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portraitofemmy: possiblestoner: marzipanandminutiae: A. imagine your otp B. dear gods this country has massive issues I’ve been looking for this post for ages listen, I’ve read enough fanfic to know that they’re not getting divorced, but it’ll take about 35k of pining to figure that out. : Can you marry me 5:01 PM I just got back from my school and they said they cannot give me any aid except for unsubsidised loans unless l have a child, get married, or turn 24, so I have to get married Yeah ok I'll marry you I need a better fafsa application too Wait seriously Would you really do it Im doing actual research on it Are we doing this It would have to happen like lightning fast cause my next semester happens pretty damn soon I don't know how fast this happens lemme check Ughhhh okay so we'd need to get a marriage license which can be up to $30 depending on where we get it, and THEN we need to file for a marriage certificate I'm an ordained minister but idk if I could file my own marriage certificate get ordained and do it Can we go to Indiana? Let me check Dude Im so excited Its possible that I can get FAFSA to pay for an entire apartment for me to go to school in Milwaukee DUDE WHAT Okay so there's no minister registration required in lllinois so Yeah I'm looking that up right now Ive heard that if one partner commits adultery, thats grounds for a quicker divorce Yeah this sample form I'm looking at says "irretrievable breakdown" of marriage Worse comes to worse we can stage a fight but I think we can just say yeah it's not working out Does it include adultery divorce ranging from $15,000 to $30,000. Most of this money is spent on legal fees. So Fuck lawyers We don't need a lawyer We don't have kids we don't have property to divide up Oh thats only for a lawyer We don't have alimony to negotiate We're just two guys being dudes. Gettin a divorce portraitofemmy: possiblestoner: marzipanandminutiae: A. imagine your otp B. dear gods this country has massive issues I’ve been looking for this post for ages listen, I’ve read enough fanfic to know that they’re not getting divorced, but it’ll take about 35k of pining to figure that out.
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ouyangdan: kakaphoe: rikzpt: rikzpt: konigstigerr: unlimited-shitpost-works: ima-fuckingt4ble: my-little-ninja: dasha-loses-it: femburton: i think about this a lot The guy got his life and career destroyed by his divorce, cut him some slack. he was also sexually assaulted by a man who could destroy his career protect him reblog if the man on the right is just as beautiful as the man on the left people grow old? like, that’s a thing that happens? leave my guy alone. This man deserves everything let him he happy Ok… This is what happened to Fraser -His wife ditched him and asked for 900k a year, -He was sexually assaulted which he said kicked him into a deep depression -He stated that the stunts from the 3rd Mummy movie completely destroyed his body and he was in and out of the hospital for 7 years even having to get surgery to repair his vocal cords. -He apparently blamed himself for all this which only worsened his depression. This man has literally been through hell this past decade so please lets cut him some slack and wish him the best All this but also that picture on the right is a really bad paparazzi photo compared with a professional quality movie promo still. No one looks good when some random person snaps you on the street, regardless of who you are. Compare with this image from the GQ article last February: Proper lighting, professional setting, good angles etc. The dude is 49 and has had a rough couple of decades, but he’s still lovely to look at, and I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise. Could we leave one of the very rarely found unproblematic white dudes alone? His GQ piece is amazing and heartbreaking. He’s such a beautiful person. Not only that but only utter garbage people body shame. : ouyangdan: kakaphoe: rikzpt: rikzpt: konigstigerr: unlimited-shitpost-works: ima-fuckingt4ble: my-little-ninja: dasha-loses-it: femburton: i think about this a lot The guy got his life and career destroyed by his divorce, cut him some slack. he was also sexually assaulted by a man who could destroy his career protect him reblog if the man on the right is just as beautiful as the man on the left people grow old? like, that’s a thing that happens? leave my guy alone. This man deserves everything let him he happy Ok… This is what happened to Fraser -His wife ditched him and asked for 900k a year, -He was sexually assaulted which he said kicked him into a deep depression -He stated that the stunts from the 3rd Mummy movie completely destroyed his body and he was in and out of the hospital for 7 years even having to get surgery to repair his vocal cords. -He apparently blamed himself for all this which only worsened his depression. This man has literally been through hell this past decade so please lets cut him some slack and wish him the best All this but also that picture on the right is a really bad paparazzi photo compared with a professional quality movie promo still. No one looks good when some random person snaps you on the street, regardless of who you are. Compare with this image from the GQ article last February: Proper lighting, professional setting, good angles etc. The dude is 49 and has had a rough couple of decades, but he’s still lovely to look at, and I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise. Could we leave one of the very rarely found unproblematic white dudes alone? His GQ piece is amazing and heartbreaking. He’s such a beautiful person. Not only that but only utter garbage people body shame.
