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Ass, Boner, and Condom: DAW So I don't think those free condoms universities hand out suck as much as guys say they do. Okay, but seriously. If you're ever considering sexy times with a guy and he tells you that he can't wear a condom there is a 100.3% chance that he is a liar, and you should definitely not have sex with him. Don't have sex with liars. Have sex with a cute honest people that bring you ice cream the next morning. Liars do not bring you ice cream. And if they do it's ice cream made of lies. Ice cream made of lies is very emotionally unfulfilling. Don't trust liars or their disease- ridden ice cream. that was the best safe-sex talk ever Why I am suspicious of those who say they got pregnant because a condom "broke.. HAVE ANY OF YOU EVER USED A CONDOM. HAVE ANY OF YOU HAD SEX YOU KNOW NO THING ABOUT CONDOMS. SHUT THE FUCK UP. I'm sick of this shit. Just because a condom has a tensile force high enough to withstand inflation does not mean it can comfortably fit any penis. No one wants latex literally stretched against a boner like it is in this pic. A condom that is too small causes added friction which can lead to the condom tearing. If someone tells you it is too small, you LISTEN. YOU DO NOT HAVE RAW SEX WITH THEM. THAT IS NOT WHATI AM SAYING. YOU GO BUY A MAGNUM. There are even sizes above that. SO NO THERE IS NO EXCUSE TO SAY THATA PERSON CANNOT WEAR ANY CONDOMS BUT THERE ARE PLENTY OF PEOPLE WHO DO NOT FIT IN CERTAIN SIZES. And whoever the fuck said they don't believe condoms break is literally fucking stupid as hell. You didn't even try to think you slut shaming ignorant ass. Condoms do not break from things not fitting in them. They break due to frictional forces without sufficient lubricant and air bubbles trapped in the reservoir tip that push through the latex upon ejaculation. Proper application requires that the tip be pinched to remove this air while it is rolled down the shaft. Very few people know this due to the rampant lack of appropriate sex ed. Proper condom application technique and education is crucial to effective birth control and STI protection. So before you go spouting your ignorant crap, how bout you think about your penised partner and the overall function of a condom and try to spread real education rather than shaming people. Thank you for articulating what most cannot even comprehend. <3 Practice safe sex, guys
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Being Alone, Bitch, and Bruh: l Verizon @ 63% 2:18 AM ll Verizon 63% 2:17 AM l Verizon 2:18 AM 63% i i i Active now 1:51 AM idek you you so fuckin precious when you smile exactly have you ever tried dating a guy though who are you Imao ? yes, i was in a relationship for over a year.i don't see why this is important? you're besst dream no Strings attached bruH why are you in my dms Imao you just haven't met the right guy yet 3 i'm two grades above you idk i know why are you not In my dms how abbout this: what in the fuck because i have a girlfriend that i'm loyal to i'm a nice guy, who would'nt ever cheat on you or beat you i would treat you like a prinsess darling 1 i'm lesbian Imao started a video chat Video chat ended oh it must be overwelming being Message... Message... Message... l Verizon @ 63% 2:18 AM 2:18 AM @ 63% Verizon i i HA i actually thought you were a nice girl but guess not. i would be happy if you got hit buy a bus. fucking stupid dummass whore bitch fucking slut mug asswhole get a life you fucking whore. i was actually nice and didn't ask fir nudes or anything but you it must be overwelming being "lesbian" i know that deep down you want my dick so you can come to my place and we can bang wherever you want women still treat men like shit. no Imao HA typical 5 i can full fil all of your sexual please reply 4 fantasies i'm sorry babey please forgive me i've just been havving a rough day i'm sorry for being mean i already told you i have a girlfriend? do you forgive me? she does'nt have to know no. leave me alone wow not replying now bitch. Message... Message... homophobic “nice guy” thinks i want his dick
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Bodies , Fall, and Family: You guys seemed to like my last one, so here's one more story from my absurdly stupid childhood. When I was a kid, my aunt worked as a mortician. She'd embalm bodies, put makeup on them, dress them, etc. When I was 3 or 4, it just so happened that she ended up getting a job at the cemetery where most of our family is buried. So when we would go to leave flowers and clean the family headstones, we'd stop by to visit her while she took a break from work. So one day she and my mom are sharing a cigarette and chit-chatting, and my older brother and I are running around the cemetery like dickheads, because when you're a kid a cemetery looks an awful lot like a park. Up ahead, among a row of headstones, I see a blue tarp pulled tight across the grass, with a wooden stake through each corner and into the grass to keep it anchored. To my childish mind, this looked an awful lot like a trampoline. What kid doesn't love trampolines? Naturally I break into a full sprint, launch my body as high as my little legs could muster, and aim my feet at the center of that tarp, hoping to bounce high into the sky. Much to my surprise, the tarp gives way, and instead of bouncing high into the sky, I keep falling. And falling. And falling. Until, with an abrupt thud, I finally strike earth. The tarp had been covering a freshly-dug grave, and I was now 6 feet under. I distinctly remember looking straight up through teary eyes and seeing a perfect rectangle of clear blue sky, surrounded by four earthen walls. The groundskeeper soon arrived with a ladder to pull me out, and my mom gave me the spanking of a lifetime shortly thereafter. But the best part was, the long fall and hard impact had blackened both my eyes, so for the next week or two when we'd go to the grocery store or to the park, people would ask me why I had two black eyes, and as my surely-cringing mom looked on, I would proudly proclaim "I fell in a grave!" Man, I've never gotten so many side-eyes and judge-y glances as I did then. fucking stupid. So again, just to reiterate, kids, including myself 25+ years ago, are Another strange but true tale from my childhood, bois
