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πŸ”₯ | Latest

Ass, Best Friend, and Bitch: 4 month old German Shepherd DrSmashlove Bruh. This morning I seen two horrifying things. Horrifying. Just...unspeakably terrifying. First: I seen a Honda Civic race to the scene of an accident with police lights on the dash. Second: I seen a cop in a blue Chrysler minivan. A BLUE CHRYSLER MINIVAN. Nah, Bruh. Hell nah. They cat fishing us. They cat fishing us real, real hard. This is a whole new level of cat fish. It used to be that all u had to do was keep your eyes peeled for a white Chevy Caprice. Then they got white Ford Explorers. But Japanese cars? And family cars? This is rocket science level cat fishing. Bruh. This is like if I walk into a club wearing high heels and some sexy ass blond in a Valentino dress and some python skin Saint Laurent heels come up to me like "ooh bitch nice heels!" And I'm like "you too biiiiiiiitch! πŸ’…" and she thinks she made a gay best friend that night and she come home with me and she get in bed wearing only La Perla panties (I know how y'all sexy girls do, y'all love sleepovers with your gay bestie) and my PP sticking straight into the atmosphere like a flag pole and she just like "smash?" And I'm like "yes, biiiiiiiiitch? πŸ’‹" and she's like "I thought you were gay(?)" and I'm like "nah baby girl I just like to wear heels sometimes to explore my feminine side and break out of constricting gender norms but now that we're in bed together let's get acquainted 😍." THAT level cat fish πŸ˜‚. Nah but for real y'all cops savages. Stop this cat fishing. Y'all foul for that. A brother can't even speed no more! I got places to go! Smash got board meetings to attend! Let a brother speed! Fuck!! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Ass, Best Friend, and Bitch: 4 month old German Shepherd
 DrSmashlove
Bruh. This morning I seen two horrifying things. Horrifying. Just...unspeakably terrifying. First: I seen a Honda Civic race to the scene of an accident with police lights on the dash. Second: I seen a cop in a blue Chrysler minivan. A BLUE CHRYSLER MINIVAN. Nah, Bruh. Hell nah. They cat fishing us. They cat fishing us real, real hard. This is a whole new level of cat fish. It used to be that all u had to do was keep your eyes peeled for a white Chevy Caprice. Then they got white Ford Explorers. But Japanese cars? And family cars? This is rocket science level cat fishing. Bruh. This is like if I walk into a club wearing high heels and some sexy ass blond in a Valentino dress and some python skin Saint Laurent heels come up to me like "ooh bitch nice heels!" And I'm like "you too biiiiiiiitch! πŸ’…" and she thinks she made a gay best friend that night and she come home with me and she get in bed wearing only La Perla panties (I know how y'all sexy girls do, y'all love sleepovers with your gay bestie) and my PP sticking straight into the atmosphere like a flag pole and she just like "smash?" And I'm like "yes, biiiiiiiiitch? πŸ’‹" and she's like "I thought you were gay(?)" and I'm like "nah baby girl I just like to wear heels sometimes to explore my feminine side and break out of constricting gender norms but now that we're in bed together let's get acquainted 😍." THAT level cat fish πŸ˜‚. Nah but for real y'all cops savages. Stop this cat fishing. Y'all foul for that. A brother can't even speed no more! I got places to go! Smash got board meetings to attend! Let a brother speed! Fuck!! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Bruh. This morning I seen two horrifying things. Horrifying. Just...unspeakably terrifying. First: I seen a Honda Civic race to the scene of...

Birthday, Bless Up, and Blessed: Dogs in flower crowns @Dr Smashlove So my lil homegirl texted me about this clown who drove her home after her birthday party and wanted a Nobel Prize for not trying to get an invite upstairs. His text to her friend: "People like her don't appreciate a man who shows her respect. And then the next minute will be the girl who's like, wow, he wasn't just trying to fvck me, he was actually really nice lol." Men, imma tell u something that may not be intuitive. Y'all ready? Listen close. She. Don't. Owe. You. SHIIIIIIIIIT πŸ˜‚. Y'all love coming up with these scenarios: "Well, she don't want me, God bless her. When she wakes up at age 40 surrounded by six cats and no man she'll wish she gave me a chance." Let me tell you three things she gonna be thinking at age 40: (1) "Wow am I sexy. 40 looks good!" (2) "Wow, my sex drive is crazy at age 40! Lemme see if smash is available to beat the brakes off this lil Punani tonight ☺️." (3) "Bees are dying at an alarming rate πŸ€”." Lemme tell u what she's NOT thinking: "Wow, Terrence was so kind to me for not trying to bang me. I should have married him and had his children. I am now fraught with regret. What am I to do 😒." She. Don't. Owe. You. SHIIIIIIIIIT 😍. Ya get me? Y'all should be respectful to ALL women. ALL. Not some. ALL. "What if she a hoe lol." STOP CALLING WOMEN HOES HOWBOW DAH. (See? That was a trick question 😘). Once u realize no woman owes u shit, you'll start to keep it G, not be so damn thirsty, and not come to expect anything from women. And watch how your life changes for the better. Ya get me! Bless up πŸ™ŒπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Birthday, Bless Up, and Blessed: Dogs in flower crowns
 @Dr Smashlove
So my lil homegirl texted me about this clown who drove her home after her birthday party and wanted a Nobel Prize for not trying to get an invite upstairs. His text to her friend: "People like her don't appreciate a man who shows her respect. And then the next minute will be the girl who's like, wow, he wasn't just trying to fvck me, he was actually really nice lol." Men, imma tell u something that may not be intuitive. Y'all ready? Listen close. She. Don't. Owe. You. SHIIIIIIIIIT πŸ˜‚. Y'all love coming up with these scenarios: "Well, she don't want me, God bless her. When she wakes up at age 40 surrounded by six cats and no man she'll wish she gave me a chance." Let me tell you three things she gonna be thinking at age 40: (1) "Wow am I sexy. 40 looks good!" (2) "Wow, my sex drive is crazy at age 40! Lemme see if smash is available to beat the brakes off this lil Punani tonight ☺️." (3) "Bees are dying at an alarming rate πŸ€”." Lemme tell u what she's NOT thinking: "Wow, Terrence was so kind to me for not trying to bang me. I should have married him and had his children. I am now fraught with regret. What am I to do 😒." She. Don't. Owe. You. SHIIIIIIIIIT 😍. Ya get me? Y'all should be respectful to ALL women. ALL. Not some. ALL. "What if she a hoe lol." STOP CALLING WOMEN HOES HOWBOW DAH. (See? That was a trick question 😘). Once u realize no woman owes u shit, you'll start to keep it G, not be so damn thirsty, and not come to expect anything from women. And watch how your life changes for the better. Ya get me! Bless up πŸ™ŒπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

So my lil homegirl texted me about this clown who drove her home after her birthday party and wanted a Nobel Prize for not trying to get an ...