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Ass, Fucking, and Future: fckin-deactivated20171107 I'm thinking about her ghettoinuyasha forbidden fruit saacmemes Why do grown ass adults want to eat Tide pods so much? kitswulf Because a ton of the visual/olfactory/ textural sensory information these pods give me the match nutritionally-dense fruit. It's got the oleic gleam of something high-fat like an avocado, but bright carotenoid-rich coloration like a berry that wants to be eaten by red seeing primates and birds. It tends to smell sweet and slightly floral, enhancing that effect. Similarly, when you hold it, it is quite dense (denser than water), but very soft and liquid, once again reaffirming that this "fruit" has either high sugar or high fat content and almost no cellulose to it. As a result, within me is a less-clever monkey just screaming to eat this delicious fruit in my hand about to go into the laundry, and it does in fact take willpower to tell him he's a stupid monkey and this is a bubble of foul- tasting poison. But every time I do laundry, this fucking limbic monstrosity rises again and assures me it's basically like a cherry but Even Better. I have legitimately debated just biting down on one in the hopes of inducing a deterrent memory to forestall this urge in the future, but that's what my goddamn mammal-brain wants me to fucking do and I refuse to let it win. ciphercoyote Human Brain: Don't eat the posion pod its fucking posion Monkey Brain: Eat the fruit pod its fruit Lizard Brain: The Washing Machine Is Vibrating Give It The Sex Fish Brain: Climb inside the washing machine it is safe 184,928 notes the forbidden fruit
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Ass, Fucking, and Head: MEMO: ALL EMPLOYEES It has been brought to the attention of Management that some individuals have been using foul language in the course of normal conversation between employees. Due to complaints from some of the more easily offended workers, this conduct will no longer be tolerated. The Management does, however, realize the importance of each person being able to express their feelings when communicating with their fellow employees. Therefore, the Management has compiled the following coded list. It is imperative that all employees understand and memorize the code phases so the proper exchange of ideas and information can continue. NEW PHRASE OLD PHRASE No Fucking Way You've got to be shitting me. Tell someone who gives a Fuck. Ask me if I give a Fuck. It's not my Fucking problem. What the Fuck Fuck it. It won't work. Why the Fuck didn't they tell me this sooner. When the Fuck do they expect me to do this? Who the Fuck cares? He's got his head up his ass Eat shit Eat shit and die. Eat shit and die Motherfucker What the Fuck do they want from me? Kiss my ass. This job sucks. Who the hell died and made you boss? Blow me. I'm not certain that's feasible Really? Perhaps you should check with... Of course I'm concerned. wasn't involved with that project. Interesting behavior I'm not sure I can implement this. I'll try to schedule that. Perhaps I can work late. Are you sure it is a problem? He's not familiar with this problem. You don't say. Excuse me? Excuse me, sir? They weren't happy with it? So you'd like my help with it. I love a challenge. You want me to take care of this? l see Excuse me, sir? (i.redd.it)
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Ass, Fucking, and Future: phoqueboi junkirat fckin I'm thinking about her ghettoinuyasha forbidden fruit isaacmemes Why do grown ass adults want to eat Tide pods so much? kitswulf Because a ton of the visual/olfactory/textural sensory information these pods give me the match nutritionally-dense fruit. It's got the oleic gleam of something high-fat like arn avocado, but bright carotenoid-rich coloration like a berry that wants to be eaten by red- seeing primates and birds. It tends to smell sweet and slightly floral, enhancing that effect. Similarly, when you hold it, it is quite dense (denser than water), but very soft and liquid, once again reaffirming that this "fruit" has either high sugar or high fat content and almost no cellulose to it. As a result, within me is a less-clever monkey just screaming to eat this delicious fruit in my hand about to go into the laundry, and it does in fact take willpower to tell him he's a stupid monkey and this is a bubble of foul tasting poison. But every time I do laundry, this fucking limbic monstrosity rises again and assures me it's basically like a cherry but Even Better. I have legitimately debated just biting down on one in the hopes of inducing a deterrent memory to forestall this urge in the future, but that's what my goddamn mammal- brain wants me to fucking do and I refuse to let it win ciphercoyote Human Brain: Don't eat the posion pod its fucking posion Monkey Brain: Eat the fruit pod its fruit Lizard Brain: The Washing Machine Is Vibrating Give It The Sex Fish Brain: Climb inside the washing machine it is safe. The Forbidden Fruit
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Ass, Fucking, and Head: TO ALL EMPLOYEES It has been brought to the management's attention that some individuals have been using foul language in the course of normal conversation between employees. Due to complaints from some of the easily offended workers, this conduct will no longer be tolerated. The management does, however, realise the importance of each person being able to properly express their feelings when communicating with their fellow employees. Therefore, the management has compiled the following code phrases so that the proper exchange of ideas and information can continue. OLD PHRASE NEW PHRASE I'm not certain that's feasible. No fucking way You've got to be shitting me. Tell someone who gives a fuck Ask me if I give a fuck. Really Perhaps you should check with <name>, . Of course I'm concerned. I wasn't involved in that project. . I'm not sure I can implement this. Are you sure it's a problem? Interesting behaviour. Fuck it, it won't work... When the fuck do you expect me to do this. He's got his head up his ass........ Why the fuck didn't you tell me that sooner..I'Il try to schedule that. ..Perhaps I can work late. He's not familiar with the problem. ..You don't say. Eat shit and die, motherfucker.... What the fuck do they want from my life?. Excuse me, <sir or ma'am>? They weren't happy with it? Kiss my ass.. Fuck it, I'm on salary.. So you'd like my help with that? andrea-booksdreams: loquacious-lucy: nkoatsumeme: alien-fricker: tag yourself i’m ask me if i give a fuck It’s not my fucking problem im what the fuck do they want from my life Kiss my ass Fuck it, it wont work
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Ass, Fucking, and Head: likeigiveabotherwiningisforgrapes Follow TO ALL EMPLOYEES It has been brought to the management's attention that some individuals have been using foul language in the course of normal conversation between employees. Due to complaints from some of the easily offended workers, this conduct will no longer be tolerated. The management does, however, realise the importance of each person being able to properly express their feelings when communicating with their fellow employees. Therefore, the management has compiled the following code phrases so that the proper exchange of ideas and information can continue. OLD PHRASE NEW PHRASE I'm not certain that's feasible. Really Perhaps you should check with <name>, Of course I'm concerned. You've got to be shitting m... Tell someone who gives a fuck.. Ask me if I give a fuck. It's not my fucking problem. wasn't involved in that project. Interesting behaviour What the fuck?. Fuck it, it won't work.. Why the fuck didn't you tell me that sooner'lI try to schedule that. When the fuck do you expect me to do this ?..... Perhaps can work late Who the fuck cares?. I'm not sure I can implement this. Are you sure it's a problem? He's got his head up his ass. He's not familiar with the problem. You dont say Eat shit and die..... Excuse me? Eat shit and die, motherfucker What the fuck do they want from my life? Excuse me, <sir or ma'am>? They weren't happy with it? Kiss my ass.. Fuck it, I'm on salary So you'd like my help with that? alien-fricker tag yourself i'm ask me if i give a fuck Interesting behaviour.
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