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Baked, Dad, and Fail: So my mom told me a story... theguilteaparty Growing up, my mom and her siblings would make banana bread every week Literally every week since the first one of them leamed how to make it, they started making banana bread- lo and behold though, they liked it with walnuts and they all knew their dad hated walnuts So they made a special loaf of banana bread just for him every week, just for him to eat Nobody else was allowed to eat it because that was his banana bread, baked especially for him So anyways, they did this once a week from middle school up until every last one of them moved out of the house (and considering there was at least 10 years difference from the oldest to the youngest, this was quite some time) So that's like... 16 years of weekly banana bread. And he always finished it He, without fail, ate the whole loaf of bread by himself That's approximately 835 loaves of banana bread. Now Skip ahead a few years and they're all visiting and baking banana bread and they start making a dad's bread and their mom comes in, "I don't think he can handle eating one more slice of banana breadl What are you talking about? He loves banana breadl He had it all the timel This is when my grandma, their mom, broke the news that my grandfather loathed banana bread with every fiber of his being, He just adored that his kids loved him enough to make him a special loaf of banana bread every week (and he didnt have the heart to tell them that he couldnt stand banana bread) and he was incredibly, utterly upset that my grandma tokd the kids his big secret My grandfather was a loving, patent, gentle man who absolutely hated banana bread but loved his kids so much more and I just wanted to share that with you guys. I think this story is just about the perfect example of the kind of person he was I’ve read this story a thousand times and it still makes me cry. I’m gonna go hug my grandparents via /r/wholesomememes http://bit.ly/2WZFNwz

I’ve read this story a thousand times and it still makes me cry. I’m gonna go hug my grandparents via /r/wholesomememes http://bit.ly/2WZFNw...

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Baked, Dad, and Fail: So my mom told me a story... theguilteaparty Growing up, my mom and her siblings would make banana bread every week Literally every week since the first one of them leamed how to make it, they started making banana bread- lo and behold though, they liked it with walnuts and they all knew their dad hated walnuts So they made a special loaf of banana bread just for him every week, just for him to eat Nobody else was allowed to eat it because that was his banana bread, baked especially for him So anyways, they did this once a week from middle school up until every last one of them moved out of the house (and considering there was at least 10 years difference from the oldest to the youngest, this was quite some time) So that's like... 16 years of weekly banana bread. And he always finished it He, without fail, ate the whole loaf of bread by himself That's approximately 835 loaves of banana bread. Now Skip ahead a few years and they're all visiting and baking banana bread and they start making a dad's bread and their mom comes in, "I don't think he can handle eating one more slice of banana breadl What are you talking about? He loves banana breadl He had it all the timel This is when my grandma, their mom, broke the news that my grandfather loathed banana bread with every fiber of his being, He just adored that his kids loved him enough to make him a special loaf of banana bread every week (and he didnt have the heart to tell them that he couldnt stand banana bread) and he was incredibly, utterly upset that my grandma tokd the kids his big secret My grandfather was a loving, patent, gentle man who absolutely hated banana bread but loved his kids so much more and I just wanted to share that with you guys. I think this story is just about the perfect example of the kind of person he was I’ve read this story a thousand times and it still makes me cry. I’m gonna go hug my grandparents

I’ve read this story a thousand times and it still makes me cry. I’m gonna go hug my grandparents

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Alive, Beard, and Children: feniczoroark: minority-cubed: princemetalthunder: skrill-cosby: drucila616: How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?WITNESS: My name is Susan!_______________________________ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?WITNESS: July 18th.ATTORNEY: What year?WITNESS: Every year._____________________________________ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?WITNESS: Forty-five years._________________________________ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget..ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?____________________________________ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me?_________________________________________ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Getting laid____________________________________________ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?____________________________________________ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?WITNESS: By death..ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?WITNESS: Take a guess.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beardATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male._____________________________________ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.______________________________________ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight._________________________________________ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?WITNESS: Oral…_________________________________________ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PMATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?______________________________________And last:ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?WITNESS: No..ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. oh my god these are great fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes The last one is how I feel about all my schoolmates I can feel the frustration
