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normal-horoscopes: pooraurora: postmarxed: inkandcayenne: wilfulwayfarer: rasec-wizzlbang: dalaisa-katili: local-emo-mom: anarcho-individualist: explanatorypower: i dont understand this at all and america scares the fuck out of me This is the america they don’t want you to see i love america This is what you call Waffle House at 2 am when the bars close and everyone is drunk and hungry *group of people having fun*this site: wtf this is so scary People having safe fun at a waffle house is scary for most Tumblr bloggers, reports say. Some context for those not familiar with Waffle House Culture:  Waffle House is one of the few chains in America that’s open 24/7/365, and where you can get both breakfast and lunch/dinner options at any time (I have had so many Breakfast Cheeseburgers at Waffle Houses). The food is really good, and people eat there at all times of the day or night, but it’s particularly popular as a late-night post-drinking spot because it’s all that’s open and it’s the kind of food that tastes especially good when you’re hammered. Part of Waffle House Protocol is that all the servers and cooks greet every single customer as they come through the door. It sounds lame, but I’ve never been to a Waffle House where that greeting didn’t feel completely heartfelt. My mom is a health nut who could barely find anything on the menu she was willing to eat and yet she describes the Christmas Day lunch we had there one year as one of the nicest meals she’s ever had because everyone was so warm and welcoming. That sense of camaraderie gets turned up to 11, of course, at 2 a.m. when everyone’s shitfaced. The jukeboxes have Waffle-House-themed songs on them (once you have heard “Raisins in my Toast” you will be earwormed forever) and there is an arcane system of hash brown ordering: scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, topped, diced, peppered, and/or capped. The hot sauce bottles say “Casa de Waffle.”  Once, in Oxford (UK), my husband and I walked past a kebab van very late one night and he said “why do I smell Waffle House” The location of most Waffle Houses means there’s some… classism that tends to get tied up with Anti-Waffle House Discourse, which is probably lending itself, in part, to this being such a fraught topic. (I’m looking at a map and apparently I was born and raised right in the middle of the Peak Waffle House Density Zone) It is, in the words of chef Anthony Bourdain, “indeed marvelous— an irony-free zone where everything is beautiful and nothing hurts; where everybody regardless of race, creed, color or degree of inebriation is welcomed.” We’re not even gonna mention FEMA’s Waffle House Index where they determine how bad a natural disaster is by calling the local Waffle House to see if they’re open? #and wafflehouse is one of those spiritual places#2am friendships#its the same hazy feel#of cicadas and front porches with your friends Waffle House is physical and spiritual neutral territory. Starting shit in a Waffle House isn’t just bad form, it tips the entire natural balance of the universe against you. : normal-horoscopes: pooraurora: postmarxed: inkandcayenne: wilfulwayfarer: rasec-wizzlbang: dalaisa-katili: local-emo-mom: anarcho-individualist: explanatorypower: i dont understand this at all and america scares the fuck out of me This is the america they don’t want you to see i love america This is what you call Waffle House at 2 am when the bars close and everyone is drunk and hungry *group of people having fun*this site: wtf this is so scary People having safe fun at a waffle house is scary for most Tumblr bloggers, reports say. Some context for those not familiar with Waffle House Culture:  Waffle House is one of the few chains in America that’s open 24/7/365, and where you can get both breakfast and lunch/dinner options at any time (I have had so many Breakfast Cheeseburgers at Waffle Houses). The food is really good, and people eat there at all times of the day or night, but it’s particularly popular as a late-night post-drinking spot because it’s all that’s open and it’s the kind of food that tastes especially good when you’re hammered. Part of Waffle House Protocol is that all the servers and cooks greet every single customer as they come through the door. It sounds lame, but I’ve never been to a Waffle House where that greeting didn’t feel completely heartfelt. My mom is a health nut who could barely find anything on the menu she was willing to eat and yet she describes the Christmas Day lunch we had there one year as one of the nicest meals she’s ever had because everyone was so warm and welcoming. That sense of camaraderie gets turned up to 11, of course, at 2 a.m. when everyone’s shitfaced. The jukeboxes have Waffle-House-themed songs on them (once you have heard “Raisins in my Toast” you will be earwormed forever) and there is an arcane system of hash brown ordering: scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, topped, diced, peppered, and/or capped. The hot sauce bottles say “Casa de Waffle.”  Once, in Oxford (UK), my husband and I walked past a kebab van very late one night and he said “why do I smell Waffle House” The location of most Waffle Houses means there’s some… classism that tends to get tied up with Anti-Waffle House Discourse, which is probably lending itself, in part, to this being such a fraught topic. (I’m looking at a map and apparently I was born and raised right in the middle of the Peak Waffle House Density Zone) It is, in the words of chef Anthony Bourdain, “indeed marvelous— an irony-free zone where everything is beautiful and nothing hurts; where everybody regardless of race, creed, color or degree of inebriation is welcomed.” We’re not even gonna mention FEMA’s Waffle House Index where they determine how bad a natural disaster is by calling the local Waffle House to see if they’re open? #and wafflehouse is one of those spiritual places#2am friendships#its the same hazy feel#of cicadas and front porches with your friends Waffle House is physical and spiritual neutral territory. Starting shit in a Waffle House isn’t just bad form, it tips the entire natural balance of the universe against you.
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patient-positivity: gods-little-punk: avatarpotato: dragonpyre: snicketty-snook: jacksoopticboop: anticoffeebeans: viostormcaller: actually-al: pixiis-blog: astudyingreer: fairyofsomething: hidingoutbackstage: I’m right and I should say it Wait. How are peoples with siblings greeting eachother then? “Hey” “Hey” “Hey Dork.” “I am not a dork.” “Yes you are. And mom wants to talk to you.” “Whats up buttholes” “Shut up Loser” “Hey maaaan” “Hey maaaaan” Or “Hey stoop-stoops” “No” “Who are you?” “Hey shithead” “Hey dickface” “Whaddup slut” *Hey ‘name of sibling’**Get out of my room* “Hey nerd”“What do you want” “Sup bitch” “Fuck off” *steps into the room and stares at them until they notice and stare back for a solid 15 seconds, neither of you move a muscle* “what” “what do you want for dinner” That last one!!! I greet my brother with “sup homeboy” and he consistently replies with “shut up”.: sibling-less writers "hey sis." "hey little bro!" ro!» patient-positivity: gods-little-punk: avatarpotato: dragonpyre: snicketty-snook: jacksoopticboop: anticoffeebeans: viostormcaller: actually-al: pixiis-blog: astudyingreer: fairyofsomething: hidingoutbackstage: I’m right and I should say it Wait. How are peoples with siblings greeting eachother then? “Hey” “Hey” “Hey Dork.” “I am not a dork.” “Yes you are. And mom wants to talk to you.” “Whats up buttholes” “Shut up Loser” “Hey maaaan” “Hey maaaaan” Or “Hey stoop-stoops” “No” “Who are you?” “Hey shithead” “Hey dickface” “Whaddup slut” *Hey ‘name of sibling’**Get out of my room* “Hey nerd”“What do you want” “Sup bitch” “Fuck off” *steps into the room and stares at them until they notice and stare back for a solid 15 seconds, neither of you move a muscle* “what” “what do you want for dinner” That last one!!! I greet my brother with “sup homeboy” and he consistently replies with “shut up”.
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lolzandtrollz:Best Customer Service Ever: a Live Chat with Amazon.com- Google Chrome https://www.amazon.com/gp/help/c45e-9461b3f74d40&token &callMeC2Cld-e7bd2 Sound End Chat 3 Chat You are now connected to Amazon from Amazon.com Me: Tracking shows delivered but shipment not recieved Amazon: Warmest greetingsmy name is Thor Me: Greeting, Thor. Can I be Odin? Odin, Father, How art thy doing on this here fine day? Amazon: Thor, my son. Agony raises upon my life Me: Amazon: This is outrageous! Who dares defy The All Father Odin! What has occured to cause this agony? Me: I am afraid the book I ordered to defeat our enemies has been misplaced. How can we keep Valhalla intact without our sacred book. Amazon: This is blasphemy! Wherever this book has been taken to, I shall make it my duty to get it back to youl I fear it is Loki but I dare not blame him for such things. I shall have your fortune returned to you and thereafter we can begin to create a new quest in order to get the book back to you. Very well my son. Me: Allow me some time to round up my allies and complete this please Father. Amazon: Me: Do it for me Thor, but most imporantly do it for the mortals whose destiny (and grades) rely on this book. Amazon: Alas, the treasure has been returned to you. You now need to reinstate the book into your archive so that you may yet receive it soon I shall have the Valkyrie deliver it to you as fast as their wings can move Me: ok so roleplay aside i have my money back and i reorder the book haha yes I have refunded you and you need to reorder the book Amazon: Me: Great Have you placed the order Amazon: Me: let me do that done Amazon: Okay let me edit it for you That good? Me: Wow hooking me up with one day delivery? Sweet haha yeah man gotta get you your book asap! Amazon: Me: Ive heard Amazon had great customer service and this just proves it! thanks man Amazon: No problemIs there any other issue or question that I can help you with? Me: Nah that was it. Really appreciate it Anytime bro. Have a great day. Goodbye Odin Amazon: Me: Bye my son Send Amazon from Amazon.com is online Secure Connection lolzandtrollz:Best Customer Service Ever

