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dynastylnoire: writernotwaiting: hellenhighwater: astolen98saturnsedan: luadell: thisnewdevilry: sputnikcentury: teapotsahoy: lovedsomuch: warsfeils: anubituf: harukami: last-snowfall: weareallmedie: firedanceryote: reptila-tequila: qeilla: thefreckledavantgardegoober: mysticmisfit89: Meanwhile, in prehistoric Canada….. No no, you don’t understand, moose really do get that big. Take it from a Canadian. I’ve seen that bullshit in person. Scary as all heck. And that’s how people can die if they hit a moose. Seriously, one of our fears when driving in the country is having to deal with this scenario of a moose jumping out in front of the car. moose are actual legit ice age megafauna; theyve been here since the ice age, they are old as fuck. they also are pretty terrifying and ive echoed this before but i went to wiki and “In terms of raw numbers, they attack more people than bears and wolves combined” and “ In the Americas, moose injure more people than any other wild mammal and, worldwide, only hippopotamuses injure more.” like, fuck off with that I was dog sitting a dog once who insisted she had to go out in the middle of the night it was an emergency, so I took her out. Suddenly she starts pointing and barking and I look up and can just make out the outline of a HUGE moose. I’ve been accidentally face to face with a black bear and that scared me less than being up close with a moose. I’m 5 foot so imagine staring up at an animal several feet taller than you that is debating charging the dog who’s leash you are holding. I was terrified as I grabbed the dog by her collar to get better control over her and backed up slowly til I was out of line of sight and bolted for the house at a dead run. Did you know most Canadian lake monster stories come from people seeing moose swimming? They are massive animals. They are massive and they charge. I get so scared when tourists are all “oh yeah, we got out of the car to get a closer look and, ya’ll have some mighty impressive animals around here.”Yes, yes we do, and they have mighty tired guardian angels because moose can, and do, charge at people. Someone my mom worked with died hitting a moose on the highway. Their eyes don’t reflect light. In the dark they are literally nothing but a big slightly darker shape in the night. Roughly every year in the town I grew up in, a cow (moose) and her calf will wander through downtown. Maybe once or twice. If she’s aggressive enough, the local Mounties will escort her through to keep idiots away. I’ve definitely talked with people who thought moose were deer-sized or maybe horse-sized and I was like NO YOU DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND MOOSE ARE TERRIFYING Moose are terrifying, you guys. I finally live on a province where moose and deer exist. I do not drive at night in fear of meeting one. If you hit a moose going 90 on a highway, not only is your car trashed, you are probably trashed. I’ve seen cars that got wrecked and there seems to be a consensus that at least half the time, the giant fucking beastie just shakes itself off and continues gallumphing along the countryside. If you fucking hit a moose with your car and their legs go through your windshield, congratulations, you are dead. Massive hooves kicking you to death? Yeah.  Moose are fucking terrifying. Bull moose won’t fuck with you too much unless you fuck with them, but the time a bull moose casually swaggered his way past 7 year old me when I was sledding literally put me off winter sports for a solid month.  Momma moose and their babies, though? I legitimately had to call in to work to be like “ey yo there is a moose in my driveway and I can’t get out” AND MY MANAGERS UNDERSTOOD. Moose. MOOSE. I have to admit I thought they were like a Canadian deer before this. The commenter above who claims that moose’s eyes don’t reflect light is only partially correct; if you shine a flashlight in a moose’s eyes it will glow like a cat (and then you will probably get killed to death by an annoyed moose) but the reason they are so dangerous to cars at nights is that they are too tall for the headlights to reach. Think about that. Moose confirmed for actual kaiju. Kaiju category: Maple.   Now I kinda want a kaiju movie set in Canada where it’s just a moose. Like a regular moose but more aggressive. @ssalogel For scale, a female african elephant is 7.2-8.5 feet at the shoulder, according to Wikipedia. A moose is  4.6 – 6.9 ft. at the shoulder. So instead of thinking “This animal is a bit bigger than a deer” you can think “This animal is barely smaller than an elephant” And they can run up to 40 miles per hour A 16 wheeler with fur : dynastylnoire: writernotwaiting: hellenhighwater: astolen98saturnsedan: luadell: thisnewdevilry: sputnikcentury: teapotsahoy: lovedsomuch: warsfeils: anubituf: harukami: last-snowfall: weareallmedie: firedanceryote: reptila-tequila: qeilla: thefreckledavantgardegoober: mysticmisfit89: Meanwhile, in prehistoric Canada….. No no, you don’t understand, moose really do get that big. Take