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Being Alone, Be Like, and Bitch: 11Alive News @11AliveNews She went to the hospital to have her baby. Now her husband is raising two kids alone: on.11alive.com/2P9SS5 8:12 AM Oct 18, 2018 647 Retweets 929 Likes GEM @ROZtheCreator Dear BLACK WOMEN, It's time to educate ourselves even further... I believe it's time to hire more midwives or doulas and try to do home births.. idk if you guys didn't see that video where that Doctor explained that they don't listen BLACK WOMEN.., well here's proof 11Alive News @11AliveNews She went to the hospital to have her babv. Now her husband is raising two kids alone on.11alive.com/2P9SS5I 1:30 PM Oct 18, 2018 4K Retweets 6K Likes uncommonbish: mx-lamont: uncommonbish: BLACK MOTHERS shouldn’t be dying after giving birth but they are and it isn’t because of complications or health issues, it’s because NO ONE IS LISTENING WHEN THEY SPEAK! My little sister’s birthing is PRIME example of this! My parents ended up suing a hospital because Instead of the doctor being the one to deliver my little sister some random nurse did it. And SHE cut the umbilical cord (From where I come from that is the father’s duty) A janitor walked in right before delivery while my mom was in stirrups (business all out) to “mop the floor” They didn’t get my mom the right dosage of anastasia And to top it all off My mom literally KICKED that bitch of a fuckin nurse because on my mother’s paper work it say she is ALLERGIC TO LATEX!! 👏🏾AND👏🏾 WHAT👏🏾 DOES 👏🏾THAT👏🏾 BITCH 👏🏾WEAR👏🏾?!? LATEX GLOVES!!! My father had to run to the CVS across the street to buy a box of non-latex gloves for them to use because they didn’t have ANY non-latex gloves in the ENTIRE FUCKING HOSPITAL!!! I wish I were making this up. I wish I could just be like “lol jk” But my mother almost lost her life in birth because the hospital staff didn’t listen to her the SEVERAL TIMES she was trying to tell them something was wrong.
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Anaconda, Energy, and Funny: t1 Gravitas Free Zone Retweeted db pooper @lonelydandruff 2h I just realised americans think their medicine costs as much as they're charged for it Your Trusted Wizard @Choplogik iguess if i was an american & saw all the wildly exorbitant medical bills people get i would wonder how universal healthcare'd get paid for 07 216 357 queeranarchism: flyingfishtailoutpost1: thebibliosphere: lizardtitties: withasmoothroundstone: robstmartin: titleknown: Blogging this tweet because this explains SO MUCH about the mindset of pretty much all the folks I’ve known who’re against single-payer, it’s not even funny… This…. This never occurred to me. Not once. That Americans are against Health Care because they think it actually costs tens of thousands of dollars for a broken arm, hundreds of thousands for a complicated birth, millions for cancer treatment. Because they’ve never known anything different. The idea that a broken arm is only a couple hundred bucks; a complicated birth a couple thousand; cancer treatment only tens of thousands; all easily covered by existing tax structures. This explains a lot.  And it’s a good example of what I was talking about in my post on scarcity being used to prop up ableism – always question the idea that a resource is genuinely scarce.  Even if it seems obvious that it is, quite often that’s the result of careful manipulation and misconceptions that you’re not even aware of.   And never think you’re too smart to be fooled by that kind of thing, it doesn’t work like that.  Similarly, don’t think people who are fooled by something are stupid.  Nobody can have all the information about everything, and nobody has the time and energy to investigate and put together conscious conclusions about every piece of information they’re given.  It doesn’t take being stupid, or even just gullible, to believe something like this. I currently live in a country without free medical care and still, it’s enormously cheap compared to the USA. An American expat wrote a piece for our English language paper about how she paid more for parking at the hospital than giving birth to her baby that’s pretty interesting: https://grapevine.is/mag/articles/2016/01/06/healthcare-in-iceland-vs-the-us-weve-got-it-so-good/ Yesterday I had to go to the hospital cause I injured my eye, I’m frankly dreading what the bill is going to be, but what made me balk was being told in the pharmacy that my insurance was denied for the antibiotic eye drops and it’d be over $100 out of pocket. So I didn’t get my eyedrops. I’ve had these same drops before living in the UK. They cost me seven GBP. It’s the exact same drug, same steroid, same strain of antibiotic. But somehow the US gets away with charging $100 for a generic non brand version of a drug which is easy to create and widely used. It’s downright robbery, but also a form of eugenics through poverty and class warfare. You keep the poor poor by making sure basic necessities remain unattainable and then you make it seem like the norm so no one fights it. The rest of the world is not like this. Eat the rich. Resist. It’s downright robbery, but also a form of eugenics through poverty and class warfare. THIS. THISTHISTHIS. THIS IS WHAT I KEEP TRYING TO TELL PEOPLE. This  always question the idea that a resource is genuinely scarce.
