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Bad, Books, and Clothes: he Swiss are voting on a plan to end poverty forever. Step one: give every adult $33,600 a year, no strings attached. There is no step two. Photo: Flickr/twicepix tank-grrl: hello-missmayhem: cptprocrastination: doomhamster: belcanta: nikkidubs: attentiondeficitaptitude: belcanta: Guaranteed basic income to every citizen, whether or not they are employed to ensure their survival and that they live in a dignified, humane way, preventing poverty, illness, homelessness, reducing crime, encouraging higher education and learning vocations as well as helping society become more prosperous as a whole.  Wow. Forget raising the minimum wage. This is much much better idea. The minimum wage could actually drop if we had basic income. But Americans would never go for it. Miserably slogging through 12 hour days and having businesses open 24/7 is too engrained in our culture. “BUT WHERE WILL THE GOVERNMENT GET THE MONEY?” screamed Joe Schmoe, slamming a meaty fist onto the table and getting mouth-froth all over the front of his greying tank top. “You libt*rds all think money grows on TREES!! HAHA!”“But where will people get the incentive to work?!” Mindy Bindy cried, flapping her hands in front of her face. She’d had a fear of the unemployed lollygagging about ever since she was a child and her mother told her to be afraid of the unemployed lollygagging about. “You think people should get paid for nothing? I work hard for my money!” “But who will serve me?” grumbled Marty McMoneybags. “Who will make me feel important? Who will do my laundry and cook my food and stand in front of me wearing a plastic smile while I take out all my stress—because I do have a lot of stress, you know, being this rich is stressful—on them?” He paused and straightened out the piles of hundred dollar bills on the desk in front of him, then raised his two watery, outraged eyes up to the Heavens. “Lord, if there are no poor people, how will I know that I’m rich??” I laughed. This is perfect! Well said! The thing is, while I’m sure you could scrape up a few people who’d be willing to just float by on a guaranteed minimum income? For most people the choice to work would be a no-brainer. “Hmmm. I can get by on 33k a year, or I can take that part time job and make 48k… enough to move to a better apartment, maybe take the family on vacation. Sold.” Hell, most people would want to work simply because it gives one a sense of dignity and something to do with one’s time. (Speaking as someone who’s been unemployed, on extended sick leave, etc. in her time, the boredom and sense of isolation that comes with not having a job is almost as bad as the humiliation of having to depend on other people for one’s survival.) And with this system, part-time jobs and “non-skilled” jobs would be much more readily available because nobody would need to work two or three jobs just to stay afloat! Which would ALSO mean that employers and customers couldn’t shamelessly exploit employees the way they can today, because if losing a job weren’t necessarily a financial disaster, more people would be willing to walk out on jobs where they weren’t being treated with dignity. And if this also applies to students (and it should) then student loans would become much less of a problem, and fewer people would flunk out of school because of having to juggle studies and work. Far fewer people would be forced to stay with abusive partners, parents or roommates because they couldn’t afford to move out. And the thing is, all those people who suddenly had money? They’d be spending it. They’d be getting all the stuff they can’t afford now - new clothes, books, toys, locally-produced food, car repairs - and with each purchase money would flow BACK to the government, because VAT, also income tax. The unemployed and/or disabled wouldn’t need special support any more - which would also mean the government could fire however many admins who are currently engaged in humiliating - *cough* making sure those people aren’t getting money they don’t deserve. Same for medical benefits and pensions. And I’m no legal scholar, but I somehow imagine less financial desperation would lead to less petty crime, and hence less need for police and security everywhere? TL;DR Doomie thinks this is a good idea, laughs at those who protest. reblogging for more top commentary They tried something like this out in Canada as a sort of social experiment, called Mincome. What they found was that, on the whole, people continued to work about as much as they did before. Only new mothers and teenagers worked substantially less hours.  But wait, there’s more. Because parents were spending just a little more time at home and involved with their families, test scores increased. Because teens didn’t have to work to support their families, drop-out rates decreased. Crime rates, hospital visits, psychiatric hospitalizations and domestic abuse rates all dropped, as well. More adults pursued higher education. Those who continued to work reported more job flexibility and more opportunity to choose employment they preferred. Basically, now you can go prove to your asshole family members that society won’t collapse without poor people for you to feel better than. The picture is awesome, but read the commentary, that’s what I’m reblogging for.
