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worth the read: PS Products A 10 PS Products Knuckle Blaster is a 950,000V Stun Gun with Batteries & Magnetic Leather Holster ea List Price: $69.99 Price: $62.54 Victory! By tdoog- May 5, 2013 I purchased this after I was confronted by punks demanding that I hand over my money. I'm a relatively fit guy, but I was no match for them. That is when I realized that I need to protect myself. The day after I bought this product I went to the very same Wal-Mart parking lot when I was first mugged. I approached the group of hooligans standing outside the entrance, concealing my secret weapon. some I cooly asked "Remember me?" One of them looked up and said, "Have you com back to buy some Samoas or Thin Mints? My Gi Scout Troop needs to raise more money!" I replied with "you're not taking my money this time". "But sir, they're delicious!", she said. I whipped out my Knuckle Blaster Stun Gun hand and shouted "WRONG MOVE B****" The five giri scouts ran away screaming. As I pounded my chest in victory, I accidentally activated the stun gun and applied 950,000 Volts to my right nipple. I woke up 4 hours later to the sound of heavy footsteps. Those Girl Scouts had brought their fathers. But I was ready. I lunged at the largest one with a cry of "RAGGLE FRAGGLE!!!" and hit him in the stomach. He hit the ground harder than a fat kid on a jungle gym. As the others began to circle around me,I changed techniques. Holding both of my hands in tight fists, I rased my arms to my sides and initiated the helicopter spin. They all backed off, fearing my impressive RPM. After a while I started getting dizzy, and one of the fathers decided to try to tackle me. As he ran to me stood there, dizzy and queasy; time was going real slow. Then I remembered. I had eaten lunch at Chipotle and the burrito was fighting its way back up my stomach. I tuned toward my enemy and launched a stream of projectile vomit at him, knocking him to the ground. Then I started singing "Let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the.... FLOOO00RRR!!!" I grabbed my Knuckle Blasher Stun Gun and shoved it into my mouth, running headfirst at my foes, electrocuting them with my teeth. Eventually they were all unconscious, and I walked home victorious. 2,144 of 2,383 people found this review helpful worth the read
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<p><a href="https://generalghoulgashes.tumblr.com/post/166901273035/hexpress-omgweatherunderground-ninxs75" class="tumblr_blog">generalghoulgashes</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="https://hexpress.tumblr.com/post/166901226367/omgweatherunderground-ninxs75" class="tumblr_blog">hexpress</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://omgweatherunderground.tumblr.com/post/166898220517/ninxs75-omgweatherunderground-ninxs75" class="tumblr_blog">omgweatherunderground</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://ninxs75.tumblr.com/post/166897978551/omgweatherunderground-ninxs75" class="tumblr_blog">ninxs75</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://omgweatherunderground.tumblr.com/post/166897870842/ninxs75-whiskey-gunpowder" class="tumblr_blog">omgweatherunderground</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://ninxs75.tumblr.com/post/166894233116/whiskey-gunpowder-guns-and-freedom" class="tumblr_blog">ninxs75</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://whiskey-gunpowder.tumblr.com/post/166892509166/guns-and-freedom-omgweatherunderground" class="tumblr_blog">whiskey-gunpowder</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://guns-and-freedom.tumblr.com/post/166892240883/omgweatherunderground-guns-and-freedom" class="tumblr_blog">guns-and-freedom</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://omgweatherunderground.tumblr.com/post/166891896232/guns-and-freedom-omgweatherunderground" class="tumblr_blog">omgweatherunderground</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://guns-and-freedom.tumblr.com/post/166891791563/omgweatherunderground-guns-and-freedom" class="tumblr_blog">guns-and-freedom</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://omgweatherunderground.tumblr.com/post/166891037397/guns-and-freedom-omgweatherunderground" class="tumblr_blog">omgweatherunderground</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://guns-and-freedom.tumblr.com/post/166891017893/omgweatherunderground-guns-and-freedom" class="tumblr_blog">guns-and-freedom</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://omgweatherunderground.tumblr.com/post/166890975227/guns-and-freedom-omgweatherunderground" class="tumblr_blog">omgweatherunderground</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://guns-and-freedom.tumblr.com/post/166890784483/omgweatherunderground-guns