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Cute, James Bond, and Shit: LEATHERDOS aerois: glitterdustedwren: somajesticdonki: fearlessjones: naamahdarling: fallen-angel-nightshade: nonbinaryanders: justsomefuckingguy: captcreate: odditymall: The Leatherdos is a hair clip that doubles as a multi-tool that combines 5 different tools in a tiny hair clip: screw-drivers, a wrench, a trolley coin, a ruler, and a cutting edge. —-http://odditymall.com/leatherdos-is-a-hair-clip-multi-tool This some of that James Bond shit. Swiss Army Hairclip Imagine you get kidnapped or some shit, how useful that might be? FINALLY!!! Lightly hot glue a flower to it and you could make it cute and frilly without sacrificing functionality. Low temp hot glue pops right off. this is some Kingsman shit right here @mysterysolver Fun story: I have one of these, and wore it every day while working as a vet assistant at a pet clinic. One day a kitten comes in with a cord knotted around her neck, and everyone’s trying to get it unknotted before she heads in for her spay. I just whip off the hair clip, grab the cord, and slice through it in one go. Everyone stood there, surprised, and stared at the cord in my hand that I just sawed through with a hair clip.  This would be AMAZING if you got kidnapped, or, in this case, a pet gets tangled in something. It’s very light and flexible, but the insides of the teeth are sharp enough to get the job done. Y’all are close, but not quite there. This isn’t James Bond, this isn’t Kingsman; this is some Totally Spies shit we’re looking at, and it’s glorious
Apple, Fresh, and Frozen: Hom fo mahe a smoothie Behold, the smoothie. A meal in a glass. And not just any meal. A fast one too. And done right, packed with vitamins, minerals, antioxidants healthy fats and so much more. Not only nutritious, but super delicious. Replace a meal such as breakfast or use it as a supplement or Stay healthy, lose weight, gain weight. Adapt it anyway you There's so much more to smoothies than fruit, yogurt and Here's how to make a smoothie- awesomel 1 ADD FRUIT Choose at least 2 types of fruit- fresh or frozen. And for a super healthy smoothie - make it green, adding vegetables such as kale, spinach & arugula Barana BerriesPearl apple WatermelonPeach SpinachKale ugulaBoet greens Dandeion greens 2 CHOOSE A BASE Add 1 2 Cups of liquid. The more juice your chosen fr have, the less liquid you need to add Fruit juiceIced coffee ced green tea Wator ricel almond soy mik water/ mik 3 THICKEN UP Thicken your smoothie to get the right consistencyl creaminess whilst making it more nutritious Nut buter Yogurt/k e cream (e.g peanut) cottage cheese frozen yogurt cubes CoounutChiasood Oata meat poylium busksbeans 4 FLAVOR IT Boost flavor with sweeteners, spices, fruits and herbs. Spices such as cinnamon add a layer of sweetness, without adding extra calories Honay Figs Dates Vanilal almond extract Nutmeg (eg minu basi) 5 POWER BOOST Take your smoothie to the next level with highly nutritive superfoods Protein powder Fish ol Goj berries Sprouts Ground flaxsends VitaminSpirulnal powderwhealgrass aair green powderpowder you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com srsfunny:Behold, The Smoothie

srsfunny:Behold, The Smoothie

Bodies , Children, and Climbing: Drowning in real life looks nothing like in the movies, and in fact many parents actually watch their children drown, having no idea that it's happening Ultrafacts.tumblr.com faikitty: mermaibee: ultrafacts: According to the CDC, in 10 percent of those drownings, the adult will actually watch the child do it, having no idea it is happening. Drowning does not look like drowning—Dr. Pia, in an article in the Coast Guard’s On Scene magazine, described the Instinctive Drowning Response like this: “Except in rare circumstances, drowning people are physiologically unable to call out for help. The respiratory system was designed for breathing. Speech is the secondary or overlaid function. Breathing must be fulfilled before speech occurs. Drowning people’s mouths alternately sink below and reappear above the surface of the water. The mouths of drowning people are not above the surface of the water long enough for them to exhale, inhale, and call out for help. When the drowning people’s mouths are above the surface, they