🔥 Popular | Latest

Beautiful, Dude, and Memes: spacehumans-inspace Humans are ADAPTABLE. As FUCK. Just because something happens to a limb, or part of the body, or a sense, it doesn't actually mean anything. Loose a limb? Put a new one on. Broken bone split open the skin? Pop it back into place and stitch it up. Paralyzed/ physically incapacitated? Wheelchair. Heart problems? Here's a new one. Or, even better, a ROBOT one. Blind? Well, who's to say we don't just outright develop echolocation? Humans are are amazing at adapting to situations that would totally ruin or kill any amount of other species Our adaptability and ingenuity in the application of tools and aides set us apart from other alien species, because who else, apart from stubborn, mad geniuses, would think 'right, something's broken beyond all repair? Or even gone completely? We can sort that out. "Right. So, you're telling me, that you lost BOTH of your legs in war, and instead of dying because you've lost half your body, you just... stuck new ones on?" "Basically, yeah. They're bio-mechanical and detachable. Wanna see?" "Wait, you're paralyzed from the waist down? But surely that's enough of an excuse to... stop working? Rest? You're stuck in that wheeled contraption! Isn't that horrendously awkward and tiring?" "Stuck? Dude, if I didn't have a wheelchair, THEN I'd be stuck. It can be awkward, sure, when places don't have ramps and wide enough doors and stuff, but apart from that, the chair lets me... be free again. It allows me to move and be a contributing human being again. Just, yknow. I've got wheels instead of legs." "You're blind? Wait, if you can't see, then why are you on this ship? Our visually impaired never pass even the first level of clearance Well, I'm hardly a navigator, am I? I'm a translator, I don't need to see. I can speak five earth languages and seven alien languages, and I can get around perfectlyI fine, thank you very much. Besides, that's why l've got my cane "But... you can't see? How can you read?" "Braille, mate. Besides, nobody writes anymore. It's all audio or that brain transmission telepathy shit anyway. "Your crewmate appears to act differently to most other humans I've encountered?" "Oh, Alec? He's lovely. He's got this thing called Aspergers, and whilst there's nothing technically wrong with him, it just means he... he processes things differently to someone without it. He doesn't understand jokes or sarcasm or anything, but he's really kind, and has an amazing green thumb. He tends to the onboard gardens." Right, so I've tried to make a little bit of disability positivity in this little drabble here. If anything I've written here upsets anyone, or appears as incorrect, I apologize sincerely! 2,474 notas positive-memes 99+ Humans are beautiful
Save
Be Like, Club, and Fake: a tale of trees and espionage okay story time: my professor (lovely man, married to our TA, 52", about as So studies trees. it was about three hours into our social sciences course, last lecture before exams, everyone was frazzled and exhausted, so he told us about his most exciting/in-depth research to date to cheer us up. (the few of us who actually showed up were like ok sir im sure its fascinating but in our minds we were totally like its trees what. is. exciting. about trees. You might be wondering the same thing-the acorns? the leaves? the roots? BUT NO. IMMA FUCKIN TELL YA.) ANYWAY we settle in, he had a few pictures loaded up from his field work (we were chuckling at this point.... 'hehehe field work' i giggled to my frend. its trees.) and began to tell his tale. it's long, imma warn you, but.... god. just read it theres an species of tree called the cucumber tree(Magnolia in our region there's only-280 that are registered by the government, yadda yadda yadda, my prof thought that was tragic (i know) but also strange, because when he was writing his thesis about local trees years ago, he kept coming across cucumber trees in really random places. we're talking like etc. IMPOSSIBLE because, according to tree very strictly protected by the govenment, and thus super legai to possess, transport, collect, buy or sell any part of a living or dead member of a listed species if it originates from sources. essentially, the govt takes control over g the trees and anyone who independently raises them is breaking the law (i kno) so he'd ask people "do you have a permit for these trees?" and they were like "uh no, it's just a tree someone sold me,i think it looks nice, are you gonna arrest me?" so he'd be like nah nah nah just tell me who sold it to you" eventually, months/years later, someone did, and turns out it was like this underground sort-of illegal tree dealing club (i know). so my prof went, got a bit of funding from the government, who were getting pissed at independent cucumber tree numbers, and THIS IS WHERE IT GETS INTO THE GOOD SHIT I STS he infitrates the tree trafficking organization. he buys a cucumber tree from an independent nursery, raises it for months, ensures he gets noticed by the traffickers, and then INFILTRATES it and convinces its leader to LET HIM JOIN he has to pay like a steep entrance fee, which he does (and it blows my mind that the government of my country paid money to illegal tree dealers), but then he is given full access to records and maps because they think he's one of them, not now this part blows my mind because the tree lords don't even have to try very hard to find cucumber trees because government agents MARK THE TREES AND DISTINCTLY TAG THEM SAYING THIS IS ENDANGERED DO NOT hangs out with the