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                            Gwyneth Paltrow Hilariously Flips the Script on Old Brad Pitt Relationship Meme
                        
                    

                    
                

            
        
    
    






    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            
            

    

        

    



        

    

    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            
            

    

        

    



        

    

    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            
            

    

        

    



        

    

    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            
            

    

        

    



        

    

    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            




    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        El Chapo, Joaquín Guzmán, and Memes: ELCHAPO MISTRESS FLIPS ON HIM IN COURT,
 EXPOSES SECRETS OF HIS NAKED ESCAPE
 THROUGH MEXICAN SEWER AS WIFE LISTENS
 @Fap
El Chapo’s mistress testified against him in court and spoke about the time El Chapo escaped from the authorities using an underground sewer tunnel.⁣⁣ -⁣⁣ The mistress stated that she was in bed with Chapo at 3AM on Feb. 16, 2014, when she was suddenly woken up by loud noises,⁣⁣ -⁣⁣ “I heard, like, a lot of thumps and helicopters. I heard yelling,” she recalled. Which was a U.S team and Mexican forces trying to break in the house.⁣⁣ -⁣⁣ “They’re on us! They’re on us!” Chapo’s associate Carlos Manuel (Condor) Hoo Ramirez yelled as Chapo, whose real name is Joaquín Guzmán Loera, started running around in a panic, Sánchez said.⁣⁣ - -⁣ ⁣ She also stated that Chapo was completely naked through all of this,⁣ ⁣ “There was like a lid on the bathtub that came up,” Sánchez testified. “I was like, ‘Do I have to go in there?…The entire tub was hollow underneath…It had a kind of a hydraulic (lift) — they call it a piston.”⁣ ⁣ “The first thing I saw was wooden steps,” she said. “I heard (Chapo) say to Condor, ‘Close up the tub.’”⁣ -⁣ Sánchez said “complete darkness” swallowed them once the hatch was closed.⁣ ⁣ “For me, it was horrible because I had never been in a place like that. It was a humid place with mud,” she told the jury.⁣ -⁣ RapTVSTAFF: @thatkidcm
        

            
            

                
                
                    El Chapo, Joaquín Guzmán, and Memes: ELCHAPO MISTRESS FLIPS ON HIM IN COURT,
 EXPOSES SECRETS OF HIS NAKED ESCAPE
 THROUGH MEXICAN SEWER AS WIFE LISTENS
 @Fap
El Chapo’s mistress testified against him in court and spoke about the time El Chapo escaped from the authorities using an underground sewer tunnel.⁣⁣ -⁣⁣ The mistress stated that she was in bed with Chapo at 3AM on Feb. 16, 2014, when she was suddenly woken up by loud noises,⁣⁣ -⁣⁣ “I heard, like, a lot of thumps and helicopters. I heard yelling,” she recalled. Which was a U.S team and Mexican forces trying to break in the house.⁣⁣ -⁣⁣ “They’re on us! They’re on us!” Chapo’s associate Carlos Manuel (Condor) Hoo Ramirez yelled as Chapo, whose real name is Joaquín Guzmán Loera, started running around in a panic, Sánchez said.⁣⁣ - -⁣ ⁣ She also stated that Chapo was completely naked through all of this,⁣ ⁣ “There was like a lid on the bathtub that came up,” Sánchez testified. “I was like, ‘Do I have to go in there?…The entire tub was hollow underneath…It had a kind of a hydraulic (lift) — they call it a piston.”⁣ ⁣ “The first thing I saw was wooden steps,” she said. “I heard (Chapo) say to Condor, ‘Close up the tub.’”⁣ -⁣ Sánchez said “complete darkness” swallowed them once the hatch was closed.⁣ ⁣ “For me, it was horrible because I had never been in a place like that. It was a humid place with mud,” she told the jury.⁣ -⁣ RapTVSTAFF: @thatkidcm
                    
                
            

            
                
                
El Chapo’s mistress testified against him in court and spoke about the time El Chapo escaped from the authorities using an underground sewer...

