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Bad, Batman, and Joker: Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Batman movies and then asked it to write a Batman movie of its own. Here is the first page. BATMAN INT. TRADITIONAL BATCAVE BATMAN stands next to his batmobile and uses his batcomputer He's sometimes Bruce Wayne sometimes Batman. Alltimes orphan BATMAN This is now a safe city. I have punched a penguin into prison ALFRED, Batman's loyal batler, carries a tray of goth ham ALFRED Eat a dinner, Mattress Wayne An explosion explodes. THE JOKER and TWO-FACE enter the cave Joker is a clown but insane. Two-Face is a man but attorney BATMAN No! It is Two-Face and One-Face. a bat They hate me for being Batman throws Alfred at Two-Face. Two-Face flips Alfred like a coin. Alfred lands heads up which means Two-Face goes home BATMAN (CONT'D) It is just you and I, the Joker. Bat versus clown. Moral enemies THE JOKER I am such a freak. Society is bad You drink water, I drink anarchy ΒΑTMAΝ I drink bats just like a bat would! Batman looks around for his parents, but they are still dead This makes him have anger. He fires a batrocket. The Joker deflects it with his sick sense of humor. A clOwnly power THE JOKER I have never followed a rule. That is my rule. Do you follow? I don't BATMAN Alfred, give birth to Robin Alfred begins the process since it is his job. The Joker now has a present in his hand. He juggles it over to Batman THE JOKER Happy batday, Birthman Batman opens the present since he's a good guy. It contains a coupon for new parents, but is expired. This is a Joker joke
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Creepy, Drinking, and Facts: R 43% 20:41 Sean 4 days ago HOW YOU DOIBIPHY Hey Sean! X 3 days ago Hey yourself You know it was only last week said to my pal;'if a girl opened with a Friends quote I'd probably just marry her Oh shit, I better buy a dress! ORMAGIE COM GIPHY Should probably go out once or twice first. Just to keep everyone's parents happy Meh, fuck em Alright I like your attitude Good job really if we're getting married Tell me things What things would you like? I have much wisdom Top 5 facts about Sean Fact 1.I'm up at 5am so I must be rude and ask to continue this in the morrow if that's ok Request granted. But i want a further 5 facts 2 days ago Alright you ready? Born ready 11 have been in a coma for 2 days 2. I once played an astronaut in a Universal Studios show 3. I'll make you hate me via puns 4.I coach football. 5. I can make you laugh out loud wherever you are with one simple joke You go Excellent facts! Can you prove number 5 please? Oh shit I meant I have experienced a 2 day coma. Not the last 2 days Yes can. Why do flamingoes only lift one leg up when they stand? 1. I've never broken a bone 2. Even though I'm a strong independent woman. spiders and creepy crawlies in my house freak me tf out 3. Got 4 sisters and an army of nieces and nephews 4. My wit makes people either hate me or fall madly in love with me 5. I'm an excellent drinking buddy Go on.... Yes i gathered thats what you meant about the coma hahah If they lifted both up they'd fall Over Ok that was pretty funny Considering proved my number 5,l'd like you to do the same Deal. Name the place and time Yesterday He got me there!
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Bad, Batman, and Joker: Thread Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Batman movies and then asked it to write a Batman movie of its own. Here is the first page. BATHAN INT. TRADITIONAL BATCAVE BATMAN stands next to his batmobile and uses hia batcomputer. He'e sometimes Bruce Wayne sometimes Batman. Alltimes orphan BATMAN This is now a safe city. I have punched a penguin into prison ALFRED, Batman's loyal batler, carries a tray of goth ham ALFRED Eat a dinner, Mattress Wayne. An explosion explodes. THE JOKER and TWo-FACE enter the cave Joker is a clown but insane. Two-Face is a man but attorney. BATMAN No! It is Two-Face and One-Face They hate me for being a bat Batman throws Alfred at Two-Face. Two-Face flips Alfred like a coin. Alfred lands heade up which mean8 Two-Face goes home. BATMAN (CONT 'D) It is just you and I, the Joker Bat versus clown. Moral enemies THE JOKER I am such a freak. Society is bad You drink water, I drink anarchy BATMAN I drink bats just like a bat would! Batman looks around for his parents, but they are still dead This makes him have anger. He fires a batrocket. The Joker deflects it with his sick sense of humor. A clownly power. THE JOKER I have never followed a rule. That is my rule. Do you follow? I don't BATMAN Alfred, give birth to Robin Alfred begins the process since it is his job. The Joker now has a present in his hand. He juggles it over to Batman THE JOKER Happy batday, Birthman Batman opens the present since he's a coupon for new parents, but is expired. This is a Joker joke. good guy. It contains a meirl

meirl

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America, Bad, and Children: There is no such thing as an American dream n Europe we try to be civil and have empathy queeranarchism: queerautism: queeranarchism: love-geofffree: designatedheckingadult: queeranarchism: LOL NOPE Europe is racist as fuck. Europe has armed gaurds and high fences on its borders. Europe makes it illegal to rescue refugees at sea. Europe locks up refugee children. Europe has killer cops that shoot teenagers of color. Europe is full of fascist politicians nostalgically fantasizing about ethnic cleansing. Not a day goes by without attacks on Muslims. Fuck Europe. Can confirm. The problem with England (I can’t talk for the rest of Europe) is that our racism and our xenophobia and all our bigoted views manifest in a different way then America, and we use this to claim that it doesn’t exist, even when our country is built on it. We are taught that the British empire was a good thing, and pretty much no one