members so much that he figures out their hit spots". these are where the trees are relatively secluded and unguarded. (he writes all this shit and numbers down for BUT THATS NOT ENOUGH BECAUSE THE GOVT SAYS HES WASTING THEIR FUNDING IF HE DOESNT HAVE PROOF and they are willing to take LEGAL ACTION for misuse of funding (my prof doesn't have the money nore time nor power to take them to court, which would also blow his cover). so my prof literally STAKES OUT a copse of cucumber trees at a recognized wildlife reserve for. DAYS. he camps there, and watches the trees, is about to give up, he's going off an unreliable rumor from the traffickers that a harvester would be going there within the next week. finally, this guy comes and takes the cucumber tree seeds from the CLEARLY MARKED trees by the government, and my prof takes pictures (we are shown these pictures, most of us are speechless at this point). dozens of candid shots of a man my grandpa's age with a grocery store bag, garden shears, and a ladder, clipping away the illegal seeds and then going on his way so my prof has the proof, he's been undercover for months now at this point, he writes up his report, gives it to the government who is likeoh shit", helps them draft up a new LESS COMPLETELY FUCKING OBVious way of marking e wouldn't damage them further, etc.), and then never retuns to the tree traffickers. he'd given them a fake name, address, (so that way there was a full minute of stunned silence from us students at this point, during which he grew more and more nervous (again, he's a muffin) and all of us students are just like whoa. we asked him what happened to the remaining illegal cucumber trees & if he turned the tree dealers in to the government, and that is when he smiles a little bit and shows us the last few pictures. because here's the kicker... he never turned the smugglers in. he burned all the data he collected, defied the government pressuring him to turn them in, and the only reason he's not incarcerated is because his work is so prominent in certain circles now & universities love him, that there would be an uproar if he got arrested. he's like a fucking anti-hero and then he tells us (ill never forget, it's the most inspirational green-thumb thing in the world) "it may be illegal', but those who risk their liberty to-save the world- should never be reprimanded, no matter what we are all stunned. some of us are considering dendrology as a field we'd now be interested in pursuing. he clicks his slide one final time, before we leave our last lecture and, since he had an asthma attack (lil muffin) he didn't attend our exam, so and there, on the slides, the last picture? THERE HE IS. in his own backyard. with his equally lovely TA wife. both grinning GROWN. ILLEGAL. CUCUMBER TREE 72,767 Tree espionage
Save
Blessed, Food, and Money: FOOD THAT Growing anything from a seed is impressive but also difficult, unless you're blessed with a green thumb. THaT MAGICALLY REGEROWS ITSELF Sure, it saves on money but there has to be an easier way... and there is! You can actually grow food from kitchen scraps. There is something very MacGyver about It's true! You can upcycle everything from celery scraps to onion butts with chance of success. Use organic fruits and vegetables for the best results. that, no? a great Green onions, lemongrass, leeks, fennel, & spring onions FOR LEMONGRASS ONLY Place root ends in water but don't fully submerge them. Change the water daily In 3-5 days, growth begins. Harvest the greens when full, then repeat the process Harvest lemongrass once it becomes a foot tall. Simply cut off what you need without uprooting the plant. Celery, cabbage, romaine lettuce, & bok chou Submerge the roots, leaving the tops above the water line. Spray with water a couple times a week, replacing the water every few days. Leaves will sprout in about a week. Plant the cutting with only the leaves above soil. Harvest when fully grown, about 5 months. Ginger Soak the chunk of ginger overnight. Submerge in moist soil. Keep watering until shoots appear Ready to harvest in a year. Simply remove entire plant, use what you need and repeat. Onion Plant root end and lightly cover it in soil. Keep soil moist. Carefully separate the new onions, leaving the roots attached, and plant them. Occasionally cut the leaves down to promote full growth. It can take up to 5 months for plants to mature enough for harvest. Garlic The bulbs will be ready for harvest in early summer when the bottom 1/3 of the leaves have yellowed. The larger the clove, the larger the resulting bulb. Sit the plant in a sunny window keeping the soil moist. COMPOST REMOVE Mushroonm Use a mixture of compost and soil. Plant the mushroom stalk in the soil with only the surface of it exposed. If the cutting takes, new growth happens q Harvest and repeat. uickly 4 DEEP HOLE Potatoes& Sweet Potatoes 8 DEPTH Cut into 2 pieces, each having 1-2 "eyes" on it Set pieces out at room temp for a few days, until fully dry St ore sweet potatoes in a warm, dry place for 2 weeks before using. This is what makes them sweet. 12" APART Add more soil as the plant grows until i is about 6" tall Pineapple Slice off the green leafy top and remove all fruit. Carefully remove the bottom layers until you see root buds. Growth happens in the first few months but it will be Place in water for two weeks to form roots. 2-3 years before harvest. WHOLE FOODS COOKING STONED Content & Design Jerry James Stone /@jerryjamesstone Chris Rooney/ @looneyrooneycom tv M A R K E T <p>¡Comida infinita!</p>

¡Comida infinita!

Save