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Bless Up, Homie, and Horny: the moon also rises @timaryu So I just spent 15 minutes looking for my cat. She was in my room the whole time. Dr Smash love Now let me tell u one more thing about red flags. They. Will. Never. Leave. Yo. Ass. Alone 😂. They hang around forever. Justttttt when u put they ass out of your mind u get that PERFECTLY timed text: "hey big head 😉". With that said here go the top three times a red flag will try to re establish contact with you: (1) 10:46 pm on a Saturday on a night where u shaved the kitty cat for the new guy u seeing and that new guy bailed on u. U at home. Looking cute. Watching Netflix. Kitty cat bald as Vin Diesel scalp. And u were all ready to be naughty and now u alone and lost in your horniness and red flag pop up like "hey you. You gonna be out tonight? 😉" And u thinking IGNORE but how do u reply? "Lol just chilling at home HBU". Within 45 minutes homie got u bent over your sectional and he giving u that pipe that make u literally hate your new man because u remember how good the red flag's pipe was 🙃. (2) Holiday. That's when that red flag hit u with the "hey you. Hope you're at home eating your mom's incredible pot roast and enjoying good company. Been thinking about you 😘". What do u wanna do? IGNORE. What do u ACTUALLY say? "Hey! I'm back next Tuesday. We should link up - it's been a while 😉." And now u naked on your sectional having post-thanksgiving sex 🤗. (3) Birthday. Red flags know all the birthdays. None of your other friends remembered except red flag: "hey sexy. Happy birthday! Hope you have fun tonight 😘." U don't even want to ignore. U legitimately taken by his sweetness and he bring u birthday cupcakes and now your face covered in Mandy's Cupcakes buttercream frosting and red flag's jizz and u just like "wow, this motherfvcker 😒." Now look. If u really had it with Mr. Red Flag, don't ignore him. He'll think u still like him, and text u again in EXACTLY four months. Instead, when he reach out, send the ULTIMATE dismissive text: "hey! Thanks. Hope you're well" No punctuation at the end. Do NOT give his ass an exclamation mark. U feel me? Word it just how I said it. And watch his snake ass slither to his next prey. U get me! Bless up 😍😂😂😂
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