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Be Like, Club, and Fake: a tale of trees and espionage okay story time: my professor (lovely man, married to our TA, 52", about as So studies trees. it was about three hours into our social sciences course, last lecture before exams, everyone was frazzled and exhausted, so he told us about his most exciting/in-depth research to date to cheer us up. (the few of us who actually showed up were like ok sir im sure its fascinating but in our minds we were totally like its trees what. is. exciting. about trees. You might be wondering the same thing-the acorns? the leaves? the roots? BUT NO. IMMA FUCKIN TELL YA.) ANYWAY we settle in, he had a few pictures loaded up from his field work (we were chuckling at this point.... 'hehehe field work' i giggled to my frend. its trees.) and began to tell his tale. it's long, imma warn you, but.... god. just read it theres an species of tree called the cucumber tree(Magnolia in our region there's only-280 that are registered by the government, yadda yadda yadda, my prof thought that was tragic (i know) but also strange, because when he was writing his thesis about local trees years ago, he kept coming across cucumber trees in really random places. we're talking like etc. IMPOSSIBLE because, according to tree very strictly protected by the govenment, and thus super legai to possess, transport, collect, buy or sell any part of a living or dead member of a listed species if it originates from sources. essentially, the govt takes control over g the trees and anyone who independently raises them is breaking the law (i kno) so he'd ask people "do you have a permit for these trees?" and they were like "uh no, it's just a tree someone sold me,i think it looks nice, are you gonna arrest me?" so he'd be like nah nah nah just tell me who sold it to you" eventually, months/years later, someone did, and turns out it was like this underground sort-of illegal tree dealing club (i know). so my prof went, got a bit of funding from the government, who were getting pissed at independent cucumber tree numbers, and THIS IS WHERE IT GETS INTO THE GOOD SHIT I STS he infitrates the tree trafficking organization. he buys a cucumber tree from an independent nursery, raises it for months, ensures he gets noticed by the traffickers, and then INFILTRATES it and convinces its leader to LET HIM JOIN he has to pay like a steep entrance fee, which he does (and it blows my mind that the government of my country paid money to illegal tree dealers), but then he is given full access to records and maps because they think he's one of them, not now this part blows my mind because the tree lords don't even have to try very hard to find cucumber trees because government agents MARK THE TREES AND DISTINCTLY TAG THEM SAYING THIS IS ENDANGERED DO NOT hangs out with the members so much that he figures out their hit spots". these are where the trees are relatively secluded and unguarded. (he writes all this shit and numbers down for BUT THATS NOT ENOUGH BECAUSE THE GOVT SAYS HES WASTING THEIR FUNDING IF HE DOESNT HAVE PROOF and they are willing to take LEGAL ACTION for misuse of funding (my prof doesn't have the money nore time nor power to take them to court, which would also blow his cover). so my prof literally STAKES OUT a copse of cucumber trees at a recognized wildlife reserve for. DAYS. he camps there, and watches the trees, is about to give up, he's going off an unreliable rumor from the traffickers that a harvester would be going there within the next week. finally, this guy comes and takes the cucumber tree seeds from the CLEARLY MARKED trees by the government, and my prof takes pictures (we are shown these pictures, most of us are speechless at this point). dozens of candid shots of a man my grandpa's age with a grocery store bag, garden shears, and a ladder, clipping away the illegal seeds and then going on his way so my prof has the proof, he's been undercover for months now at this point, he writes up his report, gives it to the government who is likeoh shit", helps them draft up a new LESS COMPLETELY FUCKING OBVious way of marking e wouldn't damage them further, etc.), and then never retuns to the tree traffickers. he'd given them a fake name, address, (so that way there was a full minute of stunned silence from us students at this point, during which he grew more and more nervous (again, he's a muffin) and all of us students are just like whoa. we asked him what happened to the remaining illegal cucumber trees & if he turned the tree dealers in to the government, and that is when he smiles a little bit and shows us the last few pictures. because here's the kicker... he never turned the smugglers in. he burned all the data he collected, defied the government pressuring him to turn them in, and the only reason he's not incarcerated is because his work is so prominent in certain circles now & universities love him, that there would be an uproar if he got arrested. he's like a fucking anti-hero and then he tells us (ill never forget, it's the most inspirational green-thumb thing in the world) "it may be illegal', but those who risk their liberty to-save the world- should never be reprimanded, no matter what we are all stunned. some of us are considering dendrology as a field we'd now be interested in pursuing. he clicks his slide one final time, before we leave our last lecture and, since he had an asthma attack (lil muffin) he didn't attend our exam, so and there, on the slides, the last picture? THERE HE IS. in his own backyard. with his equally lovely TA wife. both grinning GROWN. ILLEGAL. CUCUMBER TREE 72,767 Tree espionage