-and-freedom" class="tumblr_blog">guns-and-freedom</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://omgweatherunderground.tumblr.com/post/166890706722/guns-and-freedom-omgweatherunderground" class="tumblr_blog">omgweatherunderground</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://guns-and-freedom.tumblr.com/post/166890605293/omgweatherunderground-stupidisaac" class="tumblr_blog">guns-and-freedom</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://omgweatherunderground.tumblr.com/post/166890473192/stupidisaac-paratrooper504-winner" class="tumblr_blog">omgweatherunderground</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://stupidisaac.tumblr.com/post/166870047660/paratrooper504-winner" class="tumblr_blog">stupidisaac</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://paratrooper504.tumblr.com/post/166868655304/winner" class="tumblr_blog">paratrooper504</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>WINNER !!! 😂😂😂😂😂</p></blockquote> <p><a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/maVUwPoPfgRGtTWnL6M7inA">@the-awkward-belle</a> OMG</p> </blockquote> <p>First indictment of the Trump collusion investigation is apparently Hillary Clinton according to dumb ass fucking right-wingers. </p> </blockquote> <p>Keep crying so I can lube my gun with your tears. </p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="183" data-orig-width="275"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/4cf2178022597cd501bb86b49fea98e3/tumblr_inline_oyjyh99ffH1tnietr_500.jpg" data-orig-height="183" data-orig-width="275"/></figure></blockquote> <p>I’m not a liberal so that doesn’t make sense you fucking retard. </p> </blockquote> <p>Yes keep crying </p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="300" data-orig-width="400"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/2476cb999b71897b591fdd5621886772/tumblr_inline_oyjyrv0KHS1tnietr_500.gif" data-orig-height="300" data-orig-width="400"/></figure></blockquote> <p>Don’t you got some autistic screeching to do over people exercising their first amendment rights during the national anthem or something? </p> </blockquote> <p>I require more tears</p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="300" data-orig-width="500" data-tumblr-attribution="horrorandhalloween:RJ_ml84plftgeL68rz5u6A:ZNxDfk2PUN-Ti"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/6537d583bbc1b811eab420d059bb6c17/tumblr_ovibz6y5RU1uutnkko1_500.gif" data-orig-height="300" data-orig-width="500"/></figure></blockquote> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="486" data-orig-width="816"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/f5a53ee15fe0b238e4cfa64afac51e89/tumblr_inline_oyjz7cKRq71uystgl_540.png" data-orig-height="486" data-orig-width="816"/></figure></blockquote> <p>More, more, MORE! </p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="240" data-orig-width="225" data-tumblr-attribution="toqaahmed:-czck82tda_zYCgq9YTp-g:ZWhBps29rawA8"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/fa4258db351a0d359a7ae9055c147f1b/tumblr_oaxi95MU0K1s7mx9bo1_250.gif" data-orig-height="240" data-orig-width="225"/></figure></blockquote> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="359" data-orig-width="540"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/90c08099b545db3a8b9b091673362b9b/tumblr_inline_oyk0niiLyK1uystgl_540.jpg" data-orig-height="359" data-orig-width="540"/></figure><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="270" data-orig-width="540"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/c6b26a57fac6095abebd148925c9000d/tumblr_inline_oyk0nqToph1uystgl_540.jpg" data-orig-height="270" data-orig-width="540"/></figure></blockquote> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="200" data-orig-width="400" data-tumblr-attribution="haidaspicciare:Vvry4LUoHrTPODcAw0X2rg:ZZ1zKu2FLlIWV"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/0bdd531547def02e40821e9aa90f10c6/tumblr_ohiiys2I9b1rfd7lko1_400.gif" data-orig-height="200" data-orig-width="400"/></figure><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="175" data-orig-width="245" data-tumblr-attribution="lokiandthorblr:4fyu_RDs6qEE4_wOwgrJKw:Zq-D1q2AMxY4K"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/2b09860e5066eab9dfac8318d85dc18d/tumblr_obiedzZxSa1smeunto1_250.gif" data-orig-height="175" data-orig-width="245"/></figure></blockquote> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="501" data-orig-width="540"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/8fcbf8a516af23f17c37c95871eebbe9/tumblr_inline_oyk1qe84hS1rgdteo_540.png" data-orig-height="501" data-orig-width="540"/></figure></blockquote> <p>Keep cryin tuffguy. I think your pussy parents told you, you were a special lil unique snowflake and gave you too many trophies for