🔥 Popular | Latest

Bad, Butt, and Crying: Customer Review riz - Christine E. Torok A Just don't. Unless it's a gift for someone you hate October 3, 2012 Verified Purchase Oh man...words cannot express what happened to me after eating these. The Gummi Bear "Cleanse" If yo are someone that can tolerate the sugar substitute, enjoy. If you are like the dozens of people that tried my order, RUN! First of all, for taste I would rate these a 5. So good. Soft, true-to-taste fruit flavors like the sugar variety...l was a happy camper BUT (or should I say BUTT), not long after eating abo 20 of these all hell broke loose. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I've ever imagined. Cramps, sweating bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I've had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me. Then came the, uh, flatulence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell.. the stench, like 1,000 rotten corpses vomited. I couldn't stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors. But wait; there's more. What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. 100% liquid. Flammable liquid. NAPALM. It was actually a bit humorous (for a nanosecond)as it was just beyond anything I could imagine possible AND IT WENT ON FOR HOURS. I felt violated when it was over, which I think might have been sometime in the early morning of the next day. There was stuff coming out of me that I ate at my wedding in 2005 I had FIVE POUNDS of these innocent-looking delicious-tasting HELLBEARS so I told a friend about what happened to me, thinking it HAD to be some type of sensitivity I had to the sugar substitute, and in spite of my warnings and graphic descriptions, she decided to take her chances and take them off my hands. Silly woman. All of the same for her, and a phone call from her while on the toilet (because you kinda end up living in the bathroom for a spell) telling me she really wished she would have listened. I think she was crying Her sister was skeptical and suspected that we were exaggerating. She took them to work, since there was still 99% of a 5 pound bag left. She works for a construction company, where there are builders, roofers, house painters, landscapers, etc. Lots of people who generaly have limited access to toilets on a given day. I can't imagine where all of those poor men (and women) pooped that day. I keep envisioning men on roofs, crossing their legs and trying to decide if they can make it down the ladder, or if they should just jump If you order these, best of luck to you. And please, don't post a video review during the aftershocks. PS: When I ordered these, the warnings and disclaimers and legalese were NOT posted. I'm not a moron. Also, not sure why so many people assume l'm a man. I am a woman. We poop too. Of course, our poop sparkles and smells like a walk in a meadow of wildflowers. Thanks for all the great comments. I've been enjoying reading them and so glad that the horror show I experienced from snacking on these has at least made some people smile. 67,745 people found this helpful Helpful 50+ commentsReport abse Permalink Can you believe this is a review for Gummi Bears? LMAO!!!

Can you believe this is a review for Gummi Bears? LMAO!!!

Save
Desperate, Driving, and Finish Line: 1,681 of 1,937 people found the following review helpful This ruined my life, January 16, 2014 By GummyPoo See all my reviews This review is from: Haribo Gummi Bears Sugar Free 5lb Bag (Grocery) As a paramedic it is often difficult to not only eat at work, but to eat relatively healthy. I developed a sweet tooth one day and if theres one thing I love, its gummy snacks "Oh look! Sugar free gummy bears I haven't had gummy bears since I was in middle school!" I exclaimed to my partner. And the fact that they were sugar free practically made them healthy, right? I downed quite a few of them on the way to the next call and had finished the bag by the early August afternoon In the oppressive southern heat, we were dispatched to an unconscious person. As we traversed the city streets I began to get cold chills and cramps despite the triple digit temperatures. My abdomen was obviously bloated and the noises...oh god, the noises We arrived on scene and quickly loaded the critical patient into the ambulance. I grabbed a firefighter to ride with me in case the patient crashed before we got to the emergency room. In the back, the pressure was building against my dirty rosebud. I had to release something and thought that if I could just let some air out, I might not have to change my pants. I leaned to the side, putting pressure on one cheek to try to sneak it out without being noticed. I was able to get it off without soiling myself, but the smell...oh my gawd The fireman wrinkled his nose as I wiped the sweat from my face "Does she have a GI bleed? A necrotic bowel?" he asked As soon as we hit the ER doors I was off like a Kenyan on methamphetamine for the bathroom. I tried to use a hallway bathroom, but it was occupied. My only other option was the bathroom right outside the nurses station. I mean, it was RIGHT outside the nurses station. The door was a mere five feet from their desks. All those pretty, young, nurses. With no other option, I ran back, trying to keep my cheeks clinched Little staccato bursts of sulfuric farts punctuated each yard as I raced for the finish line hoping that I could keep my chocolate starfish clenched tight enough to stem the tide I ripped the door open and somehow managed to drop my pants without undoing my belt. What erupted sounded like a steamroller driving through a bubble wrap factory. I knew it was audible from the nurses station and I had nearly knocked a pretty blonde out of her chair during my mad dash. As the sense of relief from the pre over me, so did the with rotting body parts re washed ell. It smelled like someone took a bag of dirty diapers, filled it , and let it in the sun for two weeks I sat there, petrified, but also doubled over with the sort of cramps that make one pray for death "Tonya? What is that SMELL?!" came a voice from outside the door. I knew there was no escaping with my dignity intact. I sent a text to my partner from the bathroom telling her I was sick and to let me know when she was ready to leave. When she replied I dashed from the bathroom back to the ambulance "I gotta go home. I'm sick." I told her. We started back for the station and were a few miles away when we witnessed a car wreck. The kind of car wreck where you KNOW someone is injured and its hard to sneak past it when you're in an enormous truck that says, "AMBULANCE" We had more units responding and if I could just keep from sharting I'd be ok. I stepped out of the truck cramping and sweaty and knew I was in over my head. My partner walked to one car and I climbed into the back of the ambulance. I looked around, desperate for relief. I spotted the biohazard trashcan. Hmm I locked the doors and squatt my we but by then the floodgates on my rusty sheriffs badge had opened and I sprayed pure fecal evil into the can r the Was sma nd I kne on it witho this ion Now let me say that ambulances and all the parts and equipment on them, are built by the lowest bidder... this includes the locks on the doors. Attempting to retrieve a piece of equipment, my partner tried the door. Thinking the lock was just stuck she pulled on the handle hard. The chanism broke and we locked I unleashed anothe pure, concentrated gummy death that sounded like two events happening at once: the sound of we and like trying to burp with a mouthful of ies as I was cupping them in g s I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm s ick...SHUT THE DOOR!" . The door slamme ith. Now the the amin excrement that had the co it and placed it outside in a spare compartment. istency of watered down pancake batter? I triple bagged We blissfully made it back and I able to make it home, stopping only twice more to My partne r worked with me th the for their bathroom Thanks, Haribo
Save
Reddit, Bears, and Invest: Reddit users *dead celebrity* Adventure of the Gummi Bears has a whole goldmine! Invest fast, template below! via /r/MemeEconomy https://ift.tt/2TvmUjY

