Glorious



                

                

                

            

        
    







            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    

                        


	

	
    
        

            

                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        Octane
        

            
            Octane
        

    

    

         
Octane

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        Nerfed
        

            
            Nerfed
        

    

    

         
Nerfed

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        Glorious Leader
        

            
            Glorious Leader
        

    

    

         
Glorious Leader

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        Look At My
        

            
            Look At My
        

    

    

         
Look At My

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        Im 14
        

            
            Im 14
        

    

    

         
Im 14

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        Im 18
        

            
            Im 18
        

    

    

         
Im 18

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

         salar de atacama
        

            
             salar de atacama
        

    

    

         
 salar de atacama

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

         breaking down
        

            
             breaking down
        

    

    

         
 breaking down

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

         gloriousness
        

            
             gloriousness
        

    

    

         
 gloriousness

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

         my favorite
        

            
             my favorite
        

    

    

         
 my favorite

    



                
            

        

    
    

        🔥 | Latest
    

    
    

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                




    Big Dick, Chill, and Church: ITT: Glorious Retards
 >be me
 mormonfag
 church boring as fuck
 not really that interested in going, its a cult, mostly do it for
 my family
 hate testimony week
 basically open mic day once a week at church
 people go up and are supposed to talk about how great
 god is or whatever, generally just talk about how great they
 are and what vacation they went on last
 literally just a big dick measuring contest
 new family moves into ward
 pretty unusual situation: single dad, downie kid. we learned
 way later that he accidentally got a girl pregnant, she
 wanted to abort downie, he said he'd raise the baby himself
 rather than see that happen.
 not sure if i agree with it, but gotta admit, that's honorable
 as fuck
 downies a good kid too, sweet as can be, not as dumb as
 you'd think
 anyway
 testimony week comes around, dreading it
 first guy goes up, starts talking about how he baptized a lot
 of people on his mission
 >am rolling my eyes in five dimensions when I heard downie
 roar from across the room
 "TEHTIMONEY WEEK IS FOHR TEHTIMONEYS! NOE!"
 room goes quiet, guy wraps up quickly, sits down
 people tell actual wholesome stuff, they fear the downie.
 no dick measuring with him around
 next week similar thing happens: woman goes up to talk
 about how much she loves her husband, and how he took
 the whole family on a trip to mexico recently
 Downie interrupts
 "TEHTIMONEY! WEEK! IS! FOHR! TEHTIMONEYS! NOE!"
 lady sits down, normal talking goes on, im officially
 borderline gay for downie
 later talking with my edgelord apostate friends, we all talk
 about how downie is the best thing to happen to this ward
 ever
 we find downie and thank him for keeping it real. his dad
 is super touched that we all stopped by, we all make sure
 to thank downie for his interruptions and tell him to keep it
 real
 we thought maybe his dad would be annoyed that we were
 encouraging this, but his dad was chill as could be
 6.5 kB JPG