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Children, Doctor, and Family: Celeste Wohl Pantsuit Nation 39 mins Talked to my husband about this being the time to share my story. He agreed it is time. In 1985 1 wasn't feeling well and the doctor did a battery of tests/ bloodwork. It turned out I was pregnant. I had always wanted a large family (8 kids). I had a two year old at home and had suffered miscarriages before she was born. I was sent to a specialist because it was felt there was something wrong. Off I went to the specialist; he was even a fertility doctor and surgeon Basically he said yes your pregnant, yes something is very wrong and We don't believe you and the baby will survive the pregnancy. The recommendation was an abortion. I was traumatized. One part of me thought if I had enough faith l should just risk it all and stay pregnant. Then there was the mental discussion of okay- so my choices are stay pregnant and possibly die and leave my daughter without a mother or stay pregnant and both the baby and I die or what if by some miracle the baby survived I could end up leaving two children motherless Thinking through scenarios was and is its own form of torture. Then one evening I looked into my 2 yr old daughter's eyes and she giggled at me and I knew the answer. How could l possibly consider not watching her grow up? How could I intentionally leave her without a mother. She had not asked to be brought into this world so abandoning her was not an option. I equate death with abandonment in this situatiorn I am from a religion that believes the soul enters the body with the first breath. It did not make my decision any easier. A part of me still felt like I was turning my back on G-d by not trvina to stav pregnant I had the abortion. The week before protestors had broken into the clinic rooms while the doctor and nurses were with patients, The protesters wreaked medical havoc. I honestly don't remember if they interrupted fertilization procedures or something else lt was terrifying going to the clinic. The abortions that were scheduled that day were insanely early in the morning and each patient had a special code word. I had to knock at a specified time. The other women there (all three of us) looked equally terrified During the abortion the doctor told me I had made the right decision because the baby had stopped developing. Once all the rest of the tests came back we found out why the baby was not developing. I had uterine cancer. To weeks later I had a hysterectomy to save my life. A few years ago, after sharing my story with a close friend and lay minister, she pointed something out to me I had never thought of. She told me that maybe G-d had sent the pregnancy(baby) to me to save my life. Without the pregnancy we never would have found the cancer Here is what I know. I have told this story maybe 1/2 a dozen times. The telling does not make it easier. Knowing that both the baby and I would have been dead doesn't make it any easie How much worse would the process have been if abortion was illegal? Anytime someone tells me no abortion under any circumstances I want to yell in their face they are advocating that my daughter grow up motherless My name is Celeste Wohl. This is my story. If it helps anyone please share it. As women we have inalienable rights and the right to be a person Il'm sorry about the typos but I'm not proofreading this it was hard enough to write
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Af, Bad, and Big Sean: Sup @Dr Smash love Five episodes in, on Peaky Blinders. Five. MF. Episodes. And the first sex scene that came up had to be while I was on the COT DAMN ellip this morning (I won't say who was having sex on-screen because this show is amazing AF and I don't wanna spoil it). This time, the girl next to me, a lil blondie with the black yoga workout pants with like the horizontal hot pink racing stripe, at first seemed like she wasn't as approving. She sort of glanced and then looked away. I was like "my bad it's this show called Peaky Blinders it's not a porno lol I promise. Not that there's anything wrong with porn. You probably don't want porn. I don't watch porn either to be honest. I used to? You know what lemme stop, this hole I dug is