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Cats, Chicago, and Clock: The Independent @Independent Here's what you should do in the event of a nuclear attack ind.pn/ 2piOhjW 8/9/17, 3:19 PM NBC News @NBCNews NBC NEWS "Don't run. Get inside". What experts say to do in case of a nuclear attack nbcnews.to/2VNWTmt 8/9/17, 9:30 AM CN CNN @CNN Hawaii is preparing in case of a North Korea attack. Experts say you have about 15 min. to take cover after a launch cnn.it/2upXdZ9 taraljc: lemonsharks: nikkoliferous: biggest-goldiest-spoon: zoanzon: missmwynter: madlyinlov3onda: oakenroots: oakenroots: quietrain: shesheistyy: tripprophet: weavemama: ladies and gentlemen we have officially reached the “in case a nuclear attack happens” phase……. [x] This shit is wild. Wtf a table finna do for anybody?? There’s basically nothing you can do but die they’re doing this to give people a sense of safety , even though we full well know this won’t work at all. ALRIGHT KIDDOS LISTEN UP! I did emergency management for the air force which involves this fun thing called Plume Modelling (aka chart the path of death for a given bomb based on its payload, distance, type of detonation, etc) and let me tell you some actual LEGIT™ methods of minimizing damage to your life. Unless you are within the vaporization zone (where you turn into a fucking shadow because of your proximity to the blast) there is a specific order of events nuke blasts cause and there are ways to protect against these things. 1. There is this thing called a flash to bang ratio. It is really freaking important. The first wave from a nuke is a blinding flash of light that can literally FRY YOUR RETINAS. If you believe that a nuke has just dropped on your city, HIDE AND DONT LOOK AT IT. @shesheistyy a good solid table is good for this but you’re way less likely to go blind if you get to an internal room with no windows, especially one below ground. 2. After the flash there will be the bang. If the time between the flash and the bang, counted in Mississippi seconds, is more than 10 seconds you MIGHT survive and just die of cancer later. If it’s between five and 10 buckle up kiddos because the worst is yet to come. And well if it’s less than 3 you won’t live long enough to remember this. These are loose estimates only. 3. The “bang” usually announces the arrival of the fire ball. Yes. A massive heat shock will erupt from the core of the bomb and light pretty much every thing it comes into contact with, including your flesh, on fire. Back to that whole “metal buildings underground” thing. There’s really no getting around the whole getting lit on fire if you’re too close thing. 4. Fallout. When the bomb goes off it sucks all of the shit it just vaporized up into the air with it and as the blast cools, it begins to rain down the radioactive fucked molten wreckage onto everyone in a huge radius. Just because the fallout you can see has stopped doesn’t mean the molecular radiation has stopped. The survival factors for nuclear blasts are time, distance and shielding. The longer it takes for it to get to you the less of it there is. The further away from the source the less dead you are. Want to survive? Put 6 feet of concrete and/or 2 feet of lead between you and everything else. Yes. Those loons with their bunkers actually got something right. NOW! About radiation! If you are so fortunate as to survive one of these blasts and not be vaporized or burnt to a crisp or die of radiation poisoning within hours, you need to understand the types of radiation. Gamma radiation is the most “severe” in that it can penetrate your flesh through your clothes and house, causing severe illness. Gamma radiation fucks with your cell walls and disrupts your DNA. It kills you in hours, months or years. Some people survive decades. Think of gamma like the sun. Too much exposure gives you cancer. Now Beta, on the other hand, think of Beta particles like sand on the beach. Its in the air. Its in your clothes, in the creases of your fingers. But beta particles can burn through your flesh or get into your blood stream through open wounds. Luckily they can be stopped with nonporous materials, like rubber, or foil. Make that two points for the loony conspiracy theorists. Aluminum foil does protect from beta radiation. And finally, Alpha radiation. Think of alpha Radiation like dust motes. It takes a high density filter to prevent you from breathing them in and if you’re surrounded by rubble they’re probably everywhere. Alpha particles do the same thing as beta particles in terms of getting into your system and wrecking your shit. So! Survival? Most likely based on dumb luck. But! If you think you’re being nuked 1. get under ground or at least to an internal room of the building if no other options are available. 