exhale and inhale quickly as their mouths start to sink below the surface of the water. Drowning people cannot wave for help. Nature instinctively forces them to extend their arms laterally and press down on the water’s surface. Pressing down on the surface of the water permits drowning people to leverage their bodies so they can lift their mouths out of the water to breathe. Throughout the Instinctive Drowning Response, drowning people cannot voluntarily control their arm movements. Physiologically, drowning people who are struggling on the surface of the water cannot stop drowning and perform voluntary movements such as waving for help, moving toward a rescuer, or reaching out for a piece of rescue equipment. From beginning to end of the Instinctive Drowning Response people’s bodies remain upright in the water, with no evidence of a supporting kick. Unless rescued by a trained lifeguard, these drowning people can only struggle on the surface of the water from 20 to 60 seconds before submersion occurs.” This doesn’t mean that a person that is yelling for help and thrashing isn’t in real trouble—they are experiencing aquatic distress. Not always present before the Instinctive Drowning Response, aquatic distress doesn’t last long—but unlike true drowning, these victims can still assist in their own rescue. They can grab lifelines, throw rings, etc. Look for these other signs of drowning when persons are in the water: Head low in the water, mouth at water level Head tilted back with mouth open Eyes glassy and empty, unable to focus Eyes closed Hair over forehead or eyes Not using legs—vertical Hyperventilating or gasping Trying to swim in a particular direction but not making headway Trying to roll over on the back Appear to be climbing an invisible ladder So if a crew member falls overboard and everything looks OK—don’t be too sure. Sometimes the most common indication that someone is drowning is that they don’t look like they’re drowning. They may just look like they are treading water and looking up at the deck. One way to be sure? Ask them, “Are you all right?” If they can answer at all—they probably are. If they return a blank stare, you may have less than 30 seconds to get to them. And parents—children playing in the water make noise. When they get quiet, you get to them and find out why. Source/article: [x] Follow Ultrafacts for more facts! BOOST FOR THE SUMMER. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. Can I just say thank you to OP for putting such a detailed description on this? I’ve been a lifeguard for 6 years now and of all the saves I’ve done, maybe two or three had people drowning in the stereotypical thrashing style. And even those, like the save I made last weekend, it was exactly like OP describes where the person’s head is going in and out of the water but it isn’t long enough to get any air. Mostly you recognize drowning by the look on someone’s face. If someone looks wide eyed and terrified or confused, chances are they’re drowning. That look of “oh shit” is pretty easily recognizable. And even if you can’t tell for sure: GO AFTER THEM ANYWAY. I’ve done “saves” where a kid was pretending to drown and I mistook it for real drowning, but that’s preferable to a kid ACTUALLY drowning. Also please remember that even strong swimmers can drown if they have a medical emergency, get cramps, or get too tired. If your friend knows how to swim but they’re acting funny get them to land. And even if someone can respond when you ask them if they need help, if they say they do need help? GO HELP THEM. However . If the victim is a stranger, I can’t recommend trying to get them. Lifeguards literally train to escape “attacks,” because people who are drowning can freak the fuck out and grab you and make YOU drown as well. If you do go in after someone, take hold of them from the back and talk to them the whole time. IF YOU ARE GRABBED: duck down into the water as low as you can get. The person is panicking and won’t want to go under water and should release you. Shove up at their hands and push them away from you as you duck under. Don’t die trying to save someone else. Please guys, read and memorize this post. Not all places have lifeguards. Being able to recognize drowning is such an important skill to have and you can save someone’s life.
