Octane
Octane

Octane

Nerfed
Nerfed

Nerfed

Glorious Leader
Glorious Leader

Glorious Leader

Look At My
Look At My

Look At My

Im 14
Im 14

Im 14

Im 18
Im 18

Im 18

salar de atacama
 salar de atacama

salar de atacama

breaking down
 breaking down

breaking down

gloriousness
 gloriousness

gloriousness

my favorite
 my favorite

my favorite

🔥 | Latest

Big Dick, Chill, and Church: ITT: Glorious Retards >be me mormonfag church boring as fuck not really that interested in going, its a cult, mostly do it for my family hate testimony week basically open mic day once a week at church people go up and are supposed to talk about how great god is or whatever, generally just talk about how great they are and what vacation they went on last literally just a big dick measuring contest new family moves into ward pretty unusual situation: single dad, downie kid. we learned way later that he accidentally got a girl pregnant, she wanted to abort downie, he said he'd raise the baby himself rather than see that happen. not sure if i agree with it, but gotta admit, that's honorable as fuck downies a good kid too, sweet as can be, not as dumb as you'd think anyway testimony week comes around, dreading it first guy goes up, starts talking about how he baptized a lot of people on his mission >am rolling my eyes in five dimensions when I heard downie roar from across the room "TEHTIMONEY WEEK IS FOHR TEHTIMONEYS! NOE!" room goes quiet, guy wraps up quickly, sits down people tell actual wholesome stuff, they fear the downie. no dick measuring with him around next week similar thing happens: woman goes up to talk about how much she loves her husband, and how he took the whole family on a trip to mexico recently Downie interrupts "TEHTIMONEY! WEEK! IS! FOHR! TEHTIMONEYS! NOE!" lady sits down, normal talking goes on, im officially borderline gay for downie later talking with my edgelord apostate friends, we all talk about how downie is the best thing to happen to this ward ever we find downie and thank him for keeping it real. his dad is super touched that we all stopped by, we all make sure to thank downie for his interruptions and tell him to keep it real we thought maybe his dad would be annoyed that we were encouraging this, but his dad was chill as could be 6.5 kB JPG 33 min. ago. Anonymous | 44806137 cont next week, Downey takes it up a notclh mormon services have two or three talks a servic, all done by volunteers, but the talks can suuuuuuck worst ones are when old people/newly returned missionaries are asked to talk and they ramble for an hour and a half old lady is going on and on about growing up in the great depression. we're all about to go insane when downie stands up YOU TAHK TOO LON, OTHER SPEACHERS NEED TO TAHK TOO lady wraps up we're all in fucking awe of this god among us anytime somebody rambles, or tries to humblebrag, downie calls them out its fucking amazing >church is still a cult but its actually kind of fun now with downie there me and my edgelord friends keep an eye on him, nobody fucks with our downie we get near the end of HS when downie has a heart attack we all visit him in the hospital. we fucking love him >he survived the heart attack, but he just may not have a whole lot of time left. the sunday, the dad announces that him and his son are going to be moving out of state. wants to show his son more of the world before he dies. me and my friends go to downies house to say goodbye, tell him we're going to miss him so much, testimoney week is going to turn back to shit with him gone downie asks if he can tell us a secret we say sure, you can tell us anything "Dah tole me wat to say all those times. >mfw his dad originally used his retarded son as a way to ignore social conventions and tell people to stfu, but wound up continuing to do it for years because he knew it was helping him have friends. >mfw when im not sure if his dad is an asshole or a genius >mfw I don't even care anymore, I still think fondly of that glorious downie bastard yelling at old ladies from the back of the chapel 1 REPLY Anon goes to church

Anon goes to church

Best Friend, Bless Up, and College: You can see the meaning of the universe in those two eyes. So my lil homegirl sent me a link to this coffee made by Dark Matter that’s called Unicorn Blood. Tried it. Not gon lie, delicious. But Unicorn Blood? Y’all doin too much. U coffee roasters Bruv a lot of y’all getting real comfortable selling good (but not life changing) coffee for $15.99 a bag and I’m thinking I might come for y’all. Coffee is my thing and if I had the time and the roasting equipment, I could stomp y’all out completely. And I know what I’d name my coffee blend, too: Mermaid Period. Y’all think Unicorn Blood is rare? Y’all ain’t seen rare. First of all a Unicorn is just a horse with a horn. That sh!t low key basic. A good plastic surgeon could make one. If a plastic surgeon could make the Kardashians Black bruv? He could throw a horn on a horse nah that’s basic. Mermaids? Bruv that’s half woman half fish. Up top she a sexy, comely ginger with seashells on her Tetas. Waist down? All flipper. Where’s the Punani? Exactly. Even if a mermaid had a Punani (which she can’t because issa flipper), would she even have a period? How? Do she wear faded, washed 7,000 times, soft-as-silk (😍) Period panty granny panties over her flipper? Or do she just freeball it bleeding out her sweet, precious, mythical, menstrual magnificence into the ocean with reckless abandon so that if a random scuba diver named Aiden from Newport Beach with floopy blond hair is swimming by and perchance catches a glorious taste, his heart explodes with love and affection and his head pops off his body and his scuba diving companion William is at his funeral just like “I know y’all will never believe me because I used to drop acid when I attended college but my best friend died after inhaling Mermaid Period then his head popped off his body and a shark ate it good night 😢.” Bam. Straight like that. It will be beautifully rich, reddish in color, deliciously fragrant, and invigorating - just like regular Period (But I’ll call it Mermaid Period because y’all love it when these beverage companies are extra 🤗). Coming to your grocery aisle fall 2018. Starbucks, Peet’s and Dark Matter - y’all on notice. Bless up 🤗😂😂😂

