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lyrica-in-nerdvana: daysofstorm: pilgrim-soulinyou: jeremyyyallan: fagraklett: Chinese emperor Ai of Han, fell in love with a minor official, a man named Dong Xian, and bestowed upon him great political power and a magnificent palace. Legend has it that one day while the two men were sleeping in the same bed, the emperor was roused from his sleep by pressing business. Dong Xian had fallen asleep across the emperor’s robe, but rather than awaken his peaceful lover, the Emperor cut his robe free at the sleeve. Thus “the passion of the cut sleeve” became a euphemism for same-sex love in China. — R.G.L. get you a dude who will fuck up his own clothing for you NO OKAY THIS IS REALLY COOL SO SHUT UP AND LISTEN KIDS. Ancient China was super chill about homosexuality okay. Like we have gay emperors and feudal lords, lesbian princesses who were girlfriends with their serving maids, gay ass poets who wrote lots of poems about that one courtesan who played the guzheng so well.In fact homosexuality was so okay that in Shiji, which is basically the Bible of Ancient Chinese history, there is an entire section dedicated to the gay lovers of emperors. What’s the best part? All the laws and criticism about homosexuality in Ancient China were all about shit like prostitution and rape. These laws were  outlawing homosexual stuff were all very specific. For example, there were laws banning male prostitution, but no laws against homosexuality. These laws were passed to stop the spread of prostitution and laws targeting prostitution in general were pretty common in Chinese history. There were also really strict laws about male rape. Rape was punishable by death, regardless of the gender of the victim. Rape a girl, you die. Rape a guy, you die. Have sex with a minor, you die regardless of whether it was consensual. The lightest sentence you could get was slavery where you were bound to the army.Also scholars wrote essays criticising the boyfriends of emperors, saying that they distracted the emperor from work blah blah blah but THEY ALSO DID THE SAME FOR THE CONCUBINES. That’s right - the issue wasn’t homosexuality but rather the hormones of the emperor. They didn’t care about the gender of the emperor’s favourite lover but rather the fact that the emperor was too horny to get shit done.“But WAIT, Modern China is a hardass about homosexuality!!!! How do you explain that!”Yes. That. That’s because of the late Qing years where Western influences entered the country and brought their gross ass homophobic attitudes with them. And the Qing government was so anxious to seem modern and be seen as equals to their Western counterparts. So they adopted Western ways and discarded their previous attitudes about homosexuality. Hence you have Modern China.So the next time someone tries to tell you that being LGBT is wrong because it goes against traditional Chinese values, tell them to go fuck themselves with 3000 years of Chinese queerness.  Here are all the illustrations of historical gay couples by Ryan Grant https://www.advocate.com/arts-entertainment/artist-spotlight/2012/08/11/ryan-grant-longs-history-gay-love#slide-0 This is one of the best things I have ever read. : lyrica-in-nerdvana: daysofstorm: pilgrim-soulinyou: jeremyyyallan: fagraklett: Chinese emperor Ai of Han, fell in love with a minor official, a man named Dong Xian, and bestowed upon him great political power and a magnificent palace. Legend has it that one day while the two men were sleeping in the same bed, the emperor was roused from his sleep by pressing business. Dong Xian had fallen asleep across the emperor’s robe, but rather than awaken his peaceful lover, the Emperor cut his robe free at the sleeve. Thus “the passion of the cut sleeve” became a euphemism for same-sex love in China. — R.G.L. get you a dude who will fuck up his own clothing for you NO OKAY THIS IS REALLY COOL SO SHUT UP AND LISTEN KIDS. Ancient China was super chill about homosexuality okay. Like we have gay emperors and feudal lords, lesbian princesses who were girlfriends with their serving maids, gay ass poets who wrote lots of poems about that one courtesan who played the guzheng so well.In fact homosexuality was so okay that in Shiji, which is basically the Bible of Ancient Chinese history, there is an entire section dedicated to the gay lovers of emperors. What’s the best part? All the laws and criticism about homosexuality in Ancient China were all about shit like prostitution and rape. These laws were  outlawing homosexual stuff were all very specific. For example, there were laws banning male prostitution, but no laws against homosexuality. These laws were passed to stop the spread of prostitution and laws targeting prostitution in general were pretty common in Chinese history. There were also really strict laws about male rape. Rape was punishable by death, regardless of the gender of the victim. Rape a girl, you die. Rape a guy, you die. Have sex with a minor, you die regardless of whether it was consensual. The lightest sentence you could get was slavery where you were bound to the army.Also scholars wrote essays criticising the boyfriends of emperors, saying that they distracted the emperor from work blah blah blah but THEY ALSO DID THE SAME FOR THE CONCUBINES. That’s right - the issue wasn’t homosexuality but rather the hormones of the emperor. They didn’t care about the gender of the emperor’s favourite lover but rather the fact that the emperor was too horny to get shit done.“But WAIT, Modern China is a hardass about homosexuality!!!! How do you explain that!”Yes. That. That’s because of the late Qing years where Western influences entered the country and brought their gross ass homophobic attitudes with them. And the Qing government was so anxious to seem modern and be seen as equals to their Western counterparts. So they adopted Western ways and discarded their previous attitudes about homosexuality. Hence you have Modern China.So the next time someone tries to tell you that being LGBT is wrong because it goes against traditional Chinese values, tell them to go fuck themselves with 3000 years of Chinese queerness.  Here are all the illustrations of historical gay couples by Ryan Grant https://www.advocate.com/arts-entertainment/artist-spotlight/2012/08/11/ryan-grant-longs-history-gay-love#slide-0 This is one of the best things I have ever read.