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
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        Animals, Beautiful, and Crying: AN AVERAGE SATURDAY MORNING:
 WITH KIDS VS. WITHOUT KID
 WITH KIDS TIME WITHOUT KIDS
 Time to get up! Someone peed 6:00
 You won't be getting up for 5
 through his diaper and now your
 bed is covered in urine
 more
 You change a diaper and try to
 get the kid to sleep a little longer
 but now the he's yelling zoo
 animals and doing flips on the
 6:30
 You made some breakfast for
 your child, but today he decided
 he hates eggs. He's saying he
 wants "scrims" but you don't
 know what that means. He won't
 explain and just keeps yelling
 "scrims" louder and louder
 7:00
 Your pillow got a little warm so
 you turn it over and go back to
 You've now watched the same
 episode of Spongebob four
 times. One time you tried to
 change it over to the news and
 your kid shoved a spoon in the
 Tranquil visions dance in your
 8:00
 O0
 head as the sweet embrace of
 slumber engulfs your resting
 body
 You attempt to take a shower
 but your kid keeps throwing can
 openers into the tub. You
 weren't aware that you hacd
 multiple can openers
 An angel comes down and
 gently kisses your forehead.
 Sleep well, sweet prince
 8:30
 You walk upstairs to your room,
 but didn't realize your kid was
 using the stairs as a stunt zone
 for Hot Wheels and you slip on
 one and nearly die as you
 tumble back down to the
 A hummingbird perches itself
 outside your window and sings a
 sweet lullaby. He blows you a
 kiss and soars away
 9:00
 You try to finally go to the
 bathroom, but forgot to lock the
 door so now your kid is crying
 because you won't let him dump
 sand in your lap. He dumps it on
 the dog instead. The sand was
 actually used cat litter
 You wake briefly to adjust your
 sleep number. (You bought an
 adjustable bed with all the
 disposable income you have
 from not having a kid.)
 9:30
 You hear laughter, which is
 almost more terrifying than
 crying. You walk in the living
 room to see your kid making 10:00
 S
 Still sleeping soundly, like a
 puppy in front of a crackling
 snow angels in glue. There's no
 way you're getting your deposit
 back with a giant glue angel in
 the middle of the carpet
 Your kid doses off and you try to
 catch up on your favorite show
 You stir a little and check your
 texts. Your friend wants to go to
 brunch later. That sounds nice
 30 more minutes of sleep and
 you'll get ready for that. Maybe
 go to mall later or ride go-karts
 Unfortunately, six minutes into it 10:30
 there's a dramatic moment
 where the music builds and your
 kid is now wide-awake. (Screw
 You get everyone loaded into
 the car to go to the zoo, even
 though it's 90 degrees and so
 humid taxidermy is coming back
 to life. Your kid yells a racial slur
 he heard in a movie. Out of all
 the words he's heard, that's the
 only one that stuck.
 You wake up feeling refreshed
 and beautiful. You know what?
 It's Saturday. Let's just lie in the
 bed a while and watch a movie
 11:00
srsfunny:Saturdays With Kids Vs. Without Kids
        

            
            

                
                
                    Animals, Beautiful, and Crying: AN AVERAGE SATURDAY MORNING:
 WITH KIDS VS. WITHOUT KID
 WITH KIDS TIME WITHOUT KIDS
 Time to get up! Someone peed 6:00
 You won't be getting up for 5
 through his diaper and now your
 bed is covered in urine
 more
 You change a diaper and try to
 get the kid to sleep a little longer
 but now the he's yelling zoo
 animals and doing flips on the
 6:30
 You made some breakfast for
 your child, but today he decided
 he hates eggs. He's saying he
 wants "scrims" but you don't
 know what that means. He won't
 explain and just keeps yelling
 "scrims" louder and louder
 7:00
 Your pillow got a little warm so
 you turn it over and go back to
 You've now watched the same
 episode of Spongebob four
 times. One time you tried to
 change it over to the news and
 your kid shoved a spoon in the
 Tranquil visions dance in your
 8:00
 O0
 head as the sweet embrace of
 slumber engulfs your resting
 body
 You attempt to take a shower
 but your kid keeps throwing can
 openers into the tub. You
 weren't aware that you hacd
 multiple can openers
 An angel comes down and
 gently kisses your forehead.
 Sleep well, sweet prince
 8:30
 You walk upstairs to your room,
 but didn't realize your kid was
 using the stairs as a stunt zone
 for Hot Wheels and you slip on
 one and nearly die as you
 tumble back down to the
 A hummingbird perches itself
 outside your window and sings a
 sweet lullaby. He blows you a
 kiss and soars away
 9:00
 You try to finally go to the
 bathroom, but forgot to lock the
 door so now your kid is crying
 because you won't let him dump
 sand in your lap. He dumps it on
 the dog instead. The sand was
 actually used cat litter
 You wake briefly to adjust your
 sleep number. (You bought an
 adjustable bed with all the
 disposable income you have
 from not having a kid.)
 9:30
 You hear laughter, which is
 almost more terrifying than
 crying. You walk in the living
 room to see your kid making 10:00
 S
 Still sleeping soundly, like a
 puppy in front of a crackling
 snow angels in glue. There's no
 way you're getting your deposit
 back with a giant glue angel in
 the middle of the carpet
 Your kid doses off and you try to
 catch up on your favorite show
 You stir a little and check your
 texts. Your friend wants to go to
 brunch later. That sounds nice
 30 more minutes of sleep and
 you'll get ready for that. Maybe
 go to mall later or ride go-karts
 Unfortunately, six minutes into it 10:30
 there's a dramatic moment
 where the music builds and your
 kid is now wide-awake. (Screw
 You get everyone loaded into
 the car to go to the zoo, even
 though it's 90 degrees and so
 humid taxidermy is coming back
 to life. Your kid yells a racial slur
 he heard in a movie. Out of all
 the words he's heard, that's the
 only one that stuck.
 You wake up feeling refreshed
 and beautiful. You know what?
 It's Saturday. Let's just lie in the
 bed a while and watch a movie
 11:00
srsfunny:Saturdays With Kids Vs. Without Kids
                    