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astronomically-androngynous: sounddesignerjeans: princess-mint: alarajrogers: niambi: I’m???? Oh my God this actually explains so much. So there’s a known thing in the study of human psychology/sociology/what-have-you where men are known to, on average, rely entirely on their female romantic partner for emotional support. Bonding with other men is done at a more superficial level involving fun group activities and conversations about general subjects but rarely involves actually leaning on other men or being really honest about emotional problems. Men use alcohol to be able to lower their inhibitions enough to expose themselves emotionally to other men, but if you can’t get emotional support unless you’re drunk, you have a problem. So men need to have a woman in their lives to have anyone they can share their emotional needs and vulnerabilities with. However, since women are not socialized to fear sharing these things, women’s friendships with other women are heavily based on emotional support. If you can’t lean on her when you’re weak, she’s not your friend. To women, what friendship is is someone who listens to all your problems and keeps you company. So this disconnect men are suffering from is that they think that only a person who is having sex with you will share their emotions and expect support. That’s what a romantic partner does. But women think that’s what a friend does. So women do it for their romantic partners and their friends and expect a male friend to do it for them the same as a female friend would. This fools the male friend into thinking there must be something romantic there when there is not. This here is an example of patriarchy hurting everyone. Women have a much healthier approach to emotional support – they don’t die when widowed at nearly the rate that widowers die and they don’t suffer emotionally from divorce nearly as much even though they suffer much more financially, and this is because women don’t put all their emotional needs on one person. Women have a support network of other women. But men are trained to never share their emotions except with their wife or girlfriend, because that isn’t manly. So when she dies or leaves them, they have no one to turn to to help with the grief, causing higher rates of death, depression, alcoholism and general awfulness upon losing a romantic partner.  So men suffer terribly from being trained in this way. But women suffer in that they can’t reach out to male friends for basic friendship. I am not sure any man can comprehend how heartbreaking it is to realize that a guy you thought was your friend was really just trying to get into your pants. Friendship is real. It’s emotional, it’s important to us. We lean on our friends. Knowing that your friend was secretly seething with resentment when you were opening up to him and sharing your problems because he felt like he shouldn’t have to do that kind of emotional work for anyone not having sex with him, and he felt used by you for that reason, is horrible. And the fact that men can’t share emotional needs with other men means that lots of men who can’t get a girlfriend end up turning into horrible misogynistic people who think the world owes them the love of a woman, like it’s a commodity… because no one will die without sex. Masturbation exists. But people will die or suffer deep emotional trauma from having no one they can lean on emotionally. And men who are suffering deep emotional trauma, and have been trained to channel their personal trauma into rage because they can’t share it, become mass shooters, or rapists, or simply horrible misogynists. The only way to fix this is to teach boys it’s okay to love your friends. It’s okay to share your needs and your problems with your friends. It’s okay to lean on your friends, to hug your friends, to be weak with your friends. Only if this is okay for boys to do with their male friends can this problem be resolved… so men, this one’s on you. Women can’t fix this for you; you don’t listen to us about matters of what it means to be a man. Fix your own shit and teach your brothers and sons and friends that this is okay, or everyone suffers. The next time a guy says, “What? You don't want to be my friend?” I’ll text him this and then ask if he really wants to be friends or just have another potential girlfriend. y’all I am living for these analyses where the new way to fight the patriarchy is to teach men to love each other and themselves Im a communication student and can confirm the above is absolutely 100% accurate and it’s called agentic vs communal friendship theorized by Steven McCornack : Sprint Wi-Fi 2:25 PM Tweet tl saint lil rogue Retweeted Noob Saibot @Mommaafro So a woman's idea of being friends is being friends? Chef Nol @UR_SO_ COOL_NOL A woman's idea of "Let just be friends" is "Hey listen to all my problems and keep me company...while I have sex with someone else." 9/14/17, 9:26 AM 115 Retweets 168 Likes Tweet your reply 2 astronomically-androngynous: sounddesignerjeans: princess-mint: alarajrogers: niambi: I’m???? Oh my God this actually explains so much. So there’s a known thing in the study of human psychology/sociology/what-have-you where men are known to, on average, rely entirely on their female romantic