Fresh Start
Fresh Start

Fresh Start

Bladee
Bladee

Bladee

momentous
momentous

momentous

homely
homely

homely

complicated
complicated

complicated

feelings
feelings

feelings

brat
brat

brat

nighty
nighty

nighty

hanged
hanged

hanged

comming
comming

comming

πŸ”₯ | Latest

Bless Up, Bruh, and Doctor: me: *sees a 150lb dog* me: awww da little puppyyy @DrSmashlove I'm at an age now where if the homies wanna go out to eat and the restaurant ain't got a southwest chicken salad imma strongly consider not going. Like I'm just being honest. It's a small menu addition. Give me some lettuce grilled chicken corn and tortilla skrips and I'm good money. That's a restaurant I like. U know what restaurants I don't like? Ones that don't have a southwest chicken salad πŸ˜‚. Like cmon! This shit easy bruh! "But smash that's unreasonable what if it's a sushi spot." Well now hol up for a second hol up. When I hit Blue Ribbon Sushi in Miami Beach they got the fried chicken on deck. I was hesitant to mix sushi and fried chicken but low key? Shit was fire. And other sushi joints be doing the sashimi tacos. If y'all gon do soul food and Mexican fusion food then FUCK AROUND AND MAKE ME A SOUTHWEST CHICKEN SALAD DAMMIT πŸ˜„. Because sometimes I have those days where I didn't work out and I meet the homies for food and I didn't earn a big fatty cheat meal but I still want something satisfying and reasonably healthy. I want that southwest. Mother. Fucking. Chicken. Salad πŸ€—. U restaurants been put on notice. If u become one of them restaurants that's part of the 90% that fail in the first year of they existence don't DM me like "smash what did I do wrong I served delicious authentic coastal Greek food focusing on fresh wild-caught fish prepared in light olive oil and we had a great first week but then...?" My first question gon be whether u had a southwest chicken salad? THOUGHT NOT. ALL THE DOCTOR CAN DO IS GIVE YALL THE MEDICINE YALL GOTTA TAKE IT THO BLESS UP πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Bless Up, Bruh, and Doctor: me: *sees a 150lb dog*
 me: awww da little puppyyy
 @DrSmashlove
I'm at an age now where if the homies wanna go out to eat and the restaurant ain't got a southwest chicken salad imma strongly consider not going. Like I'm just being honest. It's a small menu addition. Give me some lettuce grilled chicken corn and tortilla skrips and I'm good money. That's a restaurant I like. U know what restaurants I don't like? Ones that don't have a southwest chicken salad πŸ˜‚. Like cmon! This shit easy bruh! "But smash that's unreasonable what if it's a sushi spot." Well now hol up for a second hol up. When I hit Blue Ribbon Sushi in Miami Beach they got the fried chicken on deck. I was hesitant to mix sushi and fried chicken but low key? Shit was fire. And other sushi joints be doing the sashimi tacos. If y'all gon do soul food and Mexican fusion food then FUCK AROUND AND MAKE ME A SOUTHWEST CHICKEN SALAD DAMMIT πŸ˜„. Because sometimes I have those days where I didn't work out and I meet the homies for food and I didn't earn a big fatty cheat meal but I still want something satisfying and reasonably healthy. I want that southwest. Mother. Fucking. Chicken. Salad πŸ€—. U restaurants been put on notice. If u become one of them restaurants that's part of the 90% that fail in the first year of they existence don't DM me like "smash what did I do wrong I served delicious authentic coastal Greek food focusing on fresh wild-caught fish prepared in light olive oil and we had a great first week but then...?" My first question gon be whether u had a southwest chicken salad? THOUGHT NOT. ALL THE DOCTOR CAN DO IS GIVE YALL THE MEDICINE YALL GOTTA TAKE IT THO BLESS UP πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

I'm at an age now where if the homies wanna go out to eat and the restaurant ain't got a southwest chicken salad imma strongly consider not ...