                
            

            
                
                
srsfunny:Saturdays With Kids Vs. Without Kids

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
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        Alive, Bitch, and Chill: YOU MATCHED WITH
 ON 24/10/18
 Important question: when you do
 finger guns, do you stick up both
 pointer and middle finger or just
 pointer?
 Wed, 24 Oct, 8:20 am
 Both? Haha
 Wed, 24 Oct, 9:25 pm
 What about sounds? What do
 you do when you shoot?
 Pew pew? Haha
 Say we had a duel and I whipped
 out both hands, would that be
 too far?
 Hmm...you better be prepared
 for when i wip out two hands
 pew pew sounds*
 "I dodgeroll to the nearest table
 flipping it in one swift motion for
 cover
 * flips table in slow motion
 puts finger guns to head*
 Are you feelin lucky...punk?
 sweat beads down my
 forehead*
 Ok, ok, you got me
 "you feel a finger poke the back
 of your head*
 You hear a somewhat familiar
 Boston accent say "Do you?"
 You turn around and to your
 surprise you see Danny Devito
 standing behind you. He's on my
 side
 gulp
 *slowly lowers fingers guns
 Chill..violence is NOT the answer,
 okay?.
 jumps up and shoots Danny in
 the shoulder*
 *you feel a finger gun on your
 back, you slowly turn to see Clint
 Eastwood behind you
 *the cold finger on my back
 sends a shiver down my spine*
 "He starts whistling This is the
 End by The Doors, great song.
 "This is how I wish to go out"I
 say calmly, accepting my fate
 Are you are fucking writer?
 And then boom
 I open my eyes to see that I am
 still alive and well. Not Clint
 However
 I look at you in shock as you
 lower your finger gun. Clint
 collapses to the ground
 "You're welcome" you say
 I wish Imao
 " wait, why did i shoot him?.."i
 ask, very confused...
 "You fall to the ground, you're
 about to faint
 I rush over to you to catch you
 Succeeding
 You go cold then all of a sudden
 a shadow rushes over you
 Danny Devito's possession got
 it's revenge*
 We both wave the white flag and
 go grab a couple of drinks
 laughing about what just took
 place
 " cheers", i say, holding my
 basic white bitch drink over to
 yours
 (vodka soda)
The first conversation between myself and my (now) girlfriend
        

            
            

                
                