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America, Bad, and Books: he Swiss are voting on a plan to end poverty forever. Step one: give every adult $33,600 a year, no strings attached. There is no step two. Photo: Flickr/twicepix lazorsandparadox: tank-grrl: hello-missmayhem: cptprocrastination: doomhamster: belcanta: nikkidubs: attentiondeficitaptitude: belcanta: Guaranteed basic income to every citizen, whether or not they are employed to ensure their survival and that they live in a dignified, humane way, preventing poverty, illness, homelessness, reducing crime, encouraging higher education and learning vocations as well as helping society become more prosperous as a whole.  Wow. Forget raising the minimum wage. This is much much better idea. The minimum wage could actually drop if we had basic income. But Americans would never go for it. Miserably slogging through 12 hour days and having businesses open 24/7 is too engrained in our culture. “BUT WHERE WILL THE GOVERNMENT GET THE MONEY?” screamed Joe Schmoe, slamming a meaty fist onto the table and getting mouth-froth all over the front of his greying tank top. “You libt*rds all think money grows on TREES!! HAHA!”“But where will people get the incentive to work?!” Mindy Bindy cried, flapping her hands in front of her face. She’d had a fear of the unemployed lollygagging about ever since she was a child and her mother told her to be afraid of the unemployed lollygagging about. “You think people should get paid for nothing? I work hard for my money!” “But who will serve me?” grumbled Marty McMoneybags. “Who will make me feel important? Who will do my laundry and cook my food and stand in front of me wearing a plastic smile while I take out all my stress—because I do have a lot of stress, you know, being this rich is stressful—on them?” He paused and straightened out the piles of hundred dollar bills on the desk in front of him, then raised his two watery, outraged eyes up to the Heavens. “Lord, if there are no poor people, how will I know that I’m rich??” I laughed. This is perfect! Well said! The thing is, while I’m sure you could scrape up a few people who’d be willing to just float by on a guaranteed minimum income? For most people the choice to work would be a no-brainer. “Hmmm. I can get by on 33k a year, or I can take that part time job and make 48k… enough to move to a better apartment, maybe take the family on vacation. Sold.” Hell, most people would want to work simply because it gives one a sense of dignity and something to do with one’s time. (Speaking as someone who’s been unemployed, on extended sick leave, etc. in her time, the boredom and sense of isolation that comes with not having a job is almost as bad as the humiliation of having to depend on other people for one’s survival.) And with this system, part-time jobs and “non-skilled” jobs would be much more readily available because nobody would need to work two or three jobs just to stay afloat! Which would ALSO mean that employers and customers couldn’t shamelessly exploit employees the way they can today, because if losing a job weren’t necessarily a financial disaster, more people would be willing to walk out on jobs where they weren’t being treated with dignity. And if this also applies to students (and it should) then student loans would become much less of a problem, and fewer people would flunk out of school because of having to juggle studies and work. Far fewer people would be forced to stay with abusive partners, parents or roommates because they couldn’t afford to move out. And the thing is, all those people who suddenly had money? They’d be spending it. They’d be getting all the stuff they can’t afford now - new clothes, books, toys, locally-produced food, car repairs - and with each purchase money would flow BACK to the government, because VAT, also income tax. The unemployed and/or disabled wouldn’t need special support any more - which would also mean the government could fire however many admins who are currently engaged in humiliating - *cough* making sure those people aren’t getting money they don’t deserve. Same for medical benefits and pensions. And I’m no legal scholar, but I somehow imagine less financial desperation would lead to less petty crime, and hence less need for police and security everywhere? TL;DR Doomie thinks this is a good idea, laughs at those who protest. reblogging for more top commentary They tried something like this out in Canada as a sort of social experiment, called Mincome. What they found was that, on the whole, people continued to work about as much as they did before. Only new mothers and teenagers worked substantially less hours.  