being less than mediocre when you were little. Now you expect the world to kiss yur ass n give u shit for free without earning it. </p> </blockquote> <p>If you think about it, Confederate statues are really just participation trophies. </p> </blockquote> <p>Ok dumb fuck are you telling me there are no statues of Union officers. And what do statues have to do with anything. This is the last second I’m wasting on an uneducated entitled spineless turd like u so enjoy the attention</p> </blockquote> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="405" data-orig-width="540"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/d85ac712f7de5ab5264bed8e782f40c3/tumblr_inline_oykcaje3Pk1uystgl_540.jpg" data-orig-height="405" data-orig-width="540"/></figure></blockquote> <p>gj omgwu</p> <p>these motherfuckers basically have the same urls “guns-and-freedom” “whiskey-gunpowder” it’s fucking hilarious</p> </blockquote> <p>Still better than the terrorist supporting asswipe.</p></blockquote> <p>This thread is a fucking mess.</p>: 631128 TRUMP <p><a href="https://generalghoulgashes.tumblr.com/post/166901273035/hexpress-omgweatherunderground-ninxs75" class="tumblr_blog">generalghoulgashes</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="https://hexpress.tumblr.com/post/166901226367/omgweatherunderground-ninxs75" class="tumblr_blog">hexpress</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://omgweatherunderground.tumblr.com/post/166898220517/ninxs75-omgweatherunderground-ninxs75" class="tumblr_blog">omgweatherunderground</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://ninxs75.tumblr.com/post/166897978551/omgweatherunderground-ninxs75" class="tumblr_blog">ninxs75</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://omgweatherunderground.tumblr.com/post/166897870842/ninxs75-whiskey-gunpowder" class="tumblr_blog">omgweatherunderground</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://ninxs75.tumblr.com/post/166894233116/whiskey-gunpowder-guns-and-freedom" class="tumblr_blog">ninxs75</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://whiskey-gunpowder.tumblr.com/post/166892509166/guns-and-freedom-omgweatherunderground" class="tumblr_blog">whiskey-gunpowder</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://guns-and-freedom.tumblr.com/post/166892240883/omgweatherunderground-guns-and-freedom" class="tumblr_blog">guns-and-freedom</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://omgweatherunderground.tumblr.com/post/166891896232/guns-and-freedom-omgweatherunderground" class="tumblr_blog">omgweatherunderground</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://guns-and-freedom.tumblr.com/post/166891791563/omgweatherunderground-guns-and-freedom" class="tumblr_blog">guns-and-freedom</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://omgweatherunderground.tumblr.com/post/166891037397/guns-and-freedom-omgweatherunderground" class="tumblr_blog">omgweatherunderground</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://guns-and-freedom.tumblr.com/post/166891017893/omgweatherunderground-guns-and-freedom" class="tumblr_blog">guns-and-freedom</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://omgweatherunderground.tumblr.com/post/166890975227/guns-and-freedom-omgweatherunderground" class="tumblr_blog">omgweatherunderground</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://guns-and-freedom.tumblr.com/post/166890784483/omgweatherunderground-guns-and-freedom" class="tumblr_blog">guns-and-freedom</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://omgweatherunderground.tumblr.com/post/166890706722/guns-and-freedom-omgweatherunderground" class="tumblr_blog">omgweatherunderground</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://guns-and-freedom.tumblr.com/post/166890605293/omgweatherunderground-stupidisaac" class="tumblr_blog">guns-and-freedom</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://omgweatherunderground.tumblr.com/post/166890473192/stupidisaac-paratrooper504-winner" class="tumblr_blog">omgweatherunderground</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://stupidisaac.tumblr.com/post/166870047660/paratrooper504-winner" class="tumblr_blog">stupidisaac</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://paratrooper504.tumblr.com/post/166868655304/winner" class="tumblr_blog">paratrooper504</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>WINNER !!! 