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Af, Ass, and Big Dick: fleur-cannnon: afairlypudgycat: whiskeyworen: jaxblade: norseminuteman: red-faced-wolf: kasaron: bears-for-the-bear-god: the-goddamn-doomguy: captainsnoop: big dick energy Exactly the kind of response Doomguy should get when he walks into a room with other humans. This is genuinely beyond big dick energy It’s honestly Argent Phallus Energy (APE) Holy shit Everyone is talking about key-card guy, but my favorite is the dude who tries to hide behind his swivel chair. Babe, babe, No, Doomguy jumps dick first into hell portals on an hourly basis and pops berserker power ups like your mom pops xanax. That chair aint doin SHIT.  Also I love how they don’t just seem to be afraid of the fact that the apex predator of the Legions of Armageddon just walked in. They are acting like they think he might attack them, because you know the UAC has waged a serious PR war against Doom-Chad while he’s been kicking ass on Mars/Hell.   ALPHA AF!!! I just love the fact that DoomGuy spots the keycard on the dude’s lanyard, and instead of doing a vicious yank, or simply snapping it off the lanyard like he always does, he very, VERY carefully takes it, and slowly pulls the dude to the scanner, before letting him go.For a dude filled with eternal rage and seething violence, that was remarkably polite of him. It was almost his “…Excuse me. I require this. Pardon my reach.”Then that poor marine. “Hey YOU! You can’t… be… here…” DoomGuy just casually approaches, looks at him, looks at his gun, and then still remarkably politely, just takes it. Doesn’t wrench it away, or kill the guy, or anything violent. Just reaches out and retrieves it. Again, like “You are doing a fine job. That’s a fine weapon. Mind if I see it? *takes it and walks away*”It’s as if he’s being very, VERY careful not to harm normal humans (or whatever augmented humans those armored marines qualify as), saving his violence specifically for the Daemonic.Kinda supports my idea that DoomGuy isn’t neccessarily a bloodthirsty raging psycho. He’s a guy who has seen so much, done SO MUCH… that he’s calm. He’s so far beyond wrath at the demons that he’s entered a weird Calm and just LIVES there. Nothing shakes him of it. He doesn’t grunt, he doesn’t yell, he doesn’t scream, he just breathes and moves on. New demon? Well, it’ll bleed like the last. He doesn’t revel in combat, he just moves through it like walking through air; it’s a function of existence for him. Doomguy dissociating 100% of the time Within the first few minutes of Doom 2016 and throughout much of the remainder of the game it’s clear that Doomguy values human life A LOT. Humans are never his enemy, it’s the demons. He looks at the dead man in the elevator as Hayden says something along the lines of “I swear it was for the greater good.” Doomguy sees right in front of him it wasn’t, and I betcha right then Doomguy was against Hayden. Doomguy doesn’t take kindly to crimes against humanity, even if accidental.