partner for emotional support. Bonding with other men is done at a more superficial level involving fun group activities and conversations about general subjects but rarely involves actually leaning on other men or being really honest about emotional problems. Men use alcohol to be able to lower their inhibitions enough to expose themselves emotionally to other men, but if you can’t get emotional support unless you’re drunk, you have a problem. So men need to have a woman in their lives to have anyone they can share their emotional needs and vulnerabilities with. However, since women are not socialized to fear sharing these things, women’s friendships with other women are heavily based on emotional support. If you can’t lean on her when you’re weak, she’s not your friend. To women, what friendship is is someone who listens to all your problems and keeps you company. So this disconnect men are suffering from is that they think that only a person who is having sex with you will share their emotions and expect support. That’s what a romantic partner does. But women think that’s what a friend does. So women do it for their romantic partners and their friends and expect a male friend to do it for them the same as a female friend would. This fools the male friend into thinking there must be something romantic there when there is not. This here is an example of patriarchy hurting everyone. Women have a much healthier approach to emotional support – they don’t die when widowed at nearly the rate that widowers die and they don’t suffer emotionally from divorce nearly as much even though they suffer much more financially, and this is because women don’t put all their emotional needs on one person. Women have a support network of other women. But men are trained to never share their emotions except with their wife or girlfriend, because that isn’t manly. So when she dies or leaves them, they have no one to turn to to help with the grief, causing higher rates of death, depression, alcoholism and general awfulness upon losing a romantic partner.  So men suffer terribly from being trained in this way. But women suffer in that they can’t reach out to male friends for basic friendship. I am not sure any man can comprehend how heartbreaking it is to realize that a guy you thought was your friend was really just trying to get into your pants. Friendship is real. It’s emotional, it’s important to us. We lean on our friends. Knowing that your friend was secretly seething with resentment when you were opening up to him and sharing your problems because he felt like he shouldn’t have to do that kind of emotional work for anyone not having sex with him, and he felt used by you for that reason, is horrible. And the fact that men can’t share emotional needs with other men means that lots of men who can’t get a girlfriend end up turning into horrible misogynistic people who think the world owes them the love of a woman, like it’s a commodity… because no one will die without sex. Masturbation exists. But people will die or suffer deep emotional trauma from having no one they can lean on emotionally. And men who are suffering deep emotional trauma, and have been trained to channel their personal trauma into rage because they can’t share it, become mass shooters, or rapists, or simply horrible misogynists. The only way to fix this is to teach boys it’s okay to love your friends. It’s okay to share your needs and your problems with your friends. It’s okay to lean on your friends, to hug your friends, to be weak with your friends. Only if this is okay for boys to do with their male friends can this problem be resolved… so men, this one’s on you. Women can’t fix this for you; you don’t listen to us about matters of what it means to be a man. Fix your own shit and teach your brothers and sons and friends that this is okay, or everyone suffers. The next time a guy says, “What? You don't want to be my friend?” I’ll text him this and then ask if he really wants to be friends or just have another potential girlfriend. y’all I am living for these analyses where the new way to fight the patriarchy is to teach men to love each other and themselves Im a communication student and can confirm the above is absolutely 100% accurate and it’s called agentic vs communal friendship theorized by Steven McCornack
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rikzpt: rikzpt: konigstigerr: unlimited-shitpost-works: ima-fuckingt4ble: my-little-ninja: dasha-loses-it: femburton: i think about this a lot The guy got his life and career destroyed by his divorce, cut him some slack. he was also sexually assaulted by a man who could destroy his career protect him reblog if the man on the right is just as beautiful as the man on the left people grow old? like, that’s a thing that happens? leave my guy alone. This man deserves everything let him he happy Ok… This is what happened to Fraser -His wife ditched him and asked for 900k a year, -He was sexually assaulted which he said kicked him into a deep depression -He stated that the stunts from the 3rd Mummy movie completely destroyed his body and he was in and out of the hospital for 7 years even having to get surgery to repair his vocal cords. -He apparently blamed himself for all this which only worsened his depression. This man has literally