😂😂😂😂😂</p></blockquote> <p><a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/maVUwPoPfgRGtTWnL6M7inA">@the-awkward-belle</a> OMG</p> </blockquote> <p>First indictment of the Trump collusion investigation is apparently Hillary Clinton according to dumb ass fucking right-wingers. </p> </blockquote> <p>Keep crying so I can lube my gun with your tears. </p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="183" data-orig-width="275"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/4cf2178022597cd501bb86b49fea98e3/tumblr_inline_oyjyh99ffH1tnietr_500.jpg" data-orig-height="183" data-orig-width="275"/></figure></blockquote> <p>I’m not a liberal so that doesn’t make sense you fucking retard. </p> </blockquote> <p>Yes keep crying </p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="300" data-orig-width="400"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/2476cb999b71897b591fdd5621886772/tumblr_inline_oyjyrv0KHS1tnietr_500.gif" data-orig-height="300" data-orig-width="400"/></figure></blockquote> <p>Don’t you got some autistic screeching to do over people exercising their first amendment rights during the national anthem or something? </p> </blockquote> <p>I require more tears</p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="300" data-orig-width="500" data-tumblr-attribution="horrorandhalloween:RJ_ml84plftgeL68rz5u6A:ZNxDfk2PUN-Ti"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/6537d583bbc1b811eab420d059bb6c17/tumblr_ovibz6y5RU1uutnkko1_500.gif" data-orig-height="300" data-orig-width="500"/></figure></blockquote> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="486" data-orig-width="816"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/f5a53ee15fe0b238e4cfa64afac51e89/tumblr_inline_oyjz7cKRq71uystgl_540.png" data-orig-height="486" data-orig-width="816"/></figure></blockquote> <p>More, more, MORE! </p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="240" data-orig-width="225" data-tumblr-attribution="toqaahmed:-czck82tda_zYCgq9YTp-g:ZWhBps29rawA8"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/fa4258db351a0d359a7ae9055c147f1b/tumblr_oaxi95MU0K1s7mx9bo1_250.gif" data-orig-height="240" data-orig-width="225"/></figure></blockquote> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="359" data-orig-width="540"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/90c08099b545db3a8b9b091673362b9b/tumblr_inline_oyk0niiLyK1uystgl_540.jpg" data-orig-height="359" data-orig-width="540"/></figure><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="270" data-orig-width="540"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/c6b26a57fac6095abebd148925c9000d/tumblr_inline_oyk0nqToph1uystgl_540.jpg" data-orig-height="270" data-orig-width="540"/></figure></blockquote> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="200" data-orig-width="400" data-tumblr-attribution="haidaspicciare:Vvry4LUoHrTPODcAw0X2rg:ZZ1zKu2FLlIWV"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/0bdd531547def02e40821e9aa90f10c6/tumblr_ohiiys2I9b1rfd7lko1_400.gif" data-orig-height="200" data-orig-width="400"/></figure><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="175" data-orig-width="245" data-tumblr-attribution="lokiandthorblr:4fyu_RDs6qEE4_wOwgrJKw:Zq-D1q2AMxY4K"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/2b09860e5066eab9dfac8318d85dc18d/tumblr_obiedzZxSa1smeunto1_250.gif" data-orig-height="175" data-orig-width="245"/></figure></blockquote> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="501" data-orig-width="540"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/8fcbf8a516af23f17c37c95871eebbe9/tumblr_inline_oyk1qe84hS1rgdteo_540.png" data-orig-height="501" data-orig-width="540"/></figure></blockquote> <p>Keep cryin tuffguy. I think your pussy parents told you, you were a special lil unique snowflake and gave you too many trophies for being less than mediocre when you were little. Now you expect the world to kiss yur ass n give u shit for free without earning it. </p> </blockquote> <p>If you think about it, Confederate statues are really just participation trophies. </p> </blockquote> <p>Ok dumb fuck are you telling me there are no statues of Union officers. And what do statues have to do with anything. This is the last second I’m wasting on an uneducated entitled spineless turd like u so enjoy the attention</p> </blockquote> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="405" data-orig-width="540"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/d85ac712f7de5ab5264bed8e782f40c3/tumblr_inline_oykcaje3Pk1uystgl_540.jpg" data-orig-height="405" data-orig-width="540"/></figure></blockquote> <p>gj omgwu</p> <p>these motherfuckers basically have the same urls “guns-and-freedom” “whiskey-gunpowder” it’s fucking hilarious</p> </blockquote> <p>Still better than the terrorist supporting asswipe.</p></blockquote> <p>This thread is a fucking mess.</p>