it from a Canadian. I’ve seen that bullshit in person. Scary as all heck. And that’s how people can die if they hit a moose. Seriously, one of our fears when driving in the country is having to deal with this scenario of a moose jumping out in front of the car. moose are actual legit ice age megafauna; theyve been here since the ice age, they are old as fuck. they also are pretty terrifying and ive echoed this before but i went to wiki and “In terms of raw numbers, they attack more people than bears and wolves combined” and “ In the Americas, moose injure more people than any other wild mammal and, worldwide, only hippopotamuses injure more.” like, fuck off with that I was dog sitting a dog once who insisted she had to go out in the middle of the night it was an emergency, so I took her out. Suddenly she starts pointing and barking and I look up and can just make out the outline of a HUGE moose. I’ve been accidentally face to face with a black bear and that scared me less than being up close with a moose. I’m 5 foot so imagine staring up at an animal several feet taller than you that is debating charging the dog who’s leash you are holding. I was terrified as I grabbed the dog by her collar to get better control over her and backed up slowly til I was out of line of sight and bolted for the house at a dead run. Did you know most Canadian lake monster stories come from people seeing moose swimming? They are massive animals. They are massive and they charge. I get so scared when tourists are all “oh yeah, we got out of the car to get a closer look and, ya’ll have some mighty impressive animals around here.”Yes, yes we do, and they have mighty tired guardian angels because moose can, and do, charge at people. Someone my mom worked with died hitting a moose on the highway. Their eyes don’t reflect light. In the dark they are literally nothing but a big slightly darker shape in the night. Roughly every year in the town I grew up in, a cow (moose) and her calf will wander through downtown. Maybe once or twice. If she’s aggressive enough, the local Mounties will escort her through to keep idiots away. I’ve definitely talked with people who thought moose were deer-sized or maybe horse-sized and I was like NO YOU DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND MOOSE ARE TERRIFYING Moose are terrifying, you guys. I finally live on a province where moose and deer exist. I do not drive at night in fear of meeting one. If you hit a moose going 90 on a highway, not only is your car trashed, you are probably trashed. I’ve seen cars that got wrecked and there seems to be a consensus that at least half the time, the giant fucking beastie just shakes itself off and continues gallumphing along the countryside. If you fucking hit a moose with your car and their legs go through your windshield, congratulations, you are dead. Massive hooves kicking you to death? Yeah.  Moose are fucking terrifying. Bull moose won’t fuck with you too much unless you fuck with them, but the time a bull moose casually swaggered his way past 7 year old me when I was sledding literally put me off winter sports for a solid month.  Momma moose and their babies, though? I legitimately had to call in to work to be like “ey yo there is a moose in my driveway and I can’t get out” AND MY MANAGERS UNDERSTOOD. Moose. MOOSE. I have to admit I thought they were like a Canadian deer before this. The commenter above who claims that moose’s eyes don’t reflect light is only partially correct; if you shine a flashlight in a moose’s eyes it will glow like a cat (and then you will probably get killed to death by an annoyed moose) but the reason they are so dangerous to cars at nights is that they are too tall for the headlights to reach. Think about that. Moose confirmed for actual kaiju. Kaiju category: Maple.   Now I kinda want a kaiju movie set in Canada where it’s just a moose. Like a regular moose but more aggressive. @ssalogel For scale, a female african elephant is 7.2-8.5 feet at the shoulder, according to Wikipedia. A moose is  4.6 – 6.9 ft. at the shoulder. So instead of thinking “This animal is a bit bigger than a deer” you can think “This animal is barely smaller than an elephant” And they can run up to 40 miles per hour A 16 wheeler with fur
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Don’t do crack kids: Tos pm Telstra 0 Can your job pay trom my crack addiction. Il be your friend or A more if you want to? Only if my repayment is you fuel my crack addiction My address is 122 Thomas St. Dandenong Vic 3175 So how did you want me to sneak in?l assume they've got guards around the place Dress up as a ninja turtle and tell them your here to entertain me And than give me my crack so we can smoke together. I know a place Send Typea esage 705 pm Telstra 0 Okay but which one?1 think if came as the wrong one it' blow our cover Attention to detail is how we pull this off Raphaet Iike em tough Rough Only if I can tie you up using my red face mask smoke your pipe if you do go through with tying me up. And maybe even do more if you play your moves correctly