But wait, there’s more. Because parents were spending just a little more time at home and involved with their families, test scores increased. Because teens didn’t have to work to support their families, drop-out rates decreased. Crime rates, hospital visits, psychiatric hospitalizations and domestic abuse rates all dropped, as well. More adults pursued higher education. Those who continued to work reported more job flexibility and more opportunity to choose employment they preferred. Basically, now you can go prove to your asshole family members that society won’t collapse without poor people for you to feel better than. The picture is awesome, but read the commentary, that’s what I’m reblogging for. With debt levels spiraling out of control as they are, america might have to do this in the near future, in order to prevent economic collapse from people just not having money to spend. The only problem i forsee with this is that, in order to get the money to distribute, taxes on rich people would have to increase by a lot, and if taxes raise too high, they just fucking move to another country to avoid paying them. If there was a way to prevent this, or if the whole world implemented a standard like this at the same time thereby removing the incentive to flee tax hikes, then this would absolutely work out great
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Apple, Beard, and Beautiful: 62,681 do all Americans have pet eagles? Yes I remember my first eagle ceremony when I turned nine. The first eagle you get is always declawed, which I always thought was pretty inhumane, but it was a good way to ease into caring for the birds. My eagle (named Baldy, because I wasnt a terribly clever child) was already quite old when I received him (he was a rescue eagle, luckily) but I did have him until I was 16. I don't know if I was more excited about getting my drivers license that year or my new eagle! You should have seen the party we had when I got him, too! Grilled hot dogs and fire works and lemonade... obviously I named my beautiful new eagle Freedom. He's too big to keep inside anymore, unfortunatey but we've got a pretty comfortable roost for him on our apartment's balcony Ah, yes, the eagle ceremony! My Justice and I remember his quite well. (They had just come out with telepathic link transplants when I got him, which is how I know he remembers it.) Our celebration was quite modest, compared to Freedom's-apple pie under a cloudless summer sky as we signed our Declaration of Interdependence. I still have the inked and talon-plerced document hanging on my wall. what is this Get out Canada I was so scared during my pet eagle ceremony I almost threw up. But Stonewall Jackson and I have been best friends ever since. My dad and grandfather built a really massive roost behind the house for my eagle and my sisters' eagles. Stonewall always waits for me when I get home from class since schools are getting so over protective and strict these days and won't allow eagles indoors. Which just goes to show how much we're bubble wrapping kids today. Back in the day, if you couldn't handle a few stitches because you pissed off the wrong kid's eagle you had to just man up and learn your lesson! Ooo, I never miss a chance to tell this story! I had a rather unusual first eagle ceremony. The traditional giant American flag that you wave around to summon your eagle had been severely damaged the week prior (a ceremony that had not gone according to plan, but the child only suffered minor talon wounds. The flag took the brunt of the attack). Anyway, I couldn't use the normal flag so we had to search ALL OVER for one suitable for eagle summoning. Unfortunately the stripes weren't the correct shade of patriotic red so everyone was worried an eagle wouldn't show up at all. I had to stand in the middle of that wheat field, the wind creating amber waves out of it, shaking that flag in the air for over three hours. Everyone was just about to give up when suddenly Patriot appeared out of nowhere! He came to me so quickly it was like he was apologizing for being late. And we've been together ever since. Some people think it's excessive to have two eagles. But what can I say, I'm a two eagles kind of guy. Well, I can say, "You must be a terrorist to call me out over my excesses," but I