been through hell this past decade so please lets cut him some slack and wish him the best : rikzpt: rikzpt: konigstigerr: unlimited-shitpost-works: ima-fuckingt4ble: my-little-ninja: dasha-loses-it: femburton: i think about this a lot The guy got his life and career destroyed by his divorce, cut him some slack. he was also sexually assaulted by a man who could destroy his career protect him reblog if the man on the right is just as beautiful as the man on the left people grow old? like, that’s a thing that happens? leave my guy alone. This man deserves everything let him he happy Ok… This is what happened to Fraser -His wife ditched him and asked for 900k a year, -He was sexually assaulted which he said kicked him into a deep depression -He stated that the stunts from the 3rd Mummy movie completely destroyed his body and he was in and out of the hospital for 7 years even having to get surgery to repair his vocal cords. -He apparently blamed himself for all this which only worsened his depression. This man has literally been through hell this past decade so please lets cut him some slack and wish him the best
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the-woman-of-belgravia: lafemmedemon: kungfucarrie: thessalian: oracleanne: good-night-white-pride666: Really happy to see this at my local library OOOOH. *happy YA librarian dance* I want this in every library, everywhere. After all, some kids won’t even google this stuff because they don’t want parents/siblings checking their browser history. This is really awesome. And if you’re not familiar with how the Dewey Decimal system works - the numbers subject-based, which means these numbers are applicable in EVERY library. So if you see something you want to research on this list - look for those same numbers in any of your local libraries. This is wonderful. Reblogging to possibly save a life : TeenS Help Yourself Look for these numbers on the shelves. For more privacy, use the self-checkout machines. 362.76 & 362.78 abuse/incest abusive relationships 362.8292 & 362.88 616.53 & 646.726 616.9792 362.292 616.8526 363.9609 & 613.94 612.661 306.4613 & 616.852 362.883 616.852, 616.8527, 616.85844 306.89 acne/skin care aids/hiv alcohol anorexia birth contro body changes/puberty body image date rape depression divorce drugs 362.292 & 362.2918 613.04243 & 613.7043 306.766 & 613.951 306.856, 306.8743, 618.2024 relationships & dating 305.235, 306.70835, 646.77 305.235 613.951 616.951 362.2, 362.28, 362.283 saclDbrary.org health/hygiene gbtq pregnancy self-esteem sex std's suicide the-woman-of-belgravia: lafemmedemon: kungfucarrie: thessalian: oracleanne: good-night-white-pride666: Really happy to see this at my local library OOOOH. *happy YA librarian dance* I want this in every library, everywhere. After all, some kids won’t even google this stuff because they don’t want parents/siblings checking their browser history. This is really awesome. And if you’re not familiar with how the Dewey Decimal system works - the numbers subject-based, which means these numbers are applicable in EVERY library. So if you see something you want to research on this list - look for those same numbers in any of your local libraries. This is wonderful. Reblogging to possibly save a life
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Sassing those intrusive thoughts away.: bpd-darling me (cleaning up): holds knife intrusive thoughts: what if me: ok edgelord we get it what if i slit my wrists right now can we please just focus egalitarian-nature-blog Additionally, me: *waiting for the subway* intrusive thoughts: what if you jumped me: it would cause a four hour delay while they pick your body parts out of the rails you fucking prick, can we please for once get on public transit without going through this rosefvondudehomie Also; Me: *walking along a busy road* intrusive thoughts: What if you just fell over in front of this truck? Me: It would back up traffic all fucking night and probably hurt a lot of people you prick. smallblueangel Gosh. I never have thoughts like this bpd-darling didnt ask but that sounds nice pluto-suxk Me: *walking down the stairs* Intrusive Thought: I could throw myself down these flight of stairs and leave more time for everyone else! Me: Or you end up with a broken wrist and sprain ankle you dickhead keep walking saveachocobo-rideaprompto Me: *driving on a bridge* Intrusive thoughts I could just drive straight into that lake and finish it right now. Me: You asshole, this is a new car. Just fucking keep going like everyon else you prick. noodle-boyy oh my god,MAAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA rosebadwolf1000 I needed this beka-tiddalik Me: *standing at a lookout* It's so beautiful here... Intrusive thoughts: yeah, look at that view, you could just step out into it and you'd probably never feel the impact when you hit the ground 20m below.. Me: Bitch, don't ruin the view for everyone else. Fucksake httpquotescum Me: *doing literally nothing* Intrusive thoughts: What if Me: Can't you just shut the fuck up and chill for once? God damn ramblingandpie Me: I wonder what my wife wants for dinner? Intrusive thought: a divorce Me: Now, Timothy, that's just uncalled for. You can't even eat that. Source: bpd-darling 233,165 notes Sassing those intrusive thoughts away.