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apricot-studies: smartstudy: Hey guys. I’m glad to be finally posting my “mental breakdown survival guide”. As you know I struggle a lot with mental health, and so I have been through a lot of breakdowns. So many that I actually dropped out of university after 3 weeks in 2016 and had to take the whole year off. Because of this, I’ve made it my mission to help others with mental health issues as much as I can, so you don’t have to go through what I’ve been through. Anyway, here is my guide. I tried to keep it general, and actually useful. If you have any questions or additions please feel free to add them. And as ever, if you want to talk to me about studying with mental illness or want to see a post on a specific topic, please feel free to message me. thank you so much for this : Saving Your Grades From A Mental Health Crisis What To Do Before, During, And After by SmartStudy.tumblr.com IF YOUR GRADES ARE IN IMMEDIATE DANGER CONTACT YOUR TEACHERS This should be the first thing you do when you realise you're in crisis. Email them, and explain your situation in short, professional terms. You do not have to include details about your condition. "I have a mental health condition" should suffice as to the nature of the issue. Tell them that you are going to arrange to see a medical professional as soon as possible, and ask what process you should go through to defer/get an extension on assessment, and if they can help you in any way. Other people you may have to contact or CC in the email (depending on your school): University High School Head of House Class Coordinator Faculty/School Admin Disability Advisor Grade Coordinator Head of Department Academic Admin Counsellor School Counsellor Student Advocate BOOK A DOCTOR/THERAPIST APPOINTMENT ASAP This will be the person who can vouch for you the most. It's best if you have seen them before and they know you. If you can't get an appointment within a few days, call them and email them (if you haven't seen them before this will not work). Make sure to check out what counselling your university or school offers. During this appointment, the priority is to make a plan to get you back on your feet. This effort will not be useful if you stay a mess. Once you've figured that out, get two things from this person. One is a medical certificate/letter stating that you have, in fact, been going through this crisis. Second is a letter that describes the nature of the crisis, what treatment you're going through, and which people to contact (psychiatrists, etc.) who can vouch for this. Note: The reason I say to get two letters is because there is still a huge stigma around mental illness, and you don't want to reveal that you've got a disorder that's highly stigmatised, only to have it come back and bite you in the ass later. Don't provide details unless it's necessary or asked for. A STUDENT KNOW YOUR RIGHTS AS Most schools and institutions will have a list of a student's rights and responsibilities online. Look them up. Know what your rights are as a student. Also look to see if there are state/national laws protecting you, or if your school is a part of a network of schools that has its own code. Some people working in schools still think mental health issues are trivial, and you never know when they're going to ignore a rule to suit themselves. Make sure you can pick on this if it happens to you. Pretty much all schools will have protection in place for students with mental illnesses and disabilities, so even if you a miss a deadline for a form or make another mistake, they should take your exceptional circumstances into account. This is where a student or disability advisor from school can help you. ottom IF YOU HAVEN'T REACHED CRISIS YET TALK TO A DOCTOR/THERAPIST/COUNSELLOR/TRUSTED ADULT If you're going through a hard time, talk to someone who can help you. Any trusted adult or professional can help you get back on your feet before it's too late, or refer you to someone who can. If it's a new issue, you'll have to see someone like a GP who can refer you to a therapist or mental health service. Talk to them about what's been happening, and say that you need help. Sometimes, even talking about the problem can help you feel better. In these situations, they can also help you figure out what you can do at school to catch up/get special help. FIGURE OUT HOW TO STUDY WHILE IN A BAD STATE Even if you're getting help, it might be some time before you're fully back on track. In these instances, try to make the best of a bad situation. Can't leave the house? Access lecture recordings and eBooks. Ask your friends to send you their notes, or ask the teacher if you can submit your homework via email, or through a friend. Have trouble concentrating? Figure out how long you can study without needing a break, and make a schedule around that. Always make sure to ask your teachers if they can help you with this. Whether it be slightly changing