digress. We don't have many open fields around here, so I got Liberty by waving my flag atop a decommissioned WWll aircraft carrier. I was kicking a couple of boxes of tea into the harbor for good measure, and there she was. I loved her so much I repeated the process a year later and got young Colbert here. It's hard work, raising two eagles, but I have two shoulders, after all. Besides, I know that the secret to happy and healthy eagles is plenty of Bud Light. Oh man, the eagle ceremony. I was a weird fucking kid, okay, so l was totally sure that the eagle ceremony wasn't just going to net me my eagle and deepen the mystical bond between a citizen and their country, I thought I was going to get to turn into an eagle too. So me and my mom and my dad and my little brother are all standing in the old civil war battleground, surrounded by the ghosts of our fallen soldiers, and all and the problem here- it's not usually a problem because I make sure to shave my beard off twice a day, three times on sundays- was that I am, actually, born on the fourth of July. So it wasn't just one eagle that showed up, it was pretty much every big old patriotic warbird in Missouri, all flapping around confused and pissed off, their innate senses of direction completely fucked up by the way firecracker babies warp America's natural system of ley lines. And I was six, so grabbed the flag and ran with it over my shoulders, rippling in the wind, thinking it was going to turn into wings for me and I would go be an eagle with all the other eagles. Instead I just got mobbed by a freaked-out mess of nationalistic avians who all weighed more than I did. I lost half my nose and my whole left arm and spent most of fourth grade in reconstructive surgery getting machine guns welded on to the shattered remains of my ulna. Completely missed my little brother's eagle ceremony, which I wil always regret, but it was all worth it to have met Columbia. I never did turn into an eagle on the outside, but I like to think those long hours in the hospital, feeding her rubbing alcohol and my own blood, have made me an eagle in my heart. you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com srsfunny: Do All Americans Really Have Pet Eagles?
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Bad, Books, and Clothes: he Swiss are voting on a plan to end poverty forever. Step one: give every adult $33,600 a year, no strings attached. There is no step two. Photo: Flickr/twicepix <p><a href="http://suchdreadfullittlethingsweare.tumblr.com/post/174001978257/heroofthreefaces-havocados" class="tumblr_blog">suchdreadfullittlethingsweare</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://heroofthreefaces.tumblr.com/post/168128252579/havocados-hello-missmayhem" class="tumblr_blog">heroofthreefaces</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://havocados.tumblr.com/post/100527461143/hello-missmayhem-cptprocrastination">havocados</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://hello-missmayhem.tumblr.com/post/88630087898/cptprocrastination-doomhamster-belcanta">hello-missmayhem</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://cptprocrastination.tumblr.com/post/85831300665/doomhamster-belcanta-nikkidubs">cptprocrastination</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://doomhamster.tumblr.com/post/85830788180/belcanta-nikkidubs">doomhamster</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://belcanta.tumblr.com/post/85819962386/nikkidubs-attentiondeficitaptitude">belcanta</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://nikkidubs.tumblr.com/post/85819329546/attentiondeficitaptitude-belcanta-guaranteed">nikkidubs</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://attentiondeficitaptitude.tumblr.com/post/85814008162/belcanta-guaranteed-basic-income-to-every">attentiondeficitaptitude</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://belcanta.tumblr.com/post/84650253321/guaranteed-basic-income-to-every-citizen-whether">belcanta</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Guaranteed basic income to every citizen, whether or not they are employed to ensure their survival and that they live in a dignified, humane way, preventing poverty, illness, homelessness, reducing crime, encouraging higher education and learning vocations as well as helping society become more prosperous as a whole. </p> </blockquote> <p>Wow. Forget raising the minimum wage. This is much much better idea.</p> <p>The minimum wage could actually drop if we had basic income.