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bluemantle: Recently my grandmother found out I’m queer. Her response was to tell me that she disapproves of me living with my “friend” (i.e. my girlfriend) and that I should give up my vile queer ways and become a Christian (Lol). She even sent me a bible.  Here are its remains, which I made into black-out poetry. Poem 1: Bisexual (from Leviticus 19:9)– “Have sexual relations with her.  Have sexual relations with him.  Have sexual relations with both a woman and a man.  Have sexual relations with yourself. Vomit on everyone who does not respect you.” Poem 2: Fisting (from Judges 8:5)– “water/ lap the water/ drink/go down to drink/your hands/go down/I give into your hands/go down/encouraged/down/on the seashore/the whole hand/your hand/inside/I get to the edge/and shout/grasping/crying out/Beth/Beth/Beth/Beth/Beth/God/I came” Poem 3: A Letter to the Exiles (from Jeremiah 28:13) – “Ze said: ‘Do not let lies name you, nor harm your heart. Gather. Raise the sword against them. They scorn and reproach, for they have not listened– again and again have not listened.’ ” Poem 4: Child (from Ezekiel 16:22) – “Your father and your mother rubbed salt in. No one looked on you with pity or had compassion enough for you, for on the day you were born you were despised. Live! Grow.  I looked at you and saw you were enough.” Poem 5: Father (from Ezekiel 16:22) – “You never adored us. You became very angry. You took some out on us. Your sons and daughters were not enough? You slaughtered– in all your detestable practices– our youth.” Poem 6: Misandry (from Acts 27:41) – “Dangerous men should be broken.” : LEVITICUS 19:9 107 man have sexual telations with yoursell have sexual relations with her. vomit on 29"'Everyone who does respect ave sexual relations with both a woman and JUDGES 8:5 223 ater er rink Grasping go down your hands crying out go down give into your go down ands. down on the seashore your hand the inection you ridiculedt Go o inside Abimeles to the entrance of killed as they fle in Arumah, s and his clan out of Sh ext day the people the fields, and this v 3So he took his r three companies a the fields. When he I get to the edge an 714 JEREMIAH 28:13 Do not let name you or harm your heart. gath- er A Letter to the Exiles raise the sword, against them said:they scorn and reproach, not listened and again For they have again have not listened you ver . You became very 1You took your father an rubbed salt in No one looked on you with pity or had compassion er for on the day you were born you were despised your sons and daughters not enoughYou slaughtered I looked enough at you and saw that you were ACTS 27:41 1021 should en bluemantle: Recently my grandmother found out I’m queer. Her response was to tell me that she disapproves of me living with my “friend” (i.e. my girlfriend) and that I should give up my vile queer ways and become a Christian (Lol). She even sent me a bible.  Here are its remains, which I made into black-out poetry. Poem 1: Bisexual (from Leviticus 19:9)– “Have sexual relations with her.  Have sexual relations with him.  Have sexual relations with both a woman and a man.  Have sexual relations with yourself. Vomit on everyone who does not respect you.” Poem 2: Fisting (from Judges 8:5)– “water/ lap the water/ drink/go down to drink/your hands/go down/I give into your hands/go down/encouraged/down/on the seashore/the whole hand/your hand/inside/I get to the edge/and shout/grasping/crying out/Beth/Beth/Beth/Beth/Beth/God/I came” Poem 3: A Letter to the Exiles (from Jeremiah 28:13) – “Ze said: ‘Do not let lies name you, nor harm your heart. Gather. Raise the sword against them. They scorn and reproach, for they have not listened– again and again have not listened.’ ” Poem 4: Child (from Ezekiel 16:22) – “Your father and your mother rubbed salt in. No one looked on you with pity or had compassion enough for you, for on the day you were born you were despised. Live! Grow.  I looked at you and saw you were enough.” Poem 5: Father (from Ezekiel 16:22) – “You never adored us. You became very angry. You took some out on us. Your sons and daughters were not enough? You slaughtered– in all your detestable practices– our youth.” Poem 6: Misandry (from Acts 27:41) – “Dangerous men should be broken.”