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mollokoplus: mugglebornandraised: tadeuszkosciuszkoscoffee: reservoircat: captainscullyful: characterflaws: misslunasapphire: gerutha: phoenixaskani: If this woman was alive today, she’d have my vote. Shit. #she put frederick douglass on her ballot as v.p. too #unfortunately he didn’t know about it at the time #he read about it in the papers and was like ‘is this chick serious’ Victoria Woodhull 2016 This fails to mention that she was the first woman to run for US president, as well as being the first woman stockbroker on Wall Street alongside her sister Tennie Claflin, and their newspaper published the first English translation of the Communist Manifesto known to date @reservoircat HEY LOOK WHAT JUST POPPED UP ON MY DASH YES, I HAVE *OPINIONS* ABOUT THIS POST. Okay, for starters, Victoria wasn’t a sex worker. She wasn’t necessarily anti-sex worker in the manner of the time–she viewed it as a societal ill that occurred because of the inequality of women and the power structure which allowed and abused such sex work. But she very much wanted to destroy the structures that forced many women into sex work and sex trafficking. The claims that Victoria herself was a sex worker come from two things: her supportive stance on ‘free love’, i.e. the allowance for men and women to chose their own consensual sex partners outside of marriage, and her rise to power as a millionaire New York stock broker and newspaper owner. See, men of the time refused to believe that Victoria and her younger sister Tennessee Claflin could truly be such shrewd, ambitious and forward thinking businesswomen all on their own. So they spread the rumor that the sisters got their positions and fortunes from being sugar babies basically. She was also virulently anti-trafficking after her younger sister and business partner Tennie Claflin was kidnapped and sold into brothels by one of their business rivals. When this happened, Victoria and her husband Colonel James Blood tracked the traffickers down and retrieved Tennie at gunpoint from her captors.  Victoria was not well liked by her fellow suffragists either because she was an ardent supporter of Black suffrage and total equality of all races. She regularly told Stanton and Anthony to go fuck themselves. It was awesome. She was awesome. I just love Victoria Woodhull so much ;-; Can we necromance this woman and make her President? Her husband’s name was Colonel James Blood??? Her sister’s name was Tennessee???? Where’s the movie. I need it yesterday. And known by a surname not her husband’s. Fuck yeah! : STORICAL | "Victoria Woodhull, prostitute, spiritualist, STERICAL Wall Street broker, publisher of a national FACTS newspaper, ran for President of the United States against Ulysses S. Grant and Horace Greeley in 1872," notes Irving Wallace. "Her platform supported free love, short skirts, abolition of the death penalty, vegetarianism, excess-profit taxes, birth control, better public housing easier divorce laws, world government, and female orgasm."Truly a woman ahead of her time. mollokoplus: mugglebornandraised: tadeuszkosciuszkoscoffee: reservoircat: captainscullyful: characterflaws: misslunasapphire: gerutha: phoenixaskani: If this woman was alive today, she’d have my vote. Shit. #she put frederick douglass on her ballot as v.p. too #unfortunately he didn’t know about it at the time #he read about it in the papers and was like ‘is this chick serious’ Victoria Woodhull 2016 This fails to mention that she was the first woman to run for US president, as well as being the first woman stockbroker on Wall Street alongside her sister Tennie Claflin, and their newspaper published the first English translation of the Communist Manifesto known to date @reservoircat HEY LOOK WHAT JUST POPPED UP ON MY DASH YES, I HAVE *OPINIONS* ABOUT THIS POST. Okay, for starters, Victoria wasn’t a sex worker. She wasn’t necessarily anti-sex worker in the manner of the time–she viewed it as a societal ill that occurred because of the inequality of women and the power structure which allowed and abused such sex work. But she very much wanted to destroy the structures that forced many women into sex work and sex trafficking. The claims that Victoria herself was a sex worker come from two things: her supportive stance on ‘free love’, i.e. the allowance for men and women to chose their own consensual sex partners outside of marriage, and her rise to power as a millionaire New York stock broker and newspaper owner. See, men of the time refused to believe that Victoria and her younger sister Tennessee Claflin could truly be such shrewd, ambitious and forward thinking businesswomen all on their own. So they spread the rumor that the sisters got their positions and fortunes from being sugar babies basically. She was also virulently anti-trafficking after her younger sister and business partner Tennie Claflin was kidnapped and sold into brothels by one of their business rivals. When this happened, Victoria and her husband Colonel James Blood tracked the traffickers down and retrieved Tennie at gunpoint from her captors.  Victoria was not well liked by her fellow suffragists either because she was an ardent supporter of Black suffrage and total equality of all races. She regularly told Stanton and Anthony to go fuck themselves. It was awesome. She was awesome. I just love Victoria Woodhull so much ;-; Can we necromance this woman and make her President? Her husband’s name was Colonel James Blood??? Her sister’s name was Tennessee???? Where’s the movie. I need it yesterday. And known by a surname not her husband’s. Fuck yeah!