</p> <p>But Americans would never go for it. Miserably slogging through 12 hour days and having businesses open 24/7 is too engrained in our culture.</p> </blockquote> <p>“BUT WHERE WILL THE GOVERNMENT GET THE MONEY?” screamed Joe Schmoe, slamming a meaty fist onto the table and getting mouth-froth all over the front of his greying tank top. “You libt*rds all think money grows on TREES!! HAHA!”<br/><br/>“But where will people get the incentive to work?!” Mindy Bindy cried, flapping her hands in front of her face. She’d had a fear of the unemployed lollygagging about ever since she was a child and her mother told her to be afraid of the unemployed lollygagging about. “You think people should get paid for <em>nothing</em>? I work <em>hard</em> for my money!”</p> <p>“But who will serve me?” grumbled Marty McMoneybags. “Who will make me feel important? Who will do my laundry and cook my food and stand in front of me wearing a plastic smile while I take out all my stress—because I <em>do </em>have a lot of stress, you know, being this rich is <em>stressful</em>—on them?” He paused and straightened out the piles of hundred dollar bills on the desk in front of him, then raised his two watery, outraged eyes up to the Heavens. “Lord, if there are no poor people, how will I know that I’m <em>rich</em>??”</p> </blockquote> <p>I laughed. This is perfect! Well said!</p> </blockquote> <p>The thing is, while I’m sure you could scrape up a few people who’d be willing to just float by on a guaranteed minimum income? For most people the choice to work would be a no-brainer. “Hmmm. I can get by on 33k a year, or I can take that part time job and make 48k… enough to move to a better apartment, maybe take the family on vacation. Sold.” Hell, most people would want to work simply because it gives one a sense of dignity and something to do with one’s time. (Speaking as someone who’s been unemployed, on extended sick leave, etc. in her time, the boredom and sense of isolation that comes with not having a job is almost as bad as the humiliation of having to depend on other people for one’s survival.)</p> <p>And with this system, part-time jobs and “non-skilled” jobs would be much more readily available because nobody would need to work two or three jobs just to stay afloat!</p> <p>Which would ALSO mean that employers and customers couldn’t shamelessly exploit employees the way they can today, because if losing a job weren’t necessarily a financial disaster, more people would be willing to walk out on jobs where they weren’t being treated with dignity.</p> <p>And if this also applies to students (and it should) then student loans would become much less of a problem, and fewer people would flunk out of school because of having to juggle studies and work.</p> <p>Far fewer people would be forced to stay with abusive partners, parents or roommates because they couldn’t afford to move out.</p> <p>And the thing is, all those people who suddenly had money? They’d be spending it. They’d be getting all the stuff they can’t afford now - new clothes, books, toys, locally-produced food, car repairs - and with each purchase money would flow BACK to the government, because VAT, also income tax.</p> <p>The unemployed and/or disabled wouldn’t need special support any more - which would also mean the government could fire however many admins who are currently engaged in humiliating - *cough* making sure those people aren’t getting money they don’t deserve. Same for medical benefits and pensions. And I’m no legal scholar, but I somehow imagine less financial desperation would lead to less petty crime, and hence less need for police and security everywhere?</p> <p>TL;DR Doomie thinks this is a good idea, laughs at those who protest.</p> </blockquote> <p>reblogging for more top commentary</p> </blockquote> <p><strong>They tried something like this out in Canada as a sort of social experiment, called Mincome. What they found was that, on the whole, people continued to work about as much as they did before. Only new mothers and teenagers worked substantially less hours. </strong></p> <p><strong>But wait, there’s more. Because parents were spending just a little more time at home and involved with their families, test scores increased. Because teens didn’t have to work to support their families, drop-out rates decreased. Crime rates, hospital visits, psychiatric hospitalizations and domestic abuse rates all dropped, as well. More adults pursued higher education. Those who continued to work reported more job flexibility and more opportunity to choose employment they preferred.