2. CLOSE YOUR EYES. Curl into the fetal position to protect your orifices and vital organs from gamma radiation and get low to the ground to reduce damage from the blast and potential ceiling collapse. 3.You will still feel the flash pass over you. Count. One, two, three… If you aren’t vaporized yet keep counting. Pray to every god ever imagined that you get to 10 before you hear the bang. 4. Bang. Try not to shit yourself. The fireball will follow almost instantly if you’re in range. Be prepared to start rolling to put yourself out. 5. Fallout rains down. Do not open your eyes. Do not stop praying. As hard as it is because time will feel as if it has slowed to a crawl, try not to leave your position for at least 30 minutes, although 60 minutes is better. At 30 minutes, only 60% of the potential fall out has fallen but by 60 minutes, up to 90% may have come down. 6. Remember, Alpha and beta radiation are particles. Do not put anything in your body that has not been thoroughly washed, dusted of or came from a sealed package. Point 3 for the conspiracy theorists, hot pockets and canned food are probably still safe. Do not leave shelter without goggles, and try to wrap yourself in a minimum of those weird space blankets but rubber and metal lined suits (like hazmat suits) are best for the job. Good luck in the future apocalypse! Reblogged with improved readability! Look whats Relevant again… I wonder if there’s any where to watch White Light, Black Rain. Saw it back in highschool. History repeats and all that jazz. After all, It’s not like ‘duck and cover’ and other nuclear protection methods of dubious quality weren’t a mainstream in the Cold War or anything… We’ve been here before. It’s just the first time around for us younger crowd. Stay safe. Reminder that according to the Doomsday Clock, we are currently at greater threat of nuclear annihilation than we were even at the height of the Cold War. Nukemap for “how far from ground zero must I be to survive this” https://nuclearsecrecy.com/nukemap/ Like… Manhattan might be toast but that doesn’t mean the citizens of Long Island shouldn’t know how to mitigate their terrible fuckin situation just because Manhattan is toast. If downtown Chicago is at the center of a nuclear bombing when I’m at work I’m dead, but if I’m home I have a chance to shelter in place and then bag up the cats and go crash with friends in Wisconsin. And also how absofuckinglutely horrifying is it that we need to know this shit? very absofuckingluteky horrifying
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College, Complex, and Doctor: Garet Bleir @GaretBleir 1/8 Yesterday, Francisco Galicia, a high school senior born in Dallas, TX called his mother for the first time after being released from nearly a month of illegal detainment in U.S. Concentration camps at the hands of CBP and ICE. He was held in "inhumane" conditions, he told me. South Texas 566 Veterans Drive 3:02 PM Jul 24, 2019 Twitter for iPhone Garet Bleir @GaretBleir 21h Replying to @GaretBleir 2/8 Francisco, a U.s. born citizen, was detained by Border Patrol on June 27th at a checkpoint in Falfurrias, Texas while driving with his friends on their way to a college soccer scouting event. At the checkpoint, he showed Border Patrol agents proof of his birth in the U... 1 Garet Bleir @GaretBleir 21h 3/8 he had on him - his Texas State ID, his wallet-sized birth certificate, and his social security card, but the agents told him they believed the documents weren't real, his attorney told me. For the entire three weeks he was held captive in CBP custody, Francisco was not... 1 Garet Bleir @GaretBleir 21h 4/8 allowed to use the phone, even for calls to his attorney or to his mother who feared he would be deported. It wasn't until Saturday, after being transferred to ICE custody, that he was allowed to make a collect phone call. 3 1 Garet Bleir @GaretBleir 21h 5/8 Despite multiple attempts by family members and his attorney to give further proof of his U.S. citizenship, it wasn't until the attorney took this to the news media and grassroots activists throughout Texas that ICE finally released Francisco, she says. 1 t 1 4 Garet Bleir @GaretBleir 21h 6/8 The attorney was told that she would have to present the documents to ICE officials upon arrival at South Texas Detention Complex in Pearsall, TX but after a handful of activists and reporters arrived at the detention facility... 