🔥 Popular | Latest

Being Alone, Boner, and Do a Barrel Roll: People Can't Handle The Way Morrissey Describes A Boner In His Novel A bulbous salutation to you all. posted on Sept. 24, 2015, at 9:52 a.m Alan White BuzzFeed News Reporter, UK So, during a sex scene in Morrissey's recently published novel List of the Lost, this happens. Eliza's breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra's howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza's body except for the otherwise central zone." 03 thebibliosphere: doebarnes: mugsandpugs: jottingprosaist: shredsandpatches: hedwig-dordt: naznomad: martingoresangst: Thats the weirdest erotic sentence i’ve read all month this fucking post singlehandedly ruined my life You don’t really appreciate how fucking great fan fic is when it comes to writing sex untill you stop to recognise how Serious Literary Stars fail at writing sex. DO A BARREL ROLL #in all my years of reading fic i have never encountered a sentence this terrible #did he just say that his dick smacked EVERY MUSCLE in her body except you know her vagina? #like I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CHEEK I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE SHOULDER I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CALF #what is your dick doing?? #how do you think sex works morrissey?? Forget what his dick is doing, what are her breasts doing? How do a pair of fat sacks attached to a ribcage barrel-roll anywhere? Let alone across a man’s mouth and then his wanger immediately after? Sir, why is your mouth so dong-adjacent? Is your weiner detachable, is that it? Do you have your joystick clutched in your hand so that you can score a sweet schlong-to-titty-roll immediately after a kiss and then proceed to beat your banana all over her body in the world’s most failed attempt at erotic massage??? HOW DO YOU THINK SEX WORKS??? … guys ….. Are the sex scenes in My Immortal better than this?“HE PUT HIS THINGY IN MY YOU-KNOW-WHAT AND WE HAD SEX.” … I mean. Comparatively… Like, in My Immortal, it’s at least implied he knows where he’s supposed to put it. It’s very simplistic, Ikea-style sex (insert tab A into slot B) but that’s better than this vague, useless composition of random, nonsensical placement and movement of body parts. So yes, the sex in My Immortal is, in this sense, better. @goddessemily   was it this post?
Save
Anaconda, Finn, and Fucking: sugarteacat Apr 17, 2014 | Student Digital Artist I don't know if you have been informed but Hot Topic is actually selling this as a t-shirt: О.O Reply I hope they were able to use your permission! :C risno 4houirsagotor onkinonhiDitalasnotuSed with permission andes very thank you so much for linking this. it was not used with permission and it's very disheartening. Reply HOT TOPICEWSHP TO STORE FOR FREESyn h I HT-1 I Emal Social IStores NEW! SHP TO STORE FOR FREE GIRLS GUYS NEW TEES TANKS & SHORTSSHOES ACCESSORIES BAND MERCH POP CULTURE SALE CLEARANCE Online Only ALL TEES 20% OFF Use Promo Code TEES20 O Not Combinable With Hot Cash HOTTOPIC.COM POP CULTURE/TV/ ADVENTURE TIME Adventure Time In The Rain T-Shirt Adventure Time In The Rain T-Shirt SKU: 10171595 $24.50 20% OFF-USE CODE TEES20 ALMOST GONE 3X Availability Ships in 1- 2 days ADD TO BAG +Add to Wishlist Adventure Time T-shirt with an image of Jake and Finn standing in the rain. 100% cotton . Wash cold, dry low Imported commanderowl: casfresart: starstuckwastelanddog: zephyracloudbeast1293: filthyball: wolfwithinher: rickandmorty-some-things: strawberry-smiggles: madeinhellism: grimfaust: ponyking: naughtyjester: your-bud-crud: popstick: silascaptor: coffeeandcuteboys: girldoesnothing: adu101: piranhapunk: languidness: joyouscatus: You remember that post about the homestuck t-shirt design contest collaborating with hot topic? And how Hot Topic are the biggest art thieves?  This is recent.  As you can see above, I stumbled upon Hot Topic’s website and they are selling a very popular fan art put on a t-shirt, and did not ask permission from the original artist (rismo). This shows Hot Topic still continues their art thievery.  Hot Topic are still taking art from artists without their permission.  