</strong></p> <p><strong>Basically, now you can go prove to your asshole family members that society won’t collapse without poor people for you to feel better than.</strong></p> </blockquote> <p>*muffled sound of conservatives imploding in the distance*</p> </blockquote> <p style=""> I’ve reblogged this every time it’s come around but I’ve never seen the results of the Swiss election that the graphic reports. A quick websearch reveals June 2016 articles from the NYT and the WSJ reporting it was voted down. <a href="http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.businessinsider.com%2Fhawaii-basic-income-bill-2017-6&amp;t=Njc3OTYxZmVhNTQ4Yjg1ZTFkYTEyYjRhNjE2NTVhNWYzNmNlZjAwOSxSNWk1cWlUOA%3D%3D&amp;b=t%3AUluXTA_SgrDo0CFfULkSYw&amp;p=http%3A%2F%2Fheroofthreefaces.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F163634437213%2Ftank-grrl-hello-missmayhem&amp;m=0">But about a year later Hawaii voted it in</a>. <br/></p> </blockquote> <p>@nikkidubs I love how you make fun of those valid questions while not answering them. </p><p>If someone would like to tell me where the government will be getting <b>$10,979,362,732,800 a YEAR</b> to just hand out to people that’ll be great. </p><p>($33,600 x 326,766,748 people living in the US in 2018 = $10,979,362,732,800)</p><p>I like getting money for doing absolutely nothing too, but money has to come from somewhere or it’s worthless. </p></blockquote> <p>“Just give everybody free money and it’ll all work out!”</p>
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Bad, Books, and Clothes: he Swiss are voting on a plan to end poverty forever. Step one: give every adult $33,600 a year, no strings attached. There is no step two. Photo: Flickr/twicepix havocados: hello-missmayhem: cptprocrastination: doomhamster: belcanta: nikkidubs: attentiondeficitaptitude: belcanta: Guaranteed basic income to every citizen, whether or not they are employed to ensure their survival and that they live in a dignified, humane way, preventing poverty, illness, homelessness, reducing crime, encouraging higher education and learning vocations as well as helping society become more prosperous as a whole.  Wow. Forget raising the minimum wage. This is much much better idea. The minimum wage could actually drop if we had basic income. But Americans would never go for it. Miserably slogging through 12 hour days and having businesses open 24/7 is too engrained in our culture. “BUT WHERE WILL THE GOVERNMENT GET THE MONEY?” screamed Joe Schmoe, slamming a meaty fist onto the table and getting mouth-froth all over the front of his greying tank top. “You libt*rds all think money grows on TREES!! HAHA!”“But where will people get the incentive to work?!” Mindy Bindy cried, flapping her hands in front of her face. She’d had a fear of the unemployed lollygagging about ever since she was a child and her mother told her to be afraid of the unemployed lollygagging about. “You think people should get paid for nothing? I work hard for my money!” “But who will serve me?” grumbled Marty McMoneybags. “Who will make me feel important? Who will do my laundry and cook my food and stand in front of me wearing a plastic smile while I take out all my stress—because I do have a lot of stress, you know, being this rich is stressful—on them?” He paused and straightened out the piles of hundred dollar bills on the desk in front of him, then raised his two watery, outraged eyes up to the Heavens. “Lord, if there are no poor people, how will I know that I’m rich??” I laughed. This is perfect! Well said! The thing is, while I’m sure you could scrape up a few people who’d be willing to just float by on a guaranteed minimum income? For most people the choice to work would be a no-brainer. “Hmmm. I can get by on 33k a year, or I can take that part time job and make 48k… enough to move to a better apartment, maybe take the family on vacation. Sold.” Hell, most people would want to work simply because it gives one a sense of dignity and something to do with one’s time. (Speaking as someone who’s been unemployed, on extended sick leave, etc. in her time, the boredom and sense of isolation that comes with not having a job is almost as bad as the humiliation of having to depend on other people for one’s survival.) And with this system, part-time jobs and “non-skilled” jobs would be much more readily available because nobody would need