deep enuf 😬." And she giggled and said "I don't watch that show but do you watch orange is the new black? It's pretty fucking awesome ☺️." To which I said "no! I'll watch it next 😊." And continued my workout. There's no moral to this story except to say that I'm never watching orange is the new black, it just seemed like the right thing to say πŸ˜‚. I've tried twice Bruh, I can't get into that show, but, from my experience, a first conversation with someone is not the place to express disapproval over something they like. "BIG SEAN? YOU LISTEN TO BIG SEAN? LMAO WOW HE'S TERRIBLE YOUR TASTE IN MUSIC IS BAD LOL DO YOU HAVE OTHER REDEEMING QUALITIES OR IS YOUR WHOLE SITUATION JUST, LIKE, IMBUED WITH BAD TASTE LMAO." I like to save those conversations for after we smash: "wait - you actually 'like' Big Sean - like you listen to him on purpose, not just when he's on the radio?" *pulls sheet over chest and genitalia* *gazes out the window* "I can't believe we copulated...you know I have to subtract you out of my number, right? I feel so dirty 😞". LOL but nah see Bruh after you've been intimate, you can be more honest in your teasing SavageLife πŸΈβ˜•οΈπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
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Creepy, Memes, and Photoshop: _vanessagaleano Notas About the "photoshoot (which only took me 2 minutes to crop a picture on snapchat) it was just a joke. A simple JOKE not my fault you haven't got a little bit of humour, you should be proud of you husband of how far he has become and all the fans he has. It wasn't personal, ljust decided to make a funny picture with one of my favourites basketball players on Valentine's Day just like many other teenagers did, But Iguess I didn't know his wife was insecure about herself or her relationship What you pretend a 17 years old TGM youu? I swear you career is giving advise to people, please take a minute and Take your own advise and act like the "woman" you are. -Vanessa Galeano. Happy Valentine,s dequanmjones Since we're writing letters and stuff, Ifelt like a response was warranted. Yesterday morning I sent my wife a screenshot of someone who had taken the time to photoshop her face into our picture. We laughed about how funny (and creepy) it was and created a side by side to share with our friends. It was all kicks and giggles until the post surprisingly went viral and people started saying rude things about both my wife and the young lady in the comments. At the end of the day, think it's clear that everyone was joking and that it was all meant to be some Valentine's Day humor. We're glad we could provide some entertainment for y all even though it was never meant to be that deep. Clearly social media is a powerful thing. An update from the 17 year old ValentinesDay photoshop girl and the "husband"

An update from the 17 year old ValentinesDay photoshop girl and the "husband"

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Memes, Squidward, and Answer the Phone: When you hear your mom pullin up in the driveway and you haven't done any of your chores yet Gatlsavagee @drip memes House Fancy And then there's this episode which is notoriously hated for its disgusting toenail scene. However the only good thing about the episode in my opinion was that Squilliam appeared here. Is it me or did Squilliam come off as very flirty in this episode? Let me explain… It starts off with Squidward getting ready to watch his favorite TV show, House Fancy. Before he can enjoy himself the phone rings. Squidward decides which voice to use and answers the phone. When Squidward picks up the phone and says helloooo sweetly, Squilliam says helloooo sweetly back to him! (The cutest moment between these two!) Not to mention that when Squidward realizes that Squilliam is on House Fancy, we literally can hear his heartbeat pounding really loud and fast. Once again, Squilliam seems to know Squidward like a book and knows he likes watching House Fancy. As usual Squilliam enjoys chatting with Squiddy and like I've said before, Squilliam was behaving flirtatious toward him, even giggling! After that, Squilliam proceeds to show off his fancy mansion and Squidward watches him do it while growing increasingly irritated. (Notice during the whole show, Squilliam is constantly smirking at the camera because he knows Squidward is out there watching and he's reveling in the attention.) Another thing I've noticed is when Squilliam answers his phone; he does exactly what Squidward did with the eyelashes and sweet hellos. And finally, Squilliam seemed awfully disappointed that Squidward was only calling to tell Nicolas Whithers that his house was fancier. (What's wrong, Squilliam? Were you hoping that Squidward wanted to come see you?)

House Fancy And then there's this episode which is notoriously hated for its disgusting toenail scene. However the only good thing about the...

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