 33 min. ago.
 Anonymous | 44806137
 cont
 next week, Downey takes it up a notclh
 mormon services have two or three talks a servic, all done by volunteers, but
 the talks can suuuuuuck
 worst ones are when old people/newly returned missionaries are asked to talk
 and they ramble for an hour and a half
 old lady is going on and on about growing up in the great depression. we're all
 about to go insane when downie stands up
 YOU TAHK TOO LON, OTHER SPEACHERS NEED TO TAHK TOO
 lady wraps up
 we're all in fucking awe of this god among us
 anytime somebody rambles, or tries to humblebrag, downie calls them out
 its fucking amazing
 >church is still a cult but its actually kind of fun now with downie there
 me and my edgelord friends keep an eye on him, nobody fucks with our downie
 we get near the end of HS when downie has a heart attack
 we all visit him in the hospital. we fucking love him
 >he survived the heart attack, but he just may not have a whole lot of time left.
 the sunday, the dad announces that him and his son are going to be moving out
 of state. wants to show his son more of the world before he dies.
 me and my friends go to downies house to say goodbye, tell him we're going to
 miss him so much, testimoney week is going to turn back to shit with him gone
 downie asks if he can tell us a secret
 we say sure, you can tell us anything
 "Dah tole me wat to say all those times.
 >mfw his dad originally used his retarded son as a way to ignore social
 conventions and tell people to stfu, but wound up continuing to do it for years
 because he knew it was helping him have friends.
 >mfw when im not sure if his dad is an asshole or a genius
 >mfw I don't even care anymore, I still think fondly of that glorious downie
 bastard yelling at old ladies from the back of the chapel
 1 REPLY
Anon goes to church
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    Big Dick, Chill, and Church: ITT: Glorious Retards
 >be me
 mormonfag
 church boring as fuck
 not really that interested in going, its a cult, mostly do it for
 my family
 hate testimony week
 basically open mic day once a week at church
 people go up and are supposed to talk about how great
 god is or whatever, generally just talk about how great they
 are and what vacation they went on last
 literally just a big dick measuring contest
 new family moves into ward
 pretty unusual situation: single dad, downie kid. we learned
 way later that he accidentally got a girl pregnant, she
 wanted to abort downie, he said he'd raise the baby himself
 rather than see that happen.
 not sure if i agree with it, but gotta admit, that's honorable
 as fuck
 downies a good kid too, sweet as can be, not as dumb as
 you'd think
 anyway
 testimony week comes around, dreading it
 first guy goes up, starts talking about how he baptized a lot
 of people on his mission
 >am rolling my eyes in five dimensions when I heard downie
 roar from across the room
 "TEHTIMONEY WEEK IS FOHR TEHTIMONEYS! NOE!"
 room goes quiet, guy wraps up quickly, sits down
 people tell actual wholesome stuff, they fear the downie.
 no dick measuring with him around
 next week similar thing happens: woman goes up to talk
 about how much she loves her husband, and how he took
 the whole family on a trip to mexico recently
 Downie interrupts
 "TEHTIMONEY! WEEK! IS! FOHR! TEHTIMONEYS! NOE!"
 lady sits down, normal talking goes on, im officially
 borderline gay for downie
 later talking with my edgelord apostate friends, we all talk
 about how downie is the best thing to happen to this ward
 ever
 we find downie and thank him for keeping it real. his dad
 is super touched that we all stopped by, we all make sure
 to thank downie for his interruptions and tell him to keep it
 real
 we thought maybe his dad would be annoyed that we were
 encouraging this, but his dad was chill as could be
 6.5 kB JPG

 33 min. ago.
 Anonymous | 44806137
 cont
 next week, Downey takes it up a notclh
 mormon services have two or three talks a servic, all done by volunteers, but
 the talks can suuuuuuck
 worst ones are when old people/newly returned missionaries are asked to talk
 and they ramble for an hour and a half
 old lady is going on and on about growing up in the great depression. we're all
 about to go insane when downie stands up
 YOU TAHK TOO LON, OTHER SPEACHERS NEED TO TAHK TOO
 lady wraps up
 we're all in fucking awe of this god among us
 anytime somebody rambles, or tries to humblebrag, downie calls them out
 its fucking amazing
 >church is still a cult but its actually kind of fun now with downie there
 me and my edgelord friends keep an eye on him, nobody fucks with our downie
 we get near the end of HS when downie has a heart attack
 we all visit him in the hospital. we fucking love him
 >he survived the heart attack, but he just may not have a whole lot of time left.
 the sunday, the dad announces that him and his son are going to be moving out
 of state. wants to show his son more of the world before he dies.
 me and my friends go to downies house to say goodbye, tell him we're going to
 miss him so much, testimoney week is going to turn back to shit with him gone
 downie asks if he can tell us a secret
 we say sure, you can tell us anything
 "Dah tole me wat to say all those times.
 >mfw his dad originally used his retarded son as a way to ignore social
 conventions and tell people to stfu, but wound up continuing to do it for years
 because he knew it was helping him have friends.
 >mfw when im not sure if his dad is an asshole or a genius
 >mfw I don't even care anymore, I still think fondly of that glorious downie
 bastard yelling at old ladies from the back of the chapel
 1 REPLY
Anon goes to church
                    
                
            

            
            
