๐Ÿ”ฅ Popular | Latest

Thanks, Karen.: We couid go out on an amazing first date, have great conversation, lots of laughs, enjoy the absurd amounts of firting before I charmingly end the night with a soft kiss on your cheek After that we'd get too busy and never talk to each other again. Interested? But what if it goes really well and we get married have this fairytale romance have 2.5 kids and eventually you get bored start sleeping with a co- worker I start eating my feelings, get diabetes. But we stay together for the kids of course and also people would judge you for leaving ur sick wife with diabetes What happened to half of one of our kids?i And did we at least give him half We had a dwarf son We call him LB For little bit of a person He struggles sometimes but L.B Looks forward to Christmas cards every year when he gets to play the elf sure there's not some time warp situation going on that we birthed Lil B the rapper, Because for the sake of the world we should just end it here id Hey you're the one having an affair. jus cheat on you with cake I'm sorry Karen! It's just with the two ids we never got time alone. And now you're filled with that nasty disease and I can't be intimate with you No I didn't say Karen. I said Marรญah Stop putting words in my mouth DAMNIT DEREK!!! It's like you don't even care anymore The pregnancies did a number on your body. And you refused to go to the gym with me. It's hard to care if you don't care And that's who it is.. Karen from accounting. she's a whore,, she slept with your sister for Christ sake.. Pull your shit together we have church in IDIDNT SAY KAREN AND I DONT EAT CAKE WHERE IS MY INSULIN DEREK Stop trying to kill by hiding my medicine WHY do yOu NEED insulin if you don't eat cake? HUH? IF YOU DONT EAT CAKE YOU DONT NEED Oh and don't even try that same story you gave me last week. TWINKIES ARE CAKE AND YOU KNOW DAMN WELL THEY ARE CAKE It's like AIDS DEREKl Once it's in you, it's in you for good Maybe if you would stop having sex with Karen We could bang it out every once in a while and I wouldn't How would you know anything about aids Mariah? I had to make out with you for 7 hours to get you out of your clothes our first time, You don't get that time back. You think I WANTED to watch How to lose a Guy in 10 days? No. I chose that, so 1 could get laid But once again, I had to do all the That's my favorite movie. And you said you liked it. Also it's not my fault it takes you 2.7 hours just to get a bra AND YOU HAVE TO WORK FOR WHAT YOU WANT But what would you and your whore Karen know about You've never been 1he same and you know it. Ever since our first date, when we It's not my fault the first time we had sex you got me pregnant. It's hard to be the same after that Why couldn't you have just worn a condom IT FEELS BETTER WITHOUTA CONDOM I KNOW IT, COSMO KNOWS IT AND YOU KNOW IT Fine it was good. But ask yourself this WAS IT WORTH IT The answer is yes, IM ALWAYS ls THAT what you were muttering last ight when you were eating those cupcakes behind the bed? I really need to take you on a date. Not because I like you or anything it's strictly because I'm a sucker for drama stories and have to see how these stories play out. I don't know You and Karen can hit me up Tailor Thanks, Karen.
Save
Unless ur me and u get so drunk that u go home without telling anyone n accidentally postmate 4 large pizzas (thin crust n thick crust), spicy chicken wings, cinnamon rolls and 2 sodas and you wake up to the delivery dude outside ur door and he makes a joke that ur having a party and ur like NOPE Iโ€™m alone eating my feelings so then heโ€™s like thatโ€™ll be 70 bucks so now ur forced to eat everything because u paid so much for it.. so then u shove different pizzas in ur mouth while crying urself to sleep, only to wake up with pizza stuck to ur body the next day!! NOT KIDDING THAT WAS MY FRIDAY NIGHT.: Evan @EvansPosts Girls will go to the bar sober with $4 and some sideboob and go home completely lit with $4 and a boxof pizza, masters of finessing Traducir del inglรฉs 1/30/18 21:11 Unless ur me and u get so drunk that u go home without telling anyone n accidentally postmate 4 large pizzas (thin crust n thick crust), spicy chicken wings, cinnamon rolls and 2 sodas and you wake up to the delivery dude outside ur door and he makes a joke that ur having a party and ur like NOPE Iโ€™m alone eating my feelings so then heโ€™s like thatโ€™ll be 70 bucks so now ur forced to eat everything because u paid so much for it.. so then u shove different pizzas in ur mouth while crying urself to sleep, only to wake up with pizza stuck to ur body the next day!! NOT KIDDING THAT WAS MY FRIDAY NIGHT.

Unless ur me and u get so drunk that u go home without telling anyone n accidentally postmate 4 large pizzas (thin crust n thick crust),...

Save
Meet @weightlosshero "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" is bullshit. I can promise you in both of these pictures chocolate chip cookies tasted exactly the same. The difference was how I have taught myself to THINK about food. I used to live for the next meal. Like...literally eating lunch I was thinking about what I would eat for dinner. I have learned to enjoy NEW things about food. I've learned to love cooking and am finding new ways everyday to make low sugar-carb meals that taste great but don't keep me from my goals. I've learned to stop EATING my feelings and find new outlets for them. Mine are playing piano and working out (even though I hate working out...it clears me mind.) . Today I challenge you to take up new ways to blow off stress. New ways to feel good. Cause I learned the hard way that while bad food feels good now...it doesn't make you feel good in the end. Happy Friday!" .: Meet @weightlosshero "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" is bullshit. I can promise you in both of these pictures chocolate chip cookies tasted exactly the same. The difference was how I have taught myself to THINK about food. I used to live for the next meal. Like...literally eating lunch I was thinking about what I would eat for dinner. I have learned to enjoy NEW things about food. I've learned to love cooking and am finding new ways everyday to make low sugar-carb meals that taste great but don't keep me from my goals. I've learned to stop EATING my feelings and find new outlets for them. Mine are playing piano and working out (even though I hate working out...it clears me mind.) . Today I challenge you to take up new ways to blow off stress. New ways to feel good. Cause I learned the hard way that while bad food feels good now...it doesn't make you feel good in the end. Happy Friday!" .
Save