here knows anything about colionisation and our role in most current world problems. But the amount of times that I’ve tried to talk about any issue within England and been shut down with the claim “well we’re not as bad as America”. That’s why the trump protests were so important. We are constantly looking to America to justify our own bigotry. We’ll call America out on their unjust wars, and ignore the fact our own army and government was supporting them. Listen, I like my country- I like that we have a rich history (not that I support it, but heck, everyone likes learning about the Roman Empire, doesn’t mean they think it’s a good thing), I like that we have countrysides and big diverse towns like London, I like that we love fish and chips and curry sauce, I love our old pubs and traditional pub food, I like that we have the NHS (though I dislike how it’s run), I like our sense of dry gallows humour, I like our film and tv industry, I love our history of theatre, I love our myths and legends. But god damn are we historically an awful country, and have we ever tried to make reparations? Our actions are still affecting other countries and ruining life. I don’t like the empire, I don’t like what the monarchy stands for, I don’t like our politicians that spew bigotry and hate, I don’t like our press which are like vultures, I don’t like the power the BBC has to cover-up actual sexual abuse and rape, I hate Katie Hopkins and that she has any platform to spew her hate, I hate Brexit and that it was founded on hate, I hate how we think our lives are more valuable than that of refuges or immigrants, I hate that we don’t think that we are directly or indirectly responsible for a lot of the refugees and asylum seekers that exist today, I hate that we have a system that is actively leading to the deaths of disabled people and that even when investigated by the UN and told to change because we were violating human rights we refused, I hate how we support America’s bigotry and then use their country as a shield when accused of our own bigotry. I hate that we, as a country, are incapable of accepting responsibility and making amends for our terrible actions. Incredibly well put. One of the tricky things is that every European country has their own fictional self image which it keeps repeating to convince itself it’s not a bigoted shithole. In the UK it’s very much focused on being better than the US, being civilized and polite and stylish, while.. ya know… having a lot of blood on its hands and doing all the same racist and bigoted shit everyone else is doing. In the Netherlands it’s focused on being ‘tolerant’ and gay-friendly and having semi-legal weed, while.. ya know… having a lot of blood on its hands and doing all the same racist and bigoted shit everyone else is doing.  In Germany it’s focused on having ‘learned from the second world war’ and being ‘better now, while . . ya know… having a lot of blood on its hands and doing all the same racist and bigoted shit everyone else is doing. And so on.. every European country considers itself either an underdog or a pioneer or a peak of civilization or small and quirky and of course they all consider themselves so much better than the US while doing all the same racist and bigoted shit everyone else is doing.  https://metro.co.uk/2016/10/27/man-severely-beaten-after-being-told-to-speak-f-english-speaks-out-6218523/ I still remember exactly how it felt to read about this man being brutally asssulted, HIT ON THE FACE WITH A PLANK OF WOOD, in London, a city I lived next to and visited all the time, simple because he was speaking my native language in public. I remember breaking down sobbing because of how many people in this country I love hate me so fucking much for being born somewhere else. IIRC, there was another similar incident on the underground this past April. So tell me more about the supposed lack of xenophobia and racism in Europe These sort of things are sometimes best articulated by people who did not grow up here and suddenly experience it all at once. Pretty much every exchange student of color that I’ve spoken to in the Netherlands has recounted an experience to me that went pretty much like this: Day 1: “Yay! The Netherlands! Country of tolerance and gay rights!” Day 2: “Huh, that person was really friendly to me and did like 15 micro-aggression, that was weird” Day 4: “Waaaaaiiitt… why does this happen constantly? Are people messing with me?  Am I imagining this? Do I just misunderstand their culture? The Netherlands can’t be this racist.” Day 10: “Oh my god, I’m not imagining it, people actually are this racist and they think they’re not! WTF” Day 12: “Holy crap, if I try to point out a micro-aggression people go from super friendly to hyper aggressive screaming in my face in about 5 seconds. And people I thought I could trust jump to their defense. What is this hellscape?” Day 13: “Everything I thought I knew about the Netherlands is wrong. This place is so racist.” Day 14: “Holy crap, is that a primary school teacher in black face?” A Muslim girl was drowned in a river by school bullies and found with bite marks and the police are trying to write it off as her forgetting she couldn’t swim and jumping in the river to cool down? A local fisherman saw it all but was written off as being drunk even though he wasn’t. The school of the girl and the bullies is trying to change it’s name so it will no longer be associated with the incident.The school was Broad Oak Sports College. The river was River Irwell in Bury, Greater Manchester. The girl was Shukri Abdi and she was 12 years old and her and her family recently moved from Somalia. She was the eldest of 5 and her mum is completely distraught, and her uncle has been trying to point out that it wasn’t just a “tragic accident”.Racism still exists in the most horrific forms in the UK.
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