Anon goes to church

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                




    Best Friend, Bless Up, and College: You can see the meaning
 of the universe in those
 two eyes.
So my lil homegirl sent me a link to this coffee made by Dark Matter that’s called Unicorn Blood. Tried it. Not gon lie, delicious. But Unicorn Blood? Y’all doin too much. U coffee roasters Bruv a lot of y’all getting real comfortable selling good (but not life changing) coffee for $15.99 a bag and I’m thinking I might come for y’all. Coffee is my thing and if I had the time and the roasting equipment, I could stomp y’all out completely. And I know what I’d name my coffee blend, too: Mermaid Period. Y’all think Unicorn Blood is rare? Y’all ain’t seen rare. First of all a Unicorn is just a horse with a horn. That sh!t low key basic. A good plastic surgeon could make one. If a plastic surgeon could make the Kardashians Black bruv? He could throw a horn on a horse nah that’s basic. Mermaids? Bruv that’s half woman half fish. Up top she a sexy, comely ginger with seashells on her Tetas. Waist down? All flipper. Where’s the Punani? Exactly. Even if a mermaid had a Punani (which she can’t because issa flipper), would she even have a period? How? Do she wear faded, washed 7,000 times, soft-as-silk (😍) Period panty granny panties over her flipper? Or do she just freeball it bleeding out her sweet, precious, mythical, menstrual magnificence into the ocean with reckless abandon so that if a random scuba diver named Aiden from Newport Beach with floopy blond hair is swimming by and perchance catches a glorious taste, his heart explodes with love and affection and his head pops off his body and his scuba diving companion William is at his funeral just like “I know y’all will never believe me because I used to drop acid when I attended college but my best friend died after inhaling Mermaid Period then his head popped off his body and a shark ate it good night 😢.” Bam. Straight like that. It will be beautifully rich, reddish in color, deliciously fragrant, and invigorating - just like regular Period (But I’ll call it Mermaid Period because y’all love it when these beverage companies are extra 🤗). Coming to your grocery aisle fall 2018. Starbucks, Peet’s and Dark Matter - y’all on notice. Bless up 🤗😂😂😂
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    Best Friend, Bless Up, and College: You can see the meaning
 of the universe in those
 two eyes.
So my lil homegirl sent me a link to this coffee made by Dark Matter that’s called Unicorn Blood. Tried it. Not gon lie, delicious. But Unicorn Blood? Y’all doin too much. U coffee roasters Bruv a lot of y’all getting real comfortable selling good (but not life changing) coffee for $15.99 a bag and I’m thinking I might come for y’all. Coffee is my thing and if I had the time and the roasting equipment, I could stomp y’all out completely. And I know what I’d name my coffee blend, too: Mermaid Period. Y’all think Unicorn Blood is rare? Y’all ain’t seen rare. First of all a Unicorn is just a horse with a horn. That sh!t low key basic. A good plastic surgeon could make one. If a plastic surgeon could make the Kardashians Black bruv? He could throw a horn on a horse nah that’s basic. Mermaids? Bruv that’s half woman half fish. Up top she a sexy, comely ginger with seashells on her Tetas. Waist down? All flipper. Where’s the Punani? Exactly. Even if a mermaid had a Punani (which she can’t because issa flipper), would she even have a period? How? Do she wear faded, washed 7,000 times, soft-as-silk (😍) Period panty granny panties over her flipper? Or do she just freeball it bleeding out her sweet, precious, mythical, menstrual magnificence into the ocean with reckless abandon so that if a random scuba diver named Aiden from Newport Beach with floopy blond hair is swimming by and perchance catches a glorious taste, his heart explodes with love and affection and his head pops off his body and his scuba diving companion William is at his funeral just like “I know y’all will never believe me because I used to drop acid when I attended college but my best friend died after inhaling Mermaid Period then his head popped off his body and a shark ate it good night 😢.” Bam. Straight like that. It will be beautifully rich, reddish in color, deliciously fragrant, and invigorating - just like regular Period (But I’ll call it Mermaid Period because y’all love it when these beverage companies are extra 🤗). Coming to your grocery aisle fall 2018. Starbucks, Peet’s and Dark Matter - y’all on notice. Bless up 🤗😂😂😂
                    
                
            

            
            
So my lil homegirl sent me a link to this coffee made by Dark Matter that’s called Unicorn Blood. Tried it. Not gon lie, delicious. But Unic...