the requirements or conditions of a piece of assessment, or simply their understanding that you may not be able to attend perfectly, it can make a big difference with your overall marks. If they don't know you're struggling, they can't help! DON'T PUSH YOURSELF OR OVERTHINK When you realise there's an issue, it's easy to fall into panic or try to power through. Don't do this. It'll just make you more stressed and aggravate the existing problems, which will make things much worse in the long run. Though it's hard to believe sometimes, your health and mental health are more important than your grades. You can't ignore your mind when it's screaming at you that something is wrong. Listen to it, and be easy on yourself. The best way to get back to your full potential to ask for help and give yourself what you need. Take a break when you need one and practise self-care. It's more important than you might things. RECOVERING FROM A BREAKDOWN ACCEPT THAT YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH SOMETHING MAJOR Once the worst has passed, some people try to brush it off and pretend it never happened. They can feel ashamed or embarrassed about what they went through. However, there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about, especially if you had a pre-existing mental health condition. Every life has ups and downs and just because yours were a bit more serious than some people's, it doesn't mean that you're weak somehow. The best thing you can do for yourself is to recognise what happened, and work to prevent it from happening again by setting up crisis plans and support networks. GET TUTORING TO CATCH UP If you've fallen behind, don't worry. There are plenty of ways to catch yourself up and get back on track. The best way is to hire a tutor. They can guide you through the work, help you understand difficult concepts, and identify the places you need more help. Yes, tutors can be expensive, but there's a way to get around this. See if there is anyone who took your class the year before who might be willing to tutor you for an hour each week for a discounted prince. Similarly, see if there are any students who can help you in exchange for something like instrument lessons. And if any of your friends are academically gifted, I'm sure they'd be able to help. If all else fails, go to office hours and any free tutoring sessions your school or university offers. Do some research, ask around, see what's there. PACE YOURSELF AND DON'T RUSH IN After a breakdown or crisis, you may be tempted to throw yourself back into your work to catch up. Don't! You'll become overwhelmed and end up back at square one. Remember, you've just been through a very difficult situation and you're not going to get better overnight. Ease yourself in. I definitely recommend starting with a reduced or part-time study load if possible. Remember that you may not be back at your full capacity just yet, and difficulties concentrating and being motivated could make things hard. By starting off slowly, you're able to get used to studying again without too much pressure. DEVELOP A ROUTINE Yes, this advice is in every piece of study advice ever, but you shouldn't develop just any routine. Develop one that allows you plenty of breaks and takes into consider any issues you may have with fatigue or focusing. If your breakdown was caused by overwork, make sure this one is easier on you. Things to include you could include in a healthy routine (but don't micromanage!): "I feel crap" time* Breaks and meals Plenty of sleep and rest "You" time (treat yo self) Time to plan for the next week Exercise (have you tried yoga? Kidding) Meditation/mindfulness Friend/family social time * Remember that the thoughts and feelings caused by mental illness are not shameful, and ignoring and forcing them down will only make them worse. If you need to lie in bed feeling miserable, do it. THINGS TO REMEMBER DON'T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS It can be easy to look at other people and see your own flaws, but it's important to try not to. Every person has different experiences and struggles, so it's not fair to yourself to look at someone without yours and think you're behind in some way. Taking longer to complete your studies isn't shameful. Making mistakes isn't shameful. Needing breaks isn't shameful. You'll get where you need to be in the end. Have patience. GRADES DON'T DEFINE YOU I spent so much of my life thinking my only worth came from my academic success. And guess what? This just led to more anxiety and depression. It's important to realise that things like grades, class rankings, GPAS, and "intelligence" aren't that important. Who you are and what you do is far more important than these arbitrary labels. THERE IS A STIGMA, SO BE PREPARED It's an unfortunate reality, but there is still a stigma against mental health issues and there is a chance it might affect your experiences while dealing with administrative staff and teachers. There