Caught
Caught

Caught

First Ever
First Ever

First Ever

Holy Fuck
Holy Fuck

Holy Fuck

Fucked
Fucked

Fucked

Both
Both

Both

Petrol Price
Petrol Price

Petrol Price

amaze
amaze

amaze

holy fucking shit
 holy fucking shit

holy fucking shit

gold medal
 gold medal

gold medal

realistic
 realistic

realistic

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Ass, Fall, and Hail Mary: I almost died today. Here is the true story So Iwas derping in my backyard today, picking up dog crap. The whole time, my dog was just sitting there watching me, enjoying the sight. So I go to the small section in between my trampoline and my fence. Now if any of you haven't seen my trampoline, it is really old and there are these black foam things on the bars that used to hold up a net, but they are mostly destroyed now. So I walk in the narrow space, and I get completely covered by the hugest web I've ever felt. All over my face, all over my chest and shoulders. I freak out, but I realize that there is no worries. I see no spider, and it would have to be a big ass spider to concoct such a glorious web. Well, sure enough, in the middle of my struggle to break free, I look up, and slowly, ever so slowly, I see the huge, black-brown mass of a spider about the size of my fist crawl out of some old, decaying foam protectors. I stare at it; it stares back. I look closely for any threads connecting us, and there, glinting back at me with sunlight, is one strand of spider web, connecting the hulk spider to my face. It realizes the fact at the same time as me, and thinks, "Yes! This boy's eye sockets will make excellent breeding holes for my eggs!! and starts a full on crawling sprint towards me. I freak out, and begin to struggle even more and more to release myself from this web. It reaches the halfway mark and sees me begin to escape, so it goes for gold. The Hail Mary play. A daring leap straight for the head. Time slows down. This thing has all legs extended, blocking out the sun. A sure death for me. My left arm breaks free from the web. This could be my chance! A quick and decisive left cross reaches the spider JUST in time knocking the behemoth against the fence. It looks dazed; begins to squirm around on the ground, preparing for a counteroffensive. I don't give it a chance. I take the poop shovel in both my hands, shout a battle cry of pure victorious slaughter and smash my enemy into a crumpled pile, each strike emanating a loud crunch of the monster's body.I emerge the survivor in this battle. Thank you video games, for my improved reaction time, lest I fall victim to fate Unlike Comment Share 3 hours ago you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com epicjohndoe: This Man Should Write A Novel
America, Bitch, and Christmas: Anonymous said: Turns out the gift is from America anyways just to fxck with England's head Anonymous said: It's America specifically because he said it couldn't have been Anonymous said: France, maybe? Oh, or maybe Canada? Anonymous said: Is it France who gave you the gift? just-your-average-loser said: Is the present from Japan by any chance? heartoffawn said: I bet Canada is your secret Santa! Anonymous said: um... France? Does he count under Japan and his friends? whendaylightstrikes said Merry Christmas! The gift is from Canada, right?! amethyst-haiku said: if i'm being honest that sounds like berwald's work. he may be a man of few words, and have that male equivalent resting bitch face, but yeah. Anonymous said I think that is a Harry Potter book, idk Anonymous said: FRANCE GAVE YOU THE GIFT, I KNOW IT, I SMELL IT Anonymous said: Canada- Canada is most likely the one who is your secret Santa- Well, either Canada or Japan- aph-ask-england: aph-ask-england: (( Trans: To: England, from Italy…“This is a photo of all of us this year! France helped me with the colours, Japan helped me wrap it and Canada and America engraved it in gold paint! –Isn’t that cool? It’s really a gift from all of us, I think. Anyway, sorry about crashing at your place last year when Finland needed our help! Your house isn’t nearly as scary as I thought it would be! Buon Natale – Italy” Admin/mun note: Thank you to everyone that participated with comments, reblogs and asks! I hope this was a fun, unexpected surprise for everyone! A little love can come from anywhere 3 3 3 Remember to spread the Christmas spirit today! Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays! Correct answers: A picture/frame from ITALY Special thanks to: @just-your-average-loser@heartoffawn @whendaylightstrikes @amethyst-haiku @nyocanada15  @jehdyn @yastothetrash@frukspamanogerita @failingatlifeobviously@franceissexy@transboipopplio @kirklandarthurs@hetaliaandother@suck-it-loser@miaoubutton@americancirconflex@eternallyawkward137And many more….! )) (( Said participants are welcome to message me and receive a free, full-size image of the Christmas photo as a commission piece if they would like— as a present from me for Christmas! ))