9 1 3 Garet Bleir @GaretBleir 21h 7/8. we watched as ICE officials released Francisco without even speaking to the attorney. This further shows that the officials not only had the proper documentation for his release, they also knew that they had the proper documentation and that he was a U.S. citizen. 1 t 2 5 Garet Bleir @GaretBleir 21h 8/8 I'll be sharing more updates soon, along with videos and photos showing what happened while we were there as soon as possible. Photo: Garet Bleir - Journalism arctic-hands: swan2swan: swan2swan: If you haven’t seen this story, look up his name: Francisco Galicia.  Expect to see him come 2020, when the debates begin and the political battle heats up. Expect to see him in a suit testifying in court, or before Congress. This young man is a witness and a victim, and the fact that this isn’t a more prominent story on every news station is what truly frightens me. From The Dallas News: Galicia says he lost 26 pounds during that time in a South Texas immigrant detention center because officers didn’t provide him with enough food. He said he wasn’t allowed to shower and his skin was dry and dirty. He and 60 other men were crammed into an overcrowded holding area where they slept on the floor and were given only aluminum-foil blankets, he said. Some men had to sleep on the restroom area floor. Ticks bit some of the men and some were very sick, Galicia said. But many were afraid to ask to go to the doctor because CBP officers told them their stay would start over if they did, he said. I would remind you that concentration camps are actually real.  “I told them we had rights and asked to make a phone call. But they told us, ‘You don’t have rights to anything’,” Francisco Galicia said. This is happening. [the screencapped tweets are in initial link]

arctic-hands: swan2swan: swan2swan: If you haven’t seen this story, look up his name: Francisco Galicia.  Expect to see him come 2020, whe...

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Clothes, cnn.com, and Dumb: The Independent @Independent Here's what you should do in the event of a nuclear attack ind.pn/ 2piOhjW 8/9/17, 3:19 PM NBC News @NBCNews NBC NEWS "Don't run. Get inside". What experts say to do in case of a nuclear attack nbcnews.to/2VNWTmt 8/9/17, 9:30 AM CN CNN @CNN Hawaii is preparing in case of a North Korea attack. Experts say you have about 15 min. to take cover after a launch cnn.it/2upXdZ9 biggest-goldiest-spoon: zoanzon: missmwynter: madlyinlov3onda: oakenroots: oakenroots: quietrain: shesheistyy: tripprophet: weavemama: ladies and gentlemen we have officially reached the “in case a nuclear attack happens” phase……. [x] This shit is wild. Wtf a table finna do for anybody?? There’s basically nothing you can do but die they’re doing this to give people a sense of safety , even though we full well know this won’t work at all. ALRIGHT KIDDOS LISTEN UP! I did emergency management for the air force which involves this fun thing called Plume Modelling (aka chart the path of death for a given bomb based on its payload, distance, type of detonation, etc) and let me tell you some actual LEGIT™ methods of minimizing damage to your life. Unless you are within the vaporization zone (where you turn into a fucking shadow because of your proximity to the blast) there is a specific order of events nuke blasts cause and there are ways to protect against these things. 1. There is this thing called a flash to bang ratio. It is really freaking important. The first wave from a nuke is a blinding flash of light that can literally FRY YOUR RETINAS. If you believe that a nuke has just dropped on your city, HIDE AND DONT LOOK AT IT. @shesheistyy a good solid table is good for this but you’re way less likely to go blind if you get to an internal room with no windows, especially one below ground. 