Being Alone, Amazon, and College: did you know? There's an app that pays people to go online. Nielsen, the organization that does TV ratings, now measures the popularity of websites and online videos. To do that, they'll pay you just to 1.) Join the Nielsen panel at InternetPanel.org 2.) Get the free app on your phone/computer, 3.) Use the internet the same way you do now. It's that simple! Panel members receive cash and Amazon gift cards just to use the internet. nielsen PHOTO: INTERNETPANEL.ORG DID YOU KNOW? collegehackable: cntnd: zarb: You guys, I looked into it and this is legitimate. According to Wikipedia, Nielsen has been a trusted name since the 1920s, first measuring what radio stations people listened to. In the 1950s, they got into television ratings and now they’re measuring the popularity of stuff online. I can’t believe they’re gonna start paying me to watch youtube videos… I’m truly living in 3019 It took me less than 5 minutes to sign up here GUYS… in 2019 we live in 3019 I usually scroll past these sorta posts, but I know a lot of broke college kids follow me and want someone to verify if this is real. After doing my homework, I learned that the Nielsen internet panel is undeniably real. (Source: TV Technology) If you’re worried about what data they collect, this is from Nielsen’s website: TL;DR they only want to know what websites you visit, how long you spend on those sites, etc. and they NEVER collect sensitive data such as usernames, passwords, login information, bank, or credit card information. Facebook already collects (and sells) your data. The difference is that Nielsen wants to pay you and they’re not sneaky about it. So yes, you can quite literally get paid to watch youtube videos. Pro-Tip: to make the most money, you guys should join the panel on your computer AND your phone because you can earn more for multiple devices. Besides regular rewards, Nielsen gives away $10,000 cash each month. You could receive a thousand dollars in one month from the sweepstakes alone. If you keep Nielsen on your computer, you’ll be automatically entered into their monthly sweepstakes, so the app is a must-have on laptop or desktop. Two people win $1000 each month and four hundred people win cash prizes. Another reason to add multiple devices is that annually they will pay you $50 per mobile device you connect, so it pays to put Nielsen on all your devices, even that old phone in a drawer somewhere if it’ll turn on. Tablets work too, as do iPods and E-Readers.

collegehackable: cntnd: zarb: You guys, I looked into it and this is legitimate. According to Wikipedia, Nielsen has been a trusted name s...

Dude, Fucking, and Gif: WillYouPressTheButton?.com I will not! You can shapeshift intout People will always know it's you any form you choose spaztomato13: wanderingwolfsbane: snippyschnapps: haiku-robot: rispahanguis: christiandevil7: nepetaloveme: tyfye49: kasaithederp: therapist-anon: cc-the-pathetic-nobody: chris-drawing-shack: weezy-pup: symmetrical-twin: perpetualcombustioninstruction: revereche: bogleech: elvenrainbow: shitsuren-chama: ocean-child-love: kaibas-paragraphical-mind: what-is-a-homestuck: WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT YOU COULD BE A FUCKING BADASS DRAGON THAT’S THE POINT “I AM A CREATURE OF DARKNESS” “oh hey sabrina.” I guess the point is that you could shapeshift into the body you always thought you’d grow into when you were a kid taller, shorter, slimmer, more muscular, purple hair, tattoos everywhere, tattoos nowhere,  every single shoe would fit you every single time you tried it on, every single article of clothing would fit your perfectly, all you have to do is transform slightly, you’d never run out of ‘your size’ again and you wouldn’t have to work for it at all, and you’d never be limitted by your bone structure or something. You could just transform at will. I don’t see how this is much of a downside When you turn into a sixty story tentacle demon and terrorize a city you want to get the credit you deserve Oh man that would be so sweet. I could be an annoying fuck as an insect or something but you couldn’t kill me because everyone would know That’s great but have you considered ~cosplay ~Halloween costumes ~acting ~cosplay ~stretching to reach stuff and shrinking to fit through spaces ~cosplay ~cosplay ~COSPLAY Dude this would literally be a trangender or genderfluid’s dream. PUSH DA BUTTON I’ll be able to be a cat my whole life! Yas! you could be a fucking furry, enough said. YOU WOULD NEVER HAVE TO PAY FOR TRANSPORTATION EITHER WANNA GO TO ANOTHER COUNTRY? BECOME AN ALBATROSS THEY FLY LONG DISTANCES ALL THE TIME OR HELL JUST BECOME A FUCKING DOLPHIN IF ITS ANOTHER CONTINENT Become a god. Just, become a god. Enough said. Snake, dragon, cat, lion, tiger, etc. *slams button* I could finally look in the mirror without gagging! :: presses button :: i could finally look in the mirror without gagging :: presses button ^Haiku^bot^7. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. | Welcome @image-transcribing-bot | Contact | HAIKU BOT NO | Good bot! | Meep morp! Zeet! Time to abuse THIS power This is always my go to answer when someone asks me about super powers. At least, the shapeshifting part anyway *SMASHES BUTTON* BEEEEEF