lolzandtrollz:Best Customer Service Ever

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tearlessrain: tearlessrain: this is in perfect iambic meter and sounds like the first line of a weird poem Rule #2 Don’t ever hug a lobster when you see one on the street, For decorum is essential when a lobster you must greet. You may comment on the weather, compliment his choice of hat, But crustaceans like their space if one should stop them for a chat. Don’t ever hug a lobster when you’re strolling down the coast, Simply nod and give a greeting, or a handshake at the most, For a lobster’s first priority is formal social graces, And one seemes over-familiar if a lobster one embraces. Don’t ever hug a lobster when you meet one in the sea, For a lobster’s spines and chitin make it difficult, you see, And he might become self-conscious if you bring that fact to light, So don’t ever hug a lobster, simply put, it’s impolite. : Rule #2 don't ever hug a lobster when you see one on the street tearlessrain: tearlessrain: this is in perfect iambic meter and sounds like the first line of a weird poem Rule #2 Don’t ever hug a lobster when you see one on the street, For decorum is essential when a lobster you must greet. You may comment on the weather, compliment his choice of hat, But crustaceans like their space if one should stop them for a chat. Don’t ever hug a lobster when you’re strolling down the coast, Simply nod and give a greeting, or a handshake at the most, For a lobster’s first priority is formal social graces, And one seemes over-familiar if a lobster one embraces. Don’t ever hug a lobster when you meet one in the sea, For a lobster’s spines and chitin make it difficult, you see, And he might become self-conscious if you bring that fact to light, So don’t ever hug a lobster, simply put, it’s impolite.

tearlessrain: tearlessrain: this is in perfect iambic meter and sounds like the first line of a weird poem Rule #2 Don’t ever hug a lobst...

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