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Being Alone, Be Like, and Bitch: 11Alive News @11AliveNews She went to the hospital to have her baby. Now her husband is raising two kids alone: on.11alive.com/2P9SS5 8:12 AM Oct 18, 2018 647 Retweets 929 Likes GEM @ROZtheCreator Dear BLACK WOMEN, It's time to educate ourselves even further... I believe it's time to hire more midwives or doulas and try to do home births.. idk if you guys didn't see that video where that Doctor explained that they don't listen BLACK WOMEN.., well here's proof 11Alive News @11AliveNews She went to the hospital to have her babv. Now her husband is raising two kids alone on.11alive.com/2P9SS5I 1:30 PM Oct 18, 2018 4K Retweets 6K Likes uncommonbish: mx-lamont: uncommonbish: BLACK MOTHERS shouldn’t be dying after giving birth but they are and it isn’t because of complications or health issues, it’s because NO ONE IS LISTENING WHEN THEY SPEAK! My little sister’s birthing is PRIME example of this! My parents ended up suing a hospital because Instead of the doctor being the one to deliver my little sister some random nurse did it. And SHE cut the umbilical cord (From where I come from that is the father’s duty) A janitor walked in right before delivery while my mom was in stirrups (business all out) to “mop the floor” They didn’t get my mom the right dosage of anastasia And to top it all off My mom literally KICKED that bitch of a fuckin nurse because on my mother’s paper work it say she is ALLERGIC TO LATEX!! 👏🏾AND👏🏾 WHAT👏🏾 DOES 👏🏾THAT👏🏾 BITCH 👏🏾WEAR👏🏾?!? LATEX GLOVES!!! My father had to run to the CVS across the street to buy a box of non-latex gloves for them to use because they didn’t have ANY non-latex gloves in the ENTIRE FUCKING HOSPITAL!!! I wish I were making this up. I wish I could just be like “lol jk” But my mother almost lost her life in birth because the hospital staff didn’t listen to her the SEVERAL TIMES she was trying to tell them something was wrong.
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Bad, Beautiful, and Fucking: Take the breadsticks Young Man and run Man young [door man hand hook said car gun deceit-the-snakey-snake: plaid-n-converse: cherrysconeslut: pawsofponies: garecc: inthishousewekinkshamefnaf: inthishousewekinkshamefnaf: buggykin: inthishousewekinkshamefnaf: inthishousewekinkshamefnaf: biggest-goofiest-fish: desertdaylight: kait-the-kitty: chiribomb: politicalcompassmemes: your-uncle-dave: maps-and-elvis-and-zelda-n-shit: japhers: jewishzevran: animatedamerican: pagesofkenna: mommacomms: fidefortitude: bl00dlikeice: elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey: plaid-n-converse: memeception WE’VE HIT TERMINAL MEME @caesarianconfection I’ve said “I hate this” so many times on this website, and never actually meant it, because “I hate this” is just shorthand for ‘this is an example of a meme given a twist I wasn’t expecting with intent to surprise’. Which is, in of itself, a meme on this site. God damn it. But this… This is something else. The rapidity of a meme’s introduction to its zenith to its decline is so rapid that in ten years, you’ll need a damn twenty-page manual to explain this. It’ll be as unfunny and hard to explain as jokes in Shakespeare plays, except even more inexplicable because fuck, at least Shakespeare’s jokes are usually about anal or fucking your mother, good wholesome sex jokes we can all get behind. For the love of fuck, how do you explain loss.jpg? How do you explain gun? ….I THOUGHT THIS WAS A YMCA REFERENCE it is a YMCA reference - that’s one of the 6 memes being represented here ok let me see if i can break this down easily. YMCA is the easiest place to start - the song itself has become a meme over time with people changing the lyrics to reference other pop cultural events. so