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Family, Tumblr, and Blog: radpapersportswagon: Me: *opens a family bag of Doritos*My friend:

radpapersportswagon: Me: *opens a family bag of Doritos*My friend:

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Dad, Hungry, and Scholar: dragonpuppies Elizabethan Peasant 1: Look yonder! Someone has writ upon that ceiling that thou art most easily gulled! Elizabethan Peasant 2: More fool they, for I cannot read Elizabethan Peasant 1: sighing, lowers his visage unto his palm* amityravenclawelf Elizabethan Peasant 1: Lo, hast thou learned to read? Elizabethan Peasant 2: Verily, and to compose as well Elizabethan Peasant 1: With haste, then, how is the word "i cup" composed? hi-def-doritos Elizabethan Peasant 1: what ho, I know a sporting jest! What art thou when thou art a peasant and art occupied in a privy? Elizabethan Peasant 2: I wist not, but certain am I that thou shalt tell me speedily. Elizabethan Peasant 1: Most verily, thou art a peon. little-niggah-sugar Elizabethan Child: Father, I have not yet broken fast and am filled with pangs of hunger Elizabethan Father: Hail, Filled With Pangs Of Hunger! Mine own name is Wybert marzipanandminutiae Elizabethan Scholar 1: Alack, I have in my purse but sixty-nine pence Elizabethan Scholar 2: Lusty fellow, knowst thou well what such a sum portends! Elizabethan Scholar 1 .I have not sufficient to sup on fowl ur-friendly-local-memer Elizabethan Scholar 1: Mine name is verily Micheal with a 'b', and I hast been afraid of insects mine entire Elizabethan Scholar 2: Cease cease cease. Wither is the bee? Elizabethan Scholar 1: Thither is a bee? vampyrewhore Mine outspoke companion: how many Appels art havested from a tree? Me: I know not, may it be twice a score? My companion: Nay fool, every Appel grows upona harvest sprig! Me: Frederich, upon the heavens I will strike thee down, for thy scalding wit is naught to my mighty brawn Source: dragonpuppies 86,585 notes Hi hungry, Im Dad
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Animals, Be Like, and Cats: more-zero-than-ace asked: How awesome do you think pet dragons would be? Like, not dragons the size of buildings, but maybe the size of large dogs or cats? braaains-archive answered: SO AWESOME hi-def-doritos -baby dragons -baby dragons that will try to bite lighters and cigarettes and any other form of flame including gas stovetops because a baby dragon biting flame is like a baby human chewing on a teething toy they just gotta do it -baby dragons that will also try to bite lightbulbs, including holiday lights and phone screens, because they haven't figured out yet that these are not Real Fire -baby dragons who love to just sit on the stovetop after the pots are removed and bask in the warmth -baby dragons who start up a little hoard of small household items that are metallic and/or shiny, like paperclips and keys because they've yet to be exposed to gold and jewels -baby dragons who beg at the din table -baby dragons who' ve figured out how to fly but not quite how to stop yet so they kinda just crash into something that's hopefully soft to stop themselves -adolescent dragons being introduced to jewelry for the first time and having to be told "no" unto they give up on stealing the items. For now stashes of silverware and change and rhinestones being found back in the cupboards -adolescent dragons who love music and can hum along -adolescent dragons getting used to their leashes and going on walks -adolescent dragons who learn to ride on your shoulder and at first you have to keep them tied to you so they don't fly off when you go outside but pretty soon they learn and they love you enough to stay with you -adolescent dragons going through crazy mood swings and being distant and aloof but eventuallv comina back for snuggles like always young dragons who start trying to preen your hair (it never goes very well but they try, okay? And you love them.) young dragons with tons of energy setting about doing everything possible to make their humans happy they can operate almost any lamp or lightswitch for you, and they'll try to open your cupboards when you're cooking and they'll press elevator buttons and unzip your backpack/purse briefcase and untie just about any small task they can do to make you happy your shoes and fetc h the paper and do -young dragons who think their scolding is what opens automatic doors for their owners young dragons who are incredibly, zealously eager to please ovon though they don't realy now what they'ro doing -middle-aged dragons who start to lose some of the energy but are now incredibly loyal and know you and your habits to a fault -mi s who start taking naps on the wi ra ledges and fall off a few times but they get the hang of it -middle-aged dragons who stay on your shoulder almost all the time now, wrapping their tail around your other shoulder for balance -middle-aged dragons that will affectionately rub their heads along your neck and cheek and jawline -old dragons who just lay around and nap happily all the time seriously they're like cats and sunbeams -old dragons who sit in your lap and eat off your plate at dinner because they've darn well earned the privilege and everybody else knows it -old dragons who are terrible influences and start showing the younger dragons how to hoard and steal shiny things -old dragons that curl up under your chin and lie on yourc and bask in your presence hest service dragons who help disabled people go about their ives -pet dragons who are basically therapy animals -pet dragons that are incredibly loving and demonstrative of that love -pet dragons who are loyal and who bond closely and work -pet dragons who are the sweetest things in the universe -pet dragons Pet Dragons

Pet Dragons

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