to work two or three jobs just to stay afloat! Which would ALSO mean that employers and customers couldn’t shamelessly exploit employees the way they can today, because if losing a job weren’t necessarily a financial disaster, more people would be willing to walk out on jobs where they weren’t being treated with dignity. And if this also applies to students (and it should) then student loans would become much less of a problem, and fewer people would flunk out of school because of having to juggle studies and work. Far fewer people would be forced to stay with abusive partners, parents or roommates because they couldn’t afford to move out. And the thing is, all those people who suddenly had money? They’d be spending it. They’d be getting all the stuff they can’t afford now - new clothes, books, toys, locally-produced food, car repairs - and with each purchase money would flow BACK to the government, because VAT, also income tax. The unemployed and/or disabled wouldn’t need special support any more - which would also mean the government could fire however many admins who are currently engaged in humiliating - *cough* making sure those people aren’t getting money they don’t deserve. Same for medical benefits and pensions. And I’m no legal scholar, but I somehow imagine less financial desperation would lead to less petty crime, and hence less need for police and security everywhere? TL;DR Doomie thinks this is a good idea, laughs at those who protest. reblogging for more top commentary They tried something like this out in Canada as a sort of social experiment, called Mincome. What they found was that, on the whole, people continued to work about as much as they did before. Only new mothers and teenagers worked substantially less hours.  But wait, there’s more. Because parents were spending just a little more time at home and involved with their families, test scores increased. Because teens didn’t have to work to support their families, drop-out rates decreased. Crime rates, hospital visits, psychiatric hospitalizations and domestic abuse rates all dropped, as well. More adults pursued higher education. Those who continued to work reported more job flexibility and more opportunity to choose employment they preferred. Basically, now you can go prove to your asshole family members that society won’t collapse without poor people for you to feel better than. *muffled sound of conservatives imploding in the distance*
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Bad, Club, and Crying: 1.The entry point is lower down thant expected those things should 2l thought I had ripped her open and had my hand in her intestines. T hada basic idea of what a vagina looked like from sex ed in the eventh grede whenl touched my first one in freshmanyear, it wes ecereszing. The texture, dampness, and heat made me freakout because I thought I had ripped her open and had my hand in her intestines I ws reaching ino her jeans to finger her, so ddnt see what was going on. But yeah, freaked me out a bit. 3. was like my finger fellinto a perfectly warm fluffy dollop of My surprise has been ever since and it amazes me to this day First time inat third base, we were young, super turned-on and both fairly virginaLI have never since that day felt any lady bits that were that saft end moist. It was like my finger felinto a perfectly warm flufly dolop at whipped cream. Ah, to be 14 again Thoroughly amazing that now, 26 years and heaps of experience later it is one of my most vivid semual memories. On that note, scuse me I gotta go presented with Looked Ike a busted leather sofa, stuffed with bacon 5, it was like working back at the fish farm spawn tanks all over Thankfully lstıll had a ber of licorice soap Seriousy, it gets vagoo off 6 MOI ST " . It was, hot day,绅魂felt like Singapore in there. .That the term "being wet is so inaccurate. Simy would be more legs, like a man's bals Like she was carryinga purse round down 2. That she didn't have a dick was my cousin, we were tiny. I'd not seen a girl naked before, I figured everyone had one. Kinda freaked out. It got worse, though In the couple months afterwards Isaw 2 other girls naked. By this point I was starting to notice a pattern I've seen 4 people naked, and rm the only one with this floppy stuff in front of my legs. Clearly I must have a defect. Sal went crying ta my grandpa about how I needed to see a doctor to get rld of 1O. How wet vaginas could get, like I thought it was just mostly interior lubricant but