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Crying, Dumbledore, and Fucking: stephenhawqueen a harry potter au where potions is taught by gordon ramsay malfoycat neville: *messes up his potion* gordon ramsay: *holds neville between two slices of bread* what are you neville: an idiot sandwich iamthepureblindraven no no no Imagine that this is Gordon Ramsay a la Masterchef Junior Neville: *messes up the potion, realizes it, starts crying quietly* GR: What's going on? Neville: explains how he messed up* GR: Oh gosh okay...we can fix this, don't cry, see, it's fine now? Just be more careful when you're adding the Newt's eyes, all right? Drop them in gently. There we go. No more tears Neville: *giggles wetly, wiping eyes mira-of-sassgard Yes, he only screams when he's dealing with people that claim to know what they're doing and clearly dont, when hes teaching he's very kind and patient because they're stil learning wickedbitchofthewestcoast Hed probably do the bread thing to Malfoy therewerenorelevanturlsavailable nononononono. I get that Malfoy is a bit of a twat, but hes still a kid. It'd be the teachers fucking up that he'd have trouble with Ramsay: All you had to do was treat it with a fucking Beozar! Slughorn: It was a stressfu- Ramsay: How long have you been teaching potions?! or Ramsay: So you're going to raise this boy SPECIFICALLY so he can die as part of your twisted little scheme? Dumbledore: It's for the greater good, professor Ramsay: The greater fucking good?! holds two slices of bread either side of dumbledoor's face* What are you? Dumbledore: Am I, per chance, an idiot sandwich? Ramsay: Yes, you fucking are marauders4evr Okay, now I can reblog it! theiguanaamarillaart Idiot sandwich
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Ass, Crying, and Dumbledore: a harry potter au where potions is taught by gordon ramsay malfoycat neville: "messes up his potion gordon ramsay: "holds neville between two slices of bread what are you neville: an idiot sandwich no no no Imagine that this is Gordon Ramsay a la Masterchef Junior Neville: "messes up the potion, realizes it, starts crying quietly GR: What's going on? Neville: "explains how he messed up* GR: Oh gosh okay.. we can fix this, don't cry, see, it's fine now? Just be more careful when you're adding the Newt's eyes, all right? Drop them in gently. There we go. No more tears. Neville: "giggles wetly, wiping eyes mira-of sassgard Yes, he only screams when he's dealing with people that claim to know what they're doing and clearly dont, when he's teaching he's very kind and patient because they're still learning He'd probably do the bread thing to Malfoy nononononono. I get that Malfoy is a bit of a twat, but he's still a kid It'd be the teachers fucking up that he'd have trouble with Ramsay: All you had to do was treat it with a fucking Beozarl Slughom: It was a stressfu- Ramsay: How long have you been teaching potions?! Ramsay: So you're going to raise this boy SPECIFICALLY so he can die as part of your twisted little scheme? Dumbledore: It's for the greater good, professor Ramsay: The greater fucking good?! holds two slices of bread either side of dumbledoor's face What are you? Dumbledore: Am I, per chance, an idiot sandwich? Ramsay: Yes, you fucking are. Okay, nowl can reblog it My favorite Gordon Ramsey moment is from the latest season of Master Chef Jr Gordon had run in to help a group of struggling kids with a team challenge and one of the older kids, a 12 year old boy, wasn't passing attention while taking a pan out of the oven and not only spilled all the food but scalded Gordon It's clear Gordon's leg is in pain. He's been badly bumed without warning. But he doesn't scream. He doesn't yell, not even in pain, and he doesn't go off on the child who is now frozen in fear. He calmly tells the child to set the pan down and to close the oven, safety first. Then tells him to go restart the food he was making, calm instructions My husband and I grew up in abusive homes where any mistake meant parents getting angry (my husband is terrified of spills or broken glasses because that meant beatings growing up, for me, anything going wrong, that could upset my mother, even if it wasn't my fault meant screaming and emotional abuse) I didn't know someone could be so calm. That someone could not get angry, and put aside what they're feeling (in this case a lot of physical pain) and not take it out on those around them, even when someone around them had messed up, because child that person is a Gordon Ramsey is a survivor of child abuse himself and as an adult, the most non-abusive person ever when it comes to kids. im going to cry can gordon ramsey be my parent this sound so beautifu ohmytheon Please take a moment to picture Gordon Ramsay taking over Potions when Snape becomes the DADA professor (instead of Slughorn) and not only being horrified when he realizes how terrified the students are that he'll verbally abuse them when they mess up in Potions class but when he overhears how Snape treats students. Like can you IMAGINE the level of RAGE and CONTEMPT that Ramsay would harbor towards Snape? The asshat wouldn't have made it to the end of HBP. Ramsay would've hexed his ass to kingdom come. xtaticpearl Chef Ramsay would have become the kids' favourite teacher and you can't take that away from me Imagine him dealing with Umbridge Hogwarts Potions Professor Gordon Ramsay
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