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sounddesignerjeans: princess-mint: alarajrogers: niambi: I’m???? Oh my God this actually explains so much. So there’s a known thing in the study of human psychology/sociology/what-have-you where men are known to, on average, rely entirely on their female romantic partner for emotional support. Bonding with other men is done at a more superficial level involving fun group activities and conversations about general subjects but rarely involves actually leaning on other men or being really honest about emotional problems. Men use alcohol to be able to lower their inhibitions enough to expose themselves emotionally to other men, but if you can’t get emotional support unless you’re drunk, you have a problem. So men need to have a woman in their lives to have anyone they can share their emotional needs and vulnerabilities with. However, since women are not socialized to fear sharing these things, women’s friendships with other women are heavily based on emotional support. If you can’t lean on her when you’re weak, she’s not your friend. To women, what friendship is is someone who listens to all your problems and keeps you company. So this disconnect men are suffering from is that they think that only a person who is having sex with you will share their emotions and expect support. That’s what a romantic partner does. But women think that’s what a friend does. So women do it for their romantic partners and their friends and expect a male friend to do it for them the same as a female friend would. This fools the male friend into thinking there must be something romantic there when there is not. This here is an example of patriarchy hurting everyone. Women have a much healthier approach to emotional support – they don’t die when widowed at nearly the rate that widowers die and they don’t suffer emotionally from divorce nearly as much even though they suffer much more financially, and this is because women don’t put all their emotional needs on one person. Women have a support network of other women. But men are trained to never share their emotions except with their wife or girlfriend, because that isn’t manly. So when she dies or leaves them, they have no one to turn to to help with the grief, causing higher rates of death, depression, alcoholism and general awfulness upon losing a romantic partner.  So men suffer terribly from being trained in this way. But women suffer in that they can’t reach out to male friends for basic friendship. I am not sure any man can comprehend how heartbreaking it is to realize that a guy you thought was your friend was really just trying to get into your pants. Friendship is real. It’s emotional, it’s important to us. We lean on our friends. Knowing that your friend was secretly seething with resentment when you were opening up to him and sharing your problems because he felt like he shouldn’t have to do that kind of emotional work for anyone not having sex with him, and he felt used by you for that reason, is horrible. And the fact that men can’t share emotional needs with other men means that lots of men who can’t get a girlfriend end up turning into horrible misogynistic people who think the world owes them the love of a woman, like it’s a commodity… because no one will die without sex. Masturbation exists. But people will die or suffer deep emotional trauma from having no one they can lean on emotionally. And men who are suffering deep emotional trauma, and have been trained to channel their personal trauma into rage because they can’t share it, become mass shooters, or rapists, or simply horrible misogynists. The only way to fix this is to teach boys it’s okay to love your friends. It’s okay to share your needs and your problems with your friends. It’s okay to lean on your friends, to hug your friends, to be weak with your friends. Only if this is okay for boys to do with their male friends can this problem be resolved… so men, this one’s on you. Women can’t fix this for you; you don’t listen to us about matters of what it means to be a man. Fix your own shit and teach your brothers and sons and friends that this is okay, or everyone suffers. The next time a guy says, “What? You don't want to be my friend?” I’ll text him this and then ask if he really wants to be friends or just have another