Adventure of the Gummi Bears has a whole goldmine! Invest fast, template below! via /r/MemeEconomy https://ift.tt/2TvmUjY

Save
Gif, Love, and Bears: Pebbles loves gummi bears and I love to watch her chew them.

Pebbles loves gummi bears and I love to watch her chew them.

Save
Anaconda, Bad, and Butt: HAR HARIBO HARIBO HARIB0 HARIBO MARIBO AARIBO HARIBO HARIBO HARIBO HARIBO HARIBO Just don't. Unless it's a gift for someone you hate., October 3, 2012 By Christine E. Torok fied P Oh man ords cannot express what happened to me after eating these. The Gummi Bear "Cleanse If you are someone that can tolerate the sugar substitute, enjoy If you are like the dozens of people that tried my order, RUN! First of a for taste I would rate these a 5. So good. Soft, true-to-taste fruit flavors like the sugar variety. was a happy camper BUT (or should I say BUTT), not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose had a gastrointestina experience like nothing I've ever imagined. Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare I've had ood poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almos like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me Then came the, uh, flatule ence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to He he h, like 1,000 to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors But wa more. What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a ood o aste. 100% liquid. Flammable orrentia OXIC quid. NAPALM was actually a bit humorous or a nanosecond)as was just beyond anything I could imagine possible AND IT WENT ON FOR HOURS d wh hich hink ght h been sometime in the early morning of the next day. There was stuff coming out of me tha ate at my wedding in 2005 I had FIVE POUNDS of these innocent-looking delicious asting HELLBEARS so old a friend abo hat happened to me, thinking it HAD to be some type of sensitivity I had to the sugar substitute, and in spite of my warnings and graphic descriptions, she decided to take her chances and take them off my hands Silly woman. All of the same for he and a phone ca Om he While on the toilet (because you kinda end up living in he bathroom for a spe elling me she really shed she would have listened. I think she was crying Her sister was skeptical and suspected that we were exaggerating. She took them to work, since there was s 99% of a 5 pound bag le She works for a construction company, where there are builders, roofers, house painters landscapers, etc. Lots of people who generally have limited access to toilets on a given day. I can magine where all of those poor men (and women) pooped that day. I keep envisioning men on roofs, crossing the egs and trying to decide if they can make it down the ladder, or if they should just jump If you order these, best of luck to you. And please, don't post a video review during the aftershocks PS: When ordered these, the arnings and disclaimers and egalese were NOT posted m not a moron. Also, not sure why so many people assume am a woman. We m a man poop too. Of course, our poop sparkles and smells like a alk in a meadow of wildflowers. Thanks for all the great comments. I've been enjoying reading them and so glad hat the horror show experienced from snacking on these has at least made some people smile
Save