This is disrespectful and appalling. EXCEPT YOU DID GIVE THEM YOUR PERMISSION. BY AGREEING TO TERMS AND CONDITIONS ON DEVIANT ART. THEY SOLD IT TO A THIRD PARTY ROYALTY-FREE. http://www.deviantart.com/submit/agree woah oops deleting my deviantart account *instantly puts logo on my best pictures* 6. Payment Unless otherwise agreed between Artist and deviantART in a writing from deviantART, the license granted to deviantART under this Agreement is royalty-free. DeviantArt you literal piece of shit Uh what That’s not okay yo okay this is REALLY FUCKING IMPORTANT and imma be deleting my DA very soon because of it. are you fucking for real Just a heads up for people hosting their designs on DA Okay. I just read through the “agreement” that DA has implemented, and it is truly heinous. I will not be posting on DA anymore. ——— 3. License To Use Artist Materials. As and when Artist Materials are uploaded to the DeviantArt Site(s), Artist grants to DeviantArt a worldwide, royalty-free, non-exclusive license to do the following things during the Term: a) to prepare and encode Artist Materials or any part of them for digital or analog transmission, manipulation and exhibition in any format and by any means now known or not yet known or invented; (DA  can post them on their website and edit them in any way they see fit) b) to display, copy, reproduce, exhibit, publicly perform, broadcast, rebroadcast, transmit, retransmit, distribute through any electronic means (including analog and digital) or other means, and electronically or otherwise publish any or all of the Artist Materials, including any part of them, and to include them in compilations for publication, by any and all means and media now known or not yet known or invented ; (They can publish your art in any media, use it to showcase their website or even promote certain groups without your knowledge. For all you know, your art could be promoting the KKK.) c) to modify, adapt, change or otherwise alter the Artist Materials (e.g., change the size) and use the Artist Materials as described in Section 3(b); and d) the right to sublicense to any other person or company any of the licensed rights in the Artist Materials, or any part of them, subject to the terms and conditions of this Agreement. (They can edit, change, or otherwise modify your artwork in any way they want, as well as sublicensing it  to third parties, such as Hot Topic.) e) Artist acknowledges that Artist will not have any right, title, or interest in any other materials with which Artist Materials may be combined or into which all or any portion of Artist Materials may be incorporated. (By posting on FA, you forfeit your right to dispute any third party profits or copyright infringements upon your art.) f) During the Term, DeviantArt’s licenses under this Agreement include the right to use any part of the Artist Materials in the promotion, advertising or marketing of the DeviantART Sites. (DeviantArt can use your art to advertise anything they want.) g) As used in this Agreement, the term “Artist Materials” means any content uploaded to the DeviantArt Site(s) which may include without limitation Artist’s name(s) (including professional names), trademarks, trade names, likenesses, photographs, biographical materials, audio-visual materials, artwork, liner notes, and other graphical, textual, video, film or audio materials and any and all “skins,” computer-generated images or other artwork or images that Artist submits to DeviantArt in any medium or format whatsoever. (ANYTHING you submit to DeviantArt belongs to DeviantArt now. Including  your drawings, your photos, videos, your stock materials, your music/audio, your written stories, and your artist name.) Yes. THEY CAN EVEN USE YOUR ACTUAL ARTIST NAME. THEY OWN IT NOW,  IF YOU ARE PART OF DA. Fuck DA.  Burn them to the ground Pass it around That’s why I deleted months ago.It’s a terrible website and I hate it Passing on the PSA. I stopped using that site years ago. If you still use it, it’s not too late! Trash that shit. @everybery You should water mark the shit out of your stuff dear! I’ve had my designs on shirts without permission quite a few times ! Yep. Deleted over 400 drawings and photos from DA over an year ago. I used the site for over 8 years not knowing these terms of service since they don’t actually show them to you when you make an account. Sure you can find them if you do some digging but they don’t shove it to your face. Also it doesn’t matter if your art has a watermark or whatever. Like it says above they have the right to edit and modify your pics so they can just remove your useless watermarks and signatures and then use your art freely and you can’t complain because you have agreed to all of this. There is no reason whatsoever to use Deviantart (maybe if you are a stockartist that gives their shit for free lol). Leave this piece of shit site before they use you like the arrogant asshats they are. For anyone who still uses DA, please read this. This is relevant now more then ever because I see alot of people debating going back to DA Lolokaynevermind. Ver important in the light of tumblr purge. Many of you wold like to move to the DA and here is why it isn’t a good idea.
