Octane
Octane

Octane

Nerfed
Nerfed

Nerfed

Glorious Leader
Glorious Leader

Glorious Leader

Look At My
Look At My

Look At My

Im 14
Im 14

Im 14

Im 18
Im 18

Im 18

salar de atacama
 salar de atacama

salar de atacama

breaking down
 breaking down

breaking down

gloriousness
 gloriousness

gloriousness

my favorite
 my favorite

my favorite

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Ass, Fall, and Hail Mary: I almost died today. Here is the true story So Iwas derping in my backyard today, picking up dog crap. The whole time, my dog was just sitting there watching me, enjoying the sight. So I go to the small section in between my trampoline and my fence. Now if any of you haven't seen my trampoline, it is really old and there are these black foam things on the bars that used to hold up a net, but they are mostly destroyed now. So I walk in the narrow space, and I get completely covered by the hugest web I've ever felt. All over my face, all over my chest and shoulders. I freak out, but I realize that there is no worries. I see no spider, and it would have to be a big ass spider to concoct such a glorious web. Well, sure enough, in the middle of my struggle to break free, I look up, and slowly, ever so slowly, I see the huge, black-brown mass of a spider about the size of my fist crawl out of some old, decaying foam protectors. I stare at it; it stares back. I look closely for any threads connecting us, and there, glinting back at me with sunlight, is one strand of spider web, connecting the hulk spider to my face. It realizes the fact at the same time as me, and thinks, "Yes! This boy's eye sockets will make excellent breeding holes for my eggs!! and starts a full on crawling sprint towards me. I freak out, and begin to struggle even more and more to release myself from this web. It reaches the halfway mark and sees me begin to escape, so it goes for gold. The Hail Mary play. A daring leap straight for the head. Time slows down. This thing has all legs extended, blocking out the sun. A sure death for me. My left arm breaks free from the web. This could be my chance! A quick and decisive left cross reaches the spider JUST in time knocking the behemoth against the fence. It looks dazed; begins to squirm around on the ground, preparing for a counteroffensive. I don't give it a chance. I take the poop shovel in both my hands, shout a battle cry of pure victorious slaughter and smash my enemy into a crumpled pile, each strike emanating a loud crunch of the monster's body.I emerge the survivor in this battle. Thank you video games, for my improved reaction time, lest I fall victim to fate Unlike Comment Share 3 hours ago you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com epicjohndoe: This Man Should Write A Novel
Alive, America, and Beautiful: Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Trump rallies and then asked it to write a Trump rally of its own. Here is the first page TRUMP RALLY INT. BIG ARBY'S IN SOUTH WYOMKLAHOMA PRESIDENT TRUMP forces himself on a podium. The crowd chants: FOUR MORE SWAMPS FOUR MORE SWAMPS! PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D) Foreign powers cheat us! canada steals our milk. China steals our PRESIDENT TRUMP milk. We only had one glass of milk left! Obama drank it. Not fair I just had a phone call with the economy. Jobs poured out of the phone. Great jobs. Tall jobs. Steve Jobs. All at Kinko's. The crowd boos. They wanted that milk PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT D) The crowd cheers. It is full of real Americans (man with hard hat, man with harder hat, gun that is alive But like President Ronald Rogaine, I will bring back the milk! PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT D) The United Snakes is doing so good other countries are on fire. All the people on fire. Hot fire too. Not us. Our flag is Bo beautiful. The crowd roars. They still want that milk PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D) A wall of milk. No criminals get through. Democrats want criminals to have the milk. No way. Milk comes from coal. We'1l dig it up. President Trump salutes a flag that says: ARBY'S FOOD IS FINE TO EAT. The crowd howls. They love this flag of America PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT D) I signed a bill. No more swamp Swamp gone. swamp is in Mexico now It's on fire. Great deal for us All of the words are mispronounced. The crowd cheers. They hate pronunciations. They love milk. They start digging. This is glorious

This is glorious

Dad, Family, and Fire: Meghan McCain @MeghanMcCain I love you forever - my beloved father @SenJohnMcCain My father, United States Senator John Sidney McCain III, departed this life today. I was with my father at his end, as he was with me at my beginning. In the thirty-three years we shared together, he raised me, taught me, corrected me, comforted me, encouraged me, and supported me in all things. He loved me, and I loved him. He taught me how to live. His love and his care, ever present, always unfailing, took me from a girl to a woman- and he showed me what it is to be a man All that I am is thanks to him. Now that he is gone, the task of my lifetime is to live up to his example, his expectations, and his love. My father's passing comes with sorrow and grief for me, for my mother, for my brothers, and for my sisters. He was a great fire who burned bright, and we lived in his light and warmth for so very long. We know that his flame lives on, in each of us. The days and years to come will not be the same without my dad-but they will be good days, filled with life and love, because of the example he lived for us. Your prayers, for his soul and for our family, are sincerely appreciated. My father is gone, and I miss him as only an adoring daughter can. But in this loss, and in this sorrow,I take comfort in this: John McCain, hero of the republic and to his little girl, wakes today to something more glorious than anything on this earth. Today the warrior enters his true and eternal life, greeted by those who have gone before him, rising to meet the Author of All Things: "The dream is ended: this is the morning. Earlier, Meghan McCain tweeted about the passing of her father, Sen. John McCain.

Earlier, Meghan McCain tweeted about the passing of her father, Sen. John McCain.