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Amazon, Bruh, and Drunk: omeg 183K Unpause Omegler anguage Like 18 Change Greeting line now You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You both like captain marvel. Stranger: But what if...you actually had something to say You: Bruh, I'm just trying to enjoy my salad Stranger: Then, why are you here to "talk" to people? You: Just waiting for a good roleplay prompt Stranger: l'd bet money that you can't roleplay. You:..based on what evidence...? Stranger: The fact that you are on here waiting for a "good roleplay prompt" proving that you have no idea what roleplaying even is. Stranger: https://discord.gg/uCx5nx You: yeah no bud, not happening Stranger: Prove me wrong. Win an Amazon gift card. You: Says every scammer ever Stranger: Yup, that super untrustworthy site called Discord. You: Lol, angry little incel Stranger: Says the loser that thinks roleplaying is begging for pretend sex You: Imean, you said it fam Stranger: Because you want it You: he who smelt it Stranger: Except that anyone who says anything sexual immediately gets banned from my room because that's not even remotely close to roleplaying and you'd know that if you knew anything about roleplaying and weren't just a loser that despises the existence of women and thinks people will like him because he put in a popular tag you know literally nothing about. You: ..I'm a female Stranger: And you still hate women Stranger: You only "like" Captain Marvel because you saw a movie that treats women like crap. You: Nice pivot Stranger: I knew you were going to throw a hissy fit and claim you were a woman because that's what you trolls do. You seem to think you can't be sexist because you're a woman which is incredibly fucking stupid. Stranger: If that was true, Captain Marvel wouldn't have been a sexist as fuck movie. Stranger: Wonder Woman wouldn't have been a sexist movie Stranger: Jessica Jones wouldn't have been sexist. Stranger: And you wouldn't be here because you wouldn't claim to like a character just because they're a woman even though she's one of the worst Captain Marvels. You: Keep goin' incel I've got more salad Stranger: How am I an incel? I'm not the loser who thinks that roleplaying is about being a pathetic loser begging for someone to like you. You: I mean, there you go putting it out there again Stranger: I really don't understand why you trolls come here. You: To enjoy my salad Stranger: And you enjoy your salad by begging people to like you because you can name things that are popular but that you know nothing about? Stranger: Why don't you just find something you do like and can talk to people about Stranger: Then you might GASP! make a friend and you might GASP! not want to kill yourself because no one likes you You: You mean like...typing thingss I like into the tags section of this site...? Stranger: Yes, instead of typing something you think is popular and that people will like you for just because you typed it out Stranger: It's really quite sad. You put in a Captain Marvel tag without knowing anything about Captain Marvel Stranger: You're so dumb you think Carol Danvers is the strongest superhero and have no idea how idiotic that statement is. Kevin Feige only said that to trick sexist trolls like you into blindly supporting the movie Stranger: If she was magically the most powerful, why was the day saved thanks to a drunk asshole that forced his secretary to love him? You: Mm, yup, incel. Women can't like things because they can't possibly /understand/ Stranger: No, you only like it because of the sexist marketing. It's 30 years away from being the first female led Marvel movie Stranger: Hell, it's not even the first female led Marvel movie made by Kevin Feige You: my interests are invalid because I like a popular version. You: Incel. Stranger: No, your interests are invalid because they aren't an interest. You only "like" it because it's a "strong" female and idiots like you act like it's the first of it's kind. Stranger: It's only 70 years off from being the first female superhero movie though. You: "Iliked it before it was cool" Stranger: No, that's not true Stranger: I never liked Carol Danvers as Captain Marvel because there are much better versions. Stranger: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CESxxlcHhLg Stranger: The OG. You: "These fake geek girls don't understand and they're invading my safe space" snort Stranger: Cool, except that you are yelling at me because you think I'm a man and only hate you because you're a woman. Stranger: Even though you're the one that wants a safe space. You: Nah man, I'm enjoying this almost as much as a rp Stranger: Especially since asshole trolls like you are the reason I can't walk into a comic book store without some bratty boy screaming at me that I can't like comics because l'm a girl or recommending "girl comics" for me. My tits are massive because that's where I store my comic book knowledge Stranger: Fucking troll. Stranger has disconnected. New chat or turn on video Just get a punching bag dude, and enjoy a salad