2. After the flash there will be the bang. If the time between the flash and the bang, counted in Mississippi seconds, is more than 10 seconds you MIGHT survive and just die of cancer later. If it’s between five and 10 buckle up kiddos because the worst is yet to come. And well if it’s less than 3 you won’t live long enough to remember this. These are loose estimates only. 3. The “bang” usually announces the arrival of the fire ball. Yes. A massive heat shock will erupt from the core of the bomb and light pretty much every thing it comes into contact with, including your flesh, on fire. Back to that whole “metal buildings underground” thing. There’s really no getting around the whole getting lit on fire if you’re too close thing. 4. Fallout. When the bomb goes off it sucks all of the shit it just vaporized up into the air with it and as the blast cools, it begins to rain down the radioactive fucked molten wreckage onto everyone in a huge radius. Just because the fallout you can see has stopped doesn’t mean the molecular radiation has stopped. The survival factors for nuclear blasts are time, distance and shielding. The longer it takes for it to get to you the less of it there is. The further away from the source the less dead you are. Want to survive? Put 6 feet of concrete and/or 2 feet of lead between you and everything else. Yes. Those loons with their bunkers actually got something right. NOW! About radiation! If you are so fortunate as to survive one of these blasts and not be vaporized or burnt to a crisp or die of radiation poisoning within hours, you need to understand the types of radiation. Gamma radiation is the most “severe” in that it can penetrate your flesh through your clothes and house, causing severe illness. Gamma radiation fucks with your cell walls and disrupts your DNA. It kills you in hours, months or years. Some people survive decades. Think of gamma like the sun. Too much exposure gives you cancer. Now Beta, on the other hand, think of Beta particles like sand on the beach. Its in the air. Its in your clothes, in the creases of your fingers. But beta particles can burn through your flesh or get into your blood stream through open wounds. Luckily they can be stopped with nonporous materials, like rubber, or foil. Make that two points for the loony conspiracy theorists. Aluminum foil does protect from beta radiation. And finally, Alpha radiation. Think of alpha Radiation like dust motes. It takes a high density filter to prevent you from breathing them in and if you’re surrounded by rubble they’re probably everywhere. Alpha particles do the same thing as beta particles in terms of getting into your system and wrecking your shit. So! Survival? Most likely based on dumb luck. But! If you think you’re being nuked 1. get under ground or at least to an internal room of the building if no other options are available. 2. CLOSE YOUR EYES. Curl into the fetal position to protect your orifices and vital organs from gamma radiation and get low to the ground to reduce damage from the blast and potential ceiling collapse. 3.You will still feel the flash pass over you. Count. One, two, three… If you aren’t vaporized yet keep counting. Pray to every god ever imagined that you get to 10 before you hear the bang. 4. Bang. Try not to shit yourself. The fireball will follow almost instantly if you’re in range. Be prepared to start rolling to put yourself out. 5. Fallout rains down. Do not open your eyes. Do not stop praying. As hard as it is because time will feel as if it has slowed to a crawl, try not to leave your position for at least 30 minutes, although 60 minutes is better. At 30 minutes, only 60% of the potential fall out has fallen but by 60 minutes, up to 90% may have come down. 6. Remember, Alpha and beta radiation are particles. Do not put anything in your body that has not been thoroughly washed, dusted of or came from a sealed package. Point 3 for the conspiracy theorists, hot pockets and canned food are probably still safe. Do not leave shelter without goggles, and try to wrap yourself in a minimum of those weird space blankets but rubber and metal lined suits (like hazmat suits) are best for the job. Good luck in the future apocalypse! Reblogged with improved readability! Look whats Relevant again… I wonder if there’s any where to watch White Light, Black Rain. Saw it back in highschool. History repeats and all that jazz. After all, It’s not like ‘duck and cover’ and other nuclear protection methods of dubious quality weren’t a mainstream in the Cold War or anything… We’ve been here before. It’s just the first time around for us younger crowd. Stay safe.