YMCA is meme one (1) this first lyric replacement (”take the breadsticks and run”) is a reference to the tumblr meme ‘stuffing breadsticks into my purse’. i think everyone remembers that one so i wont bother to explain it. that’s meme two (2) “man door hand hook car door” is a meme of its own, a creepypasta from i dont remember when. it was a terrible stupid retelling of the generic ‘stuck in a car while hook handed man tries to kill us’ story so the stupid title caught on for memorability. that in and of itself is meme three (3) ‘gun’ is… yeah i dont know how to explain gun. long story short you add gun to the end of a phrase instead of what you expect the last word to be. its shock funny. its everywhere but its popular to add to “man door hand hook car door” for.. some reason? gun is meme four (4) and the thing is, this four meme combo is something thats gone around before. meme combos are, itself, a meme. which means taking this meme combo and mixing in another meme actually becomes meme five (5) which leaves us at loss.jpg. loss.jpg was a terrible bad comic supposed to be about some tragic event, but it was presented so poorly literally no one takes it seriously, and for some reason recreating the four-panel setup has become popular. so thats meme six (6) (but i need to add that this is the greatest version of loss.jpg i think i’ve ever seen. the initial ‘young man’ lines up with the guy bursting through the door, and the shock meme ‘gun’ matches the shock scene of the woman in the hospital and idk if OP even thought about that but it makes this just so much better) I wasn’t going to reblog this, but @pagesofkenna‘s comprehensive meme-by-meme annotation is a thing of beauty and should be shared. average tumblr post contains one meme, this post, which contains six, is an outlier and should not be counted it might also just be a coincidence due to loss.jpg’s format but the whole white minimalist four-panel setup is also suspiciously reminiscent of those early 2000’s rage comics I was getting a political compass vibe too tag urself im man door hand hook car gun This works better than I thought it would. This was in my senior project I’m not sorry. EIGHT MEME COMBO FATALITY We have officially created a new language  I just had to do it to em THIS FUCKING THREAD I’M GONNA CRY I LOST IT AND MAN DOOR HAND HOOK CAR GUN AND DIDN’T EXPECT MORE I’M SOBBING M E M E T E N OwO? W o w You know I had to I hope you know this is the most cursed addition to my post, and I love it THIRTEEN!? MEME COUNT:1 - YMCA (@plaid-n-converse, pointed out by @pagesofkenna)2 - breadsticks (see above)3 - man door hand hook car door (see above)4 - gun (see above)5 - meme combo (see above)6 - loss (see above)7 - 2000s comics vibes (@plaid-n-converse, as pointed out by @japhers)8 - political compass (@plaid-n-converse, as pointed out by @maps-and-elvis-and-zelda-n-shit, then highlighted by @politicalcompassmemes)9 - tag yourself (user was @your-uncle-dave but now appears to be deactivated)10 - i hate this (kind of barely used by @fidefortitude so idk if it really counts)11 - nickelback/look at this photograph (@inthishousewekinkshamefnaf)12 - had to do it to them (see above)13 - distracted boyfriend (see above)14 - is this a pigeon (see above)15 - oh, this is beautiful (@garecc)16 - expanding brain (@cherrysconeslut)17 - cursed (can be argues as a meme due to its excessive use and popularity, as well as the sort of subtext/emotion behind it that accompanies most memes on this site) (@plaid-n-converse)18 - weve created a new language (@inthishousewekinkshamefnaf)19 - owo (see above)20 - most ___ addition to a post (@plaid-n-converse)21 - it could be argued that meme analysis in itself is a memeFeel free to debate any of these or add any Ive missed, but I think I got them all??