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16 Pro Tips To Improve Your Sex Life: best handjob tip mouth, The best blow job tip is bo use Do not remove anal beads like you're starting a lawn mower Have your own dedicated browser for porn. Irszead of using Chrome's incognto mode, just install an open source browser Ike a version of Firefx. You can hide the con shortcut in your somewhere private. And bookmark all the porn you want. who needs history documents foider Always have dedicated love cleanup towels Never oum in a jacuzzi unless you want to be covered in a thin spiderweb like amalgamation of your own jizz. Womens' magazines constantly suggest things you should put ni your mouth to spice up' oral. Hot water. Cold water. Mints. Fizzy Do not, one night, think to yourself, whiskey! Always masturbate before responding to your ex's text and see how you feel about it with a clear, non-hony mind If the gerbil gets stuck they can be lured out with fresh fruit female orgasm doesn't work like the male Don't speed up if she is coming. Youre doing something right, don't stop doing exactly that When youre giving a blow job, look up at them. Guys seem to like it. LICK THEM LICK THEM You're not done licking until she pushes you off Remove your diver's watch before fisting. If you're gonna put it up your bum, it should have a flared base to stop it going all the way in. Don't use random stuff and end up at the hospital explaining how you just fell. 1 leaned this from another thread 2 week ago, and ah my GAHD Okay, felow men. When youre masturbating and reshing climax, slow down, nd clench uitcheeseet and you will shoot like 20 feet and Use Bing instead of Google for porn. Annoyed with the crappy porn lore? Just turn the music off and listen to a random tennis match. Moaning and cheers are included. For gods sake guys, if you think there's even a chance of hooking up, perfornm meticulous personal hygiene and for the love of at that's holy, wash under your 16 Pro Tips To Improve Your Sex Life
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Dear Medical Establishment, My name is smash, and u got me all the way fucked up. 📍 <- that right there? That's the location of where u, the medical cot damn establishment, got me all the way completely and without any doubt fucked the fuck up. Lemme splain u. I go in to get tested. Nurse hand me the results. I'm nervous. Should I be nervous? Of course I should be nervous - everybody sexually active should be nervous bc people be lion 🦁. And in this state of nervousness, y'all hand me some shit where it say <0.90. That's my result. Carrot, decimal. It used to say "non reactive". Now y'all give me equations. Y'all don't just say "u got the Ursher disease" or "u could live to smash another day". Nah. Y'all wanna give me motherfucking code words. Then I gotta flip the page and find that <0.90 mean negative. Then I gotta google it, come to find out that the Hurp level gotta be 1.1 or above or else I'm negative. Well was I close? Was it 0.1? Or was it 0.6 where I got a teensie weensie amount of Hurp? This pass-fail shit? Fuck y'all 😂. (Editor's note: 0.6 would not be middle ground anyway. You have to be in the 0.9-1.1 range to be questionable TheMoreYouKnow.) In any event. Lemme get this shit straight. I come in to get tested and y'all gon put me back in middle school algebra. YALL 👏 GOT 👏 A 👏 BROTHER 👏 DOUBLE 👏 FUCKED 👏 UP 👏 WITH 👏 CHEESE 👏. I wanna open a envelope. It should have no math equations on it. It should have no charts and graphs. IDGAF about your disclaimers. It should be one sheet of white paper. In the middle it should say "DD" (drippy dick) or "NDD" (non drippy dick). THAT'S ALL I WANT FROM YALL. OTHER THAN THAT, SHUT ALL THE WAY UP 😂. Best regards, smash. P.s. I love it when I go get tested and make a fist and u nurses start telling me "ooooh u got nice veins 😍". Happens every time and y'all adorable for that. In fact it's a set-up for an amazing p0rno that I'll never shoot but if any of my followers are in Hollywood y'all should run with that and lemme do a cameo with a mask on (HECK IT MASK OFF) bless up 😂😂😂 (pic: @alondraxaz): They ripped open their bed and Dear Medical Establishment, My name is smash, and u got me all the way fucked up. 📍 <- that right there? That's the location of where u, the medical cot damn establishment, got me all the way completely and without any doubt fucked the fuck up. Lemme splain u. I go in to get tested. Nurse hand me the results. I'm nervous. Should I be nervous? Of course I should be nervous - everybody sexually active should be nervous bc people be lion 🦁. And in this state of nervousness, y'all hand me some shit where it say <0.90. That's my result. Carrot, decimal. It used to say "non reactive". Now y'all give me equations. Y'all don't just say "u got the Ursher disease" or "u could live to smash another day". Nah. Y'all wanna give me motherfucking code words. Then I gotta flip the page and find that <0.90 mean negative. Then I gotta google it, come to find out that the Hurp level gotta be 1.1 or above or else I'm negative. Well was I close? Was it 0.1? Or was it 0.6 where I got a teensie weensie amount of Hurp? This pass-fail shit? Fuck y'all 😂. (Editor's note: 0.6 would not be middle ground anyway. You have to be in the 0.9-1.1 range to be questionable TheMoreYouKnow.) In any event. Lemme get this shit straight. I come in to get tested and y'all gon put me back in middle school algebra. YALL 👏 GOT 👏 A 👏 BROTHER 👏 DOUBLE 👏 FUCKED 👏 UP 👏 WITH 👏 CHEESE 👏. I wanna open a envelope. It should have no math equations on it. It should have no charts and graphs. IDGAF about your disclaimers. It should be one sheet of white paper. In the middle it should say "DD" (drippy dick) or "NDD" (non drippy dick). THAT'S ALL I WANT FROM YALL. OTHER THAN THAT, SHUT ALL THE WAY UP 😂. Best regards, smash. P.s. I love it when I go get tested and make a fist and u nurses start telling me "ooooh u got nice veins 😍". Happens every time and y'all adorable for that. In fact it's a set-up for an amazing p0rno that I'll never shoot but if any of my followers are in Hollywood y'all should run with that and lemme do a cameo with a mask on (HECK IT MASK OFF) bless up 😂😂😂 (pic: @alondraxaz)
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