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Counter Strike, Fuck You, and Fucking: 11:25 13:12 sharpest jello kitchen knife insharpest carbon fiber kitchen the world 圧倒的不妾者の極み! 10,447,009 views 2 months ago knife in the world 圧倒的不妾者の極み! 13,634,525 views 2 months ago 11:48 11:15 sharpest Cardboard kitchen knife in the world 圧倒的不妾者の極み! 12,212,340 views 1 month ago Sharpening a 1 knife with S 300 Whetstone 圧倒的不妾者の極み! 3,047,043 views 7 months ago 8:27 sharpest ice kitchen knife in the world 圧倒的不審者の極み! 5,246,153 views 2 months ago sharpest Aluminium foil kitchen knife in the world 圧倒的不審者の極み! 4,598,865 views 3 months ago synthicyde: karpad: darkbookworm13: feedmecomicart: webbut: seelcudoom: transgirlnausicaa: durbikins: Counter Strike: Global Offensive this guys videos are fucking incredible i really want everyone to watch them this man is like midas but with knives instead of gold, he can make anything a knife, sicssor knives ,ice knives, cardboard knives, tiny knives if it can be made into a knife he will do it, and if he cant, he will do it anyway because fuck you This doesn’t even have the best one. One time he made a knife out of ravioli then proceeded to use the knife made out of ravioli to cut up cheese and tomatoes and basil and shit then took the ravioli knife that he had used to cut up his other ingredients and cooked said knife with those ingredients and ate the fucking knife! ate the fucking knife nah, his best one? he made a knife out of smoke. You know how to sharpen smoke? this guy does. Let’s not forget everything else in his videos. The googly eyes he puts on things His cow jugs The empty fridge that only contains Jack Daniels Chocolate That one time a bear figurine possessed with a demon would attack him if he didn’t pet it so he had to build a machine that constantly rolled the bear against brushes so he would be safe long enough to finish the knife
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Counter Strike, Fuck You, and Fucking: 11:25 13:12 sharpest jello kitchen knife insharpest carbon fiber kitchen the world 圧倒的不妾者の極み! 10,447,009 views 2 months ago knife in the world 圧倒的不妾者の極み! 13,634,525 views 2 months ago 11:48 11:15 sharpest Cardboard kitchen knife in the world 圧倒的不妾者の極み! 12,212,340 views 1 month ago Sharpening a 1 knife with S 300 Whetstone 圧倒的不妾者の極み! 3,047,043 views 7 months ago 8:27 sharpest ice kitchen knife in the world 圧倒的不審者の極み! 5,246,153 views 2 months ago sharpest Aluminium foil kitchen knife in the world 圧倒的不審者の極み! 4,598,865 views 3 months ago synthicyde: karpad: darkbookworm13: feedmecomicart: webbut: seelcudoom: transgirlnausicaa: durbikins: Counter Strike: Global Offensive this guys videos are fucking incredible i really want everyone to watch them this man is like midas but with knives instead of gold, he can make anything a knife, sicssor knives ,ice knives, cardboard knives, tiny knives if it can be made into a knife he will do it, and if he cant, he will do it anyway because fuck you This doesn’t even have the best one. One time he made a knife out of ravioli then proceeded to use the knife made out of ravioli to cut up cheese and tomatoes and basil and shit then took the ravioli knife that he had used to cut up his other ingredients and cooked said knife with those ingredients and ate the fucking knife! ate the fucking knife nah, his best one? he made a knife out of smoke. You know how to sharpen smoke? this guy does. Let’s not forget everything else in his videos. The googly eyes he puts on things His cow jugs The empty fridge that only contains Jack Daniels Chocolate That one time a bear figurine possessed with a demon would attack him if he didn’t pet it so he had to build a machine that constantly rolled the bear against brushes so he would be safe long enough to finish the knife