In that case when do you want me there by Tre eage Send Tatatre 40 708 pm 3am wear your best jocks Kidding me?i won't be weanng any Much better expect you to be already undressed when t get there as we may heed to move quickly I only fuck with socks on. Miss me with that gay shit m I can work with that Remember though for payment t need my fair share of your crack I thought your bringing the crack Type mesage Send Teletra 0 106 pm bring the crack But i want your ass as my payment Oh you'll have that in spades Perfect. Sounds lika a fine date to me see you there So who are you really Lmao Some bloke on her tryn to catfish some mother fuckers I'm a Nigerian prince just here to have some fun Typeeage Send Telstre 40 706 pm 12% Must be pretty rich then d Are you actually addicted to crack? Fuck no. Woukdr't even have the taintest of idea of where to get it Are you? I got peer pressured to smoke sum in year 7 haven't been the same since Should definitely see someone bout it Shit fucks your ife up which I'm sure you've found out Ive been clean for about 3 years now but considered doing it A again after my recent break up Tye a meage Send Tatutre 40 708 pm now Dur consIoerea aong it again after my recent break up Nah nah don't do it. 3 years is an accomplishment a lot of peosle dream of achieving Honestly, if that's actualy you in that photo (which r'm highly doubiting nether less), they're missing out big time. Thank you for our conversation. You're a genuine guy and I hope you do find someone who likes you for you. Don't give up on love! Thank you very much, appreciate that Good luck with everything for you ype age Send Don’t do crack kids
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philosophy-and-coffee: vosh-daemon: theangriestlittleunicorn: csdragon: icecreamsandwichcomics: Unfinished comic from a long time ago that wasn’t ever going to be completed. It makes absolutely no sense, but honestly in its current state i think it’s the funniest thing so I’m not adding to it. Anyway. Posting a video later today. Expect that. Anddd uhh yeah see you then. Fred’s got enough problems containing one eldritch beast Hot take: everyone in the gang is some sort of all powerful being, except for Fred, who is just a dude who managed to harness each of them, befriend them, and rope them into helping him live out his dream of solving mysteries! Release them, Fredward Jones. Your hubris will become your undoing…    Hotter take: Freddy doesn’t actually know. The rest of the gang took those mortal forms to fuck with people but they were so endeared by earnest want to solve mysteries and help people that they’re along for the ride. And hey if Shaggy gets bodyslammed hard enough that it should have snapped his spine and he gets up fine after who notices? And if Velma knows things that she shouldn’t know on occasion, things that would have been impossible to notice without some kind of foresight or omniscience- hey, just a coincidence right? And if Daphne conveniently has a medley of strange skills- hey, rich kids are weird, right? It’s not too far fetched for her to have a hobbyist interest fencing, boxing, ballroom dancing, knitting, sewing, modern and antique fashions, and whatever else is relevant to the case at hand.    And as we all know Scooby Doo is canonically related to an elder god anyways. : My alasses! I can see evepthing wthout my glasses VeIma, Stop prepare to be jinkied philosophy-and-coffee: vosh-daemon: theangriestlittleunicorn: csdragon: icecreamsandwichcomics: Unfinished comic from a long time ago that wasn’t ever going to be completed. It makes absolutely no sense, but honestly in its current state i think it’s the funniest thing so I’m not adding to it. Anyway. Posting a video later today. Expect that. Anddd uhh yeah see you then. Fred’s got enough problems containing one eldritch beast Hot take: everyone in the gang is some sort of all powerful being, except for Fred, who is just a dude who managed to harness each of them, befriend them, and rope them into helping him live out his dream of solving mysteries! Release them, Fredward Jones. Your hubris will become your undoing…    Hotter take: Freddy doesn’t actually know. The rest of the gang took those mortal forms to fuck with people but they were so endeared by earnest want to solve mysteries and help people that they’re along for the ride. And hey if Shaggy gets bodyslammed hard enough that it should have snapped his spine and he gets up fine after who notices? And if Velma knows things that she shouldn’t know on occasion, things that would have been impossible to notice without some kind of foresight or omniscience- hey, just a coincidence right? And if Daphne conveniently has a medley of strange skills- hey, rich kids are weird, right? It’s not too far fetched for her to have a hobbyist interest fencing, boxing, ballroom dancing, knitting, sewing, modern and antique fashions, and whatever else is relevant to the case at hand.    And as we all know Scooby Doo is canonically related to an elder god anyways.
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