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Apparently, Asian, and Ass: File: hooka jpg (86 KB, 620x465) Anonymous (ID: ak8UhFLQ 10/28/14(Tue)23:29:45 No.576373696 Story time /b/ >be me >be sophomore in college >spring break >decide to go to San Francisco with a few of my bros this one buddy, we ll cal do would do iust about anything for a laugh >In San Francis co after an awful red-eye flight. >Go clubbing every night, having the time of our lives >Eventually our trip was coming to a close, and we only had a couple more days left in San Fran >Decide to go clubbing again, for the third night in a row >After a few hours of clubbing we were pretty freaking inebriated >Finally decide to wander back to our hotel for the night Begin to stumble back to the hotel, having a great fucking time We are suddenly approached by one a San Fran's finest >We are not interested in acquiring vanareal diseases from a crack whore, continue to walk >As we were about to walk by, this hooker said something that I'll never be able to forget >"I'll bet each of you boys ten dollars that you can't shit on my face" >Dave immediately takes her up on the offer, me and the rest of my friends are too drunk to care >Hooker takes us all down to an alley, then proceeds to lay down with her face upwards frighteningly emaciated meth addict hooker. Anonymous (ID: ak8UhFLQ 10/28/14(Tue)23: 30 :33 No.576373816 »576374049 >cont. Okay try to shit on my face" goes Dave pulls his pants down and exposes his bare ass >Just as he's about to pinch a log off onto this meth addict whore's forehead, she blows on his asshole shole immediately shrivels up like a dehydrated rais in, Dave literally can not shit on her face >I stand over her face, knowing that my ten dollars is at stake >I squeeze my bowels like I've never squeezed them before, and I begin to feel a massive shit log stirring within me >I had gained confidence, this was my shining moment Just as I felt the tip of my shit touching the ring on my asshole, a great wind swept up from the prostitute's mouth and instantly closed the gates of my sphincter Just as Dave had failed before me, I was unnsuccessful in my quest >Hooker proceeds to do the same to each of my friends, not a single one of us can shit on her face >Hooker collects sixty bucks, and we finish our journey back to the hotel defeated >All of my friends and I quickly forget the experience, except for Dave >Dave becomes legitimately angy that he wasn't able to shit on the hooker's face >Keeps talking about how much he wants his money back >whatever.gif >Next day plane leaves the next moming, So this night was our last in San Francisco >We decide to go around and eat dinner at the cheapest restaurant we can find (after losing our money to the hooker, we decided not to spend much) Find this nasty "chinese" buffet >Eat a fuckton of food, tons of really spicy stuff Anonymous (ID: ak8UhFLQ 10/28/14(Tue)23:32: 03 No.576374040 cont >Decide to go back to the hotel to chill and start packing >We get back to the Hotel, and a look of pure malice crosses Dave's face "We're going to get our money back" >Apparently the chinese buffet was beginning to have a serious affect on Dave >Dave runs out of the hotel to go find the hooker from the night before >Friends and I have no choice but to follow >Dave doubles over in stomach pain, still running with the feriocity and determination of a tigress hunting her prey ie begins to groan and fart loadly, running even faster than before >Sure ve >Dave groans through clenched teeth "We want to try and shit on your face again, double or nothing" >Hooker agrees Takes us back to the same place as before, and lays in the same position >Dave stands over her face asI remain transfixed with anticipation the same meth head prostitute is stading at the same corner 2Anonymous (ID: ak8UhFLQ) 10/28/14(Tue)23: 33: 13 No.576374230 >cont >Before the hooker even had time to purse her lips in preparation of closing Dave's sphincter, he began to release an unholy anal terror the likes of which no man should ever witness >Dave lets out a defeaning warcry as legions of liquid shit spew forth from between his fiercly vibrating asscheeks >The hooker's screams of utter terror slowly become muffled as legendary proportions of post-digested spicy asian buffet cover her face and chest >The shit continues to flow forth as the floodgates of hell remain open >Hooker attempts to protect her already scat-buried face with her hands, which are quickly pushed back by the force of Dave's anal explosion >Finally, Dave's ass slowly putters and flarps itself to sleep >Dave turns around, bare ass quivering from the after affects of what can only be compared to a nuclear blast in order to assess the damage >The Hooker is literally covered from head to toe in shit, with a smell reminiscient of the prison cells in Auschwitz She's not even moving anymore, she just lays still, put into shock by the force of Dave's shit >Dave turns to us with a serious expression on his face, bare ass still exposed "Holy fuck I've killed her" >The pavement around the hookers head is also drenched in shit, giving the appearence of a grotes que brown halo >Dave quickly pulls his pants back up, and we all sprint away from the alley Still don't know what happened to that hooker, or if she even survived the breeze Dave shits on a hooker
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Jordan, Lightning, and Old: CO! Mde 93 My 2 month old son Jordan (with his lightning bolt shaped birthmark on his forehead) chilling with our dog Buffy.

My 2 month old son Jordan (with his lightning bolt shaped birthmark on his forehead) chilling with our dog Buffy.

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Fucking, Funny, and Minecraft: THE THAD JERMA985 The Chad General Sam The Virgin "Gaming Youtuber" Sleek combed back hair Has a massive amount of references that rivals Has not dyed his hair Dyed his hair green Tiny feminine nose Can livestream for 14 hours Humongous jew nose even JoJo in quantity straight without more than a 5 minute break in hilarity (pee break) Jawline crafted by Ancient Greek sculptor Small forehead His merch is exceedingly stupid looking His merch always iooks Has an entire cinematic universe fucking awesome Plays niche games, plays currently popular games on occasion HUGE forehead based around him Never gets a sponsor Begs for likes Doesn't beg for iikes (doesn't need to) Beat Dark Souls 3 ON STREAM Every other video gets a sponsor Father to the most adorable dog on twitch Videos are consistently high qualrty Only picys popular games for maximum revinue Videos are extremely low quality Beat Jevil FIRST TRY Owns a world famous wrestling federation featuring world famous people as fighters such as Captain Crunch, Gabe Newell, and PacMan Plays whatever the hell he wants Has never even heard of Does not have a OST for his videos Hos a bunch of really good songs playing during his vids Fortnite, did a Minecraft let's-play BEFORE it was Cool Is still a virgin Videos are obvIOusly designed for toddlers Neglects his daughter Audience rates his jokes in real time so he is able to perfect his comedy Is highly entertaining Moved to Las Vegas from Boston via hot-air balloon Giggles like a fucking infant WHEEZE Makes a racist joke: Has a very dedicated fanbase; vids always get Has 10 million+ subs: barely Makes tons of racist jokes but their always funny unfunny and ruins hundreds of thousands of vews cracks 50k views per vid his career The Virgin Gaming Youtuber VS The Chad General Sam VS The Thad Jerma985 (original by u/spicyasice)
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