potential girlfriend. y’all I am living for these analyses where the new way to fight the patriarchy is to teach men to love each other and themselves : Sprint Wi-Fi 2:25 PM Tweet tl saint lil rogue Retweeted Noob Saibot @Mommaafro So a woman's idea of being friends is being friends? Chef Nol @UR_SO_ COOL_NOL A woman's idea of "Let just be friends" is "Hey listen to all my problems and keep me company...while I have sex with someone else." 9/14/17, 9:26 AM 115 Retweets 168 Likes Tweet your reply 2 sounddesignerjeans: princess-mint: alarajrogers: niambi: I’m???? Oh my God this actually explains so much. So there’s a known thing in the study of human psychology/sociology/what-have-you where men are known to, on average, rely entirely on their female romantic partner for emotional support. Bonding with other men is done at a more superficial level involving fun group activities and conversations about general subjects but rarely involves actually leaning on other men or being really honest about emotional problems. Men use alcohol to be able to lower their inhibitions enough to expose themselves emotionally to other men, but if you can’t get emotional support unless you’re drunk, you have a problem. So men need to have a woman in their lives to have anyone they can share their emotional needs and vulnerabilities with. However, since women are not socialized to fear sharing these things, women’s friendships with other women are heavily based on emotional support. If you can’t lean on her when you’re weak, she’s not your friend. To women, what friendship is is someone who listens to all your problems and keeps you company. So this disconnect men are suffering from is that they think that only a person who is having sex with you will share their emotions and expect support. That’s what a romantic partner does. But women think that’s what a friend does. So women do it for their romantic partners and their friends and expect a male friend to do it for them the same as a female friend would. This fools the male friend into thinking there must be something romantic there when there is not. This here is an example of patriarchy hurting everyone. Women have a much healthier approach to emotional support – they don’t die when widowed at nearly the rate that widowers die and they don’t suffer emotionally from divorce nearly as much even though they suffer much more financially, and this is because women don’t put all their emotional needs on one person. Women have a support network of other women. But men are trained to never share their emotions except with their wife or girlfriend, because that isn’t manly. So when she dies or leaves them, they have no one to turn to to help with the grief, causing higher rates of death, depression, alcoholism and general awfulness upon losing a romantic partner.  So men suffer terribly from being trained in this way. But women suffer in that they can’t reach out to male friends for basic friendship. I am not sure any man can comprehend how heartbreaking it is to realize that a guy you thought was your friend was really just trying to get into your pants. Friendship is real. It’s emotional, it’s important to us. We lean on our friends. Knowing that your friend was secretly seething with resentment when you were opening up to him and sharing your problems because he felt like he shouldn’t have to do that kind of emotional work for anyone not having sex with him, and he felt used by you for that reason, is horrible. And the fact that men can’t share emotional needs with other men means that lots of men who can’t get a girlfriend end up turning into horrible misogynistic people who think the world owes them the love of a woman, like it’s a commodity… because no one will die without sex. Masturbation exists. But people will die or suffer deep emotional trauma from having no one they can lean on emotionally. And men who are suffering deep emotional trauma, and have been trained to channel their personal trauma into rage because they can’t share it, become mass shooters, or rapists, or simply horrible misogynists. The only way to fix this is to teach boys it’s okay to love your friends. It’s okay to share your needs and your problems with your friends. It’s okay to lean on your friends, to hug your friends, to be weak with your friends. Only if this is okay for boys to do with their male friends can this problem be resolved… so men, this one’s on you. Women can’t fix this for you; you don’t listen to us about matters of what it means to be a man. Fix your own shit and teach your brothers and sons and friends that this is okay, or everyone suffers. The next time a guy says, “What? You don't want to be my friend?” I’ll text him this and then ask if he really wants to be friends or just have another potential girlfriend. y’all I am living for these analyses where the new way to fight the patriarchy is to teach men to love each other and themselves
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