Ass, Bless Up, and Bones: im on a dinner date what do i say shes so cute im so nervous Now see bruh women like to test men. Part of they mission on this earth is to set occasional bear traps for us to see what we say. A big part of being a successful grown ass man is SEEING the traps and walking AROUND them ☺️. One obvious trap is "do I look fat in this?" But that's a easy one. Like if u can't pass that test that's God telling u that u ain't ready for a grown woman yet and u need training wheels for a few more years before u get to that level of bicycle ridery lol. But see some bear traps are trickier. My favorite one is when u talking to a girl in her mid 30s and she hit u with that throwback pic from when she was 20: "OMG lol this came up on Facebook". MEN. STOP. BE CAREFUL. THIS SHIT LOOK INNOCUOUS BUT ISSA BOWL OF HONEY INSIDE A STEEL LEG TRAP THAT'S GON CLOSE ON U AND CRUNCH YO MF BONES UP, LISTEN. Here go the WRONG answer: "LOL HOLY FUCK! There go baby Kim! Lil 20 year old Kim lookin just about fine as FUCK! Look at them titties! Lookin all perky and shit! U prolly ain even need a bra for them miracle titties lol! And them thighs! Thick but no dimples on em FUCK. Look at that smile! Braces fresh off lookin like a LICK! LOL 20 YEAR OLD KIM COULD GET IT!!" Oh no. Oh hell no. *grandmotherly black dude voice* OH NO BAYBEH WHAT IZZU DOIN, LAWWWD BAYBEH. πŸ˜‚ Here's how she gon reply: "πŸ˜–", "k", "ew", "wow". U feel me? "Jeez". U GAVE THE WRONG FUCKING ANSWER BRUH. Lemme give u the RIGHT answer: "aw cute. You done glo'd the FUCK up tho - safe to say I met you at the perfect time 😍". Ok? That's a bear who saw the trap, did a small bear trap dance, danced around it, and lived to walk (and run! And dance!) another day. Ok? Copy and paste this response DON'T GET CREATIVE AND PUT IT IN YOUR "own voice" I DON'T TRUST YALL Bless up πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Ass, Bless Up, and Bones: im on a dinner date what do i say shes
 so cute im so nervous
Now see bruh women like to test men. Part of they mission on this earth is to set occasional bear traps for us to see what we say. A big part of being a successful grown ass man is SEEING the traps and walking AROUND them ☺️. One obvious trap is "do I look fat in this?" But that's a easy one. Like if u can't pass that test that's God telling u that u ain't ready for a grown woman yet and u need training wheels for a few more years before u get to that level of bicycle ridery lol. But see some bear traps are trickier. My favorite one is when u talking to a girl in her mid 30s and she hit u with that throwback pic from when she was 20: "OMG lol this came up on Facebook". MEN. STOP. BE CAREFUL. THIS SHIT LOOK INNOCUOUS BUT ISSA BOWL OF HONEY INSIDE A STEEL LEG TRAP THAT'S GON CLOSE ON U AND CRUNCH YO MF BONES UP, LISTEN. Here go the WRONG answer: "LOL HOLY FUCK! There go baby Kim! Lil 20 year old Kim lookin just about fine as FUCK! Look at them titties! Lookin all perky and shit! U prolly ain even need a bra for them miracle titties lol! And them thighs! Thick but no dimples on em FUCK. Look at that smile! Braces fresh off lookin like a LICK! LOL 20 YEAR OLD KIM COULD GET IT!!" Oh no. Oh hell no. *grandmotherly black dude voice* OH NO BAYBEH WHAT IZZU DOIN, LAWWWD BAYBEH. πŸ˜‚ Here's how she gon reply: "πŸ˜–", "k", "ew", "wow". U feel me? "Jeez". U GAVE THE WRONG FUCKING ANSWER BRUH. Lemme give u the RIGHT answer: "aw cute. You done glo'd the FUCK up tho - safe to say I met you at the perfect time 😍". Ok? That's a bear who saw the trap, did a small bear trap dance, danced around it, and lived to walk (and run! And dance!) another day. Ok? Copy and paste this response DON'T GET CREATIVE AND PUT IT IN YOUR "own voice" I DON'T TRUST YALL Bless up πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Now see bruh women like to test men. Part of they mission on this earth is to set occasional bear traps for us to see what we say. A big par...