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Amazon, Bruh, and Drunk: omeg 183K Unpause Omegler anguage Like 18 Change Greeting line now You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You both like captain marvel. Stranger: But what if...you actually had something to say You: Bruh, I'm just trying to enjoy my salad Stranger: Then, why are you here to "talk" to people? You: Just waiting for a good roleplay prompt Stranger: l'd bet money that you can't roleplay. You:..based on what evidence...? Stranger: The fact that you are on here waiting for a "good roleplay prompt" proving that you have no idea what roleplaying even is. Stranger: https://discord.gg/uCx5nx You: yeah no bud, not happening Stranger: Prove me wrong. Win an Amazon gift card. You: Says every scammer ever Stranger: Yup, that super untrustworthy site called Discord. You: Lol, angry little incel Stranger: Says the loser that thinks roleplaying is begging for pretend sex You: Imean, you said it fam Stranger: Because you want it You: he who smelt it Stranger: Except that anyone who says anything sexual immediately gets banned from my room because that's not even remotely close to roleplaying and you'd know that if you knew anything about roleplaying and weren't just a loser that despises the existence of women and thinks people will like him because he put in a popular tag you know literally nothing about. You: ..I'm a female Stranger: And you still hate women Stranger: You only "like" Captain Marvel because you saw a movie that treats women like crap. You: Nice pivot Stranger: I knew you were going to throw a hissy fit and claim you were a woman because that's what you trolls do. You seem to think you can't be sexist because you're a woman which is incredibly fucking stupid. Stranger: If that was true, Captain Marvel wouldn't have been a sexist as fuck movie. Stranger: Wonder Woman wouldn't have been a sexist movie Stranger: Jessica Jones wouldn't have been sexist. Stranger: And you wouldn't be here because you wouldn't claim to like a character just because they're a woman even though she's one of the worst Captain Marvels. You: Keep goin' incel I've got more salad Stranger: How am I an incel? I'm not the loser who thinks that roleplaying is about being a pathetic loser begging for someone to like you. You: I mean, there you go putting it out there again Stranger: I really don't understand why you trolls come here. You: To enjoy my salad Stranger: And you enjoy your salad by begging people to like you because you can name things that are popular but that you know nothing about? Stranger: Why don't you just find something you do like and can talk to people about Stranger: Then you might GASP! make a friend and you might GASP! not want to kill yourself because no one likes you You: You mean like...typing thingss I like into the tags section of this site...? Stranger: Yes, instead of typing something you think is popular and that people will like you for just because you typed it out Stranger: It's really quite sad. You put in a Captain Marvel tag without knowing anything about Captain Marvel Stranger: You're so dumb you think Carol Danvers is the strongest superhero and have no idea how idiotic that statement is. Kevin Feige only said that to trick sexist trolls like you into blindly supporting the movie Stranger: If she was magically the most powerful, why was the day saved thanks to a drunk asshole that forced his secretary to love him? You: Mm, yup, incel. Women can't like things because they can't possibly /understand/ Stranger: No, you only like it because of the sexist marketing. It's 30 years away from being the first female led Marvel movie Stranger: Hell, it's not even the first female led Marvel movie made by Kevin Feige You: my interests are invalid because I like a popular version. You: Incel. Stranger: No, your interests are invalid because they aren't an interest. You only "like" it because it's a "strong" female and idiots like you act like it's the first of it's kind. Stranger: It's only 70 years off from being the first female superhero movie though. You: "Iliked it before it was cool" Stranger: No, that's not true Stranger: I never liked Carol Danvers as Captain Marvel because there are much better versions. Stranger: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CESxxlcHhLg Stranger: The OG. You: "These fake geek girls don't understand and they're invading my safe space" snort Stranger: Cool, except that you are yelling at me because you think I'm a man and only hate you because you're a woman. Stranger: Even though you're the one that wants a safe space. You: Nah man, I'm enjoying this almost as much as a rp Stranger: Especially since asshole trolls like you are the reason I can't walk into a comic book store without some bratty boy screaming at me that I can't like comics because l'm a girl or recommending "girl comics" for me. My tits are massive because that's where I store my comic book knowledge Stranger: Fucking troll. Stranger has disconnected. New chat or turn on video Neckbeard or legbeard? My tits are massive because that's where I store my comic book knowledge
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