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Christmas, College, and Dumb: Another thing! If you live in a college dorm that has a polcoy against candles being lit in the rooms, and you want to light a menorah for Chanukah, seek out help advocating yourself from your local Chabad, Hillel, or other assorted Jewish organization. They know how to deal with this stuff and will help you work on a compromise with school officials. You have a right to celebrate Chanukah. neoacidic "my religion is more important than other people's safety!!" sorry but do you hear yourself? celebrate, if you must, but don't infringe upon others or think you're above the law (when the law is no unjust.) thinkherenow: surprisedentistry: femme-radicale: surprisedentistry: realsadjewishhours: keshetchai: 5779: keshetchai: 5779: today on Weird Goyische Meltdowns I have literally had my gentile neighbors start two actual real apartment fires in the last MONTH because they can’t keep an eye on their cooking, meanwhile I light candles ALL THE TIME AT HOME and never set ANYTHING ON FIRE BECAUSE I AM RIGHT FRIGGIN THERE. Do you know what I do with Chanukkah candles on?? I turn off my lights and watch them melt and maybe I do something with my hands but I keep an eye!!! On!!! THEM!!!! #… holy shit guys there’s LED lights for a reason #like if it’s that much of a danger just use LEDs for your decor lighting a menorah reeeeally is not “decor”  It’s NOT that much of a danger. I live in an “adult” neighborhood of apartments (i.e. Not with college students) and again, people have caused two fires this month while making breakfast. One fire burned down most of the building next door to mine. regular old adults using a microwave or stove! But when I light my candles for either Shabbat or Chanukkah I am WATCHING them. I have tin foil nearby, I have water nearby, my religious observances (which aren’t fulfilled by an LED light) are not, in my experience, the greatest fire hazard around. You know what is? People making breakfast people not cleaning LINT out of their dryer. Also LED lights do not fulfill the Jewish obligations that candles/oil do. We literally cannnot use LED lights please stop suggesting this. gentiles on this post have been weirdly convinced that they’re the only ones who know about decorative electronic menorahs and that they just need to educate the ignorant jews  What the fuck? If you want to have your candles go live somewhere those are allowed instead of putting others at risk and making everyone around cater for you. today on Weird Goyische Meltdowns The National Fire Protection Association reports “Between 2012-2016, U.S. fire departments responded to an average 170 home fires that started with Christmas trees per year. These fires caused an average of 4 deaths, 15 injuries, and $12 million in direct property damage annually.” but go off on the Jews for doing their thing. Hey everyone Id like to just speak up for my Jewish friends and followers and say y'all should stop being dumb fucks and respect Judaism and the people who observe it!!! You do not know more about thing relating to their religion than they do! You are not entitled to tell them to stop practicing their religion properly when they explain they have been doing it safely! Any fires caused by someones menorah is not at the fault of Jewish people! It is at the fault of that specific person not watching their candles! Same as if you dont watch a stove! Shut the fuck up or Ill punch you!To all my Jewish friends and followers: I apologise for these ignorant fools - light your candles and have a Happy Chanukah!!!
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9/11, America, and Children: The Turkey Story So it's 2001, and my family drives from fu California and like three blizzards to get to Ohio for into a nursing home and it's their last holiday in that house. So its a bit bittersweet but ultimately a good thing. Since it's their last holiday there, the family pulls out all the stops when it comes to dinner, all the Russian desserts come out, as does the Lethal Bacon Mashed Potatoes and the horrible candied yams with the mini marshmallows dish because not all expressions of love are even if they are si In the spirit of going alout, Uncle Bobby smokes a Turkey Uncle Bobby started cooking as a boy foil-wrapped potatoes into a campfire and has been ad- dicted since, and now has a hand-made smokehouse in the backyard where he makes various cured meats and other delights. He seasons the turkey in the traditional manner, but he and grandpa have a shared passion for SO Game Hen seasoned that way, for them. Then Bobby has a Brilliant Idea. He realizes that he can stuff the turkey (once it has been smoked) with regular stuffing, and there is still plenty of room for him to put the game hen inside THAT, and stuff the game hen be- cuase why not? He confers with Mom, and she explains how to cut open the turkey so