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Church, Fire, and Internet: DISORDERLY Oct. 1 - A group of students playing hide and seek in the Harris Fine Arts Center at 11 p.m. caused a faculty member to call the University Police. The police arrived but were not able to find any of the students. deadmomjokes: owl-librarian: #you just made it a higher stakes game of hide and seek Having gone to this University, and having personally played hide and seek in the Harris Fine Arts Center, I guarantee you that NOBODY finds hiders unless they, too, are familiar with the bowels of the HFAC. Once you get down to the practice-room levels, time stops completely and you could walk up the back stair and end up in 1967. The halls change at least 8 times an hour, there’s no way you’re getting back out the same way you came in. When the lights start going off at 10 the whole bottom 3 floors descend into some subsection of the fey realm. I once hid up on the balcony stage access fire-escape thing of a lower-level theater, and 3 faculty walked by under me and not a one of them noticed the hulking, wheezing asthmatic lurking above them, half dangling off a rickety metal ladder that probably wasn’t supposed to be climbed. A fellow hider friend came and found me, and we sat up there for 30 minutes listening to some distant clicking sound before we realized nobody was actually going to find us. We had no cell service, and no internet to reach anyone. We got lost trying to get back out, and once we resurfaced, everyone else was gone, the building was empty, and we just went home to eat ice cream. Nobody knew where we had disappeared to, and nobody bothered to check if we were there before leaving. For all I know, they just assumed we had been lost to the gaping maw of the HFAC basement and when they saw us at church on Sunday it was probably like they’d seen a ghost. None of us ever mentioned it again. Basically what I’m saying is Campus Police had no hope of finding them in the first place and probably lost an officer or two if they actually conducted a real search, because nobody except Senior art majors or veteran custodians actually knows how to navigate that building and make it out in the same dimension they entered from. Not at 11pm anyway.

deadmomjokes: owl-librarian: #you just made it a higher stakes game of hide and seek Having gone to this University, and having personally p...

Alive, America, and Beautiful: Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Trump rallies and then asked it to write a Trump rally of its own. Here is the first page TRUMP RALLY INT. BIG ARBY 'S IN SOUTH WYOMKLAHOMA PRESIDENT TRUMP forces himself on a podium PRESIDENT TRUMP I just had a phone call with the economy. Jobs poured out of the phone. Great jobs. Tall jobs. steve Jobs. All at Kinko's The crowd cheers. It is full of real Americans (man with hard hat, man with harder hat, gun that is alive) PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D) The United Snakes is doing so good. other countries are on fire. All the people on fire. Hot fire too. Not us. Our flag is so beautiful. President Trump salutes a flag that says: ARBY'S FOOD IS FINE TO EAT. The crowd howls. They love this flag of America. PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D) I signed a bill. No more swamp. Swamp gone. Swamp is in Mexico now. It's on fire. Great deal for us The crowd chants: FOUR MORE SWAMPS! FOUR MORE SWAMPS! PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT D) Foreign powers cheat us Canada steals our milk. China steals our milk. We only had one glass of milk left! Obama drank it. Not fair The crowd b s. They wanted that milk PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D) But like President Ronald Rogaine, I will bring back the milk! The crowd roars. They still want that milk PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D) A wall of milk. No criminals get through. Democrats want criminals to have the milk. No way. Milk comes from coal. We'll dig it up. All of the words are mispronounced. The crowd cheers. They hate pronunciations. They love milk. They start digging ARBY’S FOOD IS FINE TO EAT by adamhasabeard MORE MEMES