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Android, Definitely, and Iphone: cayykes @Cayyykes On behalf of black people, we don't give a singular shit about your charcoal masks. Someone non black definitely did this. National Review@NRO Charcoal Face Masks Deemed an Example of 'Racism' and 'Blackface' bit.ly/2EkzwEU via @KatTimpf 3:51 PM 2019-02-22 Twitter for iPhone 19.5K Retweets 54.3K Likes Cherry Plum Stan Account @THISİSLULE I'm pretty sure no one thinks of thus as blackface but the purpose of headlines like this is to gaslight us and imply that ALL complaints about blackface are ridiculous National Review@NRO Charcoal Face Masks Deemed an Example of 'Racism and 'Blackface' bit.ly/2EkzwEU via @KatTimpf 2:00 AM Feb 23, 2019 Twitter for Android 7.7K Retweets 23.8K Likes takashi0: aridara: sweetblackdragon7: White liberals who try to “protect” and obsess over people of color are literally the most racist people. They turn everything into a giant mess of “look at these white people” rather than actually focusing on helping minorities. The article was written by a conservative who falsely claimed that anti-racism activists are outraged by charcoal masks. The author wrote that lie to paint anti-racism activists as people who turn everything into a giant mess of “look at these white people” rather than actually focusing on helping minorities. Probably happened as a result of the aforementioned white racist liberals normalizing headlines like this being written completely sincerely and people actually getting outraged publicly to the point where people have their lives ruined over lies and exaggerations.  Poe’s Law is out of control.
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Anaconda, Energy, and Food: t1 Gravitas Free Zone Retweeted db pooper @lonelydandruff 2h I just realised americans think their medicine costs as much as they're charged for it Your Trusted Wizard @Choplogik iguess if i was an american & saw all the wildly exorbitant medical bills people get i would wonder how universal healthcare'd get paid for 07 216 357 bogleech: the-library-alcove: flyingfishtailoutpost1: thebibliosphere: lizardtitties: withasmoothroundstone: robstmartin: titleknown: Blogging this tweet because this explains SO MUCH about the mindset of pretty much all the folks I’ve known who’re against single-payer, it’s not even funny… This…. This never occurred to me. Not once. That Americans are against Health Care because they think it actually costs tens of thousands of dollars for a broken arm, hundreds of thousands for a complicated birth, millions for cancer treatment. Because they’ve never known anything different. The idea that a broken arm is only a couple hundred bucks; a complicated birth a couple thousand; cancer treatment only tens of thousands; all easily covered by existing tax structures. This explains a lot.  And it’s a good example of what I was talking about in my post on scarcity being used to prop up ableism – always question the idea that a resource is genuinely scarce.  Even if it seems obvious that it is, quite often that’s the result of careful manipulation and misconceptions that you’re not even aware of.   And never think you’re too smart to be fooled by that kind of thing, it doesn’t work like that.  Similarly, don’t think people who are fooled by something are stupid.  Nobody can have all the information about everything, and nobody has the time and energy to investigate and put together conscious conclusions about every piece of information they’re given.  It doesn’t take being stupid, or even just gullible, to believe something like this. I currently live in a country without free medical care and still, it’s enormously cheap compared to the USA. An American expat wrote a piece for our English language paper about how she paid more for parking at the hospital than giving birth to her baby that’s pretty interesting: https://grapevine.is/mag/articles/2016/01/06/healthcare-in-iceland-vs-the-us-weve-got-it-so-good/ Yesterday I had to go to the hospital cause I injured my eye, I’m frankly dreading what the bill is going to be, but what made me balk was being told in the pharmacy that my insurance was denied for the antibiotic eye drops and it’d be over $100 out of pocket. So I didn’t get my eyedrops. I’ve had these same drops before living in the UK. They cost me seven GBP. It’s the exact same drug, same steroid, same strain of antibiotic. But somehow the US gets away with charging $100 for a generic non brand version of a drug which is easy to create and widely used. It’s downright robbery, but also a form of eugenics through poverty and class warfare. You keep the poor poor by making sure basic necessities remain unattainable and then you make it seem like the norm so no one fights it. The rest of the world is not like this. Eat the rich. Resist. It’s downright robbery, but also a form of eugenics through poverty and class warfare. THIS. THISTHISTHIS. THIS IS WHAT I KEEP TRYING TO TELL PEOPLE. My blood pressure medication (Candesartan) costs between $40-$125 USD for 30 tablets in the US.Here in Germany, 98 tablets costs me 5 Euro. The worst part is, the people pocketing the most of this money are powerful enough to keep it this way, and in the event that legislation of some kind actually brought prices down, they could cry to the government that their profits were taken from them and lobby to “make up” their losses in some way that you can guarantee will still hurt the lower classes.Most likely, they would end up getting billions in corporate welfare, and when it came time to make any budget cuts, they’d be able to use the same influence to keep their handouts while welfare and food stamps for poorer, hungrier people end up on the chopping block first.
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