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Ass, Bitch, and Crazy: PUCKER MY ANUS AND CALL ME EXCITED IT'S FUCKING HYDROGEN! 1.00794 YOU'RE PROBABLY ALL "HYDROGEN IS COMMON AS, BRO.I CANT GO TWO STEPS WITHOUT RUNNING INTO FUCKING HYDROGEN. BITCH IS LIKE 92% OF ALL ATOMS IN THE UNIVERSE." BUT YOU'RE ONLY SAYING THAT BECAUSE THE GIGANTIC SET OF HAIRY, PULSATING TESTICLES ON YOUR FOREHEAD IS BLOCKING THE VIEW OF THIS MAGNIFICENT BITCH: DO YOU KNOW WHAT POWERS THAT GIGANTIC, FIERY FUCKBANG RIGHT THERE? FUCKING HYDROGEN. THATS RIGHT BITCH, THERMONUCLEAR FUSION ALL UP IN THIS ORANGE MOTHERFUCKER, LET'S SEE YOU DO THAT WITH THOSE WANKY NOBLE GASSES. NOT ENOUGH? WELL FUCK YOU. HOW ABOUT THE FACT THAT HYDROGEN IS THE BITCHMEAT INA HYDROGEN BOND SANDWICH? FUCKING PLUGGED IN EVERY HOLE BY ELECTRONEGATIVE ELEMENTS TO KEEP YOUR DNA FROM FALLING APART LIKE A LEPER AT A FUCKING THEME PARK. WHAT A HARDCORE LITTLE TROOPER THAT HYDROGEN PRICK IS FUCK, IF YOU AREN'T IN THE THROES OF RAGING AROUSAL BY NOW HOW ABOUT GETTING SOME QUANTUM MECHANICS UP YOU?JUST SAY "QUANTUM MECHANICS" AND PEOPLE WILL THINK YOU'RE ALL SMART AND GET TURNED ON AND SHIT. THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING LAID AND IT'S ALL DOWN TO HYDROGEN, BECAUSE THE LITTLE FUCKER HAS ASIMPLE-AS-A-PALIN ATOMIC STRUCTURE, WHICH MEANS THE CRAZY SHIT UN-HEADFUCKS THEORETICAL EQUATIONS FOR SEXY-ASS PHYSICISTS BUT HYDROGEN ISN'T A FUCKING TOY WHEN HYDROGEN LOSES AN ELECTRON IT GETS FUCKING PISSED, AND YOU DON'T WANT THAT. GET ENOUGH OF THESE LITTLE FUCKERS MAD AND YOU GOT A RIOT ALL UP IN YOUR SHIT. D0 YOU KNOW WHAT A HYDROGEN RIOT IS CALLED? A FUCKING SUPERACID. YEAH, THAT S RIGHT. SUPERACID. SHIT, FLUOROSULFURIC ACID MAKES THE FUCKING FRENCH REVOLUTION LOOK LIKE A PAIR OF OLD HAGS FIGHTING OVER A POKER MACHINE HYDROGEN: TINY, BUT BOSS AS FUCK
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