                    Alive, Bitch, and Chill: YOU MATCHED WITH
 ON 24/10/18
 Important question: when you do
 finger guns, do you stick up both
 pointer and middle finger or just
 pointer?
 Wed, 24 Oct, 8:20 am
 Both? Haha
 Wed, 24 Oct, 9:25 pm
 What about sounds? What do
 you do when you shoot?
 Pew pew? Haha
 Say we had a duel and I whipped
 out both hands, would that be
 too far?
 Hmm...you better be prepared
 for when i wip out two hands
 pew pew sounds*
 "I dodgeroll to the nearest table
 flipping it in one swift motion for
 cover
 * flips table in slow motion
 puts finger guns to head*
 Are you feelin lucky...punk?
 sweat beads down my
 forehead*
 Ok, ok, you got me
 "you feel a finger poke the back
 of your head*
 You hear a somewhat familiar
 Boston accent say "Do you?"
 You turn around and to your
 surprise you see Danny Devito
 standing behind you. He's on my
 side
 gulp
 *slowly lowers fingers guns
 Chill..violence is NOT the answer,
 okay?.
 jumps up and shoots Danny in
 the shoulder*
 *you feel a finger gun on your
 back, you slowly turn to see Clint
 Eastwood behind you
 *the cold finger on my back
 sends a shiver down my spine*
 "He starts whistling This is the
 End by The Doors, great song.
 "This is how I wish to go out"I
 say calmly, accepting my fate
 Are you are fucking writer?
 And then boom
 I open my eyes to see that I am
 still alive and well. Not Clint
 However
 I look at you in shock as you
 lower your finger gun. Clint
 collapses to the ground
 "You're welcome" you say
 I wish Imao
 " wait, why did i shoot him?.."i
 ask, very confused...
 "You fall to the ground, you're
 about to faint
 I rush over to you to catch you
 Succeeding
 You go cold then all of a sudden
 a shadow rushes over you
 Danny Devito's possession got
 it's revenge*
 We both wave the white flag and
 go grab a couple of drinks
 laughing about what just took
 place
 " cheers", i say, holding my
 basic white bitch drink over to
 yours
 (vodka soda)
The first conversation between myself and my (now) girlfriend
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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        Anaconda, Birthday, and Douchebag: dex
 ORIGINAL
 NOV
 Windex the Bean
 15

 726.
 2113
 Paint the Bean black so they can't Windex it
 NOV
 13

 726.
 2113
 Paint
 Thinner
 Pour Paint Thinner On The Bean After They
 Paint It Black So We Can Windex
 NOV
 13
mooncustafer:
chaotic-typist:

0-memento-mori-0:


justaplate:

claydart:

starlitskyes:

frosttrix:

extremedistressorstellarblowjob:

queen-of-heck:


brightoncemore:

todayiwrotenothing:

gay-jesus-probably:

solongstarbird:

akamine-chan:

phantomofthebookstore:

dragonastra:

jasperzilla:

moose-shampoo:
if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in the midwest, this is it. 

You missed some of the best ones 

the best part about it is that the art installation isn’t actually called the Bean. It’s called Cloud Gate, and artist Anish Kapoor (yes, THAT Anish Kapoor) hates that we call it the Bean.
But i mean, look at it. It’s a bean.


How could you forget this one though


I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA THAT THE BEAN WAS CREATED BY ANISH KAPOOR.

someone help me why is anish kapoor important what did he do?

Alright sit down for some Art World Drama bcause this is what I live for.
So, sometime last year (?) science invented Vantablack, which is the darkest possible shade of black. Art world got incredibly excited. But as it needs to be very carefully made in a lab, it’s hard to get a hold of, and is extremely expensive. Enter Anish Kapoor, aka FuckFace McGee. Anish Kapoor buys the rights to Vantablack. He is the only human being on the planet that can legally use it, and he’s kind of a prick about it.
Art world is not thrilled with that.
Enter Stuart Semple.
Stuart Semple is an artist, and also makes pigments to sell in his free time. Stuart Semple is astoundingly pissed about this Vantablack nonsense, and Anish Kapoor’s dickery. Stuart Semple makes a new pigment, the brightest shade of pink ever, called Pinkest Pink, and puts it for sale on the internet. To be bought by everybody except Anish Kapoor. Literally, to purchase, you need to confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, do not associate with him, and will not sell or give the pigment to Anish Kapoor or his associates. Art world has a good laugh, everyone buys Pinkest Pink because it’s awesome, and damn it we deserve something.
Anish Kapoor however is a penis, and will not take this lying down, because HOW DARE he not have literally everything.
Anish Kapoor gets his London associates to buy him a thing of Pinkest Pink, and being such a classy human being, posts a picture to instagram of him with his middle finger covered in Pinkest Pink, captioned with “Up yours. #pink”
Everyone flips shit, because. Y’know. Fuck that guy. Especially Stuart Semple. For context here, Anish Kapoor is one of the richest artists on the planet, and has repeatedly been referred to as everything wrong with the art world, and the epitome of the art worlds elitism problem. He’s a giant douchebag. Meanwhile Stuart Semple makes pigments just to get them out there. He turns 0 profit from his now enourmously popular pigments.
Stuart Semple launches an investigation as to who the fuck leaked Pinkest Pink, and plans to strike back. He does so by releasing two new products. First is Diamond Dust, which is a glitter made from glass, so that a painting is still visible after it’s applied, but glitters like a mofo. It’s the most reflective glitter out there, and is available to everyone who isn’t Anish Kapoor. And it being made of glass, if you stick your finger in there, it’s going to hurt quite a bit, so that was Stuart Semple’s way of saying “shove your middle finger in this, asshole, see what happens”. Except without saying that, because he can get an insult across while still being fucking classy.
He also releases Black 2.0, created with the help of over a thousand artists worldwide.
Black 2.0 is the answer to Vantablack. Black 2.0 is a slightly less black black, but looks functionally the same to the human eye. It’s completely safe, smells like cherries, and costs four pounds. Vantablack is highly toxic, potentially explosive, needs to be applied in a special laboratory and sealed properly, can’t be moved across borders, can reach 300 degrees celsius if you’re not extremely careful, and costs thousands of dollars. Anish Kapoor is the only human being who can use Vantablack. He is the only human being who cannot use Black 2.0.
So I think we can guess who got the better deal.
And thus the feud ends, Kapoor defeated.
…But not quite.
Kapoor, in this entire afair, has made exactly two comments to the public. The first being his charming message about aquiring Pinkest Pink, the second being claiming to Buzzfeed that he and his small army of lawyers will be suing Semple, an extremely poor artist who cannot afford a lawyer.
No lawsuit has been made yet, fyi.
The point is, Kapoor is a prick, and doesn’t like talking to the lower classes. So one day in July 2017, he decides he needs another floor on his London studio apartment, and starts making arrangements to have it built. His neighbors are fucking pissed, because this will ruin the light of their apartments. They call to Semple to save them, or at the very least piss Kapoor off some more.
Semple answers to the call, and releases two new paints, Phaze and Shift, as always, banned to Kapoor. They change colours, Phaze with temperature, and Shift is just iridescent. Shift needs to be painted over Black 2.0 to work, and Phaze just works on its own.
So that’s been the art world for the last two years.
Basically, get fucked Anish Kapoor your bean sucks and so does your vantablack.