there's dramatic reveal as the stuffing and game hen come out. It's Genius. Except, of course, that my Aunt Sue is attending, Uncle Cliff s after her So the day of the dinner, tensions are running a bit high, between the marathon cooking, the kids al being trapped indoors due to aforementioned blizzards, and Uncle Cliff deciding that the best way to amuse himself is by hiding from the adults in the basement, getting drunk and rambling about how various ethic groups were destroying America. Being that I had close Muslim friends that were leaving the country becuase of 9/11, 1 was near tears from this nonsense and ready to n roughly five times my size. Sue, for some reason, keeps coming down and defending him, or telling us we're rotten children for 'attacking him, becuase she Must Stand By Her Man, even if her man is a hefty bag of dog feces with an ugly mustache My sister eventually boits upstairs to tattle and my grandfather limps down to the basement and brandishes his Hip Bone Cane, hands rock-steady in spite of the Parkinson's slowly taking over him. Firstly Cliff, It may not be my roof much longer but while you are under it you will be civil, or Ill beat your skull in. Also, dinner's ready, everyone go wash up. We go upstairs and sit down, and do the traditional "Name one thing you're thankful for as the bread gets passed around the table, and things calm down a bit. Bobby brings out the Turkey and everyone goes OOH becuase it's really pretty, them Mom carves it open so that the stuffing spills out dramatically along with the game hen and there's an appreciative gasp all around becuase it looks cool. Only Sue KEEPS gasping, in utter horror, before getting up and clasping her hands to her face ala Edvard Munch and shrieks OH MY GOD IT WAS PREGNANTI We all stare at Sue. We all look back at the fully-dressed-cooked-and-stuffed birds that in no way had any internal organs in them or ever gave live birth Then we all looked back at Sue, trying to figure out where to begin but since shed been trying to justify Cliffs behavior she was pretty much free-associating conspiracies and scandals now, and just kept going. IT WAS PREGNANT MY GOD WE'VE COMMITTED AN ABORTION WE'RE ALL GOING TO HELL FOR THIS, I'M SO SORRY JESUS She goes into full pearl-clutching gibbering horror at this point and falls back into her chair like it's a Victorian fainting couch only it's a shitty chair from the Eisenhower administration so it collapses and she slams into the floor, sobbing and kicking her feet like a toddler Everyone watched for a moment before my Mom sighs heavily and starts carving and serving the turkey while my grandmother mouths she's not coming back Cliff, reactions delayed by about six beers, finally notices his wife is on the floor and tries to pick her up, are assisted by Dad, who is saintly patient man and less immune to this jacknapery at that point. I am stuffing dinner rolls into my face to keep from laughing at this grand spectacle ICANT EAT IT, I REFUSE TO PARTAKE IN THIS BARBARISM Sue begins but Dad puts on his best Kindly Father voice (he was heavily involved with the catholic church and even considered becoming a priest before getting drafted but that's another story)and assures Sue that she need not eat, or even be in the room if she wants. She nods, placated by being the center of attention again, and Dad goes in for the kill. I wouldn't want you to go hungry. Can I make you some That would be lovely." Said Sue, joke flying over her ng 747. I recall watching my grandmot her nearly choke to death on the green beans over that, and everyone pointedly trying to avoid talking about anything poultry-related while Sue sat there and ate the most ironic scrambled eggs in the history of mankind. Shortly thereafter, Cliff threw up in the sink and they went home, and the party got underway properly, with Grandpa raising a toast to Mom and Uncle Bobby For t Turkey has been an staple since then. I'll see if I can hit Uncle Bobby up for instructions but if you decide to make it 1. you HAVE to shriek "OH MY GOD IT WAS PREGNANT when you carve it open, or it's not authentic and won't taste as good 2. Share the pictures with me, Very planned Parenthood
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Desk, Vacation, and Single: Came back from a long vacation to literally every single thing on my desk wrapped in tin foil