So my lil homegirl sent me a link to this coffee made by Dark Matter that’s called Unicorn Blood. Tried it. Not gon lie, delicious. But Unic...

Beautiful, Confused, and God: Beautiful is he who lower his % Gaze. Beautiful is she who j2 observes her Modesty. Hayaa [Modesty She was at the station sitting politely waiting for the train, wearing her full loose Hijab. While she was sitting there, she saw a young Muslim man coming with his old mother. He was holding her kindly then he helped her to sit gently to wait for the train. He kept talking to his mom in an honorable way while she lowered her eyes, so happy that there are young Muslim like him who honor their mothers. When she raised her head, after few minutes, to see if the train came or not, she found that the same young Muslim man was looking at her smiling! She blushed and lowered her gaze.. When the train came finally, she rode it quickly. She realized that the young man rode in the same coach as her and stood in front of her with his mom. She felt his eyes were on her! Why is he looking at you like that? Isn’t he supposed to lower his gaze?! A satanic voice whispered in her ears: “Raise your head! Look at him don’t ignore him, he won’t eat you!! He is good Muslim man, didn’t you see how nice he is with his mother? Maybe he likes you and wants to marry a committed Muslim girl like you! Don’t lose this opportunity, just raise your head and take a look at him!” She was so confused, should she raise her head to look at him?! Suddenly, this Ayah from Quran came through her mind: "Tell the believing women that they should lower their gaze." [24:31] And she remembered this Hadith: "The furtive glance is one of the poisoned arrows of shaitan. Whoever forsakes it for fear of God will receive from Him, Great and Glorious is He, a faith the sweetness of which he will find within his heart. [Tabarani] Ya Allah! She was about to disobey her Lord! How could she do it? Where is her Hayaa (shyness) in front of her Lord? Where is her fear of Him? Many would say that it was just a quick glance, maybe he really wants to marry her, etc..But she knew that any blessing coming from Allah (like marriage for example) shouldn’t be obtained by His disobedience! So, she kept lowering her gaze during the whole trip. When she got off the train, she just kept walking away from it to go to her house. She didn’t look behind her or turn around, because her Hayaa stopped her.

Hayaa [Modesty She was at the station sitting politely waiting for the train, wearing her full loose Hijab. While she was sitting there, she...

Anna, Bad, and Come Over: pervocracy Well, this is a weird twist in the "trans military ban" story Trump never actually discussed anything with the Department of Defense or issued any kind of formal order. He just impulse- tweeted that trans people were banned. So for the moment, there's no actual policy change and trans people are still allowed, with trans healthcare still covered by military plans. I don't know if this situation will last for long, but it's a reminder of just how incompetent and unprofessional our would-be dictator is. He declared a major and extremely unpopular military policy change on Twitter, with no planning or consultation with the DoD at all, lied about discussing it with generals, and then he never actually put in the order. Hng I'm not gonna do a shouty rant-y caption about this again because it just puts me in a bad mood. But I have a wonderful story to tell instead. lgbtteensukstorytime So, yesterday (or the day before - I can't remember), I went to this café on the seafront and I ordered a salted caramel ice cream. THEn, this really hot waiter came over and I started blushing and he was super nice but that's not the bad part. TODAY, I went to another restaurant in Trevaskis and there was this bloody friggin waiter and he was like whEw DAMN he was just wHEW he was v good v good indeed. And he was one of the TWO male waiters out of the fifteen or so that worked there and he just haPPENED TO COME OVER TO OUR TABLE AND WAITER US which was embarrassing because I got flustered and started blushing again because y'know that's the sort of humiliating person I am. thEN for some reason I decided it would be a gLORioUS idea to take a couple of pictures of him when he wasn't looking but oH WELL he was LooKinG™ direcTLY at mE and then I just died and I never want to go to Cornwall again this is a pROBLem, people -Chance 🌸 - Credit for post goes to good ol' Anna

Hng I'm not gonna do a shouty rant-y caption about this again because it just puts me in a bad mood. But I have a wonderful story to tell in...