tonight
 tonight

tonight

manageable
manageable

manageable

fact
fact

fact

ons
ons

ons

matter
matter

matter

loves
loves

loves

go to
go to

go to

their
their

their

let me
let me

let me

ops
ops

ops

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Beyonce, Bitch, and Cheating: What girls really do when they go to the bathroom together Birds of a feather gone flock together. Every dude knows how annoying it is when you drop game on a girl but her friend be the Mutumbo of cock blocking. Girls move as a unit when it comes to their friends. Especially when going to the bathroom. Wanna bet? Take two female friends and put them on opposite ends of the world. Now let one of them go to the bathroom, when the other friend accepts her distress signal she goes as well. God be making people like that. I can’t have homies who girls have they passcode. This is like having the codes to launch nuclear missels. It’s unsafe. My boy Abel was the light skin of light skins so you know his girl wore the pants in the relationship. Me and him on double dates with our ladies. Him and his girl stay fighting. “If you not cheating let me see them text messages”. Boy silent like a mouse. She bonk gang that boy phone and went to the bathroom. Every girl in the restaurant stood up. I reached for my girl, another girl comes up to hold me back. This was a scene straight from iRobot. Every dude watched as all the girls crammed into the bathroom like a middle school fight. There was no one in the kitchen now. One dude went to knock on the door to check on his girl, there was no answer. He tried to poke his head in and caught a hit that sent him flying through the store front. That nigga dead now. I look and it’s worse than what I expected. The single friend is behind all the. It’s always the ones built like Ursula that be Bitter and bitchy. She got all our girls in some kind of bitter bitch spell. Girls be the FBI agents we keep joking about. Within minutes they were able to find every text, convo, phone call and transaction made. Had all that on big screen like we at a football game. We went to trial in a McDonald’s. There had to be bias during the trial. Every girl there listened to Beyoncé. We stood no chance. The jury found my nigga Abel guilty on 10 counts of cheating, polygamy, lying under oath, no ambition and Good dick. Whole squad guilty by association. That boy Abel serving 10 years in fuckboy purgatory. The system is constantly coming for black men. We all single now. Pray for Abel. He dropped the ball and hopefull

Birds of a feather gone flock together. Every dude knows how annoying it is when you drop game on a girl but her friend be the Mutumbo of co...

Anaconda, Be Like, and Dude: 12:03pm: hey gorgeous 12:05pm: how are youuuu? 12:08pm: you there? 12:10pm: hello? Babe? 12:13pm: HELLOOOoo 12:16pm: fucking slut, you're ugly anyways I mean at some point you need to know when not to stop shooting. If you shoot 0-9 from three, don’t be steph curry. Be like Hassan Whiteside in the fourth and the 4th quarter and take your seat young man. This same logic can be used with people. If it’s NOT working just stop. They say “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” but no need to keep hoisting boulders from ya mother’s basement King. Patience is everything when trying to secure anything in life. I tried to teach that to my homie Martin. He ain’t neva had no Daddy. Boy been patient for him to come from Walmart but we know for far too many of us has waited that wait bruv never coming back. Every dude know a guy who talks about a new girl he bout to pull you know his game weak like Krillin. I’m like “give it some time bro plus she light skin it takes 2 business day to generate a response” She ain’t know he liked him but this was the first step to success. I tried to tell him be different. Don’t text her “wyd” call her and ask about her day girls like that shit when dudes go out they way. This boy took it to the extreme. This man called and left a good 26 voice mails-like this some type of 1990’s rnb video. She ain’t answer his call all weekend. I was there for a few, Boy start apologizing for things he ain’t even do. “Sorry your dog died when you was younger I shoulda been there”. I shook my head for the real ones who got some balls to hold onto. Message after message he poured his heart out about he type of dude he was. Nigga STRAIGHT Lying through his teeth. After the 10th they were all pathetic. Have some pride bro. Nigga started getting mad and roasting her. He wrote a whole thesis telling her off. come to find out on Monday her grandfather died and she was at the funeral. This man done over shot and got her killed his chances with her. She told her brother about it. That man stretched Martin till next Tuesday. No literally he a accordion when he walks now. Pray for Martin.

I mean at some point you need to know when not to stop shooting. If you shoot 0-9 from three, don’t be steph curry. Be like Hassan Whiteside...

Bless Up, Boo, and Cheetos: Walter running for his daily swim One of my followers commented: “why do dog paws smell like Fritos? I still love them 😊.” See this raise a very important issue about women and that is, if she love u, she gon find nasty things endearing, whereas if she don’t fvck with u no more, she gon find nasty things HELLA NASTY. Case in point... 1) Fritos that smell like Fritos = yummy 😂. Don’t let nobody tell u different. When u was a kid and u seen them little bags with the yellow and maroon package boy it was on like all type of donkey kong. Deerishis. (2) Dog paws that smell like Fritos = bueno! C’mon now if a dog stink a lil bit that’s expected. He a animal. He ain always gon smell like rosebuds. (3) Humans that smell like Fritos = IT DEPEND 😂. Bruv u give a girl that soul-snatching, Nani wall chakra realigning, organ rearranging deep Pipington? Where the stomach end up where a lung should be and her liver trade places with her kidney bruv? Then it don’t matter no more. U could smell like Fritos. Cheetos. Bruv u could smell like a 17 lb slab of aged Camembert cheese on it, it don’t matter. She gon be texting her friend the next day (with a pack of iced peas on her Nani because she can’t move 😊) talmbout “GURRRRRL. WHY THIS MAN TAKE HIS DRAWLS OFF LAST NIGHT AND THE WHOLE ROOM SMELL LIKE FRITOS 😂 lmaooo 😂 Nah but he coming over again tonight doe 😆 we in the middle of a Seinfeld marathon. We bout to get to the episode where Costanza rock the big a$$ down coat u remember that one? Anyway girl lemme holla at u AYE like my last pic if u don’t mind bye boo!” 😂 But let that lil situationship end bruv? Oh now he ain’t cute at all. “GIRL I AM DONE WITH THAT MAN. CAN’T RETURN A TEXT. DON’T CLIP HIS FINGERNAILS. STANKY SMELLIN A$$, I AM DONE.” But her friend ain’t getting them texts. Nope. Because her ‘friend’ is at Mr. Frito’s crib, putting toilet paper around the toilet bowl so she can pee bc his place filthy 😂. But see that’s when she knew the pipe game was beyond exquisite bc nobody would find frito smell cute unless dude was going Ham and Bananington on the Nani so she went to see for herself and now she supporting dude and paying his cell phone bill 😊. Y’all be safe now! Bless up 😂😂😂

One of my followers commented: “why do dog paws smell like Fritos? I still love them 😊.” See this raise a very important issue about women a...