have been stories about people telling their people supposed to be guiding them that they have mental health issues, and being dismissed because "it's a girl issue" or "it's all in their head". Be prepared in case this happens to you. Remind people that it's a medical condition and that you can get proof from medical professionals if need be. Plus, there is probably something in your school's policies or even the law that protects you when you have a mental illness. Remember that just because people are ignorant, that doesn't mean your issue is not 100% real and important. Don't let these people make you feel worse. YOU CAN DO THIS In our darkest moments, it can be hard to believe that we're capable of immense strength, but I promise you we are. Whatever obstacle is in your path right now - even if it's your brain chemistry - you are going to get through this. You've made it through every worst day you've had so far. You've made it through the dark and scary moments, and you've come out the other end stronger and wiser. Remember that you are strong, and even when you don't feel like it, there is always support available to help you realise that strength again. tmblimteom apricot-studies: smartstudy: Hey guys. I’m glad to be finally posting my “mental breakdown survival guide”. As you know I struggle a lot with mental health, and so I have been through a lot of breakdowns. So many that I actually dropped out of university after 3 weeks in 2016 and had to take the whole year off. Because of this, I’ve made it my mission to help others with mental health issues as much as I can, so you don’t have to go through what I’ve been through. Anyway, here is my guide. I tried to keep it general, and actually useful. If you have any questions or additions please feel free to add them. And as ever, if you want to talk to me about studying with mental illness or want to see a post on a specific topic, please feel free to message me. thank you so much for this
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humansofnewyork: “Nobody would give us a chance.  We were in our early twenties.  We had two young kids.  We were working, but living check to check.  At the time we were staying in the projects with my mother-in-law, but my kids were growing up, so we needed our own place.  But all the rental brokers wanted to see our bank statements.  And we had no savings.  We didn’t even have accounts.  Then one day I was walking down the avenue, and I saw a super fixing up an empty apartment.  I told him I needed to speak to the landlord directly.  No brokers.  And I guess he liked my vibe, because he gave me the name: Ronald Petrowski.  When I called Mr. Petrowski, I explained everything.  I told him we needed a chance.  He agreed to meet me and my husband at Lenny’s Pizzeria.  He bought us a plain pie and listened to our story.  He’d grown up poor himself, so he knew the struggle.  And he gave us a chance.  We’ve been in that apartment for 35 years now, and I’ve paid him every cent.  We’ve fallen on hard times.  At one point I owed him an entire year of rent.  But he was so gracious.  He never sent us an eviction notice.  Every time he came to collect, he’d sit at our kitchen table, have a cup of coffee, and listen to our situation.  Mr. Petrowski is my hero.  He sold the building a couple years ago, but we still keep in touch.  That man gave me a home to raise my children.”: C humansofnewyork: “Nobody would give us a chance.  We were in our early twenties.  We had two young kids.  We were working, but living check to check.  At the time we were staying in the projects with my mother-in-law, but my kids were growing up, so we needed our own place.  But all the rental brokers wanted to see our bank statements.  And we had no savings.  We didn’t even have accounts.  Then one day I was walking down the avenue, and I saw a super fixing up an empty apartment.  I told him I needed to speak to the landlord directly.  No brokers.  And I guess he liked my vibe, because he gave me the name: Ronald Petrowski.  When I called Mr. Petrowski, I explained everything.  I told him we needed a chance.  He agreed to meet me and my husband at Lenny’s Pizzeria.  He bought us a plain pie and listened to our story.  He’d grown up poor himself, so he knew the struggle.  And he gave us a chance.  We’ve been in that apartment for 35 years now, and I’ve paid him every cent.  We’ve fallen on hard times.  At one point I owed him an entire year of rent.  But he was so gracious.  He never sent us an eviction notice.  Every time he came to collect, he’d sit at our kitchen table, have a cup of coffee, and listen to our situation.  Mr. Petrowski is my hero.  He sold the building a couple years ago, but we still keep in touch.  That man gave me a home to raise my children.”

humansofnewyork: “Nobody would give us a chance.  We were in our early twenties.  We had two young kids.  We were working, but living ch...

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