply יי . Lord Vader 2 weeks ago I'm not your internet, random dude Replyin reply to dimas0302 Luke Skywaker 2 weeks ago I'm not vour random dude, Dad Reply9in reply to Lord Vader Lord Vader 2 weeks ago I'm... I'm not... I mean. find your lack of faith disturbing Reply 10in reply to Luke Skywaker pep-no: pepoluan: tasty-ghoul-boy: So I went looking at Gordon Ramsay videos and found this and laughed for about 10 minutes. This shall never be not reblogged. Time to reblog this again.

pep-no: pepoluan: tasty-ghoul-boy: So I went looking at Gordon Ramsay videos and found this and laughed for about 10 minutes. This shall ...

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