Stuart Semple is organising a bean-kissing event for Anish Kapoor’s birthday.


Reblogging for “By attending this event you confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are in no way affiliated with Anish Kapoor, you are not attending on behalf of Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information, and belief this event will not be attended by Anish Kapoor.”


ALSO HE JUST POSTED THIS!!!!!! LIGHTEST LIGHT!


I know this isn’t my art blog but this entire post gives me life 

im sorry is that man holding a real actual miniature star in his hands

Y’all missed the best part about the lightest light, called aptly ‘Lit’. This is from their product page:

Two things:
1. “Anish Kapoor is however a penis” is the best line in this post.
2. I wish to be half as petty and half as awesome as Stuart Semple


I hope Stuart Semple is making a lot of money. What a good person.

Go support him the paint’s are pretty cheap and you get the added bonus of being one of many to help piss off Anish Kapoor


@decepticonsensual 

This just keeps getting more dramatic.

        

            
            

                
                
                    Anaconda, Birthday, and Douchebag: dex
 ORIGINAL
 NOV
 Windex the Bean
 15

 726.
 2113
 Paint the Bean black so they can't Windex it
 NOV
 13

 726.
 2113
 Paint
 Thinner
 Pour Paint Thinner On The Bean After They
 Paint It Black So We Can Windex
 NOV
 13
mooncustafer:
chaotic-typist:

0-memento-mori-0:


justaplate:

claydart:

starlitskyes:

frosttrix:

extremedistressorstellarblowjob:

queen-of-heck:


brightoncemore:

todayiwrotenothing:

gay-jesus-probably:

solongstarbird:

akamine-chan:

phantomofthebookstore:

dragonastra:

jasperzilla:

moose-shampoo:
if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in the midwest, this is it. 

You missed some of the best ones 

the best part about it is that the art installation isn’t actually called the Bean. It’s called Cloud Gate, and artist Anish Kapoor (yes, THAT Anish Kapoor) hates that we call it the Bean.
But i mean, look at it. It’s a bean.


How could you forget this one though


I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA THAT THE BEAN WAS CREATED BY ANISH KAPOOR.

someone help me why is anish kapoor important what did he do?