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buckbeakbabie: qcknd: ishtarelisheba: soloontherocks: zohbugg: aquilamon: plentys: soggymoistbread1: gang0fwolves: whatwindsmeup: discoverynews: Switch off your sperm with this new male birth control Experience the sinking feeling, that anxious self doubt of “did I leave my balls on?” (a sensation similar to the nagging feeling you’ve left the iron on or the stove but with fewer house fires and more unintended pregnancies) this looks crazy painful id rather just have the kid(s) if i witnessed someone turning their balls off like this id jump out the nearest window tbh…… this is disgusting i don’t want machinery inside my ballsack Yeah no who’d want this amazing reversible birth control? Let’s just keep forcing birth control on women, making them take pills that literally include side effects like hormonal imbalances, blood clots, heavier and longer bleeding which can lead to anemia, and literally “sudden death”. Because birth control should definitely be the responsibility of women only. Men are so weak that they can’t stand the thought of something inside their ball sacks. I have an IUD, motherfuckers. I HAD SOMETHING METAL PAINFULLY SHOVED THROUGH MY CERVIX INTO MY UTERUS TO TRY TO PREVENT PREGNANCY. No anesthetic, no numbing. Just a rod right up my cervix. Wanna know what that feels like? Not pleasant. Oh! And I got an IUD because hormonal birth control pills were causing migraines and heart palpitations. But something in your balls? Nah fuck that shit, that sounds invasive. Y’all over here saying you’d rather have the kids then take the burden of birth control and family planning off your woman and let her continue to suffer with the current forms of birth control that don’t even work 100% of the time? You’d literally rather have to be responsible for a human being for 18 years than get a simple 30 minute procedure on your fucking saggyass ballsack? Are you fucking serious? I’m just saying it’s better to be shot at by a gun with no bullets than be shot at wearing a bulletproof vest. And the bullet proof vest might kill you even when you’re not being shot at.  Science has been trying to push male birth control for ages and I’m fucking sick and tired of nothing ever getting funding, or getting FDA approval, or getting recognized as a responsibility for everyone, and certainly not just the responsibility of women. Fuck this patriarchy bullshit.  “Hey, take this potentially lifethreatening medicine for literally the next 40 years of your life, because I don’t want to touch my own balls for a half second.” Yes, men have fewer options for personal birth control, because literally almost every single form of it is rejected by them for ridiculous reasons that are far less than or equal to the discomfort or side-effects involved in birth control methods that involve solely women.  It all boils down to men not giving a fuck about the women they have sex with as long as they aren’t inconvenienced. They would rather a woman take ~40 years worth of pills that can cause a heap of life-threatening health problems, or have invasive surgery, or have an IUD, or or or anything as long as it means they don’t have to do shit. Look at how many men don’t even want to use a condom. I mean, hey, a 30 minute outpatient surgery to install an invisible switch that doesn’t affect their long term fertility at all is too much trouble or too painful. But fuck knows these are the same guys who would tell their girlfriends or wives to go get an IUD or have a tubal ligation like it’s a mani-pedi. Assholes. I’m close to six months off of my hormonal birth control and I’m still suffering from the side effects. When I brought condoms home and expressed how this was the form of birth control I was leaning towards now my partner spit out, “oh I don’t really like wearing condoms.” Oh. I’m sorry sweetie, I didn’t realize I chemically forced my body back into the hormonal state of a nine year old girl all this time just so you could best optimize your nut. I get vision blurring migraines from the combined pill. Literally can’t take oestrogen. The mini pill isn’t all that reliable, so I was on injections. They didn’t want me to be on them for more than two years because they were concerned there was a risk it would thin my bones. I got the implant in my arm, but it caused me to have low-level spotting for literally three months, making me at risk for anaemia and generally fucking up my metabolism completely. During a conversation with my then boyfriend about all of this, he said ‘yeah, but you know… I hate wearing condoms.’ My biggest regret about that relationship is that instead of snapping back ‘I hate having debilitating headaches, brittle bones and no fucking iron, so deal with it’ instead of sitting there battling the feeling that it was me, that I had done something wrong in not being able to just find some easy way to handle it. It still makes me so angry to this day. : buckbeakbabie: qcknd: ishtarelisheba: soloontherocks: zohbugg: aquilamon: plentys: soggymoistbread1: gang0fwolves: whatwindsmeup: discoverynews: Switch off your sperm with this new male birth control Experience the sinking feeling, that anxious self doubt of “did I leave my balls on?” (a sensation similar to the nagging feeling you’ve left the iron on or the stove but with fewer house fires and more unintended pregnancies) this looks crazy painful id rather just have the kid(s) if i witnessed someone turning their balls off like this id jump out the nearest window tbh…… this is disgusting i don’t want machinery inside my ballsack Yeah no who’d want this amazing reversible birth control? Let’s just keep forcing birth control on women, making them take pills that literally include side effects like hormonal imbalances, blood clots, heavier and longer bleeding which can lead to anemia, and literally “sudden death”. Because birth control should definitely be the responsibility of women only. Men are so weak that they can’t stand the thought of something inside their ball sacks. I have an IUD, motherfuckers. I HAD SOMETHING METAL PAINFULLY SHOVED THROUGH MY CERVIX INTO MY UTERUS TO TRY TO PREVENT PREGNANCY. No anesthetic, no numbing. Just a rod right up my cervix. Wanna know what that feels like? Not pleasant. Oh! And I got an IUD because hormonal birth control pills were causing migraines and heart palpitations. But something in your balls? Nah fuck that shit, that sounds invasive. Y’all over here saying you’d rather have the kids then take the burden of birth control and family planning off your woman and let her continue to suffer with the current forms of birth control that don’t even work 100% of the time? You’d literally rather have to be responsible for a human being for 18 years than get a simple 30 minute procedure on your fucking saggyass ballsack? Are you fucking serious? I’m just saying it’s better to be shot at by a gun with no bullets than be shot at wearing a bulletproof vest. And the bullet proof vest might kill you even when you’re not being shot at.  Science has been trying to push male birth control for ages and I’m fucking sick and tired of nothing ever getting funding, or getting FDA approval, or getting recognized as a responsibility for everyone, and certainly not just the responsibility of women. Fuck this patriarchy bullshit.  “Hey, take this potentially lifethreatening medicine for literally the next 40 years of your life, because I don’t want to touch my own balls for a half second.” Yes, men have fewer options for personal birth control, because literally almost every single form of it is rejected by them for ridiculous reasons that are far less than or equal to the discomfort or side-effects involved in birth control methods that involve solely women.  It all boils down to men not giving a fuck about the women they have sex with as long as they aren’t inconvenienced. They would rather a woman take ~40 years worth of pills that can cause a heap of life-threatening health problems, or have invasive surgery, or have an IUD, or or or anything as long as it means they don’t have to do shit. Look at how many men don’t even want to use a condom. I mean, hey, a 30 minute outpatient surgery to install an invisible switch that doesn’t affect their long term fertility at all is too much trouble or too painful. But fuck knows these are the same guys who would tell their girlfriends or wives to go get an IUD or have a tubal ligation like it’s a mani-pedi. Assholes. I’m close to six months off of my hormonal birth control and I’m still suffering from the side effects. When I brought condoms home and expressed how this was the form of birth control I was leaning towards now my partner spit out, “oh I don’t really like wearing condoms.” Oh. I’m sorry sweetie, I didn’t realize I chemically forced my body back into the hormonal state of a nine year old girl all this time just so you could best optimize your nut. I get vision blurring migraines from the combined pill. Literally can’t take oestrogen. The mini pill isn’t all that reliable, so I was on injections. They didn’t want me to be on them for more than two years because they were concerned there was a risk it would thin my bones. I got the implant in my arm, but it caused me to have low-level spotting for literally three months, making me at risk for anaemia and generally fucking up my metabolism completely. During a conversation with my then boyfriend about all of this, he said ‘yeah, but you know… I hate wearing condoms.’ My biggest regret about that relationship is that instead of snapping back ‘I hate having debilitating headaches, brittle bones and no fucking iron, so deal with it’ instead of sitting there battling the feeling that it was me, that I had done something wrong in not being able to just find some easy way to handle it. It still makes me so angry to this day.
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