Came back from a long vacation to literally every single thing on my desk wrapped in tin foil

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Desk, Vacation, and Single: Came back from a long vacation to literally every single thing on my desk wrapped in tin foil

Came back from a long vacation to literally every single thing on my desk wrapped in tin foil

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Counter Strike, Fuck You, and Fucking: 11:25 13:12 sharpest jello kitchen knife insharpest carbon fiber kitchen the world 圧倒的不妾者の極み! 10,447,009 views 2 months ago knife in the world 圧倒的不妾者の極み! 13,634,525 views 2 months ago 11:48 11:15 sharpest Cardboard kitchen knife in the world 圧倒的不妾者の極み! 12,212,340 views 1 month ago Sharpening a 1 knife with S 300 Whetstone 圧倒的不妾者の極み! 3,047,043 views 7 months ago 8:27 sharpest ice kitchen knife in the world 圧倒的不審者の極み! 5,246,153 views 2 months ago sharpest Aluminium foil kitchen knife in the world 圧倒的不審者の極み! 4,598,865 views 3 months ago shrineart: synthicyde: karpad: darkbookworm13: feedmecomicart: webbut: seelcudoom: transgirlnausicaa: durbikins: Counter Strike: Global Offensive this guys videos are fucking incredible i really want everyone to watch them this man is like midas but with knives instead of gold, he can make anything a knife, sicssor knives ,ice knives, cardboard knives, tiny knives if it can be made into a knife he will do it, and if he cant, he will do it anyway because fuck you This doesn’t even have the best one. One time he made a knife out of ravioli then proceeded to use the knife made out of ravioli to cut up cheese and tomatoes and basil and shit then took the ravioli knife that he had used to cut up his other ingredients and cooked said knife with those ingredients and ate the fucking knife! ate the fucking knife nah, his best one? he made a knife out of smoke. You know how to sharpen smoke? this guy does. Let’s not forget everything else in his videos. The googly eyes he puts on things His cow jugs The empty fridge that only contains Jack Daniels Chocolate That one time a bear figurine possessed with a demon would attack him if he didn’t pet it so he had to build a machine that constantly rolled the bear against brushes so he would be safe long enough to finish the knife He liquified the jello knife, put the jello BACK into the little containers, sealed them, then ate them. Like this man is wild.
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Counter Strike, Fuck You, and Fucking: 11:25 13:12 sharpest jello kitchen knife insharpest carbon fiber kitchen the world 圧倒的不妾者の極み! 10,447,009 views 2 months ago knife in the world 圧倒的不妾者の極み! 13,634,525 views 2 months ago 11:48 11:15 sharpest Cardboard kitchen knife in the world 圧倒的不妾者の極み! 12,212,340 views 1 month ago Sharpening a 1 knife with S 300 Whetstone 圧倒的不妾者の極み! 3,047,043 views 7 months ago 8:27 sharpest ice kitchen knife in the world 圧倒的不審者の極み! 5,246,153 views 2 months ago sharpest Aluminium foil kitchen knife in the world 圧倒的不審者の極み! 4,598,865 views 3 months ago synthicyde: karpad: darkbookworm13: feedmecomicart: webbut: seelcudoom: transgirlnausicaa: durbikins: Counter Strike: Global Offensive this guys videos are fucking incredible i really want everyone to watch them this man is like midas but with knives instead of gold, he can make anything a knife, sicssor knives ,ice knives, cardboard knives, tiny knives if it can be made into a knife he will do it, and if he cant, he will do it anyway because fuck you This doesn’t even have the best one. One time he made a knife out of ravioli then proceeded to use the knife made out of ravioli to cut up cheese and tomatoes and basil and shit then took the ravioli knife that he had used to cut up his other ingredients and cooked said knife with those ingredients and ate the fucking knife! ate the fucking knife nah, his best one? he made a knife out of smoke. You know how to sharpen smoke? this guy does. Let’s not forget everything else in his videos. The googly eyes he puts on things His cow jugs The empty fridge that only contains Jack Daniels Chocolate That one time a bear figurine possessed with a demon would attack him if he didn’t pet it so he had to build a machine that constantly rolled the bear against brushes so he would be safe long enough to finish the knife
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