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Advice, Being Alone, and Anaconda: An Econ Teacher Gave His Senior Highschool Students His Personal List Of Wisest Words..And They Make A Lot Of Sense. 1 There are plenty of ways to enter a pool The stairs is not one of them 2 Never cancel dinner plans by text message. 3. Don't knock it till you try it 4. a stree performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck 5 Always use we when referring to your home 6. When entrusted with a secret, keep it. 7. Don't underestimate free throws in a game of HORSE. 8 lust because you can doesn't mean you should 9. Don't dumb yourself down. 10 You only get one chance to notice new hairout. 11 If you're staying more than one night, unpack 12. Never park in front of a bar 13. Expect the seat in front of you to redine. Prepare 14. Keep a picture of your first fish, first cer, and first 15. Hold your heroes to a high standard. 17 Never lie to your doctor 18 All guns are 19. Don't mention sunburns. Believe me, they know. 20. The best way to show thanks is to wear it Even if it's only once. 21 Take and TV once vacation of your cell phone, internet, year 22. Don't fill up on bread, no matter how good. 24 Don't linger in the doorway. in or out 25. If you choose to go in drag, don't sell yourself short. 26. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for 27 Never get your haircut the day of a special 28 Be mindful of what comes between you and the Earth Ahways buy good shoes, tires and sheets. 29. Never eat unch at your desk If you can avoid it 30. When you're with new friends, don't just tak 31. Eat unch with the new kids 32. When traveling, keep your wits about you No 33. It's never too late for an apology. 34. Don't pose wth boore. It's unbecoming. 5. If you have the right of way, TAKE IT 36. You don't get to choose your own nickname. 37, When you marry someone, remember you marry 39. Under nocrcumstances should you ask ง woman 40. it'snot enough to be proud of your ancestry, ive up to t 41. Don't make a 42. When giving a thank you speech, short and sweet 44. Never glost 46. Make time for your mother on your birthday. It'sa special day for her too 47. When opening presents, no one lices &a good guesver 48. Sympathy Is a crutch Never take ล limp. 49, Give credit, Take biame 50. Suck it up every now and then. 51. Never be the last one in the pool 52. Don't stare. 53. Address everyone that carries a firearm 54. Stand up to bulies, You only have to do it once. 55. fyoul've made your point, stop talking 56. Admit it when you're wrong 7. it you offer to help don't quit until the job is done 58. Look people in the eye when you thank them 60. Never answer the phone at the dinner table. 61. Forgive yoursef for your mistakes. 62. Know at least one good joke. 63. Don't boo Even the ref is somebody's son one good meal 65, Leam to drive manual/stick shift. 66. Be cool to yourger kids. Reputations are built over 67. It's okay to po to the movies by yourself 68. Dance with your mother/Tather 69. Don't lose your cool. Especialy at work 0. Always thank the host 71. It you don't understand, ask before it's too late. 72. Know the size of your boyfriend girtriend's 73 There is nothing wrong with a plain t shirt. 74. De a good ästener. Don't just take your turn to 5. eep your word, 76. In colege always sit near the front. You'll stand our immediately and come grade time it will oome in handy. 7. Carry your mother's begs, She carried you for 9 78. Be pacient with arport security. They are just 79. Don't be the talker in a movie. 80. The oppesite svex ikes people who shower. 81. You are what you da. Nat what you say 82. Learn to change tire 83. Be kind Everyone has a hard fight ahead 84. An hour with grandparents is time we spent. Ask for advice when you need it Don't itter 86, tf you have ฮ sister, get to know her 87. You won't always be the strongest or fastest. But you can't be the toughest 89. Duy the orange properties in Monopoly 90. Make the littie things count. 91 92. There is a fine line between loaking suitry and slutty. Find it 93. 94. You're never too old to need your Mom. Ladies, 2 you make the decision to wee hees on the first dste commit to keeping them on and keeping your trap shut about how much your feet kil 96. Your dance moves might not be the best. but i promise making a fool of yourself is more fun than sitting on the bench alone 99. Being old is not dictated by your bedtime 100. If you HAVE to fight, punch first and punch hard. epicjohndoe: Wise Words From A Smart Teacher
Children, Comfortable, and Food: "Travel isnit always pretty It isn't always comfortable Sometimes it hurts, it even breaks your heart. But that's okay. The journey changes you; it should change you. It leaves marks on your memorY, Your consciousness, on your heart, and on your body. You take something with you. Hopefully, you leave something good behind." Anthony Bourdain June 25, 1956 June 8, 2018 aliofbabylon: “I used to believe that the human race as a whole was basically a few steps above wolves. That given the slightest change in circumstances, we would all, sooner or later, tear each other to shreds. That we were, at root, self-interested, cowardly, envious and potentially dangerous in groups. I have since come to believe — after many meals with many different people in many, many different places — that though there is no shortage of people who would do us harm, we are essentially good. That the world is, in fact, filled with mostly good and decent people who are simply doing the best they can. Everybody, it turns out, is proud of their food (when they have it). They enjoy sharing it with others (if they can). They love their children. They like a good joke. Sitting at the table has allowed me a privileged perspective and access that others, looking principally for “the story,” do not, I believe, always get. People feel free, with a goofy American guy who has expressed interest only in their food and what they do for fun, to tell stories about themselves — to let their guard down, to be and to reveal, on occasion, their truest selves. … People, wherever they live, are not statistics. They are not abstractions. … I’m not saying that sitting down with people and sharing a plate is the answer to world peace. Not by a long shot. But it can’t hurt.” - Anthony Bourdain

aliofbabylon: “I used to believe that the human race as a whole was basically a few steps above wolves. That given the slightest change in ...

America, Ass, and Friends: salparadisewasright: evilkitten3: glitterytiddies timsutton cbfplr: This is the world's largest crystal ruby. Mark Mothersbaugh had the gem carved in the shape of an ice cream cone. A few years ago I became friends with a gemologist, and I saw all these gems that he had lying around, one of which was this big ugly stone that I picked up. 'That's the world's largest ruby you're holding." He didn't know what to do with it, so next time I saw him l asked if I could carve it. It's right over there. [Points across the room to a glass case.] I was thinking: Who do you sell the world's largest ruby to? Somebody who's uber-rich. And people don't get uber-rich unless there's something dark attached to it. It's always communists in China, or drug dealers in South America, or oil people in Russia. It's those kinds of people who are going to want the world's largest ruby. And I wanted to fuck with them in some way. So l said: I'm going to carve it into a turd. But it will look like a custard them in I'm going set it on top of a cone, and it will look like a sweet-treat, but really it's a turod. They'll buy it because it's the world's largest ruby, but only I'll know that it's a turd." - Mark Mothersbaugh Chaotic good i have a new hero That got Mothersbaugh thinking. He asked if he could carve it. The gemologist asked what he'd turn it into. "I'd like to carve it into a turd, so whoever owns the world's largest ruby, they have to buy a turd to get it, he answered. It seemed like a good joke at the time, but a few weeks later, the two were talking again. "He goes, Hey, Mark, I was just at the King of Saudi Arabia's house and I told him what you wanted to do with the ruby and he laughed his ass off and he said, Let him do it." The completed sculpture is called Ruby Kusturd So it turns out you CAN polish a turd