Bailey Jay, Family, and Get Money: Cancel Your Credit Card Before You Die A lady died this past January, and the bank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to the Bank Here is the exchange Family Member: am calling to tell you she died back in January Bank The account was never closed and the late fees and charges stil apply. Family Member : 'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections. Bank: 'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.' Family Member So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?' Bank: 'Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!' Family Member 'Do you think God will be mad at her?' Bank: 'Excuse me?' Family Member: 'Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?' Bank: 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.' Supervisor gets on the phone: Family Member 'I'm calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance. Bank: 'The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.' Family Member from her estate?' Bank (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?' Family Member 'No, I'm her great nephew. (Lawyer info was given) Bank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?' Family Member 'Sure. (Fax number was given) You mean you want to collect After they get the fax Bank: 'Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help. Family Member 'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't care. Bank: 'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply. (What is wrong with these people?1?) Family Member: 'Would you like her new billing address?' Bank: That might help... Family Member: 'Odessa Memorial Cemetery Highway 129, Plot Number 69.' Bank: 'Sir, that's a cemetery ! Family Member: 'And what do you do with dead people on your planet? ohgoditsneph: niniblack: eudoxiav: lawful-evil-novelist: theludicrousrival: billiam-spockspeare: Capitalism will put the bill on your grave and harass your grieving family until they pay One of my cousins passed away unexpectedly at the age of 35, and had been paying back a loan from the bank. About two weeks after his death, my great aunt received a statement from the bank (his mail was being delivered to her house) about a late payment. She called the bank and explained the situation and the only thing a manager could say was “Well, that’s unfortunate. We can arrange so payments will resume in 30 days, that should be enough time to have already paid for the other arrangements.” On top of the unexpected $10,000 funeral, cremation and burial bill, my aunt had to finish paying my uncle’s $5,000 loan. She’s a disabled retiree, on a fixed income, and could barely afford to pay for her insulin for diabetes. She nearly lost her home of more than 40 years. Fuck the system. She didn’t need to pay. When people die, their debts are not their family’s responsibility. In fact, it is outright illegal to try and collect those debts from a person who didn’t cosign the loan and isn’t executing the will. Debts and Deceased Relatives Here’s a link to the detail on that one. Banks count on people not knowing that last comment so that they can still get money They really do. My great-grandmother had her identity stolen before she died at the age of 93, and thousands of charges were racked up on credit cards in her name. After she passed away, they called my mother to try and collect. My mom laughed at them, and told them: “She’s dead, good luck collecting.” The credit card asked my mother, “Don’t you want to clear your grandmother’s debts? Don’t you want to clear her good name?” My mom laughed at them again. “No,” she said. “Because a 90 year old wasn’t watching porn with those credit cards, and her name is fine. Don’t give credit cards to old women likely to pass away soon. This is on you.” Which is how I learned as a young child to always question collection agents, and to never pay off debts that aren’t your own. They often can’t even collect that money from the estate, if there is one, depending on how you write your will and what kind of account the money was kept in. DO NOT EVER PAY OFF DEBTS THAT AREN’T YOUR OWN. If a loved one of yours dies and bill collectors (credit cards, loans, etc etc) start calling you off the hook and request that you pay off their debts, tell them in no uncertain terms to go fuck themselves. The reason being is that the moment you give them a single penny, that debt is now on YOU because you’ve now agreed to pay it off. Do not agree to pay off their debt. Do not pass go, do not give them $200.