Alright sit down for some Art World Drama bcause this is what I live for.
So, sometime last year (?) science invented Vantablack, which is the darkest possible shade of black. Art world got incredibly excited. But as it needs to be very carefully made in a lab, it’s hard to get a hold of, and is extremely expensive. Enter Anish Kapoor, aka FuckFace McGee. Anish Kapoor buys the rights to Vantablack. He is the only human being on the planet that can legally use it, and he’s kind of a prick about it.
Art world is not thrilled with that.
Enter Stuart Semple.
Stuart Semple is an artist, and also makes pigments to sell in his free time. Stuart Semple is astoundingly pissed about this Vantablack nonsense, and Anish Kapoor’s dickery. Stuart Semple makes a new pigment, the brightest shade of pink ever, called Pinkest Pink, and puts it for sale on the internet. To be bought by everybody except Anish Kapoor. Literally, to purchase, you need to confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, do not associate with him, and will not sell or give the pigment to Anish Kapoor or his associates. Art world has a good laugh, everyone buys Pinkest Pink because it’s awesome, and damn it we deserve something.
Anish Kapoor however is a penis, and will not take this lying down, because HOW DARE he not have literally everything.
Anish Kapoor gets his London associates to buy him a thing of Pinkest Pink, and being such a classy human being, posts a picture to instagram of him with his middle finger covered in Pinkest Pink, captioned with “Up yours. #pink”
Everyone flips shit, because. Y’know. Fuck that guy. Especially Stuart Semple. For context here, Anish Kapoor is one of the richest artists on the planet, and has repeatedly been referred to as everything wrong with the art world, and the epitome of the art worlds elitism problem. He’s a giant douchebag. Meanwhile Stuart Semple makes pigments just to get them out there. He turns 0 profit from his now enourmously popular pigments.
Stuart Semple launches an investigation as to who the fuck leaked Pinkest Pink, and plans to strike back. He does so by releasing two new products. First is Diamond Dust, which is a glitter made from glass, so that a painting is still visible after it’s applied, but glitters like a mofo. It’s the most reflective glitter out there, and is available to everyone who isn’t Anish Kapoor. And it being made of glass, if you stick your finger in there, it’s going to hurt quite a bit, so that was Stuart Semple’s way of saying “shove your middle finger in this, asshole, see what happens”. Except without saying that, because he can get an insult across while still being fucking classy.
He also releases Black 2.0, created with the help of over a thousand artists worldwide.
Black 2.0 is the answer to Vantablack. Black 2.0 is a slightly less black black, but looks functionally the same to the human eye. It’s completely safe, smells like cherries, and costs four pounds. Vantablack is highly toxic, potentially explosive, needs to be applied in a special laboratory and sealed properly, can’t be moved across borders, can reach 300 degrees celsius if you’re not extremely careful, and costs thousands of dollars. Anish Kapoor is the only human being who can use Vantablack. He is the only human being who cannot use Black 2.0.
So I think we can guess who got the better deal.
And thus the feud ends, Kapoor defeated.
…But not quite.
Kapoor, in this entire afair, has made exactly two comments to the public. The first being his charming message about aquiring Pinkest Pink, the second being claiming to Buzzfeed that he and his small army of lawyers will be suing Semple, an extremely poor artist who cannot afford a lawyer.
No lawsuit has been made yet, fyi.
The point is, Kapoor is a prick, and doesn’t like talking to the lower classes. So one day in July 2017, he decides he needs another floor on his London studio apartment, and starts making arrangements to have it built. His neighbors are fucking pissed, because this will ruin the light of their apartments. They call to Semple to save them, or at the very least piss Kapoor off some more.
Semple answers to the call, and releases two new paints, Phaze and Shift, as always, banned to Kapoor. They change colours, Phaze with temperature, and Shift is just iridescent. Shift needs to be painted over Black 2.0 to work, and Phaze just works on its own.
So that’s been the art world for the last two years.
Basically, get fucked Anish Kapoor your bean sucks and so does your vantablack.

Stuart Semple is organising a bean-kissing event for Anish Kapoor’s birthday.


Reblogging for “By attending this event you confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are in no way affiliated with Anish Kapoor, you are not attending on behalf of Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information, and belief this event will not be attended by Anish Kapoor.”


ALSO HE JUST POSTED THIS!!!!!! LIGHTEST LIGHT!


I know this isn’t my art blog but this entire post gives me life 

im sorry is that man holding a real actual miniature star in his hands

Y’all missed the best part about the lightest light, called aptly ‘Lit’. This is from their product page:

Two things:
1. “Anish Kapoor is however a penis” is the best line in this post.
2. I wish to be half as petty and half as awesome as Stuart Semple


I hope Stuart Semple is making a lot of money. What a good person.

Go support him the paint’s are pretty cheap and you get the added bonus of being one of many to help piss off Anish Kapoor


@decepticonsensual 

This just keeps getting more dramatic.

                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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