turre out girls can just get soeking wet.. 11. How fast the female vagina can get from zero to wet 12. Some women Le, the first one I was with, produce quite a bit of wetness, and it can get thick and white and gunky (which is no big 14. That even though most women dont look ike Penthouse or Hustler models, the typical vegina is just as gorgeous end mégical as 17. The taste and smel. Not bad or anything, just the scent of it when aroused was so dMerent from my own body or even hers in 1& Haw long the smell would stick to your hancdk, face,ete... My first 19 How strong they can clench Jesus didnt think I was gonna get saltytangy on the tipof the tongue?) and the smell made me go into myupper lp and fingers Il'd just be sitting at work with a hard on cuz I smelled pussy all day....All those years of watching porndid 21. How far round/under/down the actual entrance to a vag is. And the grip. idn't expect her to be able to grip like she had another 22. That the cie is NOT hard to find at all It's right there. Right at the top. Big oe small it's in the same location Press that little button & it's like hitting GO on a roller coaster. I have no lidea why the claim of The clit is hard to find'or "the clit is a mych'is so rampat 23 I remember thinking a vagina was just an immoble tunnel. I was and squeeze.I was even more surprised once when Iwas with a girl and hee vagina baskally GRABBED my dick in sath a way that during those couple seconds I dont thinkI would be able to pull out without pain. Which brings a question I've atways wanted to ask girls: When the vagina squeezes, is this a coescious thing or is the 24. I was so surprised by the lablia. I remember making my move when we were leying on a secluded beach (15-year-old idea of romancel. And l intemally treaked out when my hand felt al these welrd skin folds Luckilyl kept my shit together, she suggested wego backtoher house where it's more private,I spern that walk back trying to figure out what the hell the flapping thing was that Ifelt and penicking over where the damn hole was going to be <p><a href="http://laughoutloud-club.tumblr.com/post/161016322141/24-guys-describe-their-reaction-the-first-time" class="tumblr_blog">laughoutloud-club</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>24 Guys Describe Their Reaction The First Time They Saw A Vagina In Real Life</p></blockquote>
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Bless Up, Chill, and Club: Stairway to Heaven @DrSmasihlove Sorry for talking about the gym all the time but I gotta give y'all one more story. Alright so I'm on the elliptical this morning. Like 15 yards away (that's like almost 14 meters for my non American readers 🤗) is a chubby blond woman with black nerd glasses, curly hair, and black tank, and pink tights on the Precor machine absolutely going ape shit to whatever music she listening to - WHILE she working out...Bobbing her head, flapping her arms, flicking her wrist, hitting dat hoe, everything. Doing the absolute most. And u can see people kinda staring in disapproving bewilderment and she ain't even seeing them - literally - she closed her eyes while she dancing and moving her feet 😂. Bro. My new idol. IDGAF. She wins. I fucks with her enthusiasm. I fucks with her joviality. U feel me? I fucks with her energy. What. Is it not appropriate to dance at the gym? U dance in the shower. U dance when u out at night. Why is it appropriate at the club at not the gym? Shit, I be seeing girls at the club not even dancing. They where u suppose to dance, but they ain't dancing. They done snorted so much Coke and popped so much Molly that they just heat-seeking zombies, swaying off-beat to the music, with only enough mental faculties to come to my table, drink out of one of my bottles, and grab my PP (side note: chill 🤚. Find your friends, sweetie. I'm not dumb (or desperate) enuf for this fuckshit. This ends with me on the witness stand crying saying "she came on to me, your honor!" while I'm in a orange jump suit with my hands cuffed. No thank you ... AS FUCK 🙃). How did I digress? Oh. Fuck that shit. From this day forward, dancing at the gym is ok. The big girl with the pink tights did it and I approve so it's a thing now. Do whatever u gotta do to get into the mood to get fit. Put some pink tights on and HIT DAT HOE COT - IF THAT'S WHAT U NEED TO BOOST YOUR MORALE ENUF TO FINISH THAT WORKOUT THEN DON'T LET NOBODY TELL U OTHERWISE - BLESS UP 💃🏻😍😂😂😂
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