Save
Baked, Cookies, and Family: rsasai lumos5001 One of those things that the human mind doesn't actually understand is numbers. Take cookies, for instance. You look at some cookies. If there are more than four cookies, chances are that you have to actually count them. Uniess they're arranged in a specific geometric pattern, which can sometimes help (Your mind has a number associated with the pattern, and pulis that out when you look at it). So if you just look at some cookies, you dont really understand how many are there. Maybe a dozen? You dont know. So when you want to make some cookies, you find a recipe. This recipe usually telis you how many cookies it yields. A lot of the time, it's something like 18-24. 24 cookies?f you say. That might not seem like a lot. It's only two dozen, right? You try and picture in your head 24 cookies, but you cant really get a sense of the scale, of how many 24 cookies is So you're making cookies for multiple people. "24 doesnt sound like a lot of cookies for a few people... should double the recipe, is what you tell yourself. 48 cookies. That sounds a lot better, right? That's a lot of cookiest That wil be enough. So you make some cookies. Except now you have more than 48, because it's an estimation and you're not that great at dividing a batch of cookie dough into exactly 48 cookies. So you start baking them. Then you make the frosting, because you're making trosted cookies because awww yisss frosted cookies. Then all of your cookies bake. And you look at these 60 cookies you have now, and this bowl of trosting. That's a lot of cookies.. you think to yourself. Because now you see the cookies, and realize that 24 would have been enough. But you've baked them all, and made the frosting. So you settie down and start frosting cookies, one at a time. Each cookie is about three inches across. That's seven square inches of cookie. So you frost these cookies, except you cant just put them in a container because they'll have frosting on top and on the bottom and it'll be this giant mess. So you spread them out until the frosting has some time to set. Except now you need somewhere to lay them out. Each cookie may only be 7 square inches, but there's gaps. And some cookies are larger, some are smaller. It's not an even ft. So you just start spreading them over any available surface. And now your ktchen is covered in cookies And that is the story of how every available surface in my kitchen became covered in cookies. Like Comment Share 620 people Ske this thought of my friend's FB post the other day while making cookies booksnmusicals thought this was going to be something profound and meaningful but it's literally the long version of i fucked up rsasai NO BUT REALLY. Okay. So, last year I was making peanut butter cookies. I looked at the recipe, and it said that the bath would create 36 cookies. I was affronted by the idea of 36 cookies, because my family has like 16 people, and those cookies wouldn't go very far So. I doubled it. I ended up with over 250 cookies and I still don't even know /how. There were 6 other trays. Just FYI orteil42 keep going please Source: lumos5001 69,226 notes Cookies.
Save
Clock, Fall, and Fucking: someoneintheshadow456 The Last Words Of Famous Writers dali-dayvdreams When you've dedicated your life to words, it's important to go out eloquently 1. Ernest Hemingway: "Goodnight my kitten." Spoken to his wife before he killed himself 2. Jane Austen: I want nothing but death." In response to her sister, Cassandra, who was asking her if she wanted anything 3. J.M Barrie: " can't sleep." 4. L. Frank Baum: 'Now I can cross the shifting sands." 5. Edgar Allan Poe: "Lord help my poor soul. 6. Thomas Hobbes: "l am about to take my last voyage, a great leap into the dark," 7. Alfred Jarry: "I am dying... please, bring me a toothpick. 8. Hunter S. Thompson: "Relax this won't hurt 9. Henrik lbsen: "On the contrary!" 10. Anton Chekhov: "I haven't had champagne for a long time. 11. Mark Twain: "Good bye. If we meetSpoken to his daughter Clara 12. Louisa May Alcott: "ls it not meningitis?" Alcott did not have meningitis, though she believed it to be so. She died from mercury poison. 13. Jean Cocteau: "Since the day of my birth, my death began its 14. Washington Irving: "I have to set my pillows one more night, 15. Leo Tolstoy: "But the peasants... how do the peasants die?" walk. It is walking towards me, without hurrying." when will this end already?" 16. Hans Christian Andersen: "Don't ask me how I am! I understand nothing more." 17. Charles Dickens: "On the ground!" He suffered a stroke outside his home and was asking to be laid on the ground 18. H.G. Wells: "Go away! I'm all right." He didn't know he was in 19. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe: "More light. 20. W.C. Fields: "Goddamn the whole fucking world and everyone in it except you, Carlotta!" "Carlotta" was Carlotta Monti, actress and his mistress 21. Voltaire: "Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies." When asked by a priest to renounce Satan 22. Dylan Thomas: "I've had 18 straight whiskies... think that's the record. 23. George Bernard Shaw: "Dying is easy, comedy is hard 24. Henry David Thoreau: "Moose... Indian." 25. James Joyce: "Does nobody understand?" 26. Oscar Wilde: "Either the wallpaper goes, or I do." 27. Bob Hope: "Surprise me." He was responding to his wife asking where he wanted to be buried 28. Roald Dahl's last words are commonly believed to be "you know, I'm not frightened. It's just that I will miss you all so much!" which are the perfect last words. But, after he appeared to fall unconscious, a nurse injected him with morphine to ease his passing. His actual last words were a whispered "ow, fuck" 29. Salvador Dali hoped his last words would be "l do not believe in my death, but instead, they were actually, "Where is my clock?" 30. Emily Dickinson: " must go in, the fog is rising." vintage-mist Tag yourself. I'm HG Wells someoneintheshadow446 I'm James Joyce hummingbirdbandit No, but no one is explaining lbsen!! He had been really fucking sick for days, and woke up from a feverish night. His nurse? Wife? Asked him if he was feeling better. He smiled, said "On the contrary!" And died Supreme power move from my man lbsen Source: dali-daydreams #henrik ibsen #dying words 46,086 notes Mar 17th, 2018 Famous last words
Save
Clock, Fall, and Fucking: someoneintheshadow456 The Last Words Of Famous Writers dali-dayvdreams When you've dedicated your life to words, it's important to go out eloquently 1. Ernest Hemingway: "Goodnight my kitten." Spoken to his wife before he killed himself 2. Jane Austen: I want nothing but death." In response to her sister, Cassandra, who was asking her if she wanted anything 3. J.M Barrie: " can't sleep." 4. L. Frank Baum: 'Now I can cross the shifting sands." 5. Edgar Allan Poe: "Lord help my poor soul. 6. Thomas Hobbes: "l am about to take my last voyage, a great leap into the dark," 7. Alfred Jarry: "I am dying... please, bring me a toothpick. 8. Hunter S. Thompson: "Relax this won't hurt 9. Henrik lbsen: "On the contrary!" 10. Anton Chekhov: "I haven't had champagne for a long time. 11. Mark Twain: "Good bye. If we meetSpoken to his daughter Clara 12. Louisa May Alcott: "ls it not meningitis?" Alcott did not have meningitis, though she believed it to be so. She died from mercury poison. 13. Jean Cocteau: "Since the day of my birth, my death began its 14. Washington Irving: "I have to set my pillows one more night, 15. Leo Tolstoy: "But the peasants... how do the peasants die?" walk. It is walking towards me, without hurrying." when will this end already?" 16. Hans Christian Andersen: "Don't ask me how I am! I understand nothing more." 17. Charles Dickens: "On the ground!" He suffered a stroke outside his home and was asking to be laid on the ground 18. H.G. Wells: "Go away! I'm all right." He didn't know he was in 19. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe: "More light. 20. W.C. Fields: "Goddamn the whole fucking world and everyone in it except you, Carlotta!" "Carlotta" was Carlotta Monti, actress and his mistress 21. Voltaire: "Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies." When asked by a priest to renounce Satan 22. Dylan Thomas: "I've had 18 straight whiskies... think that's the record. 23. George Bernard Shaw: "Dying is easy, comedy is hard 24. Henry David Thoreau: "Moose... Indian." 25. James Joyce: "Does nobody understand?" 26. Oscar Wilde: "Either the wallpaper goes, or I do." 27. Bob Hope: "Surprise me." He was responding to his wife asking where he wanted to be buried 28. Roald Dahl's last words are commonly believed to be "you know, I'm not frightened. It's just that I will miss you all so much!" which are the perfect last words. But, after he appeared to fall unconscious, a nurse injected him with morphine to ease his passing. His actual last words were a whispered "ow, fuck" 29. Salvador Dali hoped his last words would be "l do not believe in my death, but instead, they were actually, "Where is my clock?" 30. Emily Dickinson: " must go in, the fog is rising." vintage-mist Tag yourself. I'm HG Wells someoneintheshadow446 I'm James Joyce hummingbirdbandit No, but no one is explaining lbsen!! He had been really fucking sick for days, and woke up from a feverish night. His nurse? Wife? Asked him if he was feeling better. He smiled, said "On the contrary!" And died Supreme power move from my man lbsen Source: dali-daydreams